Matt and Jay discuss difficult neighbors, how to be a good neighbor, setting good boundaries and what to do when the guy next door turns out to be nuts.

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Intro: Living Near Other People

Hard to do. Many complications.

Everyone has bad neighbor stories

Why is it hard to live near other people?

People do better with space (but there’s not much nowadays)

Not everyone knows how to respect others 

MANY people are bad at conflict…and conflict is a requirement when neighbors have differences of opinion

Are People More Angry These Days? 

Maybe

How to Deal with Difficult Neighbors/co-workers/family members/etc

1. Be a Good Neighbor Yourself

Be polite 

Be respectful

Be positive 

Look for ways to help out 

Occasionally offer gifts (small, thoughtful, inexpensive)

Harbor no ill will

Remember important dates/facts/names that your neighbor cares about

Always be impeccable with your word…aka Don’t lie (show up when you say you will, do the things you commit to, don’t commit if you’re not going to do it, etc.)

2. Set Boundaries When Necessary

Politely but firmly confront them on issues that must be resolved 

Explain your side but listen to their side as well

Spend the time to work to a common goal

Compromise if you can’t agree on a solution (both sides sacrifice something)

3. Determine If You Truly Have Bad Neighbors 

If they’re REALLY difficult:

Go to landlord/HOA

Go to other authorities

Go to a lawyer / court

Consider moving?

If they’re DANGEROUS…

Go to police

Probably moving

If you find you have multiple bad neighbors

Definitely time to move

However…The truth is, you probably don’t want to be friends with your neighbors

Why don’t you want to be friends with your neighbors

Space is good

Like dating a co-worker, if it breaks up then you live next to someone you hate. Not fun.

Summary

Be a Good Neighbor Yourself

Set Boundaries When Necessary

Determine If You Truly Have Bad Neighbors

You probably Don’t Want To Be Friends With Your Neighbors

Conclusion

Your peace of mind is highly dependent on your relationship with your neighbors. Do the necessary work to make sure you can relax, feel safe and enjoy your neighborhood.