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Father is a verb. In this first episode of a three-part series, a collaboration between Manned Up Conversations and the Jesuit Institute South Africa growing out of the Living Theology workshops, Kgaugelo Habyane sits down with Jesuit scripture scholar Fr. David Neuhaus SJ to ask what it means to be a father when the word itself is complicated.

For many men, addressing God as "Father" in the Our Father is complicated by a father who was absent, cold, or wounding. We explore that sacred friction and reread the Genesis creation stories, where, Fr. David points out, there is no primacy of male over female. Instead of the nouns and titles we argue over, they look at what God actually does: creating, forming, breathing into, feeding, waiting, running, and pouring oil on wounds.

Along the way we relfect on Rembrandt's painting of the compassionate father and the two hands resting on the returning son. We explore the Greek word for compassion, which points to the gut, and at Abraham as a giant of faith and a deeply flawed father. We conclude with Saint Joseph, the father who isn't a biological father, as the model of fatherhood as a vocation and a mission rather than a biological fact.

Fathering is something you answer and practise, and men without a father or a family can still receive it and give it. A conversation for fathers, stepfathers, mentors, and any man wondering what it means to step in.

Episode highlights

Introduction & The Meaning of 'David'

The "Our Father" Crisis & Broken Families in Scripture

Masculine Language & Verbs Over Nouns

Rembrandt’s Painting & The Compassionate Father

Abraham & Embracing Biblical Complexity

Gut Compassion ( Splanknizomai ) & The Good Samaritan

Genesis Creation Reframed: 'Adam' & Relational Equality

 Saint Joseph & Fatherhood as a Sacred Vocation

RESOURCES & LINKS

Jesuit Institute South Africa: jesuitinstitute.org.za

Workshop Information: To learn more about bringing the Living Theology: Our Father? Shadow of the father workshops to your parish or community, contact the Jesuit Institute South Africa here [email protected]

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

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Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this profound episode I sits down with activist, coach, and disruptor Nishani Ford. Nishani’s name, meaning Gift of Significance, serves as the foundation for a conversation about what it means to live an unfragmented life. From her miraculous birth to navigating her son’s ten-year journey through addiction, Nishani explains how her lived experiences have informed her unique approach to leadership and healing.

The discussion challenges the corporate sea of black suits and the injustice of being forced to fit into cubicles that strip away our human essence. Nishani introduces the powerful concepts of professional justice and compassionate dislodgement arguing that we don't have to wait for a crisis to transform our lives. Whether discussing the need for men to do the brave work of internal healing or the African way of healing in relationship, this episode is a call to move from mere existence to a vibrant, wholehearted life.

Call to Action: Are you living or just existing? Nishani challenges us to find the gold within ourselves and others. To support the show, share this episode with someone who needs a compassionate dislodgement today.

About Nishani Ford: 

CEO, coach, author, speaker, HR and Safeguarding specialist, investigator, Mom and Gogo.

·  CEO of Working with Purpose – leading the consultancy since 2012.

·  Global HR & Safeguarding experience – extensive experience working internationally across HR, Safeguarding, leadership, organisational development and change.

·  Safeguarding Specialist & Investigator – experienced in safeguarding practice, investigations, accountability and creating safer organisational environments.

·  Award-winning author – author of three books, using storytelling and lived experience to inspire and equip others.

·  Global Keynote Speaker – speaks on leadership, change, resilience, purpose, healing and people.

·  Internationally accredited ICF Coach – bringing 14 years of coaching experience to her work with leaders and organisations.

·  Mom & Gogo – two of her most treasured hats, grounding her professional journey in family, legacy and purpose.

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

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Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this episode I reunite with Tree of Mental Health founder, Given Ndlela—a mental health counsellor, Pastor, and a collaborator from the Masiviwe - Gents Let's Talk campaign. After many delays, we finally sit down at the Jesuit Institute of South Africa to discuss the void many men feel despite their outward achievements.

Given explores the profound spiritual significance of names and why men often end up as public successes but private failures. From the streets of Diepsloot to the two halves of life, this conversation challenges men to stop self-medicating their hidden injuries and instead embrace the hard work of introspection. Whether discussing the spoon and hand analogy of surrendering to a higher power or the courage needed to lead a household by first being led, Given offers powerful insights on living a purposeful, examined life.

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this raw and deeply personal episode of Manned Up Conversations, I link up with Joe Fleming, a US Army Infantry veteran turned South African community leader. Recorded just moments after Joe finished a therapy session, the dialogue dives straight into the meat of men's mental health, vulnerability, and the long journey back from rock bottom.

Joe opens up about his battle with bipolar disorder and a suicide attempt that ultimately became the catalyst for his life-saving initiative, Recharge Walks. Through his "love letter" to South Africa, Joe explains why isolation is a man's greatest danger and why building a village through simple, weekly walks is the key to reclaiming wellness. Whether you are fighting a silent battle or looking for a community of brothers, this episode offers a roadmap for getting back up after life punches you in the mouth.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

The Fighter’s Mindset: Why the true victory isn’t avoiding the punch, but the act of getting back up.

The US Army & "The Suck": Lessons in discipline, structure, and camaraderie from Joe’s time in the infantry.

A Leap of Faith: Moving halfway across the world for love and finding a permanent home in the spirit of Ubuntu.

The Reality of Divorce: How the end of a marriage can be a courageous turning point for growth and self-awareness.

The "Dangerous" Isolated Man: Why men need a village and healthy connections to survive the dark nights of the soul.

Recharge Walks: The story behind Joe’s Friday and Saturday walks and how they serve as a "saving grace" for men in Johannesburg.

The Mission to Stay: Joe’s current challenge with his visa and his unwavering commitment to continue his work in South Africa.

The Practical Takeaway

"Go for a walk.". Joe emphasizes that wellness doesn't have to be complicated. Success starts with the simple act of lacing up your boots and getting out of your headspace. Movement is medicine, and breathing fresh air in nature is often the first step toward healing.

Resources & Connections Mentioned

Recharge Walks: Join Joe every Friday and Saturday for a walk and talk. Contact Joe via Instagram to join the WhatsApp group.

Suits and Sneakers 

Holding Spaces Circles: Men’s circles @ Vice in Craighall, Johannesburg.

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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This Mental Health Awareness Month, we welcome long-time supporter Delile Ndumo to share his powerful story of life following his 2012 diagnosis with Bipolar Mood Disorder.

Delile's struggles were awakened by the suppressed grief following his father's passing in 2009. He details the challenging journey of finding the right combination of medication and ultimately experiencing a profound "rebirth".

The true catalyst for his healing, documented in his book Raw Feelings, was poetic expression. Delile shares how writing provided a constructive channel to pour his intense energy into, rather than resorting to destructive measures like drugs or alcohol.

We hear the moving lines from his pivotal poem, "It was Friday the 18th," which recounts the day he released years of pain and realized: "But a man is allowed to cry. A man is allowed to cry".

Delile’s journey serves as a powerful reminder that writing is a "powerful thing". He encourages listeners to seek holistic healing and see that even after the darkest struggles, you can emerge "victorious" because "there is light at the end of the tunnel".

Key Focus Points for Listeners:

• The connection between suppressed grief and mental health triggers.
• How writing can be used as a constructive, healing tool.
• The importance of challenging healthcare norms and seeking holistic care.
• Delile’s message of hope: "Look at me. I managed to turn myself around and also turn my life around".

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this episode, I reflect on a key tension in men's healing work: empathy vs. judgment, and whether my voice as an African man should only be directed toward African men. While firmly committed to centering African stories, I explores what it means to be a bridge—not an apologist—by creating space for honest conversations with men from all backgrounds.

From mental health and father wounds to shame and invisibility, these struggles don’t ask for skin tone or nationality. I had to pause and reflect around featuring a white U.S. police officer, Captain Adam Meyers, and how that moment forced me to reexamine the purpose of the platform.

This episode is a call to hold complexity—to uplift Black pain without essentializing it, and to recognize that healing insight can come from unexpected voices. 

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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Tune into this deeply personal conversation with Alex Abraham, author of Trauma and Ecstasy. 

Alex shares his deeply personal journey through repressed childhood trauma, including sexual abuse and its physical manifestations. He candidly discusses the limitations of traditional healing methods like talk therapy in addressing deep-seated issues and how guided experiences with psychedelics (MDMA and psilocybin) facilitated the uncovering of memories and a profound path toward healing and growth. 

This episode explores the untold aspects of men's pain and the search for effective healing from Alex's lived experience. 

Please note: this episode features discussion of psychedelics for therapeutic use but does not promote drug use Instead, it offers an honest and vulnerable account of personal transformation against the backdrop of a complex and evolving conversation around men's wellness and alternative therapies.

Connect with Alex Abraham:

Instagram: Alex.l.abraham

Website: www.traumaandecstacy.com

Mail: [email protected]

Buy: 

Trauma & Ecstacy: How Psychedelics Made My Life Worth Living

Resources:

Beyond The High: Exploring Psychedelics as Theraputic Tools

South African Depression and Anxiety Group

South African Federation For Mental Health

Psychedelic Society South Africa

South African National Counsil on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this deeply personal interview, Police Captain, Adam Meyers bravely shares his journey following a critical shooting incident in 2016, the subsequent struggles with trauma, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms, and his eventual path to recovery and mental health advocacy.

This powerful conversation cuts through the often stoic exterior of law enforcement to reveal the emotional and psychological toll that high-stress professions can take. Captain Meyers opens up about the silence and stigma surrounding mental health, particularly within the police force, and the challenges he faced in seeking help. He candidly discusses his experiences with substance abuse, self-harm, and even suicidal thoughts, highlighting the desperate measures he took while suffering in silence.

Tune in to hear Captain Meyers's inspiring journey and his call to action for men, particularly those in uniform, to be honest with themselves and reach out for help when needed. This episode offers valuable insights into the human cost of trauma and the transformative power of s peaking openly about mental health.

Connect with Adam Meyers:

website: www.stopthethreatstopthestigma.org

Facebook: Stop The Threat Stop The Stigma

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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In this episode Kgaugelo Habyane engages in an insightful discussion with Chelepe Mocwana. We explore the complexities of positive masculinities as a vital tool for achieving gender equity. Chelepe shares his experiences and perspectives on redefining masculinity beyond patriarchal norms, emphasising the importance of empathy, self-awareness, and accountability for men. Our conversation tackles challenging issues such as gender-based violence, consent, the impact of societal expectations on men and boys, and the need for a community-wide approach to foster healthier relationships and a more equitable society. This episode offers a refreshing and crucial perspective on evolving manhood in the pursuit of gender equality.

Chelepe Mocwana is a qualified lawyer and Senior Officer at the University of the Free State’s Gender Equality and Anti-Discrimination Office, within the Unit for Institutional Change and Social Justice. With a strong foundation in human rights and labour law, he focuses on feminist strategies to combat gender-based violence, promote gender equity, and challenge heteronormative and patriarchal norms. Chelepe has collaborated with grassroots organisations across South Africa, advocating for inclusive health and social justice programmes. His work also involves queering feminist approaches to address homophobia and gender discrimination, aiming to foster healthier masculinities and more equitable communities.

Mentioned in the episode:

Engaging Men and Boys in Violence Prevention

HRSC GBV Report

Employment Equity Act

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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Join Kgaugelo Habyane in this insightful conversation with Charles Achampong as they explore the importance of family time, the transformative power of travel, and the necessity of creating moments of pause in our busy lives. Charles shares his experiences from taking a year-long trip around the world with his family and the profound lessons he learned about presence, intentionality, and redefining success beyond traditional societal norms. Discover practical steps towards designing a more meaningful life and why pausing is not a reward but a crucial necessity for well-being.

Charles Achampong is a speaker, author, and leadership expert with over two decades of experience across multiple industries. 

He is the author of Around the World in Family Days: What We Learned When We Left It All Behind and Travelled the Globe, a powerful memoir about the lessons gained from stepping away from routine and embracing adventure, connection, and self-discovery. Charles’ work inspires individuals and families to rethink their priorities, challenge societal norms, and design a life of meaning.

Key Points Discussed:

• The significance of family time and shared experiences.
• How exploring different cultures expands worldviews.
• Pushing beyond comfort zones and embracing uncertainty.
• Charles's inspiration for the family trip.
• Strategic planning for long-term travel and financial considerations.
• The impact of cultural immersion on children.
• Redefining success beyond career milestones and financial compensation.
• The societal pressures on men to constantly be productive.
• The importance of pausing, reflecting, and realigning.
• Practical ways to incorporate moments of pause into daily life.
• The need to balance focus on the outer and inner self.
• Financial independence as the freedom to make choices.
• The biggest takeaway from the round-the-world trip: You don't need a passport to pause.

Reach out to Charles Achampong here:

Website: https://www.charlesachampong.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesachampong

Buy: Around The World in Family Days

Hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. 

Remember to take note of things that stand out to you while listening and take a moment to reflect in your own time or discuss this with some friends over some drinks, a meal or relaxing activity of your choice. 
Thank you for tuning into Manned Up Conversations. Please subscribe to help grow the platform, you can also find us on YouTube if you prefer video and don't forget to share your comments, insights or questions.

Support the show

Signup: 

Substack blog: https://substack.com/@mannedupconversations

Feedspot Listing:

We've been selected by FeedSpot as one of the Top 70 Role Models Podcasts, Top 70 South Africa Men's Podcasts and Top 14 Men Psychology Podcasts on the web. Checkout the lists below;

https://podcast.feedspot.com/role_models_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/south_africa_mens_podcasts/
https://podcast.feedspot.com/men_psychology_podcasts/

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