Episode 204 - Idols, Demons, and Humans - The Three Phases Between Fathers and Sons

Every father and son travel through three powerful emotional phases in their relationship — idolization, demonization, and humanization. This episode explores the evolution of how sons see their fathers as they age and grow in understanding.

The conversation dives deep into how time and experience reshape perspective. When we’re young, our fathers are heroes who can do no wrong. As teenagers or young adults, we often swing to the opposite extreme — blaming them for flaws and mistakes. But with age and reflection, we begin to see them as people, shaped by their own stories, pain, and imperfections.

Listeners will hear reflections on forgiveness, empathy, and how acknowledging our fathers’ humanity can free us from resentment. It’s a raw, honest look at what it means to move from judgment to understanding — and how that shift can bring healing and connection across generations.

every father–son relationship evolves through three distinct emotional phases — idolization, demonization, and humanization.

When sons are young, they look up to their dads as heroes who can fix anything and know everything. As they grow older, that pedestal starts to wobble. The “demonize” phase emerges when sons begin to see their father’s imperfections — authority starts to feel restricting, discipline can sting, and rebellion finds its voice. Yet with time, maturity, and perspective, something profound happens: sons begin to humanize their fathers. They see them not as flawless role models or as antagonists, but as real men with their own struggles, stories, and scars. This is the moment of reconciliation and empathy — where love and understanding can replace judgment and resentment.​

Research shows that how fathers model emotional openness and resilience deeply shapes their sons’ mental health, empathy, and sense of masculinity. Studies from National Center for Biotechnology Information (NIH) emphasize that father–son relationships framed around empathy and emotional availability help young men develop confidence, communication skills, and healthier relationships with others.​

Dads who demonstrate both strength and vulnerability raise sons who are more adaptable and emotionally aware. This transformation — from authority figure to human connection — is a cornerstone of generational healing.

• Reflect on which phase you’re currently living in with your own father or son. Are you idolizing, demonizing, or humanizing?
• Lead with curiosity — understanding the experiences that shaped your dad helps soften resentment.
• Model emotional honesty with your son; let him see you fail, repair, and grow. That transparency teaches love in motion.
• Remember: forgiveness isn’t weakness; it’s the bridge that connects generations.

Every father and son will eventually confront the mirror of time and empathy. In seeing our dads as humans, we not only reclaim compassion — we redefine what it truly means to be a father ourselves.

For more information:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 203 - The Real Friend Test - When Your Success Becomes Their Discomfort

Business ownership reveals the true dynamics of friendship. When launching your venture, some people suddenly expect "bro deals"—special pricing or favors—while others support you without hesitation, recognizing your hard work and cheering for your success. It's ironic that many will tip generously at a café but hesitate to pay full price to someone they know. This mindset can undercut both your business and the confidence you need to pursue your dreams.

Real friends not only pay fairly but go above and beyond to advocate and promote your business. Their investment helps you thrive and fosters meaningful community support. However, as your business grows, tensions may arise—old friends might struggle with your upward trajectory, experiencing discomfort with changes to status or the perceived shift in relationship. This can manifest as jealousy or criticism, as your progress reminds them of places where they may have settled or stopped pushing themselves.

Let these moments guide you in setting healthy boundaries, surrounding yourself with those who genuinely root for your journey—not just when it's convenient for them. Entrepreneurship is an act of courage, and sometimes, true friendship is proven not by words, but by action and respect for your worth

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 202 - Showing Kids How to Argue with Respect and Empathy - Don't Hide Your Disagreements

Teaching kids to argue with respect and empathy - and not hiding parental disagreements—can foster emotional intelligence, healthy conflict resolution skills, and stronger family connections

• When kids see parents argue respectfully, they learn that disagreements are a natural part of relationships and can be resolved without hurtful behavior.​
• Hiding all disagreements can confuse children, who sense underlying tension but don’t see healthy ways to resolve it, potentially leading to anxiety or insecurity

Parents should never argue or disagree in front of their kids, and share research that suggests the opposite—it's actually beneficial when done constructively

Key Skills to Model:

• Active Listening: Engage in conversation where everyone gets to express their point of view without interruption.​
• “I” Statements: Use language like “I feel concerned when…” instead of blaming or accusatory statements.​
• Acknowledging Perspectives: Validate the other person's feelings or viewpoint, teaching empathy and mutual respect.

Tangible Takeaways:

• Kids benefit from seeing disagreements that end in compromise, understanding, or affectionate reconnection, rather than unresolved tension or aggression.​
• Having “repair moments” after conflict—showing how to apologize and reconnect—models essential social skills.​
• Enable kids to voice their own perspectives within the family, fostering their ability to disagree respectfully with peers and adults.

Practical Tips for Dads:

• Stay calm, keep tone respectful, and focus on the issue, not personal attacks.​
• Use disagreements as teaching moments for problem-solving and compromise.
• After conflict, discuss what happened and model reflecting, apologizing, and reconnecting

As Dads, we need to embrace authentic, respectful conversations at home, allowing kids to see the full arc of disagreement to resolution. By doing so, they help shape emotionally resilient, empathetic adults equipped to handle conflict thoughtfully in every part of life.

For more on this topic - check out -

https://talkingworks.ca/uncategorized/healthy-arguments-how-parents-can-disagree-with-children-effectively/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 201 - Never Letting Go First - The Disney Hug Rule and Dad’s Role in Emotional Safety

The Disney Hug Rule is an unofficial but widely recognized guideline observed by Disney characters at the parks: when a child initiates a hug, the character does not let go until the child decides to end the embrace. This rule is rooted in empathy and kindness, ensuring that children feel fully comforted and emotionally supported during their magical experience. It acknowledges that the child may need the hug for as long as they choose because "you never know how much that child may need that hug." Characters are trained to hold the hug patiently, making guests feel valued and loved, which creates lasting memories for families visiting the parks. While not a strict official policy, it is a purposeful practice reflecting Disney's commitment to connection and warmth.

Applying this rule to parenting, especially for dads with their children and in loving relationships with wives or partners, it suggests a powerful lesson: in love and care, one should be patient and fully present, holding onto the emotional connection as long as the other person needs it. In parenting, this means giving children the safety and security of emotional availability, allowing them to lean in for comfort and support without rushing away. For dads, this embodies nurturing presence and unconditional love—being there physically and emotionally until the child naturally pulls away, building trust and a secure bond.

Similarly, in relationships with wives and partners, adopting the spirit of the Disney Hug Rule advocates for sustained emotional presence and affection. It means holding on emotionally and physically, being patient and receptive to the partner’s needs for closeness and reassurance. This approach strengthens intimacy and fosters a deep sense of being loved and valued, reinforcing a respectful and empathetic partnership.

Dads can use the Disney Hug Rule—never letting go first when hugging their kids—as a powerful tool for teaching emotional safety and trust. This approach communicates to children that their feelings and needs are important and respected, allowing them to decide when they are ready to end a moment of closeness. By consistently hugging until the child lets go first, dads send the message that they are a safe, patient, and attentive presence, which promotes confidence and reassurance in the child’s relationship with their parent

• Always let children end the hug, no matter their age—this transfers a sense of control, respect, and security to the child, showing that their comfort is the priority.
• Use hugs as moments of genuine connection, being fully present without distractions, which helps children feel seen and valued.
• Reinforce emotional safety by embracing feelings—whether a child is sad, excited, or anxious, the lingering hug lets them know their emotions are accepted and supported.
• Promote body autonomy and consent by allowing kids to choose when physical affection ends—this underpins future emotional intelligence and healthy boundaries.
• Integrate this practice into daily routines: before school, at bedtime, or during moments of distress, turning each hug into a brief but impactful lesson in trust and comfort.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 200 - How Labels Shape Our Kids - The Words We Choose Matter

Labels applied to children—whether intended as praise or criticism—can profoundly shape a child's sense of identity, their behavior, and what opportunities they believe are open to them. This topic is the subject of several important articles and resources for parents, which underline why careful language, especially from dads, is essential for a child's long-term mental health and self-worth.

• Labels create a “self-fulfilling prophecy” when children internalize them, feeling pressure to live up (or down) to expectations set by significant adults.
• Both negative and positive labels can limit development: negative labels hurt self-esteem, while positive ones may create anxiety if a child feels they have to maintain the trait at all times.
• Repeated language from parents, especially dads, becomes “truth” for a child, impacting relationships with peers, teachers, and eventually shaping their opportunities.

• Praise specific behaviors (“You showed kindness today”) rather than fixed identities (“You are always kind”).
• Make room for new interests and highlight effort, not just outcome or natural ability.
• Encourage repeated positive self-talk and let kids know change is always possible—identity isn’t set in stone.
• Model openness and vulnerability as a parent, showing that everyone can learn, grow, and change.

Labels stick to kids and affect their behavior by influencing how they view themselves, what others expect of them, and the opportunities they pursue—making every word a Dad says deeply important for a child's sense of identity.

Children absorb what they're told with surprising sensitivity, especially from parents and family members. Repeated labels—whether “troublemaker,” “shy,” or “smart”—become internalized as “truths.” These labels can shape a child's self-concept, and over time, they begin to see themselves mainly through the lens of those labels.

Even labels meant in good fun or as praise can be limiting when they put kids in a box or create unrealistic expectations.

Every supportive conversation helps to untangle the hurt of old labels and allows kids to build self-worth, resilience, and trust in their own potential. Each day truly offers a new chance to reinvent and grow.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 199 - Wait Until Your Dad Gets Home - Why Kids Should Run Toward, Not From, Dad

A healthy and welcoming home tone starts with dads and partners being intentional about how everyone feels when Dad arrives and how discipline is communicated. Here are four main strategies, with supporting ideas, that can transform the “wait till your father gets home” sentiment into one of anticipation and warmth, plus podcast title suggestions for your episode

• Respect is foundational for positive relationships and a healthy home atmosphere. Dads have a unique impact—what is said and, especially, how it’s said matters; speaking gently, giving eye contact, and greeting others warmly model respect.
• Encourage respectful communication between partners and children. Avoid harshness and sarcasm; instead, use kind words to keep lines of listening open and build trust

• The classic phrase “wait till your father gets home” can create anxiety or fear if used as a threat. Instead, parents should address issues together and communicate with collaborative language: “Let’s talk with Dad about what happened so we can all learn and move forward”.
• Don’t set up Dad as the “bad cop” or the source of punishment, this can damage children’s perception of their relationship with him. Handle small issues immediately and use arrival times as moments for reconnection, not confrontation

• How Dad enters matters—a cheerful greeting (hugs, excited shouts, smiles) sets the mood for the evening and can become a cherished family ritual. Dads should reciprocate by demonstrating excitement and genuine joy when seeing their family after work.
• Use physical cues (open lighting, tidy spaces, favorite music, or simple routines like a shared snack) to make everyone’s return home feel special and safe, reinforcing positive anticipation when Dad comes home.

• Dads and partners can build emotional safety by owning mistakes, apologizing sincerely, and listening empathetically. Show kids that nobody is perfect, and modeling humility helps relationships flourish.
• Empathy—validating emotions even in tough moments, helps to de-escalate conflict and encourages children to approach parents with their feelings and challenges, rather than hide or dread conversations

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 198 - How Dads Can Help Kids Cope With Disturbing Events Online

To address horrific events in the news as a Dad with children—especially with the flood of real-time, sometimes graphic information online—requires honest, age-appropriate conversation, parental guidance on media, and intentional emotional support. Here’s how to help kids process unfettered access to traumatic world events:

• Be truthful about events, but only share details your child can process based on age and maturity

• Monitor screen and social media time closely; turn off background news or screens when kids are around.
• Proactively block access to graphic images or videos and absorb news together, encouraging discussion afterwards

• Ask what your child has seen, heard, or feels. Let them talk and express worry, sadness, anger, or confusion
• Normalize their emotions; assure them it's okay to feel upset or ask questions.

• Emphasize what is being done to keep everyone safe and how community helpers support those affected.
• Maintain familiar routines—meals, bedtime—to restore a sense of normalcy and security.

• Ask what they’ve heard from peers or social media, clarifying rumors and correcting any false ideas.
• Put events in context, focusing on stories of resilience and positive community action.

• Encourage older children and teens to reflect on why certain stories go viral and discuss the purpose behind media coverage.
• Highlight opportunities for kindness, compassion, and community support—even small acts they can take

By providing guidance and safe space for open discussion, Dads can help children navigate distressing world events, build resilience, and maintain emotional well-being in today’s connected world.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 197 - Happy Dad, Healthy Family, Joyful Fatherhood Without Guilt

Dads often neglect their own happiness in favor of family needs, but prioritizing personal joy and open communication is critical for the well-being of the entire family and the health of relationships.

Making time for hobbies, self-care, and sharing these needs with a partner—as well as letting go of guilt—helps dads stay recharge, remain engaged, and model healthy emotional behaviors for their children.

Busy dads can reclaim "me time" through intentional strategies such as scheduling personal activities, setting boundaries, starting with small time commitments (as little as 15–30 minutes a day), integrating family and personal interests, and practicing mindfulness. Suggestions include engaging in hobbies, regular exercise, solo outings (like seeing a movie or getting a massage), and spending time with friends.

Many fathers feel guilty for enjoying personal activities away from family, but embracing hobbies and interests helps recharge energy and enrich identity—making for better parenting. Communication and reciprocity with a partner are essential: encourage each other to pursue interests and recognize everyone’s unique needs for self-care. Letting go of guilt leads to happier, more balanced fatherhood.

Having an honest conversation with a partner is crucial. Express what you need in terms of self-care—time, activities, and support—and invite your partner to share their needs too. Approach it as a two-way, empathetic discussion focused on “refilling your cup” so you’re present, fulfilled, and better able to support your family. Implementing a clear and mutual plan ensures both partners understand and honor each other’s needs.

A dad’s well-being is strongly tied to family health, children’s development, and relationship satisfaction. When fathers model healthy self-care and emotional fulfillment, children benefit from improved attachment, confidence, academic achievement, and psychological health. Involved, happy dads create nurturing environments where the whole family thrives

Here is an action-oriented summary that dads can use and apply right away to find more joy, prioritize happiness, and support their families through intentional self-care:

• Commit to Prioritizing Your Well-Being: Make a conscious decision to value your happiness and self-care as essential, not optional. Recognize that when you care for yourself, you model healthy behavior and improve the family's well-being.
• Schedule “Me Time” Regularly: Block out time in your calendar each week for hobbies, interests, exercise, or peaceful downtime. Treat this time as non-negotiable and just as important as other commitments.
• Acknowledge Your Emotions: Notice and accept your feelings—whether stress, joy, or anxiety—without judgment. Express your needs and feelings openly, so you're less likely to bottle them up.
• Talk to Your Partner: Share openly about your need for personal time and fulfillment. Frame the conversation around being your best self for your partner and family. Invite them to share their needs as well and work on a plan together.
• Reconnect with Your Passions: Restart a hobby or activity that once brought joy. Let go of guilt—making time for healthy interests helps recharge your mental, emotional, and physical health.
• Stay Connected: Maintain friendships and build community—especially with other dads. Social support makes it easier to process challenges and celebrate joys.
• Stay Active: Add movement to your daily routine, like walking, biking, or playing a sport. Physical activity is a proven stress reliever and energizer.
• Ask for Help When Needed: Seek support—whether from friends, family, or professionals—if you feel overwhelmed. This doesn't make you less strong; it strengthens your ability to support those you love.

These steps, when practiced with intention, help dads refill their cup, lower stress, spark joy, and build stronger family connections through presence, positivity, and emotional health.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 196 - Chris Kruger - Black Hawk Helicopters, Multiple Deployments, Anger and Fear, Lessons for Dads

Chris Kruger grew up just outside Spokane, Washington, and joined the Army before turning 21, driven by a sense of purpose and a thirst for challenge. Over the next 22 years, he forged a diverse and demanding military career—starting as an infantryman and eventually becoming a Blackhawk maintenance test pilot. His journey took him from Basic Training and Airborne School at Fort Benning to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, where he completed an impressive lineup of elite training programs, including Amphibious Reconnaissance School, Ranger School, HALO and HALO Jumpmaster, and Flight School, among others. Along the way, he earned the Expert and Combat Infantryman Badges, a Bronze Star, a Meritorious Service Medal, and several other honors.

Chris deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Far East, spending more than five and a half years overseas—experiences that deeply shaped his outlook on leadership, resilience, and life. After retiring, he turned to writing as a way to unpack and give meaning to those intense years. What began as personal reflection quickly became a mission to reach others walking similar paths.

Today, Chris lives in Huntsville, Alabama, with his wife Genevieve and their two daughters, Charlize and Isabelle—writing from a place of survival, strength, and connection. Together, Chris and Genevieve are active in their local church and committed to encouraging others to overcome life’s hardships, expanding their reach through writing and a forthcoming podcast aimed at inspiring healing, faith, and perseverance.

Book: Walking Away from the Ledge: A Soldier's Memoir

Walking Away from the Ledge is a hard-hitting, no-BS military memoir that goes beyond the battlefield to expose the raw truth of war, survival, and self-destruction. With an unapologetic voice and brutal honesty, Chris takes readers deep inside the challenging world of an Army Ranger, the brotherhood that holds soldiers together, and the personal demons that threaten to tear them apart.

More than a war story, this book is about what happens when the fight doesn’t end—the toll of combat, the grip of addiction, and the struggle to hold onto love when everything else is falling apart. This memoir hits hard, digs deep, and refuses to look away.

https://a.co/d/4nhPNiR

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 195 - Kelly Farley - Grieving Dads, He Lost His Baby Too, Survival Guide for the Grieving Dad

If you have ever loved a child, then you understand what it’s like to love someone more than you love life itself. If you have ever lost a child, then you understand more about hell than anyone could possibly be expected to know. This isn’t something you get over. Only those who have lost a child can understand the depths to which this pain travels. Like most of the men who will read these books, I too am a grieving dad.

The message I want bereaved fathers to understand is that I know it’s hard, I know it hurts, I know it’s scary — but you can get through this. You can survive. It will be the hardest thing you will ever experience; it will drain you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You can come out on the other side of this very long and lonely tunnel, but you will be a different person when you do. There is no going back to the old you.

You also need to know that you are not alone in your grief. Other men have been through this and that the emotions they keep inside are the same emotions all of us experience, even if we don't talk about them. The best thing you can do is to reach out for help and to know it is not a sign of “weakness” to do so. Instead, it’s a sign of courage and strength — the kind that’s required to face this battle head on.

This book was written specifically for fathers grappling with the unbearable aftermath of losing a baby. It is all too easy for a bereaved father to succumb to a haunting sense of isolation after such a loss. However, within these pages lies a lifeline—a survival guide infused with wisdom, providing a roadmap through the complicated path of grief.

In the wake of a tragic loss—whether it be a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or the untimely passing of an infant—this invaluable resource unravels the layers of anguish that overwhelm grieving fathers. Written by a grieving dad, this book offers unflinching honesty and poignant insight, it also delves into the raw pain that accompanies such a profound loss, assuring these men that their emotions, however overwhelming, are both valid and shared by others who have walked a similar path.

A collection of candid stories from grieving dads that were interviewed over a two-year period. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad, “this terrible, terrible club,” which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale.

They are real stories that pull no punches and are told with brutal honesty. Men that have shared their deepest and darkest moments. Moments that included thoughts of suicide, self-medication, and homelessness. Some of these men have found their way back from the brink, while others are still standing there, stuck in their pain. The core message of Grieving Dads is “you’re not alone.” It is a message that desperately needs to be delivered to grieving dads who often grieve in silence due to society’s expectations.

https://www.grievingdads.com/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270