Decorative Vegetable

I’m probably the worst person to do this kind of reading honestly.

The title of this weeks episode of Torchwood is surprisingly apt for the change in the show that we’re also going to experience. Which is why Kiyan was able to so expertly make that pun last week about it. Well not much else to say besides that. It’s Everything Changes, written by Russell T. Davies and aired on October 22, 2006.

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In terms of “where are they now?” retrospectives, at least the S&S one will be really easy.

Kiyan and I have been trapped in a recording studio for all eternity as of the end of this serial. You may be deceived into thinking that before today we had already been stuck in a recording studio all day, which wouldn’t be so far from the truth given the current pandemic. But now it’s official and can never be revoked, new content every week until we die. It’s Assignment 6, written by P.J. Hammond and aired between August 19th and 31st, 1982.

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I only like bondage anthills personally.

So we’ve come to the end of our little journey, which means it’s time to jump back into the late 2000’s for some quality early 21st century television. But before that, we have to suffer through Pip and Jane Baker’s masterpiece. Some say it’s their greatest work, their magnum opus. It’s Time and the Rani, written by Pip and Jane Baker and aired between September 7th and 28th, 1987.

Show-notes:

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I forgot my name again too. I can’t remember if I was Kiyan or Dylan.

We’ve trapped ourselves in an old-timey estate house in order to experience this episode to its fullest. We’re actually not sure who else is locked in here with us, I didn’t check to see if the property was vacated before we decided to record in here. I can hear a weird stone statue mouthing off in the basement so that’s pretty weird. It’s Assignment 5, written by Don Houghton and Anthony Read and aired between August 11th and 26th, 1981.

Show-notes:

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It’s like a shitty version of the mystery mobile.

Alright gang buckle up because we’re coming to the end of this insane ride and we’re doing it right. And by doing it righ I mean we’re mindwarping ourselves, so I’ll putting my brain in Kiyan and he’s putting his brain in me and then absolutely nothing will change because as it turns out in the TYD canon we don’t really have defined characters. Or do we? Also we’ll be retconning that away in two weeks when we start Torchwood so. It’s Mindwarp, written by Philip Martin and aired between October 4th and 25th, 1986.

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Alternate title: Sapphire and Stalin

Kiyan and Dylan are like kind of really lame versions of the elementals. Which I bring up because that would explain why all of our guests are way cooler than us. Just like in this episode when we theorize that S&S are the outcasts who constantly fail, that would be us. And then the guests like Lead and Silver who are super suave and cool, that would be Keith and John. Damn. It’s Assignment 4, written by PJ Hammond and aired between January 27th and February 5th, 1981.

Show-notes:

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Can’t wait to see all of the Sea Devil photoshops we’ll get out of this.

I find it interesting that in reality the Silurians are the ones in charge of this story, completely and utterly. But while they may be the ones in control, they aren’t the ones who lend their name to the title of the story. The Sea Devils don’t really do anything except show up and cap a bunch of fools, and then they just kind of… die. And yet somehow the story is named after them? It’s Warriors of the Deep, written by Johnny Byrne and aired between January 5th and 13th , 1984.

Show-notes:

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Tune in this week to find out how to pronounce Russell Wooten.

Tune in this week to also find out how much of Russell Wooten is too much Russell Wooten. Turns out all three of us have a really different point of view on this really really important topic. It’s Assignment 3, written by PJ Hammond and aired between January 5th and 22nd, 1981.

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What if Anthony Read had actually written The Timeless Children?

Personally I find that my dreams have taken me to the real life underworld much more than this story ever did. It’s pretty hellish down there, so I’m gonna give you all a warning. I’ve become best buds with some of my demons though, which is cool. They bought be a soda last week, that was nice of them. It’s Underworld, written by Bob Baker and Dave Martin and aired between January 7th and 28th , 1978.

Show-notes:

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Look I’m not saying this could have been 2 serials but I’m not not saying that either.

Honestly I’m kind of glad we started with the 8 parter right off the bat. In general 8 parts back in classic Who days was the “max” we’d watch in one week. Anything above (like the 10 part The War Games or 12 part The Dalek’s Master Plan) we split over two weeks. Kind of almost wonder if we should have done that here, maybe we would have given it a more fair shake. It’s Assignment 2, written by PJ Hammond and aired between July 31st and November 8th, 1979.

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