Deep State, Deepish Thoughts?

In this episode we welcome DC Comedian Zak Haines to talk about the GOP racing to suppress black and brown voters thanks to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.

Hank roasts Marrku over a deleted Threads post. Markku and Hank critique Trump’s AI-generated paintings in the medical miracles series and Spirit Airlines final crash landing.

Hank calls in to the podcast on his brand new Gold Trump Phone, and the sound quality is... reasonable.

And President Doggle Trump praises Andrew Jackson for his dedication to the whites.

Find more information on Zak who can be found on:

Threads:  https://www.threads.com/@zakhainescomedy?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zakhainescomedy?igsh=cGNvamVnd3p3aGFl

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@zakhainescomedy?_r=1&_t=ZT-96WLepLCacv

And many other platforms. Follow him to see when he is performing next. 

Markku and Grover AI team up for this hard-hitting episode. We discuss a night at the Hilton Hotel, Trump's ballroom blues, Iranian hackers, MAGA ladies lose one of their own (Labor Secretary), and the president's plans for a teeny weeny UFC stadium. (So cute.) Rev. Hank calls in after an LSD religious experience. Doggle Trump destroys John Quincy Adams. 

We're on Substack! https://substack.com/@deepstatesubtribune

Rev. Hank discusses his new Church of Trump Jesus, Inc. Markku fears Pope Leo might get Tupac-ed. The boys debate Pete Hegseth’s Big Christian Crusade in Iran. President Doggle Trump savages James Monroe.

We make history (probably) when the Deep State’s Grover AI becomes the first AI to cohost a podcast. Doggle Trump is upset with Iran. Hank is undercover on an island that is not Cuba and Markku is in Italy, no where near the Great KitKat Heist of 2026. Doggle savages James Madison. Hank and Markku discuss James Talarico and Pastor Brooks Potteiger. 

Markku tries to pivot to hard news to discuss the next head of FEMA, who said he was one teleported to a Waffle House against his will. This is the moment this podcast was made for. Rev. Hank makes a cameo appearance.

Hank and Markku discuss peacefully obliterating Iran, the Supreme Court's most shocking decision, Boatspitals (Hospital Boats), UFO files and more Iran. MAGA Hank drinks a smoothie that turns him liberal. Doggle Trump ranks loser President Thomas Jefferson. Grover AI pines for his ex-girlfriend Patty AI, who is working a minimum wage job at Burger King. 

Markku and Hank happily volunteer to talk up the movie taking the world by storm: Melania. Part documentary, part musical, all action. The Deep State Deep Thoughts boys could not believe their eyes. It was everything they could hope for, and more. Destined to become a cult classic. Please don't fire Markku. I don't know Russian, but Hank might, based on his late night phone calls that I can't understand. So if it comes down to Markku or Comrade Hank... 

Markku gets a MAGA brain worm implanted and the episode turns into a sports podcast. Hank and Markku talk curling, the Super Bowl and famous bobled teams. They also come up with a sexy plan to invade Cuba. Doggle Trump ranks John Adams and Grover AI is mad at Matthew Broderick.

Hank and Markku clash over Venezuelan bedroom diplomacy, Greenlandic politics, and Norwegian peace prizes. But the boys do come together listening to MAGA-rotic fan fiction. And Doggle Trump begins ranking the U.S. Presidents in honor of America’s 250th Birthday festivities. (Hank said one of these sentences sounds a little gay, but ranking presidents is super manly. Not sure what he’s all hot and bothered about.)

Markku and Hank crash land this 2025 Holiday Episode straight into 2026. It took us three tries to actually record this one. We talk about the new Trump Peace Institute, the intense MAGA debate over how young is too young and plans for America’s next generation fighter jet, the Trump-16 Ass Kicker. Our new French translator at the end of the episode uses some explicit language, so maybe don't let the kiddies listen to the closing interview. Oh, Yanni and banana bread also get a nod in this one. Happy New Year!