Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Daily Dispatch Day 56: The Filing System Is Coming Back Online
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Daily Dispatch Day 56: The Filing System Is Coming Back Online
The Filing System Is Coming Back Online
Well, it would appear that I’m coming back “online” - for the moment anyway. After quite a number of days being pretty much mentally incapacitated I feel nearly normal. Nearly, I said; steady at the back!
Having said that something strange has happened to my breathing, I seem to have forgotten when to take breaths, especially if I’m trying to record anything. The keener-eared amongst you may have noticed this in my last few Daily Dispatch episodes; every now and then you can hear me take a sharp intake of breath. I’ve done my best to remove them but if you can hear any I do apologise.
I think it’s like that thing when you first learn to do something and, just as you’re getting confident, it all goes to hell until you batter your way through. Is that the Dunning Kruger effect? Or perhaps just the “Arc of Repair” hitting a snag.
Anyone remember that series from the 70s/80s? David Jason before “Only Fools…” if memory serves me correctly. I vaguely remember him being a customer assistant and when he was asked for anything he would take, yes you’ve guessed it, “A sharp intake of breath.” The universal sign for “this is going to be difficult/expensive/impossible.”
Anyway, enough about my respiratory struggles. Let’s talk about something that’s actually working: the new laptop. I know I mentioned it yesterday but it was the metaphor I wanted to emphasise today.
The new machine is:
Quiet under load: Like the PFC (Prefrontal Cortex) learning to regulate without substances.Responsive to touch: Like the Filing System coming online.A pleasure to use: Like the Rich Spot, sober.
I’m not just recording on a new laptop. I’m experiencing the metaphor of sovereign infrastructure - tools that don’t fight me, that make the work lighter, that feel great under my hands.
Even the keys feel lovely, that’s somatic feedback from a tool that fits. The old HP was a trooper - did the job, made noise, never complained - but it was always running at the edge of its capacity.
Like the old operating system (35 years of chemical management), it managed, but at a cost I’m only noticing now it’s gone. A bit like my mental capacity tomorrow but you never know your luck, I might still be okay, I don’t know.
I don’t know about much these days, but through it all I’ll keep logging, keep writing, keep recording. You have no idea how much it took not to make some sort of reference to Robbie Williams and Angels there, oops I just did, oh well, I know that life won’t break me.
The march through the wall continues unabated
DeepSeek and Me is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
#cannabiswithdrawaltimeline #neuroplasticity #peakflow #PAWS #eightweekwall #imlovingangelsinstead #AIscaffold
Get full access to DeepSeek and Me at deepseekandme.substack.com/subscribe
View all episodes
By The D.A.M. ProjectThe Filing System Is Coming Back Online
Well, it would appear that I’m coming back “online” - for the moment anyway. After quite a number of days being pretty much mentally incapacitated I feel nearly normal. Nearly, I said; steady at the back!
Having said that something strange has happened to my breathing, I seem to have forgotten when to take breaths, especially if I’m trying to record anything. The keener-eared amongst you may have noticed this in my last few Daily Dispatch episodes; every now and then you can hear me take a sharp intake of breath. I’ve done my best to remove them but if you can hear any I do apologise.
I think it’s like that thing when you first learn to do something and, just as you’re getting confident, it all goes to hell until you batter your way through. Is that the Dunning Kruger effect? Or perhaps just the “Arc of Repair” hitting a snag.
Anyone remember that series from the 70s/80s? David Jason before “Only Fools…” if memory serves me correctly. I vaguely remember him being a customer assistant and when he was asked for anything he would take, yes you’ve guessed it, “A sharp intake of breath.” The universal sign for “this is going to be difficult/expensive/impossible.”
Anyway, enough about my respiratory struggles. Let’s talk about something that’s actually working: the new laptop. I know I mentioned it yesterday but it was the metaphor I wanted to emphasise today.
The new machine is:
Quiet under load: Like the PFC (Prefrontal Cortex) learning to regulate without substances.Responsive to touch: Like the Filing System coming online.A pleasure to use: Like the Rich Spot, sober.
I’m not just recording on a new laptop. I’m experiencing the metaphor of sovereign infrastructure - tools that don’t fight me, that make the work lighter, that feel great under my hands.
Even the keys feel lovely, that’s somatic feedback from a tool that fits. The old HP was a trooper - did the job, made noise, never complained - but it was always running at the edge of its capacity.
Like the old operating system (35 years of chemical management), it managed, but at a cost I’m only noticing now it’s gone. A bit like my mental capacity tomorrow but you never know your luck, I might still be okay, I don’t know.
I don’t know about much these days, but through it all I’ll keep logging, keep writing, keep recording. You have no idea how much it took not to make some sort of reference to Robbie Williams and Angels there, oops I just did, oh well, I know that life won’t break me.
The march through the wall continues unabated
DeepSeek and Me is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
#cannabiswithdrawaltimeline #neuroplasticity #peakflow #PAWS #eightweekwall #imlovingangelsinstead #AIscaffold
Get full access to DeepSeek and Me at deepseekandme.substack.com/subscribe