This week’s episode is a dear dani special, where we relaunch my advice column! Three of our listeners share their growing pains about young adulthood, from trying to fit in at work both socially and professionally, to figuring out what to do now that college has ended.

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Happy to have spent Women’s Month well, as I got to join many different events and activities where I learned from fellow women. On the pod, I share a certain theme that I have observed from these experiences: how care work and violence shape womanhood. I reflect on the anger that I feel as a woman, and share what we can possibly do about it.

If you or someone you know is in need of support: Violence Against Women Helplines | Philippine Commission on Women

References:

2025 18-day Campaign to End Violence Against Women | Philippine Commission on Women

Context in the Philippines - Association CAMELEON

Explained PH - CHILDHOOD STOLEN BY MEN In 2024, more than 3,600... | Facebook

FAQs: What is unpaid care work and how does it power the economy? | UN Women – Headquarters

'Most pregnancies in girls under 15 likely linked to statutory rape'

Racial & Sexual Violence Pyramid | PCAR

I’ve heard it all: I shouldn’t speak so soon. Maybe I just haven’t found the right guy to have kids with. I can never be sure of my own future. There are so many other responses that resist the idea of a young woman being so certain about not wanting to have children of her own, as if admitting this makes her an anomaly, because isn’t this a role women are supposed to enact eventually?Here, I try to make sense of why motherhood holds no appeal for me and how, despite this personal choice, I still support women who dream of motherhood.

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Last semester, I attended a lecture in graduate school that explored the lived experiences of single Filipino women in their 30s. I came out of the lecture realizing that while these participants did not expect to be single at that age, I never seemed to have had that aspiration. With people my age moving in together and settling down, I can’t help but wonder if there is anything strange about not being partnered. And the answer is no, it’s not weird. I am glad to live in a time where it is embraced and encouraged. But being single does make me reassess what it means to be a woman, if I am not going to be anybody’s girlfriend or wife.


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You look lonely… can AI fix that?

On this episode, we explore the ever-contentious r/MyBoyfriendIsAI subreddit, where users share their motivations for pursuing romantic connections with bots that are nowhere close to human, but are able to mimic qualities that one would consider to be ideal in a partner. Users claim that such a unique relationship has its benefits that surpass human connection, but is that really the case?

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In one of my classes this semester, we were asked to introduce ourselves, and I found it interesting how one of my professors worded it toward the end: tell us about yourself, what you do, and outside of school and work, what preoccupies most of your time. I realized that besides the activities I engage in from place to place—school, gym, work, the movies—I spend most of my time in public transport.

In this episode, I try to make sense of a much bigger reason why car centrism in urban areas harms us all: it affects the way we connect with others and puts commuters at a social disadvantage, from committing to hobbies in third spaces, to building communities of our own.

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Have you packed your analog bags yet? How many journals have you inserted in your leather folio? Should we invite Bella Hadid?

Look, I understand the growing resistance toward the internet. It used to be a window to see the world, but right now I’m not so sure what it is that we’re seeing. In many frustrating ways, I understand this shift to the tangible, to analog, at an attempt to cure the brain rot and reclaim personal identity again. But is that what we’re really headed toward?

Today, we dig deep into the possible reasons why analog is the latest hype, why it feels uneasy to see this shift happening, and how we can sustainably keep up with the unwavering need to create meaning and joy in our lives.

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Let me start with a confession: I was supposed to put this out last December but I underestimated the multiple responsibilities I had on my plate that I had to set this aside. I was even scared of pursuing this with more gusto. But I did promise myself that this would be the year I stop feeling so afraid of changing.

So here are some life updates that explain why I went MIA (again) and where I see this podcast going. I hope you enjoy listening!

Thank you again to Studio 18 for accommodating me last year—this was such a nice place to film.

Studio 18 @ Aspira, CDO: Instagram | Airbnb

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Happy Women’s Month! This episode shares statistics on Violence Against Women (VAW) and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) in the Philippines, as well as reasons why victims find it hard to leave.

References:

Estrellado, A. F., & Loh, J. (2013). Factors associated with battered Filipino women’s decision to stay in or leave an abusive relationship. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 29(4), 575–592. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260513505709

Parcon, Cristabel Rose F., and Antoinette Louise S. Makani. 2024. Intimate Partner Violence Experiences of Filipino Women: Evidence from the Philippines. DHS Working Papers No. 205. Rockville, Maryland, USA: ICF

Philippine Commission on Women. (n.d.). https://pcw.gov.ph/violence-against-women/

Andi Eigenmann’s recent crash out left me thinking about how much more weight social media has on relationships these days. how did it come to this? and what can be done to lessen the impact of social media on relationship satisfaction? these are questions I try to answer on this episode.

References:

1. Arikewuyo AO, Lasisi TT, Abdulbaqi SS, Omoloso AI, Arikewuyo HO MD.. Evaluating the use of social media in escalating conflicts in romantic relationships. J Public Affairs. 2022; 22:e2331. https://doi.org/10.1002/pa.2331
2. Delle, F. A., Clayton, R. B., Jordan Jackson, F. F., & Lee, J. (2022, June 9). Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram: Simultaneously Examining the Association Between Three Social Networking Sites and Relationship Stress and Satisfaction. Psychology of Popular Media. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000415
3. Goldberg, Sharon & Yeshua-Katz, Daphna & Marciano, Avi. (2022). Online construction of romantic relationships on social media. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 39. 1839-1862. 10.1177/02654075211067814.

Owens, A., Beattie, E., & Irvine, T. (2024). The Impact of Social Media Use Among Millennial Couples. The Family Journal, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807241286804

Let’s stay connected~

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