What happens when every bite of food feels like it needs to have a purpose?

In this episode of Dear Recovery, I’m answering a listener’s question about the fear of “wasting” calories—and the anxiety that can come when eating something outside of your carefully planned meals.

We’re talking about control, rigid food rules, and why something as simple as a bag of Cheetos can suddenly feel like a huge decision to an eating-disorder brain. I’m also sharing some very personal stories from my own recovery, including a movie-theater popcorn mishap 😂 and the infamous protein-shake disaster.

This is Part 1 of a two-part episode. In Part 2, we’ll talk more about what to do when the fear kicks in and how recovery can help us take our lives back from food rules and restriction. 🩶

 "If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone."  

What happens when an eating disorder starts affecting more than just food?

In this episode, I’m answering a heartfelt listener question about restrictive eating, bingeing and purging, depression, anxiety, sleep, isolation, and persistent thoughts of not wanting to live.

We’re talking about why eating disorders can often exist alongside other mental health struggles, how restriction can affect the brain and body, why everything can start to feel so much harder, and how shame and isolation can keep us from reaching out for help.

I also share some of my own experiences with restriction, emotional dysregulation, isolation, and missing out on moments of my life because I was so consumed by my eating disorder.

And most importantly, we’re talking about this:

Sick enough is sick enough.

You don't have to wait until things get worse, look a certain way, or reach some imaginary threshold of suffering before you deserve help. You deserve support, you deserve care, and you don't have to figure this out alone. 🩶

This episode discusses eating disorders, depression, suicidal thoughts, and substance use. Please take care of yourself while listening and see the episode description for crisis and support resources.

Suicide Prevention Resources:

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health, suicide or substance use crisis, or emotional distress, reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at Suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting ALLIANCE to 741-741.

What should you expect when you actually get to sober living?

In Part 2 of this two-part episode, we’re talking about some of the things I wish I had known before moving into sober living—from what to bring and how to find your recovery community, to navigating roommates, setting boundaries, helping others without losing yourself, and finding a job in early recovery.

I’m sharing some of my own experiences (including a few things I learned the hard way 😂) in hopes of making sober living feel a little less overwhelming and a little more doable.

You don’t have to have everything figured out. You just have to take the next step. 🩶

  "If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone."  

Going to sober living can feel really freaking scary.

In Part 1 of this two-part episode of Dear Recovery, we’re talking about what it’s actually like to leave detox or treatment and head into sober living—including the fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and “Oh my God, what am I doing?” feelings that can come with it.

I share my own experience of driving to sober living crying the entire way, what helped me take that first step, what sober living actually is, how to find the right place, what to consider financially, and some important questions to ask before you move in.

Because you don't have to feel ready.

You don't have to know exactly what you're doing.

Sometimes you just have to take the next step.

And yes…you might feel a little bit like a baby pony trying to figure out how to stand. ;)-🩶

Part 2 coming Monday.

What if your eating disorder is the thing keeping you from drinking or using drugs?

In this episode of Dear Recovery, we talk about the fear of letting go of one coping mechanism when you're terrified another one might take its place. I share some of my own recovery story, including what happened when I recovered from my eating disorder but hadn't yet learned how to cope with life without it.

Recovery doesn't mean trading one addiction for another. But it does mean learning the tools, support, and coping skills you need for whatever comes next. 🩶

What happens when you want to go shopping with a friend, but your eating disorder starts telling you that you don’t belong because your bodies are different sizes?

In this episode of Dear Recovery, we’re talking about body comparison, shame, friendship, and the fear that other people are judging our bodies—even when they may not be judging us at all.

Because your body size doesn’t determine who you get to spend time with, where you get to shop, or whether you deserve to be included.

We’ll talk about choosing safe people, setting boundaries, separating past experiences from present relationships, and—most importantly—not letting your eating disorder make your world smaller.

You don’t have to be the same size as your friend to belong beside them. 🩷

"If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone." 

In this episode of Dear Recovery, we talk about the fear of “bad” foods, why food labels can hold so much power over us, and whether recovery is possible while only eating the foods that feel safe. 🩶

If the thought of introducing foods like pasta, ice cream, burgers, or Oreos feels terrifying, you're not alone. Recovery can feel like a leap into the unknown—but you don't have to have the whole path figured out before you take the first step.

And if you can't believe recovery is possible for you yet...maybe you can borrow a little hope from me. 🩷

  "If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone." 

In this special guided meditation, we make space for sadness instead of pushing it away. Together, we'll gently explore what happens when we allow ourselves to feel difficult emotions with compassion and curiosity. You don't have to fix your sadness or make it disappear—you can simply give it a moment to be seen, felt, and processed. <3     

Why do certain comments about our bodies stay with us for years? In this episode of Dear Recovery, I answer a listener's question about the confusing and sometimes painful impact of other people's opinions about our appearance. We talk about why even comments meant as compliments can become complicated, especially in eating disorder recovery, and how we can begin to set boundaries and stop letting other people's opinions become the voice in our own heads.

"If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone." 

In this episode of Dear Recovery, I answer a listener's heartfelt question about the confusing, messy, and sometimes scary process of eating disorder recovery. We talk about taking steps forward and backward, learning to nourish and trust your body, the sneaky ways an eating disorder can hide behind “healthy” rules, and why recovery doesn't have to be perfect to be real. If you've ever wondered whether you're doing recovery “right,” this episode is for you. 🩷

 "If something has been weighing on your heart, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, your thoughts, or even just say hello. You can email me at [email protected] or send me a DM on Instagram @dear_recovery1. No question is too messy, and you never have to figure it out alone."