Us Illuminated: {THE AND}

She Tells Her Ex There's a New Woman


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Tommi and Lisette used to be lovers and still live together — even though they've broken up. In this conversation, Tommi admits to Lisette she's dating someone new now and it's serious. Lisette tells Tommi she's moving out and leaving town. They both want each other to be happy and their respect and honesty is evident during this tough, sometimes uncomfortable, but ultimately loving interaction.
FROM THE EPISODE:
TOMMI: Describe the moment you realized that you could trust me.
LISETTE: What comes to mind is, as we built our foundation long distance, obviously we did a lot of talking and getting to know one another. I think when I shared with you something I experienced as a kid when I was babysitting and the way you responded was not what I expected and nonjudgmental and very comforting. I was like, wow, if I could tell you that and you respond the way you did and it doesn't change the way you feel about me… That was huge. 
TOMMI: That was a big moment. So disclosure in that way: I remember that for sure and I remember thinking, “Oh, she trusts me. “
LISETTE: What about me?
TOMMI: You’ve told me some things that were uncomfortable and that's probably…when I think about our relationship and trust, our trust — for me — has been built in those situations where the hard stuff had to be said. Even with the break-up, it's a prime example. It's doesn't feel good, but it's honest. So you remember when you shared that you had that experience? You remember that experience with two other people? I was like, “okay, so she's not going to hide, she’s going to tell the truth, and she's going to run the risk of that being uncomfortable.” And we have to wade through that. So I remember that was a big one for me now. It was like, “At least she’s honest.” You’re not hiding things. 
LISETTE: If you could go back to our first date, what advice would you give me regarding being in a relationship with you? 
TOMMI: I guess the advice that I would give you is what you did: which was keep trust and honesty at the foundation, because if that's not there, then we really don't have anything. That's the advice I would give and you did well — that a girl. 
LISETTE: Thank you. I would tell you, I would tell you to go super slow and to be a little cautious because I was so new to exploring my sexuality and I wasn't quite ready. And I do remember telling you when we were on the beach, when you brought it up for the second time about being in a relationship, that I didn't want to do long distance and I wasn't quite ready. But I really liked you and I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity, so let's do it.
TOMMI: Are you glad we did?
LISETTE: I am. I actually don't have regret. I'm sad about where we are now. Who knows how it would have transpired if I would have been completely honest with you and followed my inner voice, but I don't regret anything. 
To have more meaningful conversations like you hear in this podcast, try {THE AND} Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store
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Us Illuminated: {THE AND}By The Skin Deep