What’s the difference between saving face in the Asian style and our more Western idea of simply being polite?
I was thinking about this recently when I was at an event, which I co-sponsored, at London’s Asia House.
It was an evening event on ‘South Korea’s Economy in Transition’ and my new book on South Korea – Phoenix Rising: A Journey Through South Korea – was featured at the end of the discussion, which included an address by the Korean ambassador, a keynote speaker, and a panel of distinguished experts.
I am a great admirer of Asia House and all it does to promote economic, social and cultural links between Asia and the UK. It is a magnificent institution with a great team.
But one part of an otherwise highly successful and informative evening made me slightly uncomfortable. One of the panelists from a renowned bank with deep roots in Asia took the opportunity to launch into a lengthy critique of the financial sector and regulation in South Korea.
This was of course his right, and indeed his job as an expert on the issue. However, it was the way the critique was delivered that made me feel uncomfortable, and about halfway through his lengthy comments I realized why.
THE ASIAN WAY
Perhaps I have been in Asia too long and have become ‘Asianised’ but the room was half-full of Asian guests, and a sizeable contingent from the South Korean embassy was present, including the commercial attaché. They were there to celebrate UK-Korea links as well as to hear the discussion.
As the critical comments continued, I looked round to see how they were reacting. They didn’t show any perceptible emotion, so perhaps I was simply being over-sensitive. But deep down I knew that I wasn’t.
Direct critiques are not usual in public settings in Asia and are definitely not popular.
The notion of ‘saving face’ and not ‘losing face’ is so instinctive and ingrained in the Asia Pacific region that it governs almost all aspects of relationships, particularly business relationships.
And because business is so personal, and not based immediately on transactions, contracts, the bottom line and so on, it is vital that Western business people understand this notion of face.
HOW TO SAVE FACE
Being super-direct and to the point, making a clear and decisive statement, demanding a quick yes or no as we are prone to do in our immediate results culture, is often counter-productive in Asia.
And so too is breaking up the surface harmony of things. Of course, it is important to make your point but it’s always better to go ‘round to work’ (as Polonius said), simply because the nature of Asia cultures is to be indirect and oblique, especially in public settings.
My own Asianised way of making the panelist’s point may have been to draw parallels with regulation in different parts of the world, make appreciative points about my bank’s welcome in South Korea and the strength and skills of the Korean workforce.
I might then have added some questions to debate for Western banks in Korea (or in other parts of Asia).
NOT KNOWING IT ALL
This would have been a typically Asian way of raising the subject without making your counterparts lose face. Because if they do lose face, relationships can easily be damaged, deals can fall through – which seemed to be the case of the bank in question – and good relations are compromised.
Most of all, observing the conventions of face avoids the Westerner, expatriate or foreigner coming over as knowing it all, coming from a more sophisticated or ‘global’ business background, or even looking down on their Asian counterparts as not being up to the job, or fast enough, or organized enough.
You see what a quicksand face is? It’s not politeness in our sense, or even discretion. It’s respect for your potential partner, and a readiness to accept that other rules and ways of doing business are possible and you are ready to learn them.
I finished off the evening feeling glad that it had all gone so well, and that the Korean guests we[...]