Mother and daughter Tamala and Althea demonstrate the deep power of family members sticking together and the love necessary to do it. They discuss Tamala's expression of love and commitment to her daughter that came at a particulary vital moment in Althea's life. In the words of Tamala, it's "loving each other in the midst of the storm." They talk about the difference in parenting styles between Althea's father and her, how this has affected Althea and her brother, and how Tamala accepts Althea for who she is. In a beautiful show of an adult daughter's love and understanding for her mother as another woman and human being, Althea tells Tamala, "I want to hear *your* dreams." Is a relationship's strength directly commensurate with the challenges it's faced? Althea and Tamala have a moving and intimate conversation, discussing their love, fath, and trust in one another.

FROM THE EPISODE:

ALTHEA: What do you feel is the most valuable lesson you've taught me. And why do you think that is? 

TAMALA: Oh, I think the most valuable lesson I've taught you is to be comfortable in your own skin and be comfortable with being who you are and what you are. And I say that because of your sexual preference. I feel like you felt like you had to hide that. I think there was a difference of parenting between me and your father. So that was the starting point for me of knowing that it was important to let you know that you needed to really be comfortable with who you are. No matter if the masses didn't agree. 

ALTHEA: I like that. And I appreciate that. I still to this day remember your phone call that morning. You called me and told me that you loved me. You cared about me and wanted to have an open relationship and dialogue about my life and what's going on. And that was a big major step. I want to take further steps into opening up with you about that kind of stuff. And every time I think maybe I can’t, I do revert back to that day that you called me and was like, “Hey…I didn’t know you felt this way but I want you to know I support you and I love you.” So I get it. 

TAMALA: What do you think is the biggest challenge in our relationship right now and how can we overcome it?

ALTHEA: I think that’s the main reason why I brought you here today [to have this conversation]. I think we have great conversations; we can talk all day. We can have an amazing exchange of words, but I think I sometimes see your relationship with my siblings and I wonder, why I can't have that closeness with my mom like that, and I think that just boils down to…it’s just a little bit of fear. I know on my side I'm going to be me regardless of who accepts me or not, but because of the negative energy and pain that I got was from a parental figure. I don't have a lot of room for error when it comes to trusting that figure, especially now being an adult and having had to accept myself when people that were supposed to love me the most were not [accepting]…It takes a little time to shed some of those layers and feel free again, feel open and feel comfortable again. And it's beautiful to watch everyone grow around me and change. And like my pops down here, my step pops, like watching him grow and evolve and everything is beautiful, but I still have to deal with my process a little bit differently. I think that now it's time just to take a step where I'm open and transparent about my process with you and bring you along that part of the journey with me. So that way. I think we can create that space so we can start forming that relationship and that real, genuine, closer bond that I want to have with you. I think there are a lot of things that connect us without us trying, but I think I'm ready to make actual effort in our relationship. 

TAMALA: Adult to adult, because you're an adult now, so yeah. And I'm open for that…

—

To have more meaningful conversations like you hear in this podcast, try {THE AND} Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store