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In this episode, I speak to Julia Kerr Henkel about Dealing With Shame. Shame is one of the biggest contributors to suicide, depression, and sometimes abuse. We aim to explore how we can use empathy, connect with others, and learn to express ourselves emotionally to defeat this silent killer that thrives on not being spoken about or discussed. Julia brings her expertise and insights into this discussion to give us tools to help us build our shame resilience instead of responding with our shame shields. 

Julia Kerr Henkelthe is MD of Lumminos Coaching and Change Consulting. She is an executive coach, seasoned change and organizational development consultant, facilitator, and speaker. In March 2019, Julia studied directly with Dr. Brené Brown in Texas and is one of her Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitators commissioned to teach the skillsets of courage, connection, vulnerability, shame, empathy, and emotional literacy. 

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Topics we cover on the show:

• 03:25 - How do we define shame, 
• 05:30 - exploring the difference between shame and guilt, and looking at the 4 self-conscious emotions shame, guilt, humiliation, and embarrassment,  
• 11:40 - we cannot resist or avoid shame, but we can work on cultivating our shame resilience,
• 13:50 - men working hard to be the ideal man but never share the back story and struggles they go through,
• 19:37 - men and women being pit against each other and how we can find a balance and integrate,  
• 23:00 - why so many men are out of sync with their emotions and don't have the language to express their hard emotions,
• 27:00 - the 3 common shame shields we use to not feel shame. We move against, move towards, or move away,
• 29:41 - comparing how men and women express their emotions and learning our own emotional language,
•  32:36 - naming our emotions to help take away the negative power they can have over us,
• 37:00 - 5 steps to shame resilience,
• 44:33 - can anything good or positive come from shame?

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Website: www.lumminos.co.za 

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