In this Crowd Church conversation, Sharon introduces the idea of "covenant dating" — an ancient framework built on shared values, character revealed in the mundane, and the wisdom of community. She also shares the moment she turned down someone she was genuinely attracted to, and why she's never regretted it.

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Ever swiped through a dating app and realised you're browsing people the same way you'd scroll through ASOS? Sharon Edmundson asks what happens when we bring a consumer mindset to dating — and whether an ancient biblical framework might offer something better.

In this Crowd Church Livestream, Sharon (married to Matt for 28 years) unpacks why modern dating leaves so many of us exhausted. With 78% of Gen Z reporting dating app burnout and 65% of young adults in the UK feeling lonely, something clearly isn't working. Sharon traces the problem back to a consumer mindset — swiping, filtering, situationships, impossible checklists — and offers a covenant dating alternative rooted in biblical wisdom.

From Genesis 24's practical principles for finding a partner, to the passionate love poetry of Song of Solomon, to the panel's candid conversation about sexual boundaries and the courage to break things off, this is practical wisdom for anyone navigating modern relationships.

[03:35] Why Dating Feels So Exhausting

Sharon addresses the elephant in the room — why dating has become such a draining experience for so many people.

"With dating apps and the culture around it, it's easy to get into that same consumer mindset and treat people as though they're just products to obtain or fit our requirements."

What we discover:

• Why 78% of Gen Z report dating app burnout
• The four consequences of consumer dating: endless swiping, situationships, impossible checklists, and vulnerability without commitment
• Why dating apps aren't the problem — our mindset is
• How everyone becomes disposable, including us

Key takeaway: The perfect person doesn't exist. And searching for them leaves us exhausted.

[09:06] Every Person Carries the Image of God

Sharon explores what the Bible actually says about how we treat people in romantic relationships.

"According to the Bible, no one is a product to be consumed. We are all image bearers of God, and that gives us worth and value."

What we discover:

• Genesis 1:27 as a starting point — every person carries God's image
• Philippians 2:3-4 — dating shouldn't be about getting our own needs met
• Why this perspective changes how we see every person on every app

Key takeaway: Every person we swipe past carries the image of God. And so do we.

[11:03] The Covenant Dating Mindset

Sharon introduces a radical alternative — dating as the beginning of a covenant process rather than a shopping experience.

"Dating for the Christ follower is about finding a suitable covenant partner to marry — someone with whom you would be able to live out a covenant relationship that honours God and his design for marriage."

Three principles from Genesis 24:

• Choose shared values over shared interests — true faith works itself out in every area of life
• Character is revealed in the mundane — watch how someone behaves when they don't know they're being evaluated
• Get input from others — sometimes a trusted friend sees the red flags we miss

Key takeaway: Commitment and vows came first in biblical covenant. Physical intimacy followed.

[19:46] Grace for the Mess-Ups

Sharon addresses anyone thinking they've already blown it.

"The good news is that when we turn from the way we've been living and turn to him, he's gracious and he's loving and he accepts us with open arms. And that invitation is always open to us."

Key takeaway: You're in good company. We've all blown it in one way or another. The invitation to start fresh is always open.

[21:27] Conversation Street

Matt, Sharon, and Mike discuss the questions and comments from the community, covering everything from whether dating is harder now, to why covenant love isn't transactional, to the courage needed to break off a relationship that isn't right.

Highlights include:

• Matt on the paradox of choice — more options can make us more indecisive, not less
• Mike on how discovering God's love made him less needy and more attractive to date
• Sharon's personal story of saying no to a guy she really liked because their values didn't align
• Matt's observation that loneliness isn't the absence of people — it's the absence of being truly known
• The panel's honest discussion about why the church has sometimes communicated sexual boundaries through shame rather than vision

Key takeaway: If you're in your early twenties and breaking off a relationship feels heartbreaking, your 40-year-old self is thanking you.

For more info, please visit https://crowd.church/talks/dating-isnt-shopping