Definitely Bad Advice

Bailey, the don't be a pussy guy of the timeline, joins the boys from Indiana. Army ranger's kid, two time state placing wrestler, network engineer turned coach, Ironman in training, and the only man alive who brings his own seasoning to Culver's and calls it a defense.

Episode page: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com/ep5
Website: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DefinitelyBadAdvice
Sponsored by Genesis. Use code DBA at checkout: https://takegenesis.com/DBA

He walks through the high school loss that sent him to the weight room seven days a week, signing up for a marathon with ten pages of Goggins left, a 50 mile ruck through a blizzard on bloody feet, and walking away from corporate IT to coach full time. Mike finally gets his bone to pick about the burgers, Michael confesses he sleeps at 73 degrees, and nobody agrees on whether a mountain lion is fightable.

Then rapid fire: peanut butter and Doritos sandwiches, a squat PR of 620 at 165 pounds, 225 for 225 reps five days after a marathon, Jessica Rabbit, and the most specific answer ever given to the woman for a day question.

Guest: Bailey Schober.

Definitely Bad Advice. Gym, food, fitness and regret, with Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite.

Chapters:
00:00 Sedona and the do hard things trip
01:06 Why he never went military
02:20 Indiana, cornfields and St. Elmo's
03:39 The wrestling loss that lit the fire
06:16 State placings that still haunt him
08:35 Powerlifting, bodybuilding and the hybrid athlete
10:15 Signing up for a marathon off a Goggins book
10:48 The 50 mile ruck in a blizzard
13:24 Network engineer for the mall company
14:17 Leaving corporate for coaching
16:25 Coaching, TRT and blood work
17:21 Mindset and the Grand Canyon rim to rim
19:14 Wrestling camps and wrestling shape
20:48 Dogs, cats and the highway kitten
21:37 Bringing your own seasoning to Culver's
23:39 Rapid fire begins
29:44 Fighting a mountain lion
30:44 Bald eagle for a day
31:27 Waking up as a woman
33:25 Cheating, kids and parenting
34:40 AC temperature wars
35:32 The most gangster way to die
36:18 Cut or bulk
37:12 Fear of heights
39:46 Squat PRs and 225 for 225
41:22 Three lifts for life
43:12 Worst form in the gym
44:55 Worst date ever
45:54 What he eats and Genesis
47:54 Plugs and his last message

KJ, the only fitness, college football and oil painting account on the timeline, joins the boys from Central Florida. Twenty five years of drinking and drugging, sober since 2016, picked up a barbell for the first time at 50, lost the weight right alongside his wife, and still dips chili Fritos in cream cheese.

Episode page: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com/ep4
Website: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DefinitelyBadAdvice
Sponsored by Genesis. Use code DBA at checkout: https://takegenesis.com/DBA

Mike gets torn apart for hating olives after bragging about eating penis, Pepsi vs Coke nearly kills a restaurant before it opens, and KJ waits all episode to drop one word that takes Mike out completely.

Also on the menu: a pitch black theme park bathroom on a first date, a small black bear he swears he can beat, Bob Ross wisdom, and the one rule he lives by. Just try not to be a dick.

Guest: KJ.

Definitely Bad Advice. Gym, food, fitness and regret, with Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite.

Chapters:
00:00 Bob Ross obsession
02:31 From Upstate New York to Central Florida
03:41 Florida heat and thin blood
05:09 Does Hawaii count as service
07:49 Never fit in growing up
09:01 Drinking, drugs and getting sober
11:30 Trading booze for food
13:19 The shoelace moment
14:27 Losing 250 pounds as a couple
15:43 GLP-1s and the maintenance dose
20:05 Skinny fat and the bag of bones look
21:52 Why watch football
24:54 Alani and energy drinks
26:05 Mike hates olives
27:10 Mike's hated foods list
28:57 Pepsi vs Coke
30:43 Rapid fire questions
33:40 The high school car line
34:32 Matching black hats
35:26 Knowing how you die
36:13 Leader of Earth
38:41 Worst financial advice
40:03 Cartoon crush
41:26 Running cost him his toenails
44:40 Favorite lifts
47:13 Worst date ever
49:46 Skinamarink
53:07 His son the cop
57:14 Taking on a black bear
58:54 Alex quit his Bob Ross painting
1:01:09 A lifetime of dissatisfaction

Kristeen is back, fresh from the Texas Takeover weekend where she met the whole timeline in person and found out Mike is a sweetheart online and a dick in real life.

Website: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DefinitelyBadAdvice
Sponsored by Genesis. Use code DBA at checkout: https://takegenesis.com/DBA

The boys roast Alexander's man purse, try to get Mike into a tailored tracksuit (he agrees, for the show only), and settle whether it is syrup or syrup. Michael explains why a suit is the only thing that would make Mike actually hurt somebody.

Then Mike puts the questions to his own wife: a pregnancy craving of mac and cheese, peas and boiled Oscar Mayer hot dogs, her cartoon crush, and why her husband would still drive a 2005 Civic with a billion dollars. Plus two flashbacks to a boys-only show, where the same questions went very badly.

Also: the lobby ambush on Mike, the flight that dropped 10,000 feet, and three months to make a Ukrainian waitress smile.

Guest: Kristeen, back for her second visit.

Definitely Bad Advice. Gym, food, fitness and regret, with Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite.

Chapters:
00:00 Welcome back from Texas
02:05 Sweetheart online, dick in person
03:35 Syrup, not syrup
04:11 Flashback: pancakes, no syrup
07:38 Stories from the weekend
14:53 Man purse and a rifle
18:02 Hey Dudes and a Freudian slip
22:24 A tailored tracksuit for Mike
27:36 Stick to food
29:23 Put Mike in a suit
33:21 Kristeen meets the timeline
41:07 Genesis, with just water
43:35 Rapid fire with Kristeen
47:54 A billion dollars
49:22 Flashback: Airbnb for the homies
52:46 Woke up as a man
53:21 Flashback: woke up as a woman
1:00:34 Mike's worst flight
1:02:08 The lobby ambush
1:04:22 The gym story
1:12:11 Smiling in Ukraine
1:16:47 Wrap

Ian was an Army medic with 10th Mountain Division. Ninety days into his deployment to Afghanistan, he stepped on an IED and came home without his right leg.

Website: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DefinitelyBadAdvice
Sponsored by Genesis. Use code DBA at checkout: https://takegenesis.com/DBA

The three of us spent the opening roasting him before he even logged on. He flipped the whole thing back on us with one question nobody saw coming.

Then he told the story properly: the lieutenant he patched up three weeks earlier, the day it happened to him, the tourniquets, the ambush on the helicopter, and the one image from that day he still laughs about.

Also: why his wife stays off the internet, the P90X years, teaching his 14 year old son to squat, the leg that charges like a phone, and why beans do not belong in chili.

Definitely Bad Advice. Gym, food, fitness and regret, with Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite.

Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:07 New camera, and a Genesis mug
03:07 The affiliate code is live
07:31 Ian arrives
07:53 Ian or Stumpy
08:38 South Georgia, the emo scene, and a band
09:44 Joining the Army at 22
12:43 He gets us back
13:34 Respect, then the story
14:10 Afghanistan
17:48 Three weeks before
24:36 The helicopter
27:00 The films that got it right
29:14 His wife
30:43 The most pointless exercise he was told to do
32:53 2019, and getting back on track
34:20 Remembering Jeep
35:44 The coaches, and teaching his son to squat
38:36 Rapid fire
44:18 The right way to say thank you
46:45 Questions from the comments, and the leg that charges
50:06 Beans in chili
53:28 TRT, and what he actually takes
57:58 Wrap

Michael went to a famous pancake house in Myrtle Beach, ordered pancakes over waffles, and ate them plain because asking for syrup would have taken too long.

Website: https://www.definitelybadadvice.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DefinitelyBadAdvice
Sponsored by Genesis. Use code DBA at checkout: https://takegenesis.com/DBA

This is the episode where he explains that decision, and it gets worse for him every time he speaks. Along the way it emerges that the VA has him officially rated for loss of smell, which retroactively invalidates every food opinion he has ever had.

Also: why you say crab and not crabs, and what happens when you get that wrong at the beach.

Definitely Bad Advice. Gym, food, fitness and regret, with Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite.

Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:07 Lean sticks and a serious energy drink problem
03:07 Michael arrives badly
06:57 Texas, and who is paying for it
07:37 The white monster disagreement
10:03 The VA has him rated for smell
10:57 A bad training take gets dismantled
15:51 The lore of sending Michael things he will hate
17:44 The pancakes
19:19 The syrup defence
20:32 Seven courses vs unsalted chicken
24:00 Crab, not crabs
26:09 The verdict
26:42 Michael's camera gives up