Things are looking up! Merrin has a cold, Carolyn plots a betrayal, and Joe Pavelski is celibate? Plus xG Scandals and defending M. Night Shyamalan. Let's get horny for some monsters!

To listen to Gurianov's beat boxing click here: https://puckinginsane.tumblr.com/post/188606343452/hertl/amp?__twitter_impression=true

Hockey is back... technically. Carolyn and Merrin discuss the Stars' slow start, advocate for team therapy, learn they've been living all wrong, try to fathom what the planets have in store, and judge a costume competition.

The preseason is dead! Long live the regular season! In the last episode before actual hockey starts, Carolyn & Merrin try to make some pairing predictions, Merrin is insulted by the internet, Carolyn has a week, and it's goblins all the way down.

It's officially preseason! Yay! Carolyn & Merrin actually talk about hockey (for once). Like why do the Stars hate Julius Honka? Which prospect would be the best to date? How did Mitch Marner get that contract? He's that old? And why aren't there any good Stars puns?

Hockey's still a month away! Oh no! Paul Fenton gets fired, Merrin can never pull a Jim Benning, Carolyn needs some advice, the team gets a pet, and the world's going to end. Is it October yet?

It's the doldrums of the offseason so what better time to start a cult! Carolyn & Merrin talk Stars' vacations, the unsung hockey brothers, capitalism and mental health, Merrin gets married, Carolyn becomes her mother, and everyone lets Jen down.

Carolyn & Merrin assess the Stars' big free agency signings, make a Corey Perry contingency plan, and talk hypothetical pregnancies. Plus Merrin makes an impossible choice and Carolyn confesses a dark secret.

Carolyn & Merrin are joined by special guest Hannah Stuart (@HockeywthHannah) to school us on the NHL Draft. We talk Draft winners, big surprises, battle royales, the American development model, the best buddy cop duo ever, prospect stats, and Tom Hardy: hockey player.

It's summer time and the living is easy! The Stars are taking a break, which means Carolyn & Merrin have to vamp for an hour! Good Omens, Roman Polak: universal constant, Team Sexy, and the best website on the internet.

Hockey's over! Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' last few games against the Blues, look into the future with The Onion, and ask the Wild "What, what, what are you doing?". Plus, the worst Stanley Cup ever, Scotland stories, and keeping up with the Joneses.