Dark Wings, Dork Words

Jon arrives at Dragonstone, where he comes face-to-face with Daenerys.  She wants him to bend the knee.  Jon asks for help to fight the Night King and the Army of the Dead.  Daenerys is baffled.  Melisandre skips town, but says "I'll be back".  Bran arrives at Winterfell and creeps Sansa the fuck out.  Euron delivers his prize to Cersei, who indicates they can marry once they win the war.  Cersei gives Tyene a poisok Kiss and condemns Ellaria to watch her die. Jorah demonstrates his remarkable recovery from his grayscalectomy. The Archmaester gives Sam a pile of busy work as his reward.  Grey Worm and the Unsullied capture a barely-defended Casterly Rock, while Euron sinks their fleet. Jaime captures Highgarden with the bulk of the Lannister forces and Randyl Tarly's men. Jamie allows Olenna to die painlessly from poison, but she gets the last word.

Jon arrives at Dragonstone, where he comes face-to-face with Daenerys.  She wants him to bend the knee.  Jon asks for help to fight the Night King and the Army of the Dead.  Daenerys is baffled.  Melisandre skips town, but says "I'll be back".  Bran arrives at Winterfell and creeps Sansa the fuck out.  Euron delivers his prize to Cersei, who indicates they can marry once they win the war.  Cersei gives Tyene a poisok Kiss and condemns Ellaria to watch her die. Jorah demonstrates his remarkable recovery from his grayscalectomy. The Archmaester gives Sam a pile of busy work as his reward.  Grey Worm and the Unsullied capture a barely-defended Casterly Rock, while Euron sinks their fleet. Jaime captures Highgarden with the bulk of the Lannister forces and Randyl Tarly's men. Jamie allows Olenna to die painlessly from poison, but she gets the last word.

Daenerys sends the sea snakes on Yara's fleet to gather the forces of Dorne, sends the Unsullied to attack Casterly Rock and plans a siege of King's Landing. She has a heart-to-heart with Varys, warning him to be more honest and loyal than he has proved to past Kings.  Melisandre shows up to pitch her flexible prophecy. Grey Worm and Missandei share a touching, and naked, farewell. Cersei tries to woo the bannermen of Highgarden to her side to repel the foreign invaders. Qyburn invents the ballista. Arya visits Hot Pie and discovers that Jon is King in the North. Jon leaves for Dragonstone in hopes of getting Daenerys's support against the White Walkers, and access to the Dragonglass mine.  He leaves Sansa in charge after punching Littlefinger in the dick. Sam performs a gross and painful grayscalectomy on Jorah.  Brutal pirate action on the high seas when Euron's fleet attacks Yara's, and we're treated to a thrilling sequence that wipes several more players off the board.

Seven be praised, Game Of Thrones is back and so are we!  The new season kicks off with a killer cold open featuring Arya, followed by a lot of table setting.  We get a good look at where are the surviving major characters are and what their motivations are.  Jon, Sansa, Littlefinger, Tormund, Brienne and Pod at Castle Black.  Oh yeah, and Bran and Meera arrive there as well.  Bran's reunion with his siblings didn't make the cut this week, but surely we'll see that next time.  Cersei and Jamie have an uneasy discussion in the Queen's new map/courtyard, then enjoy an audience with Euron Greyjoy.  Sam spends an eternity cleaning chamber pots and sloshing stew for the maesters in Old Town, but finally sneaks a look at the restricted section. The episode closes out with Daenerys and her armada arriving at Dragonstone, on Westerosi soil at last.  Shall we begin?