Daughters of Eve

Ever get tired of doing more than your fair share?! Annoyed that others aren’t pulling their weight?! Feel like it’s your responsibility to make sure others are “okay”?! Yeah, me too.

Take the quiz below to see if you, too, have let some unhealthy ways of being sneak up on you.

If you answer “Yup, that’s me!” to two or more of the items on this list … you’re in good company … unfortunately.

•  I usually take care of others’ needs before my own.
• My only hobbies include others (husband, children, etc.)
• Their mood = My mood.
• Sometimes I fear being alone without someone else.
• I feel most comfortable being The Giver.
• I wonder why others don’t give to me in the same way I give.
• My “To Do List” is HUGE.
• I want to slow down, but there never seems to be enough time.
• Quiet time with God? I wish.
• It’s my job to make sure others are happy.

Well … how’d you do?

If those statements hit home—like they do with me—there’s a woman in the Bible to whom we can both relate.

Martha, Martha.

We all know the story, and may have even gotten a little tired of hearing Bible studies about Martha and her busy, busy life.

So, let’s do something different today.

Let’s quickly run through the story and then have some fun with it … and ourselves.

The story in Luke starts out as we learn Martha has invited Jesus and His disciples into her house. Let’s look quickly at a few things here …

First, we don’t know how many disciples that included—was it just Jesus? Was it the twelve? Or more? Afterall, a few verses earlier Jesus had sent seventy-two of his disciples out on a mission, and they had all just returned.  Luke doesn’t spell out how many people Martha had just invited into her home. Had I been recording this event, I would have mentioned that fact, it’s important … but Luke—a man—is telling this story.

A second interesting thing is that Martha appears to be the head of the household.

That’s unusual.

It probably made 1st century hearers sit up and say, “Huh?!”

If you were a woman living during this time, you would have been married off in your teens, with your father deciding who you married. Your life expectancy was twenty-five years old, assuming you survived pregnancy; a woman’s death at child birth was not uncommon. And infant mortality was high. Given these circumstances, second and third marriages were quite normal. But marriage, for a woman, was inevitable and expected.

Martha seems to be both single and the head of her house.

She is, to say the least, uncommon.

We can also glean from the story that Martha and Mary were not wealthy. Had they been wealthy, Martha would not have been doing the cooking, that would have been the job of servants or slaves.

As the story is related, Mary immediately sat down to listen to Jesus. It seems likely there were other disciples as she found her place among them. Because Luke tells us specifically that Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, Luke is telling us Mary took the position of a disciple as she sat to learn from her rabbi.

Again, 1st century listeners would have been uncomfortable with that bit of revelation.

Men sat at the feet of rabbis.

Women did not.

Martha, the story continues, was busy—too busy. She was distracted … over-occupied.  The Greek word has it’s root in another word meaning “to drag all around.” Isn’t that the perfect description? Martha wasn’t managing her life, her life was managing her.

“Lord,” she says, “Isn’t it concerning to you that my sister has left me alone to do all the serving. Tell her to help me.”

Notice Martha doesn’t speak to Mary directly. She acquiesces to the authority of the present rabbi and speaks to Him. Mary is neglecting her duty and violating a clear social boundary, she is acting like a man and bringing shame to her house. Martha’s protest is justifiable.

No doubt Martha was exhausted by this time. I hardly think she approached Jesus after serving the first plate of figs and cheese. And she’d probably already tried getting her sister’s attention with subtle eye gestures and sighs.

She was trying to be good … trying to fulfill her role—or what she thought was her role.

But the story continues as we come to the famous line by Jesus,

“Martha, Martha…”  

What was the tone of voice Jesus used here? How have you imagined Jesus said her name?

Have you imagined it to be a rebuke? A scolding as to a young child? Maybe annoyed? Exasperated at the least?

I did.

I mean, who repeats a name unless they are a bit aggravated? 

Well … turns out I was wrong.

Scripture is full of stories where a name was repeated.

And every time in Scripture that a name is repeated, it is in the context of intimacy. Not sexual intimacy. Rather, it is an expression of tenderness, gentleness, and affection in a relationship.

Repeating a person’s name is a Hebrew expression of love and care.

“When God speaks to Abraham at Mount Moriah, as he is about to plunge the knife into the breast of Isaac, God says, ‘Abraham, Abraham.’” God called to Moses from the burning bush, “Moses, Moses,” or God’s call to little Samuel in the night, “Samuel, Samuel.” “Simon, Simon,” Jesus says to Peter. “My God, my God,” is Jesus’ cry on the cross and “Martha, Martha” is Jesus’ tender response to an intimate friend.

No rebuke. No shame. No “You should know better.”

Just gentleness and love.

Jesus doesn’t care about food … He cares about Martha’s heart. His response shows that.

Jesus gently helps her to see that she is anxious.

Pulled in different directions.

Troubled … about many things. Not just the present meal situation.

Martha is distracted and divided.

Then Jesus gently teaches her, “There is only one thing needed…” One thing worth her time and attention. One thing that is absolutely necessary for life. One.

The story concludes with Jesus pointing out that Mary—Mary who is sitting in the male-only position of a disciple—has made a choice.

The right choice.

There is no division or distraction in her. She has chosen Jesus … simply being with Jesus … even when there are other things on her “To Do List” … even when there are other expectations on her time and energies … even when she should be doing something else (or at least other people think she should be doing something else) … even when …

Another interesting thing to note about our story is its location within the Gospel of Luke. Immediately before our account of Martha is the parable Jesus told about the good Samaritan. Luke put two stories back-to-back which would have turned the stomach of a 1st century Jewish man upside-down. In the parable of the good Samaritan, the reviled and loathed Samaritan acts more godly than multiple Jews. Then a disregarded and overlooked woman—Mary—chooses Jesus and is applauded and protected as she sits at the feet of Jesus. A woman. A Samaritan. An upside-down kingdom. Marginalized persons become the heroes and demonstrate loving God and loving neighbor. And interestingly, the “good” man serves, the “good” woman does not serve.

As our story continues, I have wondered at times why Jesus continues by saying Mary’s choice, “…will not be taken away from her.” Was he clarifying to Martha He would not be honoring her request to get Mary up off her feet to help? Was He looking at the other male disciples and letting them know women were welcome at His feet?” Or, perhaps looking at an anxious Mary who was not sure what to do and letting her know she could relax, that she had chosen well?

The Gospel of John tells us that Jesus loved Martha and Mary and their brother Lazarus. And this day, to Martha, you can almost see the tender look in the eyes of Jesus as perhaps He reaches out a hand and says,

Come. Come to my side. Come and learn. Come and rest.

I’ve created a podcast you can download and listen to … an experience in imaginative prayer with this story of Martha and Jesus. I have found this approach very helpful and wanted to encourage you to give it try.

You can start right now or plan a time in future. Finding a place in which you will not be disturbed is critical. You may need to go to the library with headphones on, or your church, or lock the door to your bedroom. But, you’ll need about thirty minutes for our time together. Once you find that sanctuary for yourself, get comfortable and start the recording below. I will be eager to hear how it goes for you, or if this kind of activity is helpful and you’d like more.

Click here for link to Martha Guided Prayer

Resources used:
Co-dependent list adapted from Pin by Diva Verdun, Retrieved 8/3/20 from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/365002744776366794
New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary
Repeating Names. Bible.org
Tabletalk, April, 1990, p. 18
Women in the World of the Earliest Christians, by Lynn Cohick

Cover Picture:  Italian artist Vincenzo Campi, 16th century
(Looking for Jesus and Mary? Look in the upper left corner.)

I don’t know about you, but my mental picture of creation has always been full of mighty winds, enormous waves crashing, maybe even some lightening and thunder. I’m not sure where that image came from … but my picture was full of turbulence and upheaval. How have you always imagined creation?

Quite contrary to my image, however … thankfully … is the picture God gives us in Genesis.

“And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”

I’m not sure where to start with this passage … it’s full of so many surprising and fantastically unforeseen discoveries about God!

In the last post we looked at the Hebrew word for Spirit of God and learned it was a feminine word. We also began to understand the ramifications of the fact that the Spirit—God—is described in the feminine. So, let’s begin today’s discoveries on the basic level of grammar.

If the idea of the Spirit as feminine seems questionable or difficult to swallow, Hebrew grammar helps us out by confirming the fact for us. “In Hebrew, verbs have gender and number, and every verb must agree with its subject in gender and number. Therefore, feminine singular nouns must take a feminine singular verb form.”

You guessed it; hovering is in the feminine singular form—agreeing with its subject—Spirit of God—it’s that simple. (Not sure why I haven’t heard much about this fact, however … hmm.)

Another interesting fact is that contrary to the Old Testament portrayals of God, neighboring ancient Near Eastern cultures divided their gods into distinctly male gods and female gods. Our God—introduced to us in creation—encompasses both genders and neither gender. Our God is beyond gender and inclusive of both genders right from the start.

And here’s the part I love …

While studying the word “hovering” I learned it’s not really hovering in the sense of an eerie floating spirit moving ghostlike over the waters. Rather … and listen closely … hovering is more correctly translated with words like: move gently, relax, to grow soft, cherish, and brood!

This is a maternal word—it’s a mother’s word!

It’s the same word Moses uses to describe God’s actions, “Like an eagle that protects her chicks and hovers over her young” (Deut. 32:11). It is the image of a bird protecting and nurturing new life that is forming under her!

The creation story in Genesis seems to want us to know that the earth is receiving the gentle maternal care of God!

It’s a story of God’s tenderness and loving presence!

It’s a story of motherly devotion as a new world is being formed beneath Her!

But there’s more…

The Hebrew word for water, mah-yim, begins and ends with the letter Mem. (Hebrew is read right to left.) In its closed form the mem symbolizes pregnancy and its open form it symbolizes birth; you can see the open and closed mem below.

מַיִם – water

Let’s put some things together…

We have the following words describing creation—formless, darkness, deep waters, the feminine word for God—is this sounding like a birth story to you?

Waters—birthing waters—something beautiful being created.

Water, in Scripture, is often symbolic of birth and rebirth. Noah’s flood waters were a new birth for the earth. When passing through the waters of the Red Sea, the nation of Israel was reborn. And baptism?… perhaps we ought to more accurately look at the waters of baptism as birthing waters! As we emerge from the waters of baptism (in whatever form they are given), it demonstrates our re-birth. We are now children of God … born of God … birthing waters.

Giving birth is not an unusual image for God in Scripture. Isaiah tells us God says, “But now, like a woman in labor, I will cry and groan and pant” (Isa 42.14). John tells us those who believe are children of God “… born not of flesh … but born of God” (Jn 1:13).

It is God who brings forth life … who labors to bring forth new life!

It’s not about body parts or reproductive functions. “Feminine energy is connected with fertility, but again, doesn’t need to be reduced to human reproduction. Growth, whether it’s spiritual, physical, or emotional, celebrates a feminine energy in that we give life to something that was not there before.”

So, if Scripture is God’s self-revelation … helping us to better understand and be in relationship with God, then what do you think God wants us to understand from this passage? What is it about God that is so important it is revealed to us in the very first verses of the entire Bible?

Here’s what I think …

The creation story is a love story!

It’s a true love story as our God gently sways, hovering, rocking back and forth, cradling this newly born creation—earth.

I believe Scripture is clearly teaching us there is a tender side to God that only the metaphor of a mother can reveal. Motherhood, the feminine, they do not define God; these similes just give us a better way to understand the whole character of our God.

I believe the creation story is in Scripture not only to tell us how our world was created, but perhaps more importantly, to help us know that as part of that creation, we are loved. We are coddled in the warm and caring arms of God—like those of a mother who looks into the eyes of her newborn and smiles.

If this information is new to you, it’s worth asking why? Why haven’t you or I heard this before? Why haven’t we been taught about the Spirit of God, about hovering, about waters of new life?

Whether you’ve thought about these traits of God before or not, I encourage you to share these insights about the whole character of God with someone else … maybe the next time you’re teaching Sunday school … maybe with your small group … your children or grandchildren … your pastor … anybody … so that others don’t have to ask why they have never heard about the feminine in God.

Creation—it’s a love story.

We are loved. God is the lover.

It is good to be wanted.

It is good to be loved.

.

NOTE:

“In Hebrew, verbs have gender…” Feminine Singular Nouns (hebrew4christians.com)
“The Hebrew word for water, mah-yim…” Mikveh, Water and Higher Consciousness | Reclaiming Judaism
“Feminine energy is connected with fertility, What Is The Divine Feminine? (thegoodtrade.com)

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.”

If you prefer listening to the podcast … click below and enjoy!

Four years in a Biblical Studies major … three years in a Masters of Divinity degree … and sixty years of hearing sermons … and not once was it even hinted that the “Spirit” in Genesis 1:2 is feminine!

WAIT! … WHAT?! … FEMININE?!

Sounds a little crazy! A little … uh … unorthodox?

I agree.

Or, at least I did, until I started digging.

But, let’s start at the beginning.

WAIT! … WHAT?! … FEMININE?!

Let’s start with a word study. The Hebrew word for “spirit,” as in Spirit of God, can (and is) also translated “breath” or “wind” – like in the story of the plagues of Egypt, “So Moses stretched out his staff over the land of Egypt, and the LORD brought an east wind upon the land… (Ex 10:13). Or as at Pentecost, “And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind… And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:2,4).

In addition, nouns in Hebrew have a gender: masculine or feminine, there is no gender-neutral “it” as in English. At times the gender makes sense. For example, the words aunt and daughter are feminine; whereas uncle and son are masculine. Then, again, sometimes an object and its gender don’t seem to have any connection, as in the words list and experience, which are both feminine nouns. Or, house and word which are masculine.

But where does this leave us with the Spirit of God?

It seems we have two options.

Either the fact that the Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit is a feminine noun means nothing … or … it means everything. Which, in either case, is hugely important!

Let me explain. If I said to you in Hebrew, “I’m making a list” and the Hebrew word for list is feminine, there is nothing about the list that is particularly feminine. The fact that the word list is a feminine noun tells me nothing about the list. Sometimes, it seems, the gender of a noun is irrelevant. There is nothing innately feminine about an experience (feminine word). Nor is there anything distinctively masculine about a house (masculine word). In the same way, the fact that the Hebrew word for the Spirit is feminine could be totally insignificant, telling me nothing about the character or essence of God.

However, if we say the gender of a noun describing God is irrelevant, then we must apply that fact to all Hebrew nouns describing God, we can’t just pick and choose. For example, if the feminine noun Spirit does not infer anything feminine in or about God, so too, a noun used for God that is masculine does not infer anything masculine in or about God.

Genesis 1:1 starts out, “In the beginning God…” The Hebrew word used for God here is “Elohim”—masculine. With the logic we’ve just used, the fact that Elohim is a masculine noun is irrelevant and does not suppose anything masculine about the character or essence of God.

On the other side of the argument, however, there may be times when it is very important to use a feminine or masculine noun. It makes sense, for example, that mother and aunt are feminine nouns, and son and uncle are masculine.

The noun’s gender seems extraneous when applied to a thing, as in book or table. But the noun’s gender seems to be logical, appropriate, and informative when it is applied to a person, as in aunt or uncle.

God is a Person!

The noun used for a person tells us not just whether they are male or female; it provides us with information into the essence of the person. There is something innately different about men and women—how they perceive life, what they value, how they go about relationships. We could have quite a discussion about what those differences are, but I think everyone would agree that generally women and men perceive and go about life differently. One is not better than the other—just different. 

God
is a
Person!

Therefore, if the noun used to describe God—in this case the Spirit of God—is feminine, we can be assured there is something intrinsically female about God!

So, which is it? Is the gender of the noun used for God important or not?

After extensive study here’s where I’ve come down … I believe both options are true and significant when it comes to God.

On the one hand God is, obviously, beyond our understanding and comprehension. And to state that the gender of a God-noun is important doesn’t even make sense. God is not female or male. But remember that it is important to be consistent. If we say the feminine God-noun doesn’t mean anything, then we must also say the masculine God-noun means nothing as well. God is beyond all description. When we start trying to define God in human terms, we get in trouble. It’s like trying to contain God in a box—built by our own hand—for our own comfort.

On the other hand, the fact that the personhood of God—a member of the Trinity—is given a feminine name is outrageous! There is obviously something significant about the Spirit of God being feminine. Significant enough that right from the start Scripture loudly proclaims femaleness to be inherent in God!

I’m not talking about putting our own culturally-assigned ideas of female and male onto God. And we’re certainly not talking about physical characteristics.  

We are talking about God.

And we are talking about the fact that there is something deep—world changing—going on here when a word for God is in the feminine … something s.t.a.g.g.e.r.i.n.g.l.y profound!

The fact that Elohim is a masculine Hebrew noun and Spirit is a feminine Hebrew noun should make you want to shout! Shout because our God is indescribable! Uncontainable! Beyond!  And—as a woman—I hope you shout because of the freedom and power it brings you to know that God made sure the entire world knew part of the essence and nature of our God is feminine!

I hope it also raises some questions. Questions like … Why haven’t I known this before? What is my current mental picture of God? Is it accurate or a bit out-of-balance? What is God’s invitation to me in this? And, I’d be happy to correspond with you about any of your questions, just click on “Contact” for an email link.

Male and female—created in the image of God.

Keep an eye out for the NEXT POST as we continue our study of the Spirit of God!

Forward THIS post to a friend…

I’m excited to share another podcast with you … great to listen to while walking or driving!

(For those of you who prefer reading as opposed to listening,
the full transcript and pictures are below.)

“You can do anything you want in life,” my father used to tell me. He affirmed the theory of biblical egalitarianism*—which was unusual for a man born in the early 20th century.  Practically, however, he ruled the roost, and no other thoughts or opinions were allowed—confusing messages growing up. But it’s probably the reason I went to seminary in 1981 joining a predominately male student body. And also the reason why it took me another three decades to internalize the feminine side of God.

“Father,” “He,” “Him”—words strewn throughout song lyrics … male pronouns added to Scripture where none exist in the Hebrew or Greek … sermons highlighting only the masculinity of God. They are words that have became points of both personal anger and sadness. Anger, not because the image of God as father is wrong, nor because male pronouns are used when speaking of God. The irritation arose because the Church only describes God as father … and only uses male pronouns.

Sadness follows as I realize no one—adult or child—is getting an accurate image of God. We are getting distortions … misrepresentations … a false and untrue picture of God.

Christians are subtly, and not so subtly, being schooled in the image of a solely male God.

The portrayal of an exclusively male God, I believe, is why gender disparity in all its forms continues to exist worldwide.

It is why #MeToo exists. It is why girls in Thailand are used and thrown away in dark brothels. It is why the word femicide was coined. And why in many churches women are not allowed to collect the offering, let alone preach the sermon.

Femicide:
“The misogynous killing of women by men motivated by hatred, contempt, pleasure,
or a sense of ownership,
rooted in historically unequal power relations between women and men.”

But are we so naïve as to think a clear disdain for women would not be the result when most of Christianity—consciously or unconsciously—teaches, quite frankly, that the greatest power of all has a penis?

Confronting the image of a solely male-gendered God is, I believe, what will finally change the system, the Church, and the world. For who could scorn a woman if churches taught God is like a woman who lost a coin as often as they taught God is like a good shepherd?  And who would dare to condescend to a woman if we are taught that we are looking into the face of God.

Male and female … made in the image.

Imagine the difference it would make if our congregations heard sermons about the motherliness of God—other than just on Mother’s Day. 

Or what about the one in four women who have been sexually abused; what if these women heard about a God other than one referred to solely as male. Injured, battered, and mistreated women could risk intimacy with this kind of God.

Envision little girls sitting tall in Sunday school as the stories of Biblical heroines are taught alongside the heroes. Imagine the little boys hearing that God is like a woman giving birth.  It’s my bet that the girls would grow into confident women … the boys into respectful men. And the world would change.

Personally, I’m still in the process—still trying to transform my own patriarchal images of God. It has taken years of in-depth Scriptural study to replace the icon of a white-bearded man with an image of a solid rock … or a bear … a warrior … or a strong, vibrant, and tender woman.

They are endless, these feminine images of God—these images that plainly and unmistakably erase the faulty thinking of a male-only God.

These varied depictions of God can make us uncomfortable.

But that’s a good thing.

For it is God who has given us this overabundance of images—both father and mother—so that we might better understand the unplumbed and immeasurableness of our God.

Is fear what keeps us tied to one image? Usually fear leads to control … to a batten-down-the-hatches kind of control … to a “We have God neatly tied up in this little box, thank you very much.”

Have we allowed the church to turn God into a mockery—an absurd misrepresentation? It is uncomfortable to let God be God on God’s terms … we’re not in control any longer!

But our God isn’t fond of boxes.

It is heresy to teach only one image of God.  “The Bible’s inclusion of so many figures for God is both an invitation and a caution,” says author Lauren Winner, “The invitation is to discovery: discovery of who God is, and what our friendship with God might become. The caution is against assuming that any one image of God, whatever truth it holds, adequately describes God.”

This excess of images was given to draw us closer—deeper in love.  

God woos with many voices, many images, many metaphors—speaking to each of us in a language of love … in a language we can understand.

I have experienced this love recently—this desire from God to be close—and it has come by way of this plethora of metaphors. I have felt the comfort of wings … the safety of a shield … the protection of a father … and the warmth of a mother’s hug—all God.  

Exploring our multi-faceted God has expanded, amplified God in my life, thrown open the box and brought freedom. And that, according to Jesus, is why God became incarnate … to set us free.

TRY AN EXPERIMENT…

Here are a couple of fun experiments you can play around with for the next month that will help you assess your own indoctrination into an all-male God.

—Try speaking about God without using any pronouns. It will probably feel awkward … but that’s the point … God is not describable with mere words.

—One of the things I enjoy doing is the ancient spiritual practice of personalizing Scripture, which both removes the male pronouns and helps me internalize the Word of God. For example Psalm 91:3b in the New Living Translation reads: “He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him.” (A first note on this verse is that in the Hebrew there is only one male pronoun, not three.) Here’s how I prayerfully meditate on this verse: You alone are my refuge, my place of safety; You are my God and I trust You. Obviously, I’m not actually rewriting Scripture, I’m personalizing the words to make them my own prayer to God. It can be quite powerful.

Try one and let me know what you think!

NOTES:
*Christian egalitarianism (derived from the French word égal, meaning equal or level ), also known as biblical equality, is egalitarianism based in Christianity. In theological spheres, egalitarianism generally means equality in authority and responsibilities between genders, in contrast to complementarianism. Retrieved 12/1/20 from: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_egalitarianism
*Femicide. Retrieved 7/29/20 from: https://blogforarizona.net/femicide-the-murder-of-women-and-girls-who-stepped-off-the-plantation-or-didnt/
“The Bible’s inclusion of so many figures for God…”: Lauren F. Winner, Wearing God (New York: HarperCollins, 2015), 8

I’m excited to share another podcast with you … great to listen to while walking or driving!

(For those of you who prefer reading as opposed to listening,
the full transcript and pictures are below.)

Here’s something I bet you haven’t notice about Jesus … at least, I hadn’t until just the other day!

I was lying in bed the other night (which is usually when insights seem to come), I sat up, turned on the light, and started thinking through all the miracles of Jesus.

Here’s the surprising—and delightful thing I discovered.

There were numerous miracle stories of men who pursued Jesus—specifically asking Him for healing.  Here are a few …

Two blind men “followed along behind Him, shouting, ‘Son of David, have mercy on us!’” (Matthew 9:27)

When Bartimaeus heard Jesus was nearby, he began to shout … [when the crowd tried to quiet him] he only shouted louder, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’” (Mark 10:47-48)

“When the man saw Jesus, he bowed to the ground, begging to be healed…” (Luke 5:12)

“As He entered a village, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!’” (Luke 17:11)

There were other men … a Roman officer came pleading; a synagogue leader imploring; another two blind men begging, and so on.

But the women …

The women did not come asking, begging, or shouting. 

In fact, the women didn’t come to Jesus for healing at all.

Was it the culture? The expectation that women should be silent—not seen?

Here are some of the women’s stories …

“Jesus was teaching in a synagogue, He saw a woman who had been crippled … Jesus called her over and said, ‘Woman, you are healed…’” (Luke 13:10-12)

“When the Lord saw her [the widow of Nain who had just lost her son], His heart overflowed with compassion … He walked over to the coffin … ‘Young man,’ He said, ‘I tell you, get up.’” (Luke 7:13-14)

The closest any woman gets to an out-right request for healing was the woman with the issue of blood who snuck up behind Jesus—hoping not to be seen, but simply touch the fringe of His garment (Mt 9:19f). 

Or the Syro-Phoenician, a woman enjoying different cultural expectations, who came to seek healing, not for herself, but for her daughter.

The men sought Jesus out … they pleaded, they shouted, they begged at his feet.

But the women—their culture did not allow such forthrightness, such a public display of their presence.

And if Jesus were a good rabbi in His day, He would not have noticed the women. He would definitely not have talked to the women.

We get a glimpse of this cultural pressure on Jesus several times in Scripture, two obvious examples: When the Syro-Phoenician woman approaches Jesus, the disciples say in annoyance, “Tell her to go away … she’s bothering us” (Mt 15:23), and when the disciples saw Jesus actually having a conversation with a woman at a well “They were shocked to find him talking to a woman…” (Jn 4:27).

But Jesus—our loving, pursuing, culture-shattering, rule-breaking Lord—noticed the women.

He bid them into relationship, conversation, and friendship.

Jesus called to the woman who was bent over. Held the longest theological discussion in the Bible with the woman at the well. Invited Mary Magdalene, Susanna, Joanna, and many other women to follow Him. And sought a friendship with Martha and Mary.

As Middle Eastern expert and author Kenneth Bailey states, with Jesus “the social ‘separation wall’ between men and women is destroyed.”

But, what does this mean for you and me today?

I think it means, as my mother used to tell me, “Stand up tall and be proud you’re a woman!” I think it means that in God’s eyes women—you and me—are full participants, leaders, warriors, peace-makers, and disciples. And that nothing and no one has the authority to say otherwise.

But more importantly, we see in Jesus’ behavior not just a desire for relationship with women … what we see is an intentional pursuing—a seeking out and a deliberate engaging with women.  A “going the extra mile,” if you will, in order to be present to the women.

Jesus is purposefully calling us. Calling us to deeper intimacy. To wholeness. To healing.

As we move into the Thanksgiving season, be thankful; but set aside some specific times to be alone and to be with God.

Just as Jesus invited the women around Him to move in closer, so He invites you. No—not just invites—but calls you nearer … seeks out time with you … engages in conversation.  Jesus yearns for time together.

It is in time together that healing happens … that the soul restoring strength is given … and our invitation to freedom is received.

So, where is it you need healing this season? What’s the miracle you would ask for? Where do you need peace? Freedom?

Jesus is standing with open arms and a gentle voice calling to you—a woman—assuring you it is safe in His arms. That you are wanted. You are loved. And that a miracle awaits.

Join us and spread the word as we discover more about God and women! Sign up with your email below…

Notes
>The Encounter by Daniel Cariola, Magdela, Duc In Altum, Migdal, Israel. Retrieved from: https://www.magdala.org/duc-in-altum/
>The Healing of the Blind Men, by Ilyās Bāsim Khūrī Bazzī Rāhib, 1684, Walters Art Museum. Retrieved from: https://iconsandimagery.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-month-of-miracles-part-10-jesus-heals.html
>The Woman with the Blood Flow, mosaic. Basilica of Sant’Apollinare, Nuovo. Italy. 6th Century. Retrieved from: Itahttps://inpress.lib.uiowa.edu/feminae/DetailsPage.aspx?Feminae_ID=37579
>Icon, The Widow of Nain, Author Unknown. Retrieved from: https://paucaverba.blogspot.com/2013/05/christ-raising-widows-son-at-nain.html
>Jesus, The Woman Bent Over, and the Leader of the Synagogue as Munch’s ‘The Screamer’, by Glenda Skinner-Noble. Retrieved from: https://glendaskinner-noble.blogspot.com/
>Christ in the House of Martha and Mary by Tintoretto, Italy, 1570. Retrieved from: https://www.wikiart.org/en/tintoretto/christ-with-mary-and-martha
>First Day in Heaven by Kerolos Safwa, Egypt. Retrieved from: http://www.city-data.com/forum/christianity/2901616-first-day-heaven.html

Have you ever listened to a sermon on denying yourself—putting others first—and found yourself quietly mumbling, “Deny myself?! … That is not the problem … It’s myself I never get around to!”

(YOUR CHOICE! Relax and listen to the podcast below
or enjoy viewing the written blog and pictures following!)

Every single one of us is being formed daily. Formed by who we spend time with … formed by how we use our time … by what we listen to … what we read … what we dwell on … you get the idea. These forming influences either move us toward health or toward harm.

Being formed is not a neutral condition. It goes one way or
the other—toward wholeness or toward destruction.

Because God desires our best,
we are invited into a process of
spiritual formation.

I’m sure you are familiar with the picture of Jesus knocking on the door? In Revelation 3:20 Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”

This knocking on the door is not a salvation image … it’s not talking about becoming a Christian. The people this was addressed to were already Christians … this is about something deeper. It’s talking about our formation—whether or not we open ourselves to the re-forming work of God.

Our spiritual formation, however, is not our work—it is the work of the Holy Spirit—it’s a work of grace … a gift. And, since our God is not a pushy god, Jesus does not ramrod the door down to get inside. He’s outside … knocking … waiting to see if we will invite Him in to eat together … to do life together.

Spiritual disciplines, then, are intentional actions we take in order to open our hearts to the work of the Holy Spirit.

For example, if I find the Spirit drawing my attention to greed in my life, I might partner with the Spirit by intentionally giving things away. Giving things away would be a spiritual practice—a spiritual discipline.

Author Robert Mulholland explained those areas which need re-forming this way, “the points of our unlikeness to Christ are areas of our life where we are lord and Christ isn’t—areas where our agenda, our will, our desire, our purpose rules.”

Men and women are different. Surprise! Yet a practical understanding of those differences has not yet made its way into the study of spiritual formation—this process of becoming like Jesus.

Spiritual formation is, obviously, very individual. Your path toward Christ-likeness will look different from mine. We have different areas of woundedness that need healing. Different areas of stubbornness that need softening. A notable difference, however, can be seen in the spiritual formation process between men and women.

From as far back as the early church theologians of the 2nd century up to modern times, the uniquely female path of spiritual formation has not been considered or even acknowledged. Ignoring this distinctive path of women, however, is not unexpected considering how most of the Church’s formative theologians felt about women.

[Although we won’t take time here, I’d love for you to scan through a few quotes from men whose teachings helped form Western culture and worldview, men like Augustine and Martin Luther. You’ll find them at the bottom of this post. It is worth your time, I believe, because by reading them, you’ll get a better understanding of current views and opinions toward women both in our culture at-large and the Church.]

Sadly, some of the same negative predispositions—these same attitudes about women continue to this day. Even in the 21st century studies confirm we raise our children differently—our boys and our girls. Boys are raised to be independent; girls to be dependent. Boys are praised for stepping out in front; girls for being followers. Boys take to the field in action; girls stand on the sidelines and cheer. And on it goes. The acculturation—the forming—continues.

Which, of course means, that as adults the boys have developed into self-referenced, self-confident, and competitive men. The girls, unless great work has been done to battle the prevailing system, have been formed into other-referenced, reticent, compliant women.

Of course, not all men. Not all women. But the majority. Enough to set a pattern in our culture and our churches.

Boys and girls grow to be men and women with different traits, different ways of being, different approaches to God and to others.

Yet, no major studies have been conducted which focus on these gender-specific aspect of spiritual development.

If you have ever spent time with a man (think: father, husband, friend, co-worker), you intuitively know their path of spiritual formation is going to look radically different from your own.

Most spiritual formation teaching through the ages, however, has come from men—from the male point of view—from the spiritual disciplines a man might use to become more like Christ. These have included disciplines such as practicing humility, service to others, and not having the last word.

I can see you smile.

These are not spiritual disciplines a woman needs. Practicing these disciplines may only reinforce the already damaging acculturation women have received for centuries. Women tend to be unpretentious, even self-effacing; humility is rarely needed.

And service to other? There was a reason only four women attended the famous Pilgrims’ Thanksgiving. The other fourteen had died of starvation, from giving their meager food rations to the children. The men survived in greater numbers. Service to others is not a spiritual discipline most women need. Service to themselves would, more likely, bring them closer to Christ-likeness as each honored the gifts of their body, time, and energy.

And the idea of practicing the discipline of “not having the last word” could be hurtful to women, not restorative. Contrary to stereotypical myths, study after study after study have confirmed that women are spoken-over, drowned out, interrupted, and ignored at home, on the job, and now even on Zoom. To think a woman needs to practice not having the last word—well—it’s comical.

Yet … still … women are hungry to grow in their faith—wanting to be transformed—healed—to become more like their Lord.

And, not surprisingly, we can turn to Jesus to show us our path.

If you look closely at the encounters Jesus had with people, you will notice how He dealt with each person differently. Review the Gospel stories and a pattern emerges … a humbling of some … a lifting up of others. A defending of some … reprimanding others. Look more closely and you’ll see Jesus dealing with His female disciples differently than He deals with His male disciples.

Let’s take a look at a couple examples. The Gospel of Mark tells us Jesus called the twelve disciples near, His male disciples, and said to them, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else” (9:35 NLB). Yet to Martha, when Jesus and His disciples showed up for dinner, and was actually in the midst of being the servant of everyone, Jesus gently reprimands her and invites her to a different place—a place of receiving.

We see this pattern again when an unnamed woman, overcome with love and gratefulness, sheds tears which fall on the feet of Jesus. She stoops to wipe His feet … kisses them … anoints them with oil. Jesus? He forgives her. Defends her. Blesses her (Luke 7:36-50).

To the twelve, washing feet seems to have been a novel idea. We see that Jesus must instruct them, even demonstrate to them, and after he demonstrates He sits down and further explains to the men what He has just done. This, Jesus seems to be saying, is how you wash feet. Do it. (John 13:1-17)

One disciple already understands … her heart and her culture have taught her humility. The twelve men must be methodically trained.

Jesus is teaching those who are high-up in authority, how to bend down. And those who are bent down, how to stand up.

To the twelve—humility—washing feet—becomes a spiritual discipline.  To the woman, her spiritual discipline? Perhaps it is to receive grace and dignity—to internalize them—to let them change her into the image of the One she loves.

There are, of course, many spiritual disciplines that are the same for men as they are for women—disciplines needed by both male and female. As well, there are many men and many women who do not fall into the patterns of our culture.

Which is why God is in charge of our spiritual formation, not us.

Our choice toward wholeness and freedom is simply whether or not we open the door. And once we open the door, God begins our re-formation …
our rebirth.

It is only God who is capable of tenderly, lovingly, unceasingly planning and orchestrating opportunities for our journey to Christ-likeness. Our job is to pay attention. To ourselves. To God. To ask, What is it God is inviting in my life? or What do you want me to know about this, Lord?

When we place ourselves into the hands of God—open, receptive, willing to be formed, willing to see our dark places, willing to be healed—God moves into action. It is when we open the door to Jesus, who waits outside knocking, that God creates a path—unique and individual. A path to wholeness, to peace, to freedom exclusively for you—as a woman.

I am very excited about exploring with you over the next several months, some of these uniquely female spiritual disciplines. I am even more eager to discover together what these disciplines will look like practically—in your everyday life and mine.

Join me … and spread the word to women you know who would enjoy this journey as well … It’s going to be good … I think it could be life-changing.

I would very much like to hear your thoughts about the ideas presented in this post. Be sure to share your comments below. And if you have enjoyed this post, share it with a friend!

Blessings!

Stay up-to-date … add your email below!

Footnote: M. Robert Mulholland, Jr. Invitation to a Journey. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2016. Quotes taken from pages 50 and 29 respectively.
Pilgrim Women Statistics. Retrieved 8/25/20 from: https://womensenews.org/2012/11/mayflower-women-anchor-thanksgiving-plymouth/

I’m excited to share the first podcast (or audio blog) with you! A number of you requested an audio version … (great to listen to while walking or driving) … so here’s my first attempt! LOTS of grace please—it was a huge learning curve! Hopefully, I’ll be able to do a podcast version of a post occasionally, but let me know your thoughts below. We’re in this together!

(For those of you who prefer reading as opposed to listening,
the full transcript is available below.)

Contemplations to Go Deeper

Find a quiet place to be with the Lord … a place with no phones binging, no kids shouting, no microwaves beeping. Just q.u.i.e.t.

Ask yourself some questions, take your time, and become curious about your reactions and answers—questions like: Where am I trying to control? Who am I trying to control? Is it helping? What am I scared of? Do I believe God is actively working for my best in all things, all the time? Do I feel alone? Abandoned by God? For a long time, I did. And I came to see that I was believing a lie … that God was not actually IN my life working/orchestrating. To combat that lie, I began studying Scripture verses which spoke the truth. I found actually writing out the Scriptures slowed me down enough to do some deeper thinking. But what helped me in this process was making the Scriptures personal, pasting them on my walls, and memorizing key phrases I found significant. For example, Psalm 46:1, rather than “God is our refuge and strength…” I would write (and meditate on) “You are my refuge and strength…” Or Psalm 62 I wrote as “My soul finds rest in You alone, my healing comes from You. You alone are my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.” Give it a try. I guarantee God will meet you!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

The Lie We Believe

(Podcast Transcript)

Welcome to the Daughters of Eve podcast … a place for uncovering the truth about God and women.   A place for freedom to grow, as together we’ll search the Scriptures and ourselves for God’s empowering word to women.

I’m so looking forward to connecting with you, encouraging you on your journey, and giving you some helpful tools as we move out and become all God created us to be. On the Daughters of Eve blog we’ve been taking a closer look at the women Jesus encountered. Today, we’re going to take a look at probably the shortest conversation recorded Jesus had with a woman, it was with the mother of James and John.   The mom who raised the two boys nick-named Sons of Thunder. You don’t get a nick-name like that for no reason—so already we have a little sympathy for this woman, right?

By the time Jesus and this woman talk, she has probably become a widow. Scholars believe she was widowed since she is mentioned as one of the women who traveled the countryside with Jesus. Given the culture of that day, a married woman would not have been allowed to leave her husband to trek about the land with a rabbi.  But here’s a couple fun things … when you compare the Gospel stories of the crucifixion and resurrection, we learn that this mother of James and John was also Mary’s sister, which would make Jesus her nephew, and we also learn her name is Salome.

So here’s the short encounter from Matthew’s Gospel…

Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons, she knelt down to request something. “What is it you want?” He asked. She said, “Say that these two sons of mine might sit at your right hand and the other at your left hand in your kingdom.” Jesus replied, “You don’t know what you are asking.”

The story goes on to tell about how when the other ten disciples got wind of this request they were outraged—probably because they didn’t think of the idea first.  Jesus calls them all over, and you can just about hear the sigh as He explains again how in His Kingdom whoever wants to be the leader must be the slave.

Why would Salome make such a request of Jesus? Was it that she was a widow? Maybe, because in the culture of 1st century Palestine any inheritance she might have received from her deceased husband would not have gone to her, it would have gone to her sons. They could have been her only means of financial support—maybe she was trying to make sure they were in a secure place for her own safety.   Or, maybe she was just trying to influence the coach so her sons could be captain of the team … ensuring both honor and power for her sons? 

Whatever the reason was that she approached Jesus with her request, she was clearly doing her best to control the situation.  Making sure things turned out according to her plan.

It’s the lie we’ve believed since Eden … The lie that says God cannot to be trusted; not really … not with our lives. We don’t believe that God is for us—that God is working for us and orchestrating all things, all the time … for our best!  Instead, we choose to believe the lie which whispers, God isn’t paying any attention … God’s not looking out for you.

And because we believe the lie—that it’s all up to you, to me—we are left with the feeling that we’d better do something about this situation … about this person … and we end up controlling. Sometimes we control a little. Sometimes not so much.

We do this.

We all do this. But WHY? Why do we stay up nights calculating our next move? Why do we  bite down our nails trying to figure out what to say and how to say it?

Well, there are many reasons. But generally, people control because they’re scared.

Scared of being abandoned. Of being alone. Unloved. Scared of being humiliated. Of being worthless, of pain. The list is endless. 

They’re old wounds, probably from childhood, that startle us with their intensity when we feel threatened in some way.

Fear comes in many forms, but most commonly it shows itself in control.

I know it’s true in my life. When I start to feel scared—that I’ll be alone or uncared for … I start to control. People. Situations. It doesn’t matter … control becomes like a “fix” … an attempt to ease the growing fear and anxiety.

Of course, it doesn’t work … it only makes things worse. 

I think Salome was scared that day, because it looks like she decided to take the matter into her own hands and try to control the future … her future.

She’d been following Jesus for months … maybe even years … but her allegiance—her commitment—was still to herself.  She wasn’t the only one trying to control things, you can read the same thing about Peter, and the other disciples too just a few chapters earlier.

Fear messes with us.

But God knows this about us.

Which is why “Do not fear” is the most frequent command in Scripture.

But it is not with a bullying, threatening voice God speaks to us. Don’t hear: “You’d better not be afraid or else.”  Instead, hear gentleness … and tenderness when Jesus says, “Do not be afraid, little flock…” (Luke 12:32) Or “Have courage! It is me. Don’t be afraid.” (Matt. 14:27).  God is patient with this weakness of ours.

And when God’s voice tells us to take courage, it is not simply a “Chins Up Everyone” kind of appeal. No. When God tells us to have courage, it is because our Lord is near. Because God is actively, passionately working for our best … for your best … all the time.  It’s not about us mustering our own strength. It’s about changing who we’re looking at.  Author Edward Welch says it this way, “Fear and worry put the focus on us.”  So, if my eyes are on me, I am fretful, filled with anxiety … and stressed. If my eyes are on Jesus, I remember the things He promised me: “I am with you.” “I will help you.” “I will rescue you.” 

Where I look determines my level of fear. And my level of fear directly affects my obsession to control.

But here’s what I’m beginning to learn.  When the control-fever starts to take over … when the feelings of worry and fear and panic intensify … I am learning to pay attention to myself, and to see those feelings as good things because they can set off an alarm in my head … reminding me that my vision is out of line … my focus is on the wrong person. And that I’m not alone. I’m not abandoned. I’ve got an “active, protecting, comforting” (p. 64) God right beside me.

I think Salome learned that lesson … the lesson of letting go of control and focusing your eyes on the only One who is in control, because the Bible tells us Salome kept on following Jesus right up till she and the other women stood at the foot of the cross … watching, weeping, learning a lesson. And then, three days later, she saw her Lord alive.

So, my sister, next time you’re feeling fear or the desire to control is threatening your sanity, pay attention and gently ask yourself WHO you’re looking at. The only place you or I can find calm and joy and a quiet mind is in the arms of Jesus. We can learn this together.

If you’d like to explore this idea a bit deeper for yourself, go to the Daughters of Eve blog where you’ll find some questions for personal reflection—a healing space for you and God to go deeper.

I’d love to hear from you, so jump onto daughters of eve.blog (no spaces between the words when you type it in to your server, just daughtersofeve.blog) and send me a note or prayer request or a cute picture of your dog . Blessings to you this day. Bye for now.

Join the movement … hear the latest … add your email below!

NOTES: The image is of an icon of Saint Salome. Retrieved 8/2/20 from: https://angelicasotiriou.com/galleries/icons/