Decoding Learning Differences with Kimberlynn Lavelle

Have you heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder?  How about Pathological Demand Avoidance?

Ever wonder (or know) if your child has one of these and what to do about it?

Listen to this week’s podcast, where we dive deep into what these disorders are, and how to approach behavioral challenges with these kids.

Learn more about Michele’s work at: https://micheleshilvock.com/ 

Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Micheleshilvockconsulting 

And Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/micheleshilvockconsulting/

In this week’s podcast, I geeked out a bit with Michele Shilvock, where we talked about behavior difficulties in children and what really works in a respectful and long-term way.  Michele speaks from experience, not merely from theory.

Michele starts off walking us through her behavior visual, then explains lagging skills, ODD, and PDA.  We definitely didn’t have time to go as deep as I wanted on everything so watch for Part 2 coming soon!

Improving Reading Comprehension can feel daunting, but there are many simple, easy, and fun strategies that you can start using TODAY to improve your child's reading comprehension, despite any learning disabilities or challenges.  These work for kids with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, auditory processing disability, visual processing disability, and more!

Download the Guide at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/readingcomprehension 

As a kid, I remember being scared to go down this set of 3 tall, dark tunnel slides at the local water park (Raging Waters) called The Bermuda Triangle.  But I kept watching all of these other kids going down it and laughing and smiling and enjoying it!

Eventually, I climbed the stairs, took a breath and went for it.  And I was so glad that I had found that courage.  That motivation.

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences, but have you ever taken the time to consider how this might apply to your relationship with your child?

When I became a parent, I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of people.  One thing that struck me was that a child could be “taught” manners by not being forced to say please and thank you, but to just hear and see manners modeled genuinely and often.

Good news! This applies to motivating kids to learn (even those with learning disabilities and learning challenges).

If you want your child to read, grab a book and find a cozy place on the couch and dig in!

If you want your child to do math, model all of your mathematical thinking out loud.

If you want your child to write, write a letter to your cousin who you haven’t seen in 3 years.

If you want your child to love learning, work on learning something new (and be sure your kid sees how terrible you are at it right now, and how you aren’t giving up!).

Watching others engage in an activity can be very motivating.  Especially, if it is not tied to: “I’m reading, you should read too!”  If it feels coercive, it will not be effective.  

And, it might take a lot of modeling, so enjoy the reading, writing, math, and learning activities for their own sake.  Know that your child is benefiting from it, and let the struggles and expectations go.

Children are expected to learn at a steady pace, starting fourth grade at a 4.0, and ending at a 4.9 or 5.0, with steady consistent growth of .1 each month along the way.

I have never met that child.

Every child I have ever worked with has had periods of explosive growth and periods of stagnation and even regression.

We expect that steady straight line, but the spikes and dips and plateaus is closer to the reality that I see.  I also want to point out that some kids will not start or end at the expected points, although I had them line up for this illustration. (www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0230)

And while it is easy to look at this overall graph and think, “Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about.  That kid made great progress!”  it’s not so easy to feel that way in November, when a kid who WAS doing really well, hasn’t made growth in months!

So one big takeaway I want you to see here is that kids will make progress, at their own pace, and you don’t need to panic when progress hasn’t happened in a while.

But you’re probably wondering: Why does this happen? What can we do about these plateaus and dips?  Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

Great questions!

Why does this happen? 

Kids often get very enthusiastic initially, and then become bored.  So their progress can be directly linked to their enthusiasm for learning the skill.

Kids also will have enough background knowledge to make rapid growth initially, before getting stuck on a harder concept for a while.  Then when they break through that struggle, they excel again for a while, before hitting another roadblock.

And for some kids, it has to do with self-confidence.  They don’t feel self-assured enough to make progress initially.  Then they have a breakthrough and feel great, and make huge growth before getting stuck and losing confidence again.

What can we do about these plateaus and dips?   Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

One of the best strategies to try when you notice boredom or resistance to daily lessons is to bring in novelty.  When things are new again, they feel fresh.  This can be as drastic as changing which curriculum you’re using, or can be as simple as:

• Changing the tool: Crayons instead of pencils

Of course, I am never a proponent of forcing a child to do something they are really against.  Have a genuine conversation with your child to see what is going on and why they’re feeling resistant.  Give them options, and ask for their suggestions.

You might need to take a break from the lessons for a while, but perhaps your kiddo would be on-board to do a little practice to maintain previously-mastered skills.

A word of caution

As you can imagine from all the possible learning graphs of spikes, dips, and plateaus, every child is different and comparing two kids is rarely beneficial.  

Keep your own feelings about your child’s progress in check.  

Your child is an awesomely unique human who is developing their skills in their own way and at their own pace.  Another child’s pace does not reflect anything on your own child’s pace.

However, if in your gut, you know that something is off- your child needs more help, a different program, etc. - make it happen!  Don’t ignore those gut feelings, just be sure that they ARE gut feelings!

Takeaway

We expect kids to make slow and steady progress, but I’ve never met a kid who did.  Adjust as needed!

Sue Patterson of Unschooling Mom2Mom defines unschooling as bringing a full, rich life to your kids and trusting that they learn naturally.

Listen to Sue’s answers to these questions (and more):

• What led you to choose unschooling?

And then let me know if you’re currently unschooling or considering it, or if you just think it’s crazy!

Sue Patterson, a homeschooling mom with over 25 years of experience, is also an author, and an unschooling coach and podcaster. She helps families who aren't happy with their educational situations, and shows them how learning more about unschooling will help. She runs Unschooling Mom2Mom, available on all the social media platforms and offers courses, guides, group coaching programs, and private coaching.

www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com 

Sue's book: Homeschooled Teens: 75 Young People Speak About their Lives without School.

(Digital and HardCopy at Amazon)

Podcast: Unschooling Mom2Mom http://www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com/podcast

Sue sends out unschooling resources weekly by email.

Join her free email list here: Unschooling Updates

Kids with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities (including auditory, visual, attention, and cognitive processing disorders) benefit greatly from being carefully educated by those who know them best and spend the most time with them!

Teaching our children at home has so many benefits!  Even if your child attends a traditional school, you can support their learning difficulties at home.  Here are the benefits that I see:

(Watch or listen for more details on each!)

• Relationship Building

Note:

• Know yourself and your kid (will this work for your family?)

From www.AlfieKohn.org:

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and hundreds of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.”

Listen as I ask Alfie about some of our previous episodes on motivation and my suggestions on what you should be doing and I get his feedback.

Some of my biggest take-aways were:

• Ask yourself: What are my long term goals for my kid(s)?

What were your take-aways?

https://www.alfiekohn.org/

Start reading his books today!

One of my favorite mathematical tools is in your wallet, or maybe in your junk drawer, or one of those 5 gallon water jugs.

Coins!

Coins can be used to teach so many math concepts!  And yet, money is barely mentioned in the common core standards.  I understand that coins aren’t necessarily critical, but I do think it’s important as a life skill AND it’s a great mathematical tool for tons of other concepts!

First, we need to work on teaching our kids to identify coins- their names and values.  

Then we can use those coins to practice counting by 1s, 5s, 10s, and 25s!

Counting by numbers means we can also use coins to practice multiplication, making groups of one nickel and 2 pennies to practice 7s, for example.

If our kids are comfortable with knowing that 4 quarters makes a dollar, then we can use that to reinforce fractions.  Three quarters means ¾ of a dollar!

This knowledge of fractions then ties into decimals and their equivalent fractions.  25/100 is equal to ¼ because $0.25 is 1 quarter, which is ¼ of a dollar.

We can then use this to work on ratios in much the same way.  We might discuss the ratio of 5 pennies to every 1 nickel.  So 5 nickels is 25 pennies.

Along the way, our children will have also learned a lot about place value, including decimal place value.  They can practice trading 10 pennies for 1 dime.  And the opposite.  Think about how this can be used for multi-digit addition and subtraction.  They can trade dollars, dimes, and pennies as needed to make counting easier and to make subtraction possible.

Having our kids be very comfortable with counting and using coins is a wonderful example of everyday learning, using an everyday activity or skill to learn deeply.

When we understand why our children are struggling with reading comprehension, we can be far more effective in helping them to overcome their struggles.

Vocabulary as a skill is essentially about understanding the meaning of the words being read.  A strong vocabulary allows children to understand the meanings of higher level texts.

Some learning disabilities will hinder a child’s vocabulary development or retention, causing them to struggle to understand what they are reading.

When we help them overcome this difficulty, we help them to find more reading comprehension success and enjoyment.

So what can we do to support vocabulary development in those struggling?

First, just use a variety of vocabulary and when you notice a word that is confusing to your child, make a point of adding it to your vocabulary and helping to make neural connections by using it as frequently as you can.

The natural follow up to this is to then reinforce vocabulary as you are reading with your child.  Give reminders of words that have previously been practiced.

Next, make building your child’s vocabulary intentional.  Play games with vocabulary words, grab a word-a-day calendar, create a vocabulary log/journal where they can record the words they are learning and practice using them a few times.

What to avoid

The old dictionary copying is REALLY bad teaching practice!  The kids don’t really learn anything from this approach unless they are able to overcome the tedium to gain interest in the meanings of the words.

I would also recommend avoiding completing vocabulary worksheets.  These are similarly boring most of the time, and kids wind up “doing” the worksheet, not learning the vocabulary.

Additionally, keep in mind that almost no one can learn a word after having it explained once.  Some kid with memory challenges, will need A LOT of repetition before they actually remember the meaning of the word.  Don’t be too eager to constantly introduce new vocabulary, unless you are able to also constantly practice the previously “mastered” vocabulary words.

More TO DO

Develop your own vocabulary and use new words around your kids!  Modeling is a great teacher and the more a child hears a particular word in use, the more they will truly understand the word wherever they come across it.

Next, model curiosity around new words and their meanings.  Demonstrating that you don’t know every word can be encouraging for kids.

For some kids

For some kids, intervention with a speech and language specialist may be your best choice.  You may reach out to your local school district for an evaluation.  Medical insurance also covers speech and language services in some cases, so talk to your doctor/insurance about how to have your child evaluated.  If you’re up for paying out of pocket, you can research private practices in your area.

Takeaway:

A strong vocabulary leads to improved reading comprehension and should be fostered intentionally.

If you need some help in figuring out more specifics around the HOW to help educate your own child, or to provide your child some extra support, reach out to me ([email protected]) for more information, or to schedule a call.  You can also check out the Available Services page for more information on some options that may work well for you and your family.