Dance Past Sunset Podcast

Happy Halloween 2020 everybody. My name is Brant Huddleston, host of the Dance Past Sunset podcast, a show about how to let go of fear and enjoy peak life experiences in the second half of life. Today's show is going to get a little spooky!   Disappearing villages. Shaved heads. Millionaire shepherds? That's a strange assortment of topics for a show, but as with my last show, this one is going to be a little different.   You see, in 2019 I took a trip around the world, courtesy of a gift from my brother, a pilot with American Airlines. I traveled that year from the rocky coasts of Portugal, to the hot sands of Morocco, to the mangrove swamps of Panama, with many places beyond and between. In cheap hostels and the backwaters of the nomadic milieu, I discovered a treasure chest of colorful and fascinating people. One of those is the man you are about to meet, the son of vampires and warriors, a fashion mag tycoon, and a real Transylvanian.   His story is told in a chapter of my new book Blue Skyways, now available on Amazon, a story I am about to read for you. A warning: Not everything in Marius' story is halloween fun, some of it is brutal -- but all of it is worth thinking about, and all of it is true. So sit back, relax, and take a ride with me on the Blue Skyways.

For Christmas 2018, my brother, a pilot with American Airlines, gave me a gift that became the experience of a lifetime: 12 months of free travel anywhere American Airlines flies.   Thus began a year long journey that took me from the rocky coast of Portugal, to the hot sands of Morocco, to the mangrove swamps of Panama, with many places beyond and between. In cheap hostels and the backwaters of the nomadic milieu, I discovered a treasure chest of colorful and fascinating people.   The trip became as much a spiritual and emotional journey inward as it was a literal outward one, and found me in a place those of you who are in the second half of life are likely to recognize.    What you are about to hear is a chapter from a book I wrote about that experience, one called Blue Skyways, now available on Amazon. With references to the philosophies of Carl Gustof Jung, Jesus, Bob Dylan, and the Buddha, Blue Skyways is an international romp by a man in his 60’s with not much more than a pack on his back, and still much to learn. I met many fascinating people during that trip, and I tell their stories, plus a bit of my own.   Before I read this chapter from Blue Skyways, I want to explain some of the background noises you may hear in the recording. My recording studio was a hotel balcony in Datça, Turkey during the dawn hours. Naturally I picked up some spurious morning sounds, birds and the like, which I consider to be the soundtrack to my life. I don't find them distracting, and I hope you don't either. If you want to see pictures of my place in Turkey and the awe inspiring sunrises I saw from that balcony, please check out my Youtube channel GoMobile Tours.    But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy a ride on the Blue Skyways.

In my last show I introduced Galen Fous, a 70 year old kink-positive therapist, author, educator and sex researcher who self-identifies as a heterosexual, dominant erotic sadist. In this show I continue my conversation with Galen, where he explains a bit more about his sexual identity, plus we talk about how to have good, healthy sex in the second half of life. I believe the F bomb is dropped at some point, but otherwise the conversation is mostly PG rated and best suited for adults interested in learning more about how to realize their sexually authentic selves.   I like how Galen broadens the conversation and takes it to a higher level, not so much about kink but rather the importance of being your honest self. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”   So please welcome Galen Fous for Part Two of my interview with him on discovering your authentic sexual self.

My next Dance Past Sunset show will continue my series on sex in the second half, which began with health and beauty consultant Sophie Benge speaking on her personal experience with menopause, followed by Wendy Cobina Demos speaking on restoring sex to its sacred place.

My next guest, a 70 year old man, will talk about his journey of reclaiming his own sexual power, and in doing so finally feeling witnessed, seen, and loved. He developed a profound sense of trust and depth of intimacy he would have never experienced without some courageous personal honesty, something I’d like to think we all develop as we move into the second half of our lives.

But before I introduce my guest, who will be interviewed in two parts, I want to offer some context.

A New and Better Ethic As you may know from my book Blue Skyways, or from comments I’ve made over the years on this show, I spent about 30 years in the evangelical Christian faith, having become “born again” on July 25, 1975 at the tender age of nineteen. When I actually left the faith is less clear, since I kind of smudged out about 14 years ago, keeping some things I valued and throwing out others.

One ethic I threw out is the disapproval most but not all evangelical christian's hold for LGBTQ sexual orientation, or for genders other than those distinctly male and female. I personally no longer accept that ethic. A quick study of biology shows diversity in gender and sexuality, physically if not emotionally and spiritually, and I respect science.

So I have taken to heart what is for me a new ethic, and for me, a better one. I support a non-binary, gender fluid world that respects and celebrates all genders and that everyone should be able to live their truth in complete freedom. The challenges of our world are complex, and it will take all hands on deck to solve them: all races, all ages, all faiths, all genders, everybody.

My Next Guest Galen Fous That new ethic made it easy for me to welcome my next guest, Galen Fous, a man who self-identifies as a heterosexual, dominant erotic sadist, and if you think you know what that means, then I suggest you also listen to part two of this show. Galen is also a kink-positive therapist, author, educator and sex researcher. He is the inventor of the Tetruss Shibari Suspension Bondage Rig, Portable BDSM Dungeon and Sex Swing, which is the world’s most versatile adult toy, and most recently, the my yoga chair. At age 70, he has some good and interesting ideas for how to stay in shape through the second half of life, sexually and otherwise.

Our conversation is probably PG rated, so not for little kids, but really useful for any adult seeking to reclaim their own sexual power, and in doing so, finally being able to live in true freedom, feeling witnessed, seen, and loved.

Sex & Death Some of you may be wondering how I move from death, the subject of most of my earlier shows and still the red thread that runs though them, and sex, the subject of recent shows. Notwithstanding that sex and death are two of the most powerful forces affecting humans, there is a profound connection, a sort of Ariadne's string that leads us from one to the other in the labyrinth of life. It has everything to do with personal authenticity.

Confronting death has a way of stripping away the imposter in us, the person who is living someone else’s life instead of his own. That brutal confrontation doesn’t have to be with the final death, the one with a capital D, although I understand that one is foolproof. Finding our true selves can also come by encountering one of the secondary deaths, like divorce, job loss, serious illness, a Near Death Experience, or the loss of a friendship or loved one. It can be anything that ushers in what the Catholics call the “dark night of the soul.”

Galen has his own brutal confrontation when his partner outted him and he lost everything — his job, his children, his position in his community — everything. Then, finally, and only then, was he free to be who he was all along, but now with the honesty and integrity that are vital to wholeness. He died, but then he was born again in a more honest form.

I like to think that those of us who are in the second half of life, no matter our age, are primed to begin living our own true, authentic lives, free from the patterns and complexes that held us prisoners in the first half. If you’ve had your own encounter with death, than you know to not to waste a single moment chasing someone else’s dream, or living someone else’s life. Make the most of every moment, because it’s the only moment you’ve got.

I am coming to you from the quaint town of Tavira, Portugal, part of my year long travel around the world and the subject of my third book "Blue Skyways." I’ll tell you at the end of the show how you can access an exclusive copy of Blue Skyways, but for now, I want to talk about sex. Yes, this next show is another in my “sex in the second half” series, and not all the content is suitable for the kiddies, so please use discretion before playing this podcast over your elementary school's PA system.

Now I’ll admit, I am as dumb as a bag of rocks on many of these issues, which is exactly why I’m curious to explore them. At 63 years old, I can feel my body changing, and that is affecting my sex life. Sound familiar? Furthermore, my ideas about relationships are shifting. Is traditional marriage still the right model for men and women who want to have sex, or is there something else? What about living together 24 by seven by 365? Might there be another approach that is not quite so…ahem…suffocating?

I talk about all this and more with my next guest Wendy Cobina Demos, who is the founder of the Sacred Sexual Music festivals and JuicyMeJuicy.com. Wendy and I met in her home city of Vancouver, British Columbia, where we huddled for this recording in her festival van on a rainy evening. Not only does Wendy have a wonderful vision for restoring the sacredness of sex, which you’ll hear about in this interview, she also a talented musician. You can hear one of her songs playing in the background.

So please join me on the Dance you my conversation with Wendy Cobina Demos of SacredSexualMusicFestival.com.

I first interviewed my friend Daniel Roberto Ortega a few years ago about his art, which he creates from a combination of natural hemp and the cremated remains of pets and people. I suspected at the time that Daniel was stoned, and I made light of it in my introduction to that show. Well, Daniel came clean with me recently and admitted that he was high, and that’s how I learned about his new non-profit venture called Cannabis for Seniors, which is an informational resource for all things hemp.   But why seniors? What should people in the second half of life know about this plant and its medical and euphoric effects? Daniel and I talk about that, plus the variety of ways to use cannabis, how it is helping veterans and others with pain and trauma, as well as some things to be careful of. It’s all here in this episode of the Dance, and you can rest easy, neither of us were stoned at the time, so the interview is chock full of useful information for anyone who has never tried cannabis or for those who tried years ago but might want to try again.   So please join me in welcoming artist, stoner, and host of the website Cannabis for Seniors, Daniel Roberto Ortega.

As I promised in Part One of my interview with Sophie Benge, in this Part Two things get a bit racier as we dive into specific ways women can thrive through menopause, stay connected to their bodies, and wake up their sexual magnetism. While our talk is highly respectful, we do touch on topics that would not be suitable for young children, so some parental guidance is recommended, plus I do drop the occasional cuss word.    My guest, Sophie Benge, an international journalist and consultant on beauty and wellness, with a focus on women. She is the author of several books on the healing power of natural resources, the human energy system, and ancient systems of medicine. She is the curator of retreats and workshops for women over 40 called Aging Gracefully,including one coming up in late November 2019.   If you want to feel better about yourself, if you want to know what the best options are for easing the symptoms of menopause, if you want more and better sex, then you will want to listen to this show, because Sophie lays it all out in detail, with no holds barred. To my male listeners, pay attention guys, This show is chock full of good information for you too, including an opportunity and the end that you won’t want to miss.

I met my next guest in Portugal last May, at a conference on healing, and was immediately attracted to her natural beauty and radiance. No surprise there — just take a look at her picture! When someone has an inner smile, it manifests outwardly, and I love to see it.

Sophie Benge is an international journalist and consultant on beauty and wellness, with a focus on women. Now guys, don’t turn me off yet, because you are going to want to hear Sophie explain how you and the woman in your life can have more and better sex, and we do that by talking about…wait for it…menopause. That’s right, Sophie and I dive deeply into this often misunderstood stage of life that affects most women of a certain age, and so it affects us men too.

Sophie Benge is the author of several books on the healing power of natural resources, the human energy system, and ancient systems of medicine. She is the curator of retreats and workshops called Aging Gracefully, including one coming up in late November 2019. But Sophie is not just about seaweed soaks and kundalini, she is also a sucker for the traditional salon blow dry and wrinkle-reducing cream. I know — when I was looking pretty shaggy after six weeks on the road, Sophie helped me get a a good haircut in London, where she lives and works.

Now I have a confession to make before we get started. As with so many subjects we cover on this podcast, I knew almost nothing about menopause. You’ll pick up on that as Sophie gives me a proper schooling on Hormone Replacement Therapy, the symptoms of menopause, and how it affects our sex lives. There was so much to learn that I broke the interview into two parts, and while they are both PG rated, the discussion gets decidedly saucier as we go on.

So please join me for Part One of my two part interview with Sophie Benge, international journalist, author and curator of Ageing Gracefully as we talk about menopause.

This next show is deeply personal, because I have the treasured opportunity to interview one of my oldest and dearest friends, a man who was literally given up for dead by the medical establishment, and yet who lived to tell a harrowing story of devastation, faith, hard work, and eventually, restoration.   Ron Frappier was at the peak of his game, one of the top five corporate security lawyers in the country. Then, in a split second, everything changed.   This show is more than just about enjoying peak life experiences — it’s about finding meaning in life. For Ron, that meant defying every prognosis given by his doctors, and doing the hard, hard work it takes to come back from a traumatic brain injury. It meant finding that sacred balance between accepting “what is” while at the same time determining, with all you heart, strength and soul, to make things different. If that sounds oxymoronic, it is, because that’s “God logic” and not “human logic.”   If you, like me and Ron, are in the second half of your life and struggling with all the challenges that come with it, then you will want to listen to this interview with my good friend and champion Ron Frappier. I guarantee it will leave you inspired.

In part one of my interview with Danish photographer Klaus Bo, we learned how he got started with his dead and alive project, chronicling death rituals from Greenland, Haiti, Madagascar, Ghana, India, Indonesia and Nepal. You can see those pictures on his website DeadandAliveProject.com.   In this second and final part of my interview with Klaus, we talk about food. That’s right! When the living come together, even for a funeral, food is often and important part of that ritual, even if it’s just coffee and cake.   What you won’t hear is me and Klaus after the mics were turned off kicking around the idea of an Anthony Bourdain style  TV show involving food, culture, travel, and death rituals. Like the idea? Let us know by liking this podcast on iTunes or following me on Facebook. Your likes will tell producers there’s a market out there for a show like that.   But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy part two of my two part interview with Danish photographer Klaus Bo, on the Dance Past Sunset podcast.