Delete Your Defaults

You wrote down three things you’re grateful for. But did you actually feel anything?

In this episode, we explore appreciation as a choice, why a gratitude practice can turn into another chore, and what changes when you let it touch your heart. Along the way: differing tastes in bacon, the desire hiding inside “I have to,” and a brief pause to practice being “amorphously grateful” together.

We also explore making room for grief, shame, and resistance—and finding something to appreciate even there. Plus, a reminder: your goodness isn’t something you have to earn.

Write to us at [email protected]. Wanna work with one of us? You’ll find us at [email protected] and [email protected].

Produced by Rosa Carson and Aaron Bieber.

In this episode, we explore forgiveness as a practice of freedom: letting go of resentment, taking responsibility for what’s actually yours, and loosening the stories of blame and judgment that keep us stuck.

We talk about forgiving other people, forgiving past versions of ourselves, why responsibility can actually feel good, and how forgiveness makes room for self-trust, possibility, and a whole lot more life.

Delete Your Defaults is our show about hacking your social autopilot. If anything in this episode sparks something for you, we’d love to hear about it at [email protected].

What does it even mean to be “the best” when life is multidimensional, subjective, and constantly changing? In this episode, we unpack the ways our obsession with bestness feeds perfectionism and self-criticism — and how redefining “best” for yourself can make room for more play, resilience, connection, and actual enjoyment.

Along the way: climbing, yoga, Michelin stars, Conan the Barbarian, failure as a practice, and the possibility that even an experience you absolutely did not want may contain something worth finding.

What does “best” mean to you? Tell us at [email protected].

Correction from the future: Boston does, in fact, have a Michelin star now. The Guide arrived in 2025, and 311 Omakase received the city's first. Our tire-company slander otherwise stands.

What is faith when you let go of religion, certainty, and the idea that everything is going according to a predetermined plan?

In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore faith as trust in yourself, in life, and in the adventure of not knowing. We talk about friendly versus neutral universes, the power of mantras, why certainty might ruin the game, and how “losing is part of winning.”

Along the way, we consider what changes when we treat life as an infinite game—one where the point isn’t to defeat everyone else, but to keep playing, enjoy the experience, and create more goodness as we go.

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected]

What if you didn’t have to earn your enoughness?

In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the ways a sense of “not enough” can drive overwork, anxious attachment, perfectionism, blame, and the constant search for external validation. We unpack the difference between fault and responsibility, why discomfort often appears when you begin changing old patterns, and how awareness creates the possibility of choice.

We also offer a gentler path: noticing moments of enoughness, letting them land in the body, releasing the belief that being hard on yourself will make you better, and asking a deceptively powerful question: What if this could be easier—or even more fun?

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].

In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the difference between chasing safety in the outside world and cultivating it within yourself. From anxious text messages and people-pleasing to conflict avoidance and self-criticism, we unpack how many of us mistake the familiar for the safe—and how that keeps us stuck.

The conversation weaves through relationships, self-trust, nervous system regulation, vulnerability, and the surprising role that risk plays in creating genuine security. 

Along the way, we make the case that true safety doesn’t come from controlling other people, avoiding discomfort, or getting everything right but rather from trusting yourself to handle whatever happens.

If you've ever struggled to ask for what you want, speak an uncomfortable truth, navigate conflict, or stop "shoulding" on yourself, this episode offers a powerful reframe: confidence isn't built by succeeding—it's built by surviving failure, repairing ruptures, and learning that you don't abandon yourself when things get hard. 

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].

Join us as we explore the strange, slippery nature of rules: which ones actually matter, which ones are just habits disguised as truth, and why so much of modern life depends on collective agreement more than objective reality. Wander with us through speeding in Boston, jaywalking, airplane seat swaps, recycling myths, corporate theft, public transit etiquette, and the spiritual practice of becoming a little more unruly.

But underneath the humor and tangents is a deeper question: what happens to us when we become too compliant? Rosa shares how rule-following can disconnect us from our own aliveness and personal power, while Aaron argues for a more conscious relationship with the systems we inhabit. Together, we invite listeners to examine the defaults they’ve inherited, question the rules that shape their lives, and reclaim the discernment to decide which ones deserve their obedience — and which ones might be begging to be broken.

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].

Disappointment isn’t the problem—avoiding it is.

In this episode, we explore why disappointment is actually a signal: it shows you what you care about, what you want, and where you’re still making things mean something about you. When you turn it into a verdict on your worth, it sticks. When you’re willing to feel it, it moves—and gives you useful information instead. 

We talk about the link between expectation, attachment, and emotional pain—and how shifting from judgment to curiosity opens up more freedom, energy, and self-trust. What if the goal isn’t to stop feeling disappointment. It’s to stop abandoning yourself when it shows up. 

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].

What if the unknown wasn’t something to fear—but something to meet with curiosity?

In this episode, we explore wonder as a powerful antidote to control, fear, and self-importance. From “what’s the best that could happen?” to loosening your grip on outcomes, we unpack how wonder opens new possibilities—in your choices, your identity, and your capacity to experience life more fully. 

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].

The story suggests that courage feels powerful, but we bust that myth in this conversation.

We talk about why acting in the presence of fear is the real definition of courage, how avoidance quietly shrinks your life, and why expanding your capacity to feel discomfort is the gateway to freedom. From night swimming to skydiving to awkward social risks, we unpack how fear is often more about protecting identity than actual survival—and how moving through it opens up your world. 

We also dive into practical ways to build courage.

Referenced in this episode: Chris Hemsworth (Limitless), Joe Hudson (The Art of Accomplishment).

We love to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].