How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Silence can feel like the “safe” choice after pregnancy or baby loss, but for many bereaved dads it becomes a cage. When people avoid the topic, minimize miscarriage, or freeze up around stillbirth, TFMR, neonatal death, or infant loss, the message lands hard: your grief doesn’t belong here. 

This episode speaks directly to the friends, family, co-workers, faith leaders, and community members who want to support a grieving father but aren’t sure what to do.

I talk about why so many dads want to be seen as a father even when their child isn’t here to introduce. I share what it’s like when a casual comment forces a split-second decision between honesty and protecting everyone from discomfort, and why many men choose silence. I also unpack the obstacles that keep fathers quiet: cultural expectations about masculinity, fear of judgment, the unique stigma around TFMR, and the dismissive way miscarriage is too often treated.

You’ll learn what emotional and psychological safety actually looks like, why disenfranchised grief matters, what research suggests about fathers’ mental health, and how to check in without trying to fix or explain away the loss. 

If you want to be the kind of supporter who makes room for grief and for life again, this one is for you.

If this resonates, follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who wants to show up well for a bereaved dad.

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SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

PEER-SUPPORT

Black Dads in Loss Support Group

Dads in Loss Support Group

For a list of other support groups through Postpartum Support International click here.

THEME MUSIC 

"Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

SHOW MUSIC

Headshot by Elevate Audio

Skin by Midnight Daydream

Orange Cap by Ghost Beatz

RELATED EPISODES

Talking Platitudes with Miscarriage Mumma Support (October 12, 2025)

Suffering In Silence [part 1] (April 6, 2026)

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

The hardest part of grief can be when the texts slow down, the calls fade, and you are back to routine life while everyone around you assumes you are “back to normal.” 

This episode talks about that hidden stretch after pregnancy or baby loss when routine returns, but you are still trying to survive what changed inside you.

I dig into a core part of fatherhood identity that loss can shake to the bone: protector and provider. When you cannot be a protector, it can trigger guilt, shame, and that relentless question underneath it all: "what do I do now?" 

I share personal stories about reaching for the provider role as a way to find purpose and stability, including how going back to work can feel doable while still leaving your grief untouched.

I also name the fine line between coping and avoiding. Using routine as an anchor can be healthy, but numbing out with busyness, overtime, or distraction often pushes pain into the future where it comes back heavier. You will hear practical ways to communicate, “I’m functioning, but I’m not okay,” plus concrete support options like exploring employee benefits, therapy, peer groups for bereaved dads, faith community care when it feels safe, and how partners can help without trying to fix us.

If any part of this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more dads can find support.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

PEER-SUPPORT

Black Dads in Loss Support Group

For a list of other support groups through Postpartum Support International click here.

THEME MUSIC 

"Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

SHOW MUSIC

Jeopardy Theme 

Echo by Ghost Beatz

Magic Garden by Daniele Musto

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

The hardest part of grief can be how ordinary everything looks around you. One minute you’re walking out of an ultrasound room with the worst news of your life, and the next minute someone is smiling and saying “have a good day.” That clash can feel unreal, infuriating, and isolating, especially for dads navigating miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss while trying to “hold it together” at work and at home.

I break down a concept that puts language to that experience: dissociative detachment. I describe it as living in two realities at once: the reality where you’ve lost your baby and your future just changed, and the reality where everyone else keeps moving as if nothing happened. 

I begin with  the “womb of the imagination,” how becoming a father starts forming long before birth, and why the sudden end of that imagined future can leave you feeling numb, guilty, ashamed, or like you’re on autopilot.

I also get practical. I share ways to handle those pockets of time when the gap between your grief and the outside world feels widest, why other people’s discomfort is not your burden, and when to reach out to a primary care doctor or licensed mental health professional. If you’re supporting a bereaved dad, I offer guidance on sharing your own life updates with care without forcing him to reassure you.

If this resonates, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, leave a review to help other grieving fathers find the podcast, and share this with someone who needs language for what they’re carrying.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

PEER-SUPPORT

Black Dads in Loss Support Group

For a list of other support groups through Postpartum Support International click here.

THEME MUSIC 

"Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

RELEVANT LITERATURE

• EMDR & Perinatal Mental Health
• Beyond the Worry: 7 Lesser-Known Signs of Postpartum Anxiety
• Trauma-Related Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders

A HELPFUL VIDEO: 4 Types of Dissociation

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Today's episode reflects on a different kind of loss: pet loss. In this experience, putting down my cat became the gateway to connecting with different aspects of baby loss.

Lucky, my cat, was part of our home’s heartbeat, and the speed of his decline shook me more than I expected. From the first signs something was wrong to the vet’s clarity about kidney failure, I reflect on the moment love translates into action that still hurts.

Grief gets loud in small bodies and in adult bodies too, and the goodbye at the vet, the empty carrier on the way home, and the broken routines afterward all left marks. That silence in the house became a mirror, reflecting something I've seen for years in baby loss and miscarriage grief, especially for dads trying to stay steady while their insides shift.

This reflection is careful about comparisons while still taking grief seriously. It explores why “ranking” pain can be a way to avoid it, how bereavement can connect one loss to another without asking permission, and why grief does not need to be perfectly explained before it deserves attention. 

If you’re a grieving father, or you love one, you’ll find language here for the quiet parts: the empty spaces, the objects that sting, and the love that stays present even when the routine is gone. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving dads can find support.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

God Remembers by Anthony Catacoli

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

This episode, released in 2023 on The Miscarriage Dad's Podcast, is reappropriated from another podcast I hosted called "Welcome To Fatherhood". 

SHOW NOTES

A doctor shrugs after telling a couple they’re going to lose their twins, and that single moment becomes a scar you can feel years later. Brandon Byrnes joins me to share the full story: the shock of finding out they were expecting twins, the joy of watching them move on an ultrasound, weeks of bed rest and fear, and then the frantic drive to the hospital as the pregnancy ends. We don’t sensationalize miscarriage and pregnancy loss, but we also don’t soften what it can do to a marriage, a nervous system, and a parent’s sense of safety.

We talk about the part that often goes unspoken: fatherhood grief. Brandon describes how military training helped him function in chaos and how the real emotional impact landed later, like a constant noise in the background of his life. We dig into medical trauma, anger, and the helpless “solve it” instinct many men feel when there’s nothing left to fix. If you’ve ever searched for support after miscarriage, coping with infant loss, or how to help your spouse through pregnancy loss, you’ll hear language you can actually use.

We also make room for meaning. Brandon shares how they honored their twins through remembrance, why naming Taylor and Jaden mattered, and how listening without advice can become a form of healing for dads who don’t have many places to put this kind of pain. 

If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents and partners can find it.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information.

Show Music from Soundstripe

European Sunrise & God Remembers by Anthony Catacoli

Among The Stars (Stripped) by Violet Mourning

Drift by Bobo Renthlei 

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Grief doesn’t end when the world stops checking on you. Sometimes it waits, quiet and contained, until another loss cracks the container and everything rushes back. This week concludes my conversation rich conversation with Azher Rubanni, a dad who has lived with infant loss for two decades, and he shares the moment he realized that staying in “loss” wasn’t serving him and that growth can live in giving, purpose, and remembering his son, Hashim, as a gift.

We explore what resurfaced grief for Azher years later: business collapse, identity loss, divorce, and the shock of losing a parent. The conversation gets painfully specific about triggers that many grieving fathers recognize but rarely say out loud: birthdays that line up with the day your baby was born, pregnancies in the family, and watching kids grow into the age your child would have been. We also name a stigma that keeps dads isolated and then flip it with one clear reframe: grief is love. Tears are not proof you’re failing. They’re proof your bond is still real.

Then we get practical. Azher shares the benefits of expressive writing for grief and trauma. You’ll hear a structured letter-writing framework built for dads who want a purposeful process: name the loss, name what you want, decide who walks with you, choose a next step, and write directly to your child. We close by discussing the STILL method, a method developed by Azher, and a set of resources for those interested in learning more. 

You can find these gifts here.

If you’re carrying miscarriage grief, stillbirth grief, or infant loss grief, come listen, share this with another dad, and leave a review so more fathers can find a way to move with grief rather than trying to move on.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Ocean Blue & Belvedere by Cody Martin

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

How do you live after your baby dies without feeling like you’re betraying them by surviving? That question sits at the center of my conversation with Azher Rubanni, a father who lost his son Hashim in a full-term stillbirth 20 years ago. We get honest about what many dads feel but rarely say: the pressure to be the “strong one,” the instinct to suppress emotion to protect your partner and kids, and the quiet fear that if the pain ever dulls, you’ll be forgetting your child.

Azher walks us through the day everything changed, including the moment he decided, in a hospital car park, that he would become the supporter no matter what it cost him inside. We talk about telling his three sons their brother would not be coming home, the cultural forces that tried to keep children away from grief, and why inviting kids into the truth can build trust for life. We also explore how different grieving styles inside a marriage can create distance, and why the workplace can become both a refuge and a trap, especially for fathers who feel they must “perform” competence while falling apart.

Then we shift to what helps over the long term. Azher offers a powerful alternative to the language of “healing” and “moving on”: reconciliation. He breaks it into three parts: 

1. reconciling with yourself 
2. reconciling with your child’s memory 
3. and reconciling with the relationships you still have. 

If you’re navigating stillbirth, miscarriage, baby loss, or parenting after loss, this one is a grounded, candid conversation for fathers and the people who love them. 

Subscribe, share with a dad who needs it, and leave a review telling us what part hit home.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Sunfrost by Cody Martin

First Bloom by Moments

Farewells by Shimmer

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Today I conclude my conversation with Ross Knight, a pastor and husband, who learns, painfully and honestly, that trying to be “the strong one” can become a way of disappearing from your own grief. We talk about miscarriage from a father’s perspective, the invisible pressure to keep functioning, and the moment he realizes he has been so focused on his wife’s trauma that he never stopped to ask himself a basic question: how am I doing?

We walk through the realities of IVF and male infertility, including genetic testing and a chromosomal translocation that makes the odds of a healthy pregnancy brutally small. Alongside the science is the emotional fallout: guilt, shame, and the craving to regain control by fixing everything fast. We also get into why so many couples suffer in silence after pregnancy loss, especially when you’re trying to protect your partner, your privacy, or your community role. When he finally shares publicly, the flood of responses becomes proof of something many grieving dads need to hear: you are not alone, and connection is not weakness.

Faith is part of this story too, not as a neat explanation, but as wrestling, surrender, and the long work of relinquishing what you cannot control. The turning point comes with a hard, hopeful pivot toward adoption, and he shares why adoption is not a consolation prize but a real path into parenthood, love, and purpose.

If you know someone navigating miscarriage, infertility, IVF loss, or adoption after baby loss, share this conversation with them. 

Subscribe to Dad Always, leave a review, and tell us: what helped you most when you finally stopped suffering in silence?

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Nowhere Left To Turn by Ghost Beatz

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

The part of baby loss we don’t hear enough is what happens to dads when everyone assumes we’re “fine.” This week I speak with my friend, Ross Knight, for a raw conversation about infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and the quiet ways grief shows up in men who are trying to hold everything together.

Ross shares the road from early marriage hopes to the shock of a male factor infertility diagnosis and the stigma that can come with it. We talk about the pressure of fertility treatment, the real cost of IVF, and the painful imbalance many couples face when the wife’s body carries the medical burden even when the fertility issue isn’t hers. Ross also reflects on being a pastor during all of this, managing public responsibilities while suffering in silence at home.

Then hope arrives fast: a positive pregnancy test, early ultrasounds, telling family, and finally letting themselves picture a future. Under COVID restrictions, appointments become harder and lonelier, and one day a string of texts signals that something is wrong. What follows is the moment no parent is prepared for: walking into a room and learning there is no heartbeat. We unpack the aftermath, the DNC decision, the clash of grieving styles in marriage, and the line that changes Ross’s internal world weeks later: “How are you doing with all this?”

If you’ve faced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infertility, or IVF, this story offers language for what you may not have named yet and a reminder to check on both parents. 

Subscribe for more conversations about fatherhood after loss, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help other dads find the support they’ve been missing.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

"Those Were The Days" & "Young Love" by Nu Alkemi$t

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Silence can be louder than any sound you’ve ever heard, and for parents facing stillbirth, that silence doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. Today we hear from David Ryall, a bereaved father living in Australia, sharing the story of his son Daniel (Danya), born in Bali, and the surprising way love can show up right beside shock, grief, and disbelief.

David walks me through the day everything changed at 36 weeks, the moment a home Doppler revealed nothing but quiet, and the rush to a hospital confirmation that no parent is ready for. We talk about the real decisions that come next: induction, pain, recovery, and how to stay present with your partner when your own heart is breaking. He also shares what helped them meet their baby with care, including friends who brought music, midwives who created space, mantras that rose naturally in the room, and the choice to capture photos and videos as memory making after pregnancy loss.

Because this is Dad Always, we name something that often goes unspoken: support for dads after stillbirth. David explains why practical action felt grounding rather than traumatic, how cultural rituals in Bali shaped his acceptance, and why the work of “taking care of my son” didn’t stop after birth. We also explore how sound and silence shape grief, including a nearby newborn they nicknamed the “baby duck,” and how hope for future children can return even in the middle of loss.

If you’re navigating baby loss, supporting a grieving partner, or looking for bereaved father resources, this conversation offers honest companionship and concrete perspective. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find Dad Always. You can also visit the Dad Always website to explore support options and download the SURVIVE guide, a free resource for dad's navigating baby loss.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Little Star - the actual rendition on the day of Danya's cremation ceremony in  Bali, sung by his parents and those who love him (obtained with permission from David Ryall, Danya's dad).

Show Music from Soundstripe

If We Could Let Go by Kurtis Parks

Never Let You Go by Emorie

Related Episode:

Parenting Through The Silence (part 1)