Today I am going to be vulnerable. I feel a deep connection with Carl Jung and was thinking about what he did to learn about how the human psyche works. I feel like I am doing something similar to find out for myself and to share with others, how to heal from trauma and be able to move on and still Recreate My Life from the past.

I know it’s possible and this Ride of My Life Journey is just showing me my “demons” and what I get to let go of and what I get to embrace. This isn’t easy, in fact it is downright hard and sometimes scary, but it is something I have always wanted to do.

I am so grateful for this opportunity.

If you have been following my blog up until now, you would know that two of my biggest fears are being alone and being broke. I am sharing this because these are also two of the things that are leading me forward, through faith, trust and surrender, to where I am meant to be in this lifetime, whatever that may look like.

The biggest challenge I have is to talk about this stuff openly because I know I have people out there who will be concerned and worried about what may transpire here as well as think I have lost my mind. LOL, that’s probably a good thing to lose my mind because that is what created the fears to begin with.

The answer to that is it is something I need and want to do for myself to share with you… Carl Jung style.

What this means is that while he was doing his research, he kept detailed notes of his own strange experiences and found that they came from an area of the mind that he called the collective unconscious, which he believed was shared by everyone.

I can see how that could be and my journey is a way of showing that I can heal, but I must begin with myself. When I heal, I notice others around me are healing, and that is good. It is not something that can be explained, at least not right now. In the meantime, it is a process I am discovering through my own life experiences.

I do know and I have already talked about how our thoughts create our emotions and our emotions create our physical (illness and dis-ease) and external lives. This I am finding to be very obvious to me. Especially in the collective unconscious, where through the path of how we were raised to fit into society has brought us to the place of where we are in the world is all part of that collective.

Who we really are inside is not who we were told we are or who we should be.

We are not alone in this (first fear and lesson for me), we are actually in this together. The challenge is making the decision to shift our lives and then sitting with and walking through the experiences that come up in order to shift. This is where it isn’t easy. It, however, must be done to have enduring peace, love, joy and freedom.

I am also finding that in this process, I get the freedom to choose for myself how I want to do this. Not something I’m used to, as I let others in my past make my decisions for me because I didn’t trust myself. I’m walking through that now.

So, this experience that I am having is turning out not to be specifically about getting into a van and travelling the country or however I decide to do that. That is only the result of how I work through the remnants of these fears I have carried, generationally and for myself, throughout my life.

This is powerful stuff.

The other part of this is the fear of being broke or “lack mentality.” Another thing I am working through as the days move on. I’m not ready to disclose in that arena what is happening yet, or it doesn't matter as it's part of the process. What I can tell you it is a great teacher of faith, trust and surrender. I was working on that over that past 24-hours.

I will call this an experiment in Co-Creation. I already know that I am not like most others. I have always done things differently and have truly never fit in. This next chapter is not only to show that more fully to myself, but also to connect more deeply with the truth of who I am… another thing I have been talking about.

I’m sure you have heard the phrase, “Be careful what you ask for because you very well could get it.” At this point, I say bring it. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So, this experiment is mostly an experiment of the mind, body, spirit, heart and soul.

I don’t know what direction it will take me and now, at this point in my life, I am willing to see where it takes me. I am open to it all because I want that freedom.

Being in a van will not provide that for me. Feeling the freedom inside of myself first, will and that is my aim.

I want you to know that no matter what I am sharing here, it doesn’t mean that I am stuck or talking about my poor me story over and over again. I explained before that talking, for me, actually helps me to get to my understandings and decisions. So, if any of you are thinking I’m not ok, that isn’t true in the least.

I am fully ok and although all of this may seem crazy right now, there is fully a result that will come from this experiment and that is the truth… of me, being who I love and doing what I love.

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