There are going to be moments when the world around you just goes crazy, and your energy is just off. When you’re struggling, how is it that you not only keep things going - but also still do your thing? And how does your submissive come into play?If you’re anything like me in this BDSM journey, you may find this a tough situation to deal with. With this episode, I am offering some insight that just might help.

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Transcript:

This one is for the dominants out there, and I need you to listen up because this one’s going to really help clear something up that you may very well be struggling with.

As the dominant, we want to be in charge of everything. We want to take care of things. That is how we’re built.

We call the shots. We make the decisions. We’re the ones in control.

Now, some people would say that makes us just control maniacs. And there may be some truth to that, but reality is we like to lead. We like to direct. That is how we’re built.

But what happens when the world around you becomes so chaotic and takes so much of your energy that you don’t have a lot of energy left to give in a lot of places.

It is very natural for those who are in submission to you to want to help.

They want to be there for you. They want to help accomplish the things that you need to do.

Now, I don’t know about you, but for as much as I do love service-oriented submission, it can be hard to accept.

I know for me sometimes I struggle with this mindset or this thought process of using them in a negative way. And I never want to be somebody that just uses somebody else. That’s not how I’m built. So, when they want to help and they want to do things in service to me, I struggle sometimes with that.

And when my energy is low, when my mental capacity is drained and I am in like a bit of withdrawal… a little bit more of that conservation of my own energy… I know I need help with things. I know I need that help to accomplish other aspects of my life. And it becomes very hard to allow those in service to me to do that.

Now, I am very aware that there could just be some bullheaded pride in play, and that’s… I don’t think that’s very uncommon at all for most of us on that top side of things. I think we’re quite proud.

But if we allow our pride to get in the way of not getting the help we need, we’re doing everybody a disservice. And we’re quite frankly stealing opportunity from our submissive partners to do the very thing they want to do which is serve and please.

Now this is a struggle I have dealt with for my entire journey in this lifestyle.

I have struggled with this point of… how do I allow them to do these things for me without me feeling like I am now taking advantage of them, because again I never want to feel like I’m doing that. Add to that mix the real reality that in some ways they want to be used and it can get quite complex, no doubt.

So, the reality of what I want to point out in this very short and very simple episode today is that when you find yourself in that place where you need the help, you know it, you can feel it… your energy is just off for whatever reason… you know you need the help… Don’t be afraid to ask for it.

Let them serve.

Let them step into that role.

It will actually strengthen your dynamic more than you realize because you’re not showing a sign of weakness. You’re actually showing a sign of humanity. And it’s important that they see that in you as well. They need to see that you are still human.

And they need to see that when you are struggling somewhere along the way, they can step in and help support you in everything you’re trying to do. It makes them feel incredibly special to do that.

So, if you’re struggling with this, if you’re fighting, pushing past your own pride and allowing this to happen, take it from somebody that understands that and just let it happen for a little bit.

Try it.

See how it works because you might just be amazed at the impact it makes for yourself, for your partner, but then also in the dynamic that you are creating.

This can be an incredibly powerful shift that benefits everybody involved.

Thanks for hanging out and I hope that you’ll subscribe.

Make sure you leave any comments and a little bit of love for the podcast and we will catch you in the next one.

Thanks for tuning in to the Deeper Podcast. I hope that you not only enjoyed the episode, but maybe something new jumped out at you. Hopefully, something that changed your perspective and maybe has you thinking a bit more. I’d love to hear from you. If you have comments, show ideas, or questions, please check out the show website at deeperwithred.com, click on the feedback tab, and send a message there. You also find other episodes, related materials, and even ways to show your fan support right there on the website. So, we’ll see you there. Until next time, whenever or wherever you can, go deeper.

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