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Here's an intimate conversation between husband and wife Marcela and Rock about the obstacles in their marriage of 7 years. It's a fan favorite in The Skin Deep community. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. It launched The New Yorker digital channel. It's an incredibly powerful conversation — an incredibly profound story with a profound truth. If you've never heard Marcela and Rock you're in for a treat. Trust me.

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What's the value of boundaries in friendship? Alberto and Gaby were friends for a while and Alberto started to develop some romantic feelings. Gaby then set the boundaries and made clear they will be friends and not romantic. That actually deepened the relationship. On top of that, they're also sober buddies. As Alberto says, he's been jumping on and off "the sobriety bandwagon." So they're both navigating that challenging journey of sobriety together. They support each other on that path.

We all have friends in our lives and we're always navigating those friendships. What's the place for boundaries? This conversation illuminates some beautiful ideas around the meaning of friendship, the commitment of friendship, the payoff of friendship, as it walks its way through the experience of life.

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11 years together have given Sala & Danette a loving foundation to navigate their blended family and the opportunity to grow intimately with one another along the way. Drop into their moving conversation as they break down the ethos of their connection and Sala reveals an incredibly important realization around behavioral patterns of abuse that he may have never recognized if it weren’t for Danette.

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Teenage brothers Julian and Thomas only found out they were adopted recently. Growing up together all that time without knowing the truth didn't get in the way of them building a strong sibling bond, and now they're figuring out together what family really means. They're questioning everything, facing some health challenges, and realizing they’ll always have each other. 

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Nicole and Jin are a gender nonconforming couple of trans experience. How are society's labels used against us and how do we allow them to shape us? What is it like to break them? And what do you face when you break them? Nicole and Jin are sharing and supporting each other as they face those challenges. This conversation is incredibly illuminating for those that identify as cisgendered and heteronormative. For those that are gender nonconforming it may reinforce experiences, questions, or feelings they've had. International Transgender Day of Visibility is March 31st and we wanted to share this conversation because it's real, it's raw, and it's honest. It sheds human light on what it means to be transgender today.

FROM THE EPISODE:

NICOLE: My first memory that I liked a lot was when we went to McDonald's bathroom. I'm going to cry. I felt very safe with you. And I liked that we both used the women's bathroom. And I felt really protective of you when you used the bathroom after I did, because there were men giving you stares and I got really pissed that they were looking at you. And I didn't want you to see that...

JIN: Yeah, that was fun. Wasn't it?

NICOLE: How do you describe our relationship to others? 

JIN: Sometimes I like to say that you're my boyfriend...If they ask, I say, "Yeah, I have a boyfriend. He's really cool. He has a lot of tattoos."

NICOLE: That feels good. 

JIN: Yeah, I figured you'd like it.

NICOLE: Do you ever say "girlfriend"?

JIN: No.

NICOLE: Do you ever say "partner"?

JIN: Yeah. Sometimes.

NICOLE: Do you ever say, "My gender nonconforming so-and-so? My trans..."? 

JIN: No, I don't feel like that's super relevant or people don't really need to know...or maybe it's that I don't feel like that's my thing to disclose.

NICOLE: What would you like me to describe you as, when I'm talking to people? I say "girlfriend" or "partner."

JIN: That's fine. Do people see me as a girlfriend? Are you sure? 

NICOLE: I'm like, "Isn't she hot?"

JIN: What do you get from me that you don't get from your other relationships?

NICOLE: I don't get relate-ability on this level...I don't feel reflected in some of my other relationships, meaning the trans part, yeah, we're reflecting each other's lives sometimes. In a way I don't see with like my cis male partners. I feel the femininity portion a lot with you and I also feel...what's the opposite of reflection? I feel like a boy. Not because I think you're a boy, but because I feel like your boy, 

JIN: I like that. 

NICOLE: That feels good. It feels really good. I hate talking about things in this way, but I want to protect you like a boyfriend.

JIN: That's awesome. I think that's cool. I'm a sucker for weirdly internalized patriarchy things, but only in the sense that they make me feel more like a girl. For example, this isn't with you, but with my coworker who is a cis man, he's a little older than me, he's Latin American. So he comes from this machismo sort of experience and certain things that I guess would piss off a typical feminist, he'll just be like, "Hey, mami." Or "Hey, muñeca" and say stuff that's objectifying...it's common sense to be like, "get the f*ck out of here, but at the same time, I kinda I like that. It's weird cognitive dissonance there. Needs some clarifying...

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Mauricio came very close to death. He's recovering from COVID and in this conversation you'll hear his oxygen machine in the background. Because we just passed the one year anniversary of when COVID was declared a pandemic in the US, we're presenting this conversation between Mauricio and his wife of 20 years, Daysi. 

This is somebody whose wife thought he was going to close his eyes for the last time. You'll hear him confess how he spoke to his god and you'll be surprised to hear what came up for him in those last moments. You'll hear what his wife experienced and how she reacted to this experience of facing death and not knowing if her husband would live. It's an honor and a privilege for us that Daysi and Mauricio trusted us and stepped into this space to share their experience.

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In honor of Women's History Month, here's two unashamedly strong women: mother and daughter, Dorian and Tyla. How honest can you be with your parents? How honest can you be with your children? 18-year-old Tyla has an extremely honest mother — often she thinks Dorian is TOO honest. Dorian says she has a commitment to being truthful, and not "sugar-coating," putting on a face, or playing a role, which she feels doesn't serve anyone, especially her daughter. It's easy to forget just how hard parenting is. Nobody hands you a manual. So you have to use love, respect, and compassion to fumble your way through.

TYLA: What is our greatest misunderstanding and what can we do about it?

DORIAN: My delivery. But I'm honest. The truth is the truth. Whether you sugarcoat it or whether you just bluntly say it. 

TYLA: But people listen more...

DORIAN: No they don't.

TYLA: I would.

DORIAN: No you don't. There are instances where I'm like, "Tyla, could you do this?" or "I suggest this" and you're like, "BUT MOM! I DON'T WANNA DO THIS" So I'm like, "the hell with it." And then I'll be mean and the brutally honest part comes out and that's the part that sticks with you for a few days. But when I was trying to be nice?

TYLA: You make me feel so insecure.

DORIAN: But I don't mean to. This world is hard, you're going to get your feelings hurt. I feel like why not hurt them first? I don't want to, but I say things in my honest opinion... I love you. I love you to death but not everybody's going to love you. People are going to give you their honest opinion and at least you'll be prepared. But I'll work on it.

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To honor International Women's Day, we explored our "database of human conversations" that we make accessible to everyone and highlighted moments exploring womanhood. These are parts of conversations uplifting and supporting women, reflecting on the power of women, and articulating the experience of being a woman. We're presenting this bonus episode on womanhood as a recognition and acknowledgement of the powerful women that surround us.

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Sarah and Jose are a married couple in Texas. Jose is an EMT, a firefighter, and a policeman. Texas recently experienced the worst storm in three decades: 4.5 million homes and businesses left without power, and (as of this recording) 70 deaths reported, half of which were in Texas. The sudden demand for heat overloaded the power grid, causing rolling blackouts and leaving people without power amidst freezing temperatures. Sarah and Jose's power was out for five days and you’ll hear the couple discussing the challenges that faced their relationship because of this experience and the stress and fear Sara faces generally because of Jose's work as a first responder.

FROM THE EPISODE:

[JOSE] When have you been the most worried for my safety and why?

[SARAH] Everyday you'd been on shift. You're obviously a firefighter, a paramedic, and a police officer. And, in your department, you respond in all three capacities in whichever you're needed... 135 people had just been in a wreck, a few days prior. And another officer in the next town over had just been killed on the highway while working a wreck. And so I know that you had worked a dozen wrecks at that point, and I was just worried that somebody speeding or not paying attention would plow into you while you're trying to assist another wreck. Or, if you're responding in your medical capacity or providing traffic control — I was terrified, because how many times has your fire apparatus been struck in a year? How many officers are killed on the highway? And so it was terrifying, stressful. So I have been the most worried about you in the last two weeks. But maybe not as much as when you got hurt in the fire…but firefighter wife was worried last year, cop wife was worried the last two weeks... 

Then you're working on a wreck and you're working both as a paramedic and a cop at the same time. And you're trying to go and move your unit and you end up hurting yourself...because reckless people are out there speeding, knowing that the roads are frozen, putting your life in danger and their lives in danger and everybody else's lives in danger. And I get...that phone call of, “Hey, babe, I’m okay but I'm going to the hospital”...I've had this call how many times? 

[JOSE] I think I'm just accident prone, unfortunately. I did tell you everything was fine. Better to get a call from me then one of my chiefs or someone else. I wanna be the one that called you. I figured that would be better than the last time, which was the hospital having to call you and then a follow-up from my fellow officers calling you to keep you posted and let you know that I was okay but you were gonna need to go down there and probably be fairly quick in arriving at the hospital. No, I understand the stress level. 

[SARAH] In therapy, I had talked about…preparing for that phone call and we prepared for that phone call for two years. I still got the phone call and I was still so under-prepared emotionally to get that call and then to physically make the drive to you. I couldn't even think straight. I literally called every police department on my way to you. “I need a police escort.” I'm sure they thought I was crazy. Even thinking about that day… it’s a lot. 

[JOSE] So do you think that regarding this week, with the snow and ice, your anxiety level was higher because you had already experienced that phone call and you didn't want to experience that again? or do you think you're maybe more prepared? “If I get this phone call again, this is what I need to do.” Almost like a checklist.

[SARAH]They’re just so different. They were different because I knew that you were eventually going to be okay last year. This year it was the unknown.

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Tommi and Lisette used to be lovers and still live together — even though they've broken up. In this conversation, Tommi admits to Lisette she's dating someone new now and it's serious. Lisette tells Tommi she's moving out and leaving town. They both want each other to be happy and their respect and honesty is evident during this tough, sometimes uncomfortable, but ultimately loving interaction.

FROM THE EPISODE:

TOMMI: Describe the moment you realized that you could trust me.

LISETTE: What comes to mind is, as we built our foundation long distance, obviously we did a lot of talking and getting to know one another. I think when I shared with you something I experienced as a kid when I was babysitting and the way you responded was not what I expected and nonjudgmental and very comforting. I was like, wow, if I could tell you that and you respond the way you did and it doesn't change the way you feel about me… That was huge. 

TOMMI: That was a big moment. So disclosure in that way: I remember that for sure and I remember thinking, “Oh, she trusts me. “

LISETTE: What about me?

TOMMI: You’ve told me some things that were uncomfortable and that's probably…when I think about our relationship and trust, our trust — for me — has been built in those situations where the hard stuff had to be said. Even with the break-up, it's a prime example. It's doesn't feel good, but it's honest. So you remember when you shared that you had that experience? You remember that experience with two other people? I was like, “okay, so she's not going to hide, she’s going to tell the truth, and she's going to run the risk of that being uncomfortable.” And we have to wade through that. So I remember that was a big one for me now. It was like, “At least she’s honest.” You’re not hiding things. 

LISETTE: If you could go back to our first date, what advice would you give me regarding being in a relationship with you? 

TOMMI: I guess the advice that I would give you is what you did: which was keep trust and honesty at the foundation, because if that's not there, then we really don't have anything. That's the advice I would give and you did well — that a girl. 

LISETTE: Thank you. I would tell you, I would tell you to go super slow and to be a little cautious because I was so new to exploring my sexuality and I wasn't quite ready. And I do remember telling you when we were on the beach, when you brought it up for the second time about being in a relationship, that I didn't want to do long distance and I wasn't quite ready. But I really liked you and I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity, so let's do it.

TOMMI: Are you glad we did?

LISETTE: I am. I actually don't have regret. I'm sad about where we are now. Who knows how it would have transpired if I would have been completely honest with you and followed my inner voice, but I don't regret anything. 

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