In this letter, we explore how suffering likes to get us on our own, amplifying our pain and isolating us from our support. The challenge is to find ways to reach out when our impulse is to curl up and hide.

In the last letter, we explored how grief and suffering are not always part of God's plan. They don't automatically have redemptive meaning. In this letter, we are working out what that meaningless means about the world, our pain and what God is up to.

The question of meaning is never far from the human struggle with suffering. The conviction is that if we can simply find a meaningful interpretation of our pain, then our pain will be worthwhile. However, this can result in us living as if everything were 'meant to be.' And this, friends, maybe an even bigger problem.

In this episode, Malcolm tells the story of his friend Ruth, who after years of pretending, found a way to make room for who she really was and what she was really feeling, and found that it also made room for others to be similarly authentic. Authenticity like this makes room for grief too.

In this episode, we explore an ancient form of Hebrew poetry that gave voice to complaint and protest, yet didn't lose sight of faith or hope: these are the Psalms of lament. Jesus prayed them, and they kept his faith in God alive when God went AWOL.

There are more ways to be faithful than we think. We're used to think of kneeling to pray, or being accepting and content as the same as being faithful. But there is also room for argumentation, and protest and fighting for what you need and don't want to lose. 

Lots of life can be a rush. We try to jam as much in as we possible can. In today's episode, we're explore how grief is a big handbrake on hurry. Its a reminder that the process of grief is more important than any destination.

Grief can make people say dumb stuff. In today's episode, Malcolm extols the virtue of silence in the face of suffering. Rather than silence being an absence, silence allows for a deeper, more compassionate kind of presence, which takes people's pain seriously.

Dear Sophie: Letters on Grief is brought to you by The Common, a community of curious humans from First Church who gather to work out how to make the best of the outrageous privilege of being alive.

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