She has no memories of her mother's voice, her laugh, or ever being held by her. Miranda Malone - clinical therapist, hypnotherapist, "dead mom girly," and founder of the Dead Mom Club - lost her mum Rosalie when she was just five months old.
In this episode of Death on the Daily, Miranda and I go deep into what it means to grieve a parent you never consciously knew: how preverbal loss roots itself into the nervous system, why so many early-loss daughters become high achievers as a way of outrunning the feeling, and how to tell if a relationship is safe enough to hold your grief. We also talk about grief rituals (including the coffee ritual that made her famous), micro-dosing grief instead of saving it for the big anniversaries, and the permission slips every griever deserves to give themselves.
Are you journeying with grief?
JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon
DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal
GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU
Disclaimer:
This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.
In this episode:
- What it's like to grieve someone you have zero conscious memory of
- Why early mother-loss often creates "high-functioning overachievers"
- How to spot whether someone is safe to grieve in front of
- Practical grief rituals: the coffee ritual, digital altars, and "micro-dosing" grief
- Spirituality, soul contracts, and what her mum might think of her life now
- The permission slips every griever needs to hear
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- Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel @deathonthedaily
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- Find out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk
You can connect with Miranda Malone here:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deadmomtherapist
- Check out Miranda's website for her offerings including membership, plus merch: https://www.mirandamalone.com
The theme music for Death on the Daily is Set Free by Katie Gray, which is used with artist's permission.
You can connect with Katie and her music and work here https://www.katiegray.com.
This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: [email protected]
Chapters:
0:00 – Intro: growing up with no memory of your mother
1:20 – Miranda's story: losing her mum at 5 months old
2:37 – Grief that lives in the body, not just memory
5:32 – High-functioning grief and the overachiever pattern
8:32 – Grief, empathy, and vulnerability to toxic relationships
10:26 – The "safe person" checkpoint: can they hold your grieving inner child?
14:32 – How to show up for a grieving friend, even years later
19:10 – Fragments, stories, and building a picture of who they were
22:28 – Becoming older than your mother ever lived to be
23:31 – Soul contracts and what her mum might think of her life now
26:13 – Storytelling, graveyards, and immortalising the people we've lost
29:23 – Positive nihilism and making peace with being forgotten
32:18 – Numbing out vs. spiritual connection through grief
35:57 – The coffee ritual — how it started and what it means
39:16 – Microdosing grief instead of saving it for the big days
40:26 – Restorative vs. performative: the test for any grief ritual
41:13 – The permission slips every griever deserves
