Yesterday was a very eye-opening day for me and I recognized myself for the first time in years.

What I know about myself is that I push myself to completion, which is not necessarily a good thing because this will cause burnout.

When I saw this, I realized that it fit right in with my beliefs of needing to know the details and the when I talked about last week.

I have had this pressure inside of me to finish things, no matter what, and that has been one of the biggest self-sabotages I have had throughout my time on this planet.

My belief: If I finish, I am safe and in control.

Well, there is beauty and peace in not finishing, in leaving something, maybe that was never meant to be finished.

And… being ok with that.

Today is a new day and I am back in my void. The void is good because this is a place where I can be in the moment and allow whatever comes next without forcing anything to happen.

There is a realization in my heart that this is an important process for me.

What I figured out from yesterday is that for the first time in a while, I took some time off to go to some stores and get things I needed that I haven’t had time for. I took advantage of the Veteran’s Day sales.

By the time I was finished, about four hours later, I was exhausted. I still needed to finish the process I had started of posting my blog - audio and video podcasts - and then sharing them on Facebook.

What a stroke of genius. It came to my mind slowly what was happening with me and that was when I realized that I had been going non-stop since 6 am.

It was 7 pm when I realized what I was doing.

13 Hours! No… enough. Now it’s time to follow through with daily self-care. If I am not at peak energy, no one, especially me, gets my best self.

This all was part of the process to see what direction to take with the blogs and the podcasts as, for now, I am doing this on my own.

Burnout is not an option.

From this experience, I have decided to not do this every day. It’s too crazy of a feat and it will not be sustainable.

As I work through how to get this out there, I am looking at a completely different process that is set up to put out the best of me, even as I am describing the lows. Days are out… episodes are in.

I am finding for myself, and this is something that maybe even some of you all will recognize in yourselves as well, that putting yourself in a position of taking care of yourself first, will allow you to care for others.

This decision, for the first time in my life, is happening before the burnout.

The Ride of My Life just got a breath of fresh air.

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