We meander our way through more chemo, more life lessons. At some point I'm going to get back to the purpose of this whole exercise. I'm going to wind my way back around to the grief.

And the only way you're going to be able to understand why and how I knew and learned the things I did is if you have the foundational knowledge.

We start chemo and I lose my relationship with God.

Everybody tells you to ignore the statistics and focus on your kid, on the now, seize the day blah blah blah. The scarier the statistics are the harder they are to ignore. This week I'm talking about my biggest fear, and what it was like navigating radiation. 

Once we knew it was cancer it was time to act, and quickly. This episode is all about getting ready for surgery, getting through surgery, and getting home.

September of 2012 is when it got really real and we figured out something was very wrong and our three year old was sick with something we couldn't name. This week I'll walk through that month and how we got from virus to brain cancer in four weeks. 

When I was 18 years old, my best friend had brain surgery. In order to understand what came after, what happened fourteen years later, you have to start with the knowledge that I had already faced the fear of losing someone I loved, when I was very young.

When my three year old was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2012 one of my first thoughts was, okay. This will be okay. She is fine, and he will be too. 

Ultimately I would be proven wrong. But in the beginning, I had so much hope.