Matt and Jay discuss difficult neighbors, how to be a good neighbor, setting good boundaries and what to do when the guy next door turns out to be nuts.
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Intro: Living Near Other People
Hard to do. Many complications.
Everyone has bad neighbor stories
Why is it hard to live near other people?
People do better with space (but there’s not much nowadays)
Not everyone knows how to respect others
MANY people are bad at conflict…and conflict is a requirement when neighbors have differences of opinion
Are People More Angry These Days?
Maybe
How to Deal with Difficult Neighbors/co-workers/family members/etc
1. Be a Good Neighbor Yourself
Be polite
Be respectful
Be positive
Look for ways to help out
Occasionally offer gifts (small, thoughtful, inexpensive)
Harbor no ill will
Remember important dates/facts/names that your neighbor cares about
Always be impeccable with your word…aka Don’t lie (show up when you say you will, do the things you commit to, don’t commit if you’re not going to do it, etc.)
2. Set Boundaries When Necessary
Politely but firmly confront them on issues that must be resolved
Explain your side but listen to their side as well
Spend the time to work to a common goal
Compromise if you can’t agree on a solution (both sides sacrifice something)
3. Determine If You Truly Have Bad Neighbors
If they’re REALLY difficult:
Go to landlord/HOA
Go to other authorities
Go to a lawyer / court
Consider moving?
If they’re DANGEROUS…
Go to police
Probably moving
If you find you have multiple bad neighbors
Definitely time to move
However…The truth is, you probably don’t want to be friends with your neighbors
Why don’t you want to be friends with your neighbors
Space is good
Like dating a co-worker, if it breaks up then you live next to someone you hate. Not fun.
Summary
Be a Good Neighbor Yourself
Set Boundaries When Necessary
Determine If You Truly Have Bad Neighbors
You probably Don’t Want To Be Friends With Your Neighbors
Conclusion
Your peace of mind is highly dependent on your relationship with your neighbors. Do the necessary work to make sure you can relax, feel safe and enjoy your neighborhood.