This week we were joined by our friend Jacob Falkovich. Jacob publishes some of the best “White-pilled” dating advice out there on his blog Second Person, and in addition to being a great Twitter follow he’s also known for putanumonit. We discuss the importance of agency in dating, the negativity bias prevalent in dating discourse, and the limited use-cases for dating apps. Jacob suggests taking a break from the metanarratives about dating (and how hopeless it is) to focus on your actual experiences—who are you meeting, what kind of things do you want to do with a partner (as opposed to what can you notice about them in the first 10 seconds), what is your actual dating market and is there a way to make it more favorable? We also touch on transactional relationships and the impact of identity and social norms on dating choices. Jacob suggests that when looking for a match, it’s always helpful if you generally like and care about people of the other sex, but he’s optimistic even about incels who he thinks are just “one smile from a cute girl away” from tossing their self-defeating ideology in the bin. Stay tuned to the end to hear Jacob’s take on the Barbie movie.

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