Dear Schuyler

Dating is something Schuyler is asked about frequently. For trans people, it can be tricky -- and dangerous -- to be open about one's identity. It can also be hard for well-meaning cisgender people to know what to do if their date happens to be transgender.

To dive into the dating discussion, Schuyler speaks with singer, songwriter, dancer, actress and "artivist" Mila Jam on to the podcast. During their discussion, Mila gets candid about her experience dating as a black trans woman and dispels the myth that cis people are not attracted to trans folks.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

We all identify ourselves as part of a community, but what exactly does it mean to "find your community"? And how can being part of a community help individuals uncover more about themselves?

To dive into the purpose and importance of community, Schuyler speaks with actor Rafael De La Fuente (Dynasty). In their discussion, Rafael, reveals how finding a community online enabled him to accept parts of himself that he did not realize he was suppressing.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

To kick off Pride month, Schuyler highlights an emotion that is often felt but rarely acknowledged: grief. It means more than just feeling bad after someone passes away. But why is it so important to experience it fully, particularly for queer and minority groups? And how does one even begin the grieving process?

To answer these questions and more, Schuyler is joined by the renowned advocate and media personality, Ashlee Marie Preston. She reveals how grieving is an essential step towards liberation, why systems of oppression encourage us to resist grief, and how we can all learn to find happiness on the other side.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

To kick off Pride month, Schuyler highlights an emotion that is often felt but rarely acknowledged: grief. It means more than just feeling bad after someone passes away. But why is it so important to experience it fully, particularly for queer and minority groups? And how does one even begin the grieving process?

To answer these questions and more, Schuyler is joined by the renowned advocate and media personality, Ashlee Marie Preston. She reveals how grieving is an essential step towards liberation, why systems of oppression encourage us to resist grief, and how we can all learn to find happiness on the other side.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

✶ If you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, visit https://www.pinkmantaray.com/resources/ed for resources and research.

A big part of Schuyler's journey was grappling with his eating disorder. And he is not alone; LGBTQ+ youth are affected by eating disorders more than any other demographic. But why do people develop eating disorders, and what can be done about them?

To gain more insight into today's topic, Schuyler speaks with friend and actress Cree (Mr. Iglesias, Game Shakers). During their discussion, Schuyler and Cree touch on everything from racial injustice to Cree's own experience with an eating disorder. But as you will hear at the end of today's episode, both of those topics are more intertwined than you may think.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

Most everyone can relate to not liking some aspect of their bodies. But for many transgender people, they often experience something that is more nuanced and devastating than that: gender dysphoria. It can be hard for cisgender people to understand what gender dysphoria is like. That's why Schuyler invited someone who could speak to the topic with intelligence and sincerity: Chella Man. Chella is an artist and activist, among other things. In this discussion Chella opens up about leaning into those feelings of discomfort in his art and fashion, and tells a story about how he helped his mom better understand what it feels like to be transgender.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

Super Bowl champion Brendon Ayanbadejo began publicly advocating for gay rights before any other NFL football player. In 2009 he wrote an op-ed about his support for marriage equality (five years before Michael Sam came out as the first openly gay NFL player). Schuyler finds out how Brendon's background compelled him to become a vocal advocate for marriage equality and invites Brendon to ask questions about aspects of being trans that are confusing to him (like they might be confusing to you).

In Schuyler's experience as an educator, the questions people have sometimes hold them back. They can feel because they don't understand every part of everyone's experience, they're unsure how to be supportive. That's why on today's episode Schuyler tackles a question many allies grapple with: Can I be an ally and still have questions?

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

Schuyler sits down with actress/comedian Dylan Mulvaney in her home to hear what it's like to be in the public eye at the same time as learning how to be her whole self. Dylan Mulvaney got her start on Broadway as part of the cast of the musical Book of Mormon, but her public profile rose in 2022 when she began documenting her transition on TikTok as part of her "Days of Girlhood." Since then, she's appeared on numerous talk shows like The Drew Barrymore Show, and even had the chance to speak with President Biden at the White House about trans rights.

Mulvaney shares her experiences of coming out, navigating the entertainment industry, and dealing with the media attention that comes with being a visible trans person. We explore the challenges she has faced, as well as the opportunities that have arisen from being a trailblazer in the industry. They discuss how to find joy in the midst of hate, the importance of representation and visibility for the transgender community, how to survive and thrive, and the work she's doing to help create a more inclusive and accepting world.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray

On the previous episode, swimmer Lia Thomas shared her experience and opinions on being a transgender woman in women's sports. The interview made national news from Fox News to TMZ, and everyone from former tennis star Martina Navratilova to average folks all over our YouTube comments had something to say about Lia's stance on the topic of trans inclusion. As a result, Schuyler decides to delve into the topic of trans women in women's sports even more -- this time, focusing on the science and research.

This week, he invites researcher Joanna Harper on to the podcast. Joanna began researching the topic of athletic performance of transgender people when she noticed that after she transitioned herself and began hormone suppression, her running performance deteriorated significantly. Since then, she published the first peer-reviewed study on the performance of transgender athletes as well as the book Sporting Gender: The History, Science, and Stories of Transgender and Intersex Athletes. Harper has also advised the International Olympics Committee and World Athletics on policies involving transgender athletes.

Joanna's email: [email protected]

The inclusion of transgender women in women's sports is one of the most contentious topics of our time. Many of us want to be inclusive but can't wrap our heads around the perceived "advantage" trans women may have in sports. Meanwhile, trans folks want to have access to sports in the same way cis men and women do, without having to jump through hoops or feel like a pariah amongst teammates.

One person has bore the brunt of this debate in recent years: Lia Thomas. When she became the first openly transgender athlete to win an NCAA Division 1 national championship as a member of UPenn's women's swim team, it became a national debate. That's why Schuyler invited Lia herself on Dear Schuyler. Lia discusses how it felt to become a national headline and what her true motivations were behind her transition.

✶ If you have a question for Schuyler, send him a voice memo on Instagram @pinkmantaray