Dementia Sufferers Captured In Amazing Photos With Their Devoted Dogs Featuring Carmen Davailus

This is such a great program celebrating those with dementia and their families with photos. These photos are made even more special because they are with the dementia sufferer's dog. Even with dementia the dog usually puts a big smile on their owns face and a little spark in their eyes. It's also a life-living keepsake for their families and loved ones.

About Carmen

Carmen Davailus is a consultant and photographer inspiring audiences around the world with humor and her compassionate way of telling stories with images. During her 40-year nursing career, she worked with thousands of people seeking meaning and connection during challenging times and continues to do so with her camera.  

She is an entrepreneur with two businesses, Carmen's Legacy Productions and Doggies for Dementia. She is an international speaker inspiring audiences using photography and story-telling and is an award-winning author of Just See Me-Sacred Stories from the Other Side of Dementia.

Carmen is also an Alzheimer's/Dementia Advocate and founder of Doggies for Dementia Foundation, a 501c3 nonprofit corporation using photography to capture family memories and raise awareness for Alzheimer’s Disease and related Dementia.  Doggies for Dementia has been featured on both NBC and ABC.

www.doggiesfordementia.org

www.AGEUcational.com

About Doggies For Dementia

Doggies for Dementia Foundation is a non-profit that's primary focus is to drive awareness towards dementia. They uniquely do this by capturing candid photos of those affected by dementia surrounded by their loved ones and, of course, their family pet.

Our programs include gifted photography sessions for those impacted by dementia, which typically includes professional matted prints and a video slideshow. Not to worry about the expressions of your loved one or the behavior of your four-legged friend, photo sessions are fun and compassionate in a comfortable and understanding environment with people who are well-versed and knowledgeable regarding dementia.

We also have Portrait Day providing photography sessions and images for those residing long term care (LTC) or in adult care programs. These are shorter sessions, but unsurpassed in beauty and compassion. Dogs may or may not be included in these sessions.

Doggies for Dementia strives to raise awareness in order to reduce stigma, isolation and loneliness. Experts Dig in with Doggies for Dementia is a playlist on our YouTube channel (Doggies for Dementia Foundation). This is where we have candid conversations with experts including family members and professionals.

Carmen Davailus, our founder is a frequent guest at conferences and workshops sharing what families want us to know about living with dementia.

We do all we do with donations and sponsorships, so we count on those who love us to help us help others.

www.doggiesfordementia.org

www.AGEUcational.com

Full Transcript Below

Dementia Sufferers Captured In Amazing Photos With Their Devoted Dogs Featuring Carmen Davailus

Sun, 8/22 11:43AM • 1:01:15

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

dementia, people, dogs, families, Alzheimer, stories, thought, carmen, doggies, care, life, pandemic, happen, world, piece, Instagram, community, pictures, talk, feel

SPEAKERS

Terry, Carmen, Roy Barker

 

Roy Barker  00:00

Hello, and welcome to another episode of AGEUcational This is Roy, this is Terry. So we are chronicling our journey through the aging process, hopefully trying to make some substantial changes now. So we can have a better life. As we, as we do, as you know, we talked about not wanting to outlive our wellness, for sure we want to have a good consistent life with being within our, within our mind, being able to think and also being able to move, you know nothing worse than having to have a serious illness and not being able to get out and do the things that you like to do. So anyway, we're talking a little bit about that. We also talk about things that our parents are bumping up into how we've solved them new things that we figured out, try to bring a little bit of information so you don't have to reinvent the wheel, you know when it's time for you. And another thing is just to let you know that other people are going through this too, so there's always a place to reach out for help. But we also have guests on from time to time and today is no different. And I'm gonna let Terry introduce Carmen.

 

Terry  00:23

Carmen Davailus is is a consultant and photographer inspiring audiences around the world with humor and her compassionate way of telling stories with images. During her 40 year nursing career she worked with 1000s of people seeking meaning and connection during challenging times and continues to do so with her camera. She is an entrepreneur with two businesses, Carmen's Legacy Productions and Doggies for Dementia. She is an international speaker inspiring audiences using photography and storytelling, and is an award-winning author of just see me sacred stories from the other side of dementia. Carmen is also an Alzheimer's dementia advocate, and founder of Doggies for Dementia Foundation, a 501C3 nonprofit corporation, using photography to capture family memories and raise awareness for Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. Doggies for Dementia has been featured on both NBC and ABC. Carmen, welcome to the show. We've been waiting for a long time. Thank you. Thank you. I listened to that. I'm like, wow, 40 years. Yeah. People are always like, Oh, my gosh, what was she talking about? Yeah, it was you? Yes. Yeah.

 

Carmen  02:26

Yeah, 42. Now, tell us a little bit so much. I just have to say it is such a pleasure to be here. Because I know we connected on Instagram. And since then other social media, and I love what you're doing. And it's a treat. It's a treat to be here.

 

Roy Barker  02:44

Well, thanks, now. And that's what really attracted us to you was the you know, we love dogs, we've got a couple. And then the dementia aspect, you know, that's close to Terry's heart, because she lost her dad to that. But also, it's so prevalent now. And it's something that we don't want to think about. We don't really want to deal with it. But unfortunately, sometimes we have to. And so anyway, that and then I think the you know, listening to the intro talking about the pictures, because, you know, that's something else that we try to advocate for is documentation of people's lives. Unfortunately, when people are gone, we realize how not many pictures, how little pictures we have and how much documentation writing what they did for a living and who their parents were what they like, you know, just there's so much about it. Yeah. So anyway, what tell us a little bit from you know, how did you get here from nursing to, you know, doggies for dementia and taking pictures?

 

Carmen  03:42

Sure. Yeah. I so yeah, a lot of time as a nurse and a nurse practitioner even so I, the last decade or so we've been more than that was primarily elderly, so 65 and older. Elderly, older,

 

Terry  04:02

older every time right? Yeah.

 

Carmen  04:03

And I born more of an I did house calls and in some in long term care communities. And not everyone in long term care committee has dementia, of course, but I several of my clients did. And then I started to see more and more and I realized the families just had really unique challenges. And I really wasn't ready to meet that so I needed to learn it. And so we're talking even 10 or 15 years ago, we've come a long way since then, and early diagnosis and such. But it got to then I I worked with a geriatric psychiatrist, dementia, primarily and then neurology, and it was just, I just kept thinking there's got to be more, there's got to be more we can do and I was quite was I worked at Satan, the very last part of my career and they said, Look, if you need 45 minutes for a visit You need to help him out and take it. Just block yourself, which was amazing, right in today's healthcare just really unique and special. And, and I did that when I needed to. And I just felt like, wow, there's just so much so much in stories. And I thought if the world knew about what it was like for them their triumphs and their challenges, we would there would be such less pettiness in the world. Yeah. And I didn't think most people knew because I thought I'm in this world, and I didn't know a lot about it, how does anybody who's not in involved in it know? And so I thought, you know, I'm going to tell these stories. And I, I left to write a book, which I followed 13 families for about two and a half years. And, and I thought, I can't do that without photos. And it was a hobbyist. I always had my camera with me. And it's funny, because I thought, What do I want to do if I ever didn't do this, but what I do, and my camera is right around my neck, you know, I think why did I not think of it? That's my great joy camera. And what I realized is that the photos and I started putting on social media with the families. Yeah, everybody knew. And our mission was to raise awareness and to teach people with this through the stories and to for their legacy. And the ones with dogs always got the most attention. So people would stop and read the stories and learn because they were interested, oh my gosh, get the dog. What's that story about it? When it was people? It's like that, oh, and then that then I thought, Well, why don't we then use that and meet the people where they're at, and include dogs, which are the most fun sessions most of the time anyway, because it's candid, and loving and joyful, or whatever it might be, whatever the dog is doing, and the interaction is natural. And that's how dogs for dementia came about. That is a good four or five years there, you know, and, and things.

 

Roy Barker  07:01

Now, that's cool, because that's a little bit why we started the show, is because the not knowing what you don't know, until you're in the throes of usually a crisis. And that's not, you know, that's it's hard to gather all the information that we have, it's just easier to make poor decisions. And so anyway, I think that's, that's a great mission, because we you know, we want to, that's, again, talking about, you know, somebody has been through this before, if we can share that it may save people some time, we still advocate do your own research. But another thing is start the conversation early. And then if you never have to input anything into action, then you can consider yourself one of the lucky ones. But you know, there's so much there's so many conversations to have wrapped around growing old, not just the dementia part.

 

Carmen  07:52

Yes, yeah. And I think the world is a very lonely place when we feel like we're the only ones going through something. Yeah. And that was one of the common threads and all the family stories and in interviews was the isolation and loneliness. And they felt because people didn't understand or know that well, what if we change that? Yeah. What if we, you know, and I really started to think about the days and is a, even a younger nurse. But it wasn't that long ago, breast cancer wasn't something you even said out loud, right? It was like, oh, female cancer, and you don't talk about it. And women struggle all by themselves. And that changed when people started sharing their stories and getting out there and said, Well, yeah, this can be really difficult. But this can also be really beautiful. And this is what we're going to talk about it has changed dramatically. And I hope I see that in my lifetime when it comes to Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia where the stigma and isolation piece of it isn't something families are going through on top of everything else. Oh, for sure. Um,

 

Terry  08:57

he can you share a couple of stories from the just see me?

 

Carmen  09:02

Sure, sure. So let me think Well, I can tell you one, duty is both my she was in that in the book, her family and they happen to be toward the end of my say, ad where patients of mine too, and her daughter, and she's like, I don't know what to do. And I'm not sure what to do that she was just feeling so lost. And she was doing her best to care for her, both of her parents and to herself and and failing at her taking care of herself completely and getting sicker and sicker. And when I left, I'm like, What would you like to be part of the book, you know? And she's Yes, I have so much to say about that. And so they were their story was in the book and they live in a very small town out in the country and her Judy's grandparents actually helped build this church that's in this very small community like one street and so we did her photo's there. And that's where she grew up her whole life. And it was a big thing. And, and her daughter, Roxanne said to me, she was, you know, I guess you should know, I haven't told anybody that my mom has dementia. We go to church, and we're here, but nobody really knows that she has Alzheimer's. But when your book comes out, that's when they're gonna find out. That's the big reveal. And that's, you know, you

 

Terry  10:23

want you think that you're protecting them by not telling them, but I think people more people know than you think especially expose to them.

 

Carmen  10:33

Oh, yeah, nice. But to her daughter needed that support and, and she just wasn't sure how people were going to react to what was going to happen. And there was a great deal of fear there. And so when it came for the dogs for dementia, she said, You know, my niece has this dog, and so on with the under by Molly and I, and I got out, it's a puppy, a puppy who was very calm. And it was just as soon as they give you they're like giving each other this side looks, you know, and like, I don't know what you're doing here. And I don't know what you're doing here. And it was, it was really sweet. And they loved carrying on their mother's legacy, and the sister and grandmother in the stories and that she was honored in a really beautiful way. That was a real treat for her family.

 

Terry  11:22

And how did the community react? I mean, did they respond? Yeah, yeah, differently than she expected? Or I guess you can't really expect, you know, yeah,

 

Carmen  11:32

I you know, and she learned to ask for help that she needed and that that was okay. Because I think she felt like people weren't going to understand why she needed the help. And well, what's wrong with you? Why can't you take care of your two teenage kids and your father and be a wife and run the ranch and take care of your mother to you know, well, that's a lot anyway.

 

Terry  11:54

And then you add Alzheimers, so his community has rallied and her family supports the Oh, I can imagine especially with with her her mother growing up there her grandmother growing up, it was that way, grandmother mother,

 

Carmen  12:09

if you'd give us her mother? Yeah. Roxanne's mother's duty. And yeah, she was

 

Roy Barker  12:15

on it's kind of a because we don't understand it a lot. You know, one, one note I just jotted down was that sometimes we don't want to see what can happen to us. And so once people find out, their friend has it, sometimes they can actually pull away for two reasons. I think number one, because you don't know how to act instead of just acting like you always have, we think we got to say the right thing or do this thing. But really just that love and being close is really what they need. And then also, sometimes we don't want to see our future. And so it scares people that it's like, poof, you know, I can't be around it. Because it frightens me.

 

Carmen  12:55

Yeah, the most moving story that had to do with that was David and Joan. And I had seen him a few times in the office too, but I didn't know them well, and I had gone to their house to do this interview and join me then David is, was the journalist and lost his ability to speak who we thought he could understand pretty well, but he couldn't express himself or write and which just had to be terrible for someone who's a journalist, you know, and, and his wife, and they're just both brilliant. And she answers the door, and I've got my stuff, you know, and I'm excited about for the book. And she goes, I know, you think you're going to write another fluff piece here, but I'm going to tell you, I'm going to be real about how this is. And she really kind of let me have it and undo that. And she, she has, so you're gonna leave now. And I'm like, No, I'm really here for the truth. Let's talk about this. And she was really one of the first ones that was brutally honest about the impact of the people as she's talked about, who said, Well, I want to remember him the way he was. So I'm not going to, or I'm not sure what to say I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. So I'm not going to come over and their friends just just physically moved away. You know, and, and it was so painful for both of them who had been very social and active in their community. And she described it in such a way that in fact, their story is the one most people will contact me about that. And, you know, of course, if I followed up and it all came out, you know, she's like, I can't believe you actually came in after that conversation on the porch like that. That's really what we wanted to have, you know, and, and now, I just love them so and, and, and I, you know, I appreciate it, that the candor and it was so wrong, their pain and and he wasn't able to express himself, but you could see it in his face. Yeah. How would that be? Yeah. Oh, I

 

Terry  14:56

love that story. It's making me tear up just thinking about it.

 

Carmen  14:59

Yeah. He could play harmonica. So his dog Luna when he played harmonica, Luna would how long or so they were one of the first with a dog in the image because Luna just showed up. Ben was singing along and I thought well, like, interesting. Yeah, so there are no, you know, there's no coincidences, that was just

 

Roy Barker  15:21

one again, it's, we feel the way we feel. And so again, letting other people know that it's okay, you have to work through this. It's not always going to be, you know, that happy story that we would love it to be. But again, here are some things that maybe you can do to navigate that situation. So I think those are probably as helpful to people that are, you know, starting the dementia journey than anything.

 

Carmen  15:48

Yeah. Yeah, it is hard. It's hard stuff, there's more resources, but it just doesn't make it that it's going to be an easy journey. And so it just means

 

Terry  15:59

there's more noise. I mean, there's so much more.

 

Roy Barker  16:04

But the cool thing we've noticed on Instagram, and we've actually had a cup, we've got had one on and I think we've got one coming up, but caregivers, and this one, the one we talked to happened to be a grandchild, who is caring for grandma. And what really struck us about her was one where she had a treadmill in the room. And then you could see grandmother over kind of to the right of the picture, sitting in a chair with her bowl of cereal. And she was just saying, you know, trying to talk about keeping your days normal, and you know how to work through it. So she had figured out, she could sit Graham over there and eat her cereal while she was doing her walking or running. And so, you know, those are, I think that's another great thing is people are starting to put more of these out on social media for the public to see that you know what, it may not be the same as normal, but it's going to be a new normal, and you can figure out ways to overcome some of these hurdles that we're going to run.

 

Terry  17:06

You don't know where the help could come from. I mean, you could get help from that just sharing your story and being accountable. And you just never know who is going to be touched by which part of your story. That's right. And that's what I love about doggies for dementia. And oh my gosh.

 

Carmen  17:25

Thank you. I'm a dog lover too. So it's like a natural and people are thinking that my dog Sparky is going to be the one in their pictures and like, wow, I'm not the best mom. A dog Mommy, you know?

 

Terry  17:41

Well, like energy, that same as ours. And I have to tell you, I have been I mean, ever since I can remember we always had dogs growing up. And I, I always went and found went through the want wanted Circle Circle them went and bought a puppy, you know, I would go and buy a little puppy and bring it home and say that it followed me in the park. There's no way I could leave it. It was raining. I couldn't do it. So I would always find a reason to go and get another dog. I could never have too many. You know, some of them. We had to, you know, rehome two other children who didn't have dogs. That's how my mom would explain it. After she yelled at me for bringing another one. But yeah, and dad and I have to tell you dad would be Oh, you shouldn't be doing that. You know, just behind mom going? Yes, yes, yes. And then Who's Who? laughs whose lap is the dog in every time I come home, I came home, you know, that's exactly how it was. And he would have a dog in his lap and he would be holding the bone for him to chew on in his lap. You know? Yeah,

 

Carmen  18:50

partner. But I wonder sometimes if dogs don't sense, like, who needs the most today? Most love today? And that's where they're going. And they're just all over that. And I think you're right. Yeah.

 

Roy Barker  19:01

Well, my stepfather is starting to suffer from dementia. And it's funny because you know, you're from Texas, too. So you remember the February freeze out? You know, we were we were without power for about a week. And so luckily, we stayed at my mom and stepdads and they never lost power. So we were very lucky. But we had the two dogs and you know, we were concerned about they're not little dogs are big dogs. And they're very personal. They want to get in your space and jump on you and love you and all that, which is cool for us. But you know, we were worried about how they were going to interact. And he, I don't I don't know that he'd ever had they had never had dogs that I can remember. But it was amazing because he was so fascinated by them that he couldn't hit. That's all he could focus on was do they get along? Do they eat too? You know, just all of these questions and then even four You know, maybe a month after that was over every time we would see them, he always asked how the dogs you know, and so we took them over there a couple times just so he could see them. But it was an interesting interaction and result of something that I didn't think it was gonna go that way.

 

Carmen  20:19

Yeah, I, people often ask, do do I supply the dogs? Do we supply the doctor? But no, that's families, it has to be a familiar dog of sensor, because you just don't know how it would go otherwise. So there's gotta be some familiarity. But the other piece of it even then you just don't know how it's gonna go, or what's going to be of interest. And that alone is intriguing. Because it's, it's, there are no expectations, which is a real blessing, by the way for the people with dementia as well. They don't have nobody's looking for them to do anything to how they are. Which, especially in earlier stages, there's some pressure there that people are watching me, or am I going to say the wrong thing or, and, and families might feel that way, when someone else is present, like or you know what's going to happen, which is probably the good thing that I have that experience and like it doesn't, nothing's gonna, nothing's gonna, hey, I get it. That's just how it is, this is your place to be you. And, and when you add a dog to that mix, it's just like, it's just this. It's it's like the perfect moments for me. And people will say, like, Do you always smile? And like, you know, it's like the cameras and mokdad I'm always smiling is just it for me.

 

Roy Barker  21:40

So did you notice? Did you notice any, any behaviors of the dogs or the people? Because I didn't know if the if the dog consents that the person is sick if the dog stays very close to them, and it's like always right with them? Or did? Did they maybe move away? Or did you notice any? Have you noticed anything about like that?

 

Carmen  22:02

No, not so much. I mean, obviously, we're setting it up, we let what happens happen, but we're setting it up in a location and I've got the lights but you know, continuous lights and no flashes. And we let everybody get used to the lights and me being there pretty soon they forget on there. Because then they're just, you know, playful and being what they are. You know, I've observed that at other times, but not not further shoots so much. There. It's just the it's, there's their interaction, which is unique to all of them. Yeah, I know, my dog did, I was sick. The beginning of the pandemic, I was diagnosed with cancer, and I am pretty sure my dogs knew before I even knew, and I thought they are so clingy. They just want me alone and like I'm tripping over them, like what the heck is going on? And I really think they sense something is not right.

 

Roy Barker  22:58

I have heard that before that. They, they can sense. There are some dogs that are very sensitive to some forms of cancer. And then also, it's not a dog. But as what cat I'm not a big cat person don't mean not that dislike I want to just more of a dog person or

 

Terry  23:14

just more independent. But there

 

Roy Barker  23:16

was a nursing home that had a cat. And this cat would go to the person who was dying and curl up with them. And so they they would usually give like a two to three days to a week notice that you know this person is going to pass. And then everybody the people who are healthy or got nervous every time they saw that cat coming down the hall, stopping in my room.

 

Carmen  23:45

Keep that cat away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's a really good question. Because I'm thinking I, you know, we set up we know the dogs were familiar with everyone that we were able to do sessions with. But it did see that even puppies were really subdued and are not wild puppies around the person with dementia they were with there was like there was a connection there. Which is why I was talking about with Judy, they just kind of give each other side I like I don't know what this is about. But, you know, we're here. And some of the looks at each other. We're just like, identical to one another. I don't know mirroring or what, but

 

Roy Barker  24:24

that's the awesome thing about dogs, though is that, you know, I was thinking, again, leading up to this just been thinking a lot about, you know, the dogs are dogs, they never have a bad day. They're always they're always happy to see you. You know, no matter how you feel. They're always there. And and, you know, I guess it goes with that emotional support mechanism that a lot of people have animals for but how can you be upset or not feel good when you have this animal that just can't give you enough love? And it's

 

Terry  24:54

not so so unconditional?

 

24:56

Yeah.

 

Terry  24:57

I wanted to ask you Carmen. How are you? Health now.

 

Carmen  25:01

Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. I had surgery and recovered and I'm good out. Thankfully, it was best of the worst. So yeah, during a pandemic of all. myself at the time, I'm like, oh, my goodness, and my dogs were just such good company. They for me during during that time, well all the time, but it's definitely during that time, I thought, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my dogs on lockdown. And for other people I knew who lived alone during the lockdown. I thought oh, and I saw people getting dogs and they're good for you. Because it really means a lot. No.

 

Terry  25:45

Yeah. And then I was going to also ask you, you just pretty recently got a received a donation for doggies for dementia. The foundation, correct?

 

Carmen  25:57

Yeah, well, we have ongoing fundraisers here. And there, we scheels which is a large depart. tournaments are a sporting good store. I guess they're really huge in the Midwest, and now they're there in Dallas. Yeah. And I've never seen anything so huge in my life. And yeah, so we've got a wonderful donation from them, and some recognition and things which, which we, you know, we were thrilled about, so it's so cool.

 

Terry  26:25

Yes, that's great. And, you know, we,

 

Carmen  26:28

you know, the the the beauty of social media, you know, I know, there's a lot of bad people, but I personally, it has connected me to people all around the world even more than ever before. And we get donations and comments and, and just beautiful letters from people from everywhere, just from everywhere. And so small or big. Each one is like when we have our board meetings, and we go through it, you know, it's just really touches our hearts. So

 

Roy Barker  27:04

yeah, I was looking in your background, you've got some pictures I see. But also, it looks like a painting, do you as well,

 

Carmen  27:11

I don't know. See, this is Yeah, I met a gal on Instagram. And it's art for all with the four and she, it was raising money for the walk, that she doesn't honor her grandmother who had Alzheimer's. And during the lockdown, and all she has, I think a four or five year old son. He might be a little older, but he around that age. And she's like, what do we do? You know, they're they're in board. And she had never painted before. And they started painting things. And then she sells them on Instagram for like $25 these hand painted pieces that she and her son made to help raise money for her walk. And I saw the dog and I thought oh, well, I know where that. Yeah, yeah. So I met her and we did a little program. And yeah, she's just just one of those really beautiful things. Yeah. Well, so I don't

 

Roy Barker  28:09

know, I decided was surrounded by the photos. So I wasn't sure. Yeah. So what's next for doggies for dementia? I mean, where where are you hoping to grow? Take this? What's the future look like?

 

Carmen  28:21

Yeah, you know, the, the pandemic is hit us really hard. We really needed to so from going because our population is vulnerable. And to go and do photographs was out of the question. Well, especially in long term care communities, we can still go to people's homes, of course, and we do those. But for long term care of it even that was super careful. And so we kind of we looked at our mission is that it's about raising awareness. And we have a YouTube channel that we're doing programs and our blogs and things and so for us that we're anxious to get out and start telling stories again, and and meeting people and doing the photographs. And also as things open, we're looking to train other photographers around the country who'd like to be a part of this to be a part of the doggies for dementia group and to take that to their communities as well. It's as much as I love to travel. I can't be everywhere. Yeah, and I think that is our next big thing is to start adding some volunteer photographers. I'm going to begin in Texas, we're going to be getting close and you know and grow slowly as we do but

 

Terry  29:40

the end that's Do you already have have photographers and other states as well or is it just in Texas for now?

 

Carmen  29:48

Yeah, as you know, we are as far as a nonprofit is concerned. I did the paperwork for this in March of 2020. So

 

Terry  29:57

okay, yeah. not rushing in. Oh,

 

Carmen  30:01

yeah, that not it was like three weeks or two weeks before the lockdown? No, it's uh, we've been working on it filed the papers, and then the lockdown things happened. And so a lot of our plans and I had done shoots before that it was part dogs for tonight we were an official, nonprofit, although I did it under my for profit business that always free for families as it is now. It's always free for families. And I was funding it, but we just officially made it a nonprofit, and then the lockdown, and you know, we want to protect our people, and we want people to be safe. And so yeah, so even if we have some people who are interested, but we've got to have practice sessions and people right out there. Yeah. And I have, I think three different communities that are all signed up and ready for September October sessions, especially for Alzheimer's awareness, which I'm thrilled about, yes. And then we have the increasing numbers. So I don't think those are going to happen,

 

Roy Barker  31:10

you know, that's been a double edged sword for, I think, for seniors, all seniors, and then those with dementia is that, you know, they are vulnerable, we don't want to, you know, bring the outside germs into them or virus or however, but again, that loneliness is so devastating for them as well that, you know, it's really does my heart good to see these families that have found creative ways to, you know, be outside the window and go see their, their loved ones. And so we really need to think outside the box, you know, if this is going to get bad, again, how we can continue to have some kind of a human content, maybe not contact, but human interaction through a glass or whatever. And it's a great thing about, you know, not if the pandemic had to happen, now's an awesome time because we have technology. So at least if the the seniors can make the can FaceTime work, that's great. Or, you know, staff can help them do the FaceTime, we can at least see people and have a little bit of interaction, I saw one community that they had gone out and bought a bunch of orchestra music holder stands, and then a bunch of iPads. And so they would take, they'd all get it all set up and then take that and set it by the you know, senior where they could interact with their family. So a lot of creative ways to do that.

 

Carmen  32:35

Yeah, I it is brought up some huge crisis, actually, and really made a stop and look, how do these are what we say we value, and how do we carry through and our values and how we care for our senior citizens and the United States. And it's really across the world that I'll talk about what I know. And looking at, do we primarily focus on the physical health only and the protection and isolation and this when we saw people, and I can tell you like Carol, there are pictures behind these vibrant, she's, you know, 90 something and we celebrate her birthday and the isolation, just just cause such a decline that unbelievable is and quickly. And so we're recognizing that, hey, maybe we need to think about emotional health do which we always said we valued, but then you What do we do? And no do because this was a new video, who thought we would have a pandemic and all of these things. And so you know, not looking at blaming, it's like, okay, now we got to really think and you're right about that. Now we got to really think about where our values how are we going to manage this? And how do we take care of people in a holistic way that their emotional needs and family needs? and physical safety? Yeah, where's that going to be? And who is going to determine that?

 

Roy Barker  34:03

Yeah, yeah, cuz we Who would have ever thought it would have gone, you know, because in March of 2020, I think everybody fully expected that, you know, it's gonna be bad through the summer, but then by, you know, the fall, it was gonna be better. But then, you know, as we started getting through April, and may, then people realize, oh, not gonna be over that. And then now we've got this new variant that's out there. So it's like, well, how, you know, and I don't know, everywhere, but like, our numbers here in DFW are skyrocketing. And they expected the younger kids to actually surpass the peaks that we had, you know, at the fall of last year. So anyway, you know, it's like, then how many more variants are going to come along? And so I guess at some point, we have to say, maybe this is the new normal, even though we don't like it and wouldn't want it. So we got to figure out those ways to, you know, take care of everybody.

 

Carmen  34:55

Yeah, and you know, we're a society that has really never, never had to face Any kind of pandemic plague anything. So the our thought is, well, typically you get sick, you take a pill, and then you're back to normal and everything's back to normal. But it's different than that. And it's gonna require a whole shift in mindset and like, Okay, this is what needs to happen. And this is and then readjust. And it I know families are many families are very involved in movements to change what's considered who's considered primary caregivers who can for especially for long term cares, because many didn't see their families for their loved one for like six months. Yeah, yeah. And they were watching through the window. And literally not not to be I don't want to go on to the negative side here. But some only saw their loved one, they said, we're given a choice. You can see them now. Or they're declining. You can see them, like shortly before their death. And I mean, like, shortly before, like hours, they had to make a choice.

 

Terry  36:03

Yeah. And I do both. Because twice. And do you remember, I think, I think her name was married Daniel, where she, her husband was in a facility and she ended up a, you know, a professional, many very educated, ended up getting a job in the kitchen of the home facility. So she could visit her husband in.

 

Carmen  36:28

Yeah. And she formed a group it was a caregivers for compromised, I believe, yes, family. Yeah. And then in every state, it was a one group. And then there were so many people, each state has their own. And I went to the Texas group, one to hear about it and to record their stories. That's our mission to like, let me hear your story. So I kept a distance, we're at the courthouse and I walked away to change the person because I did not know what it was like for some of the families in because it was such a it's such an unknown how to handle it. Do the local communities, do they listen to your corporate? Do they listen to CDC? Is it the state guidelines? Or is it the federal guidelines? How are they supposed to? How are they and so you might want to go down the street and they have different roles than the way um, you know, so it's kind of like, okay, when we know better, we'll do better. And families are really taking really some strong action to and she's, and she's quite, she's quite vocal, by the way,

 

Terry  37:32

it's at the forefront. She certainly is. I am wasting all of her. I mean, not enjoy, but I mean, I enjoyed learning about everything that she's she's trying to lobby for, and all the changes she's trying to make. I

 

Carmen  37:44

think solidly. Yeah, they really inspiration. Yes, I read the stories. I listen, I'm like, I know.

 

Roy Barker  37:52

Yeah, I meant to ask you before we started, if it would be okay to ask you this question. But since we're already in the you choose not to respond. I definitely understand that. But, you know, Terry did some research on this new Alzheimer's? I do. And some stuff that's come out since then. not been not been supportive. Let's put it that way. Anyway, I just thought, you know, since you were a nurse practitioner, and you've got the medical lab to look at this. And do Would you mind sharing your opinion with us?

 

Carmen  38:34

Sure. I don't, I will say I, I have a good friend who has early onset Alzheimer's. And he and his dog, buddy were part of our photo, and he lives in New Jersey and Jeff barkoff, and he's been an Alzheimer's Association. One of their advocates and things and when I visited he, his wife and and he so it's been, he's been in the trial program. So I want to say it's been almost almost two years than I was there so well before this time. And the trials and for them, he's, I think 5657 at the time, and his wife is a little younger, and she's, you know, actively working, and their lifestyle changed dramatically. And the the hope that was put into the trial and the drug that it would make a difference was beyond words and what it meant. And so sometimes, you know, they're wondering like, I don't know if it's helping, maybe it is we don't know what would happen if it wasn't you know, if he wasn't taking but he continued on the trials and and so knowing that and then watching and and knowing when they stop the drug trials, what that meant to them, and then continue to what I know about it scientifically is very little, very little to say. We kind of hung up my white coat and you know, I I read things and see I don't really have a strong opinion about that. But what I do know is the emotions that and the people's lives that are riding on this, this dog as well as some others, but this one in particular. And when I read that this has changed, or that has changed, I'm just thinking about what is that like sitting at the table or drinking coffee with them? You know, hearing this?

 

Roy Barker  40:25

Thank you right there, I've always felt like that was one of the big effort was to push it through was not. And not that we're not that it would or wouldn't work necessarily, there was a hope that it would work. And bringing hope to people is sometimes, you know, that's a huge impact. And I don't know, it's like everything else, if you have this positive aspect of even when you're ill, maybe you don't get cured, but maybe you live a better life of what you have. And so I think that's a that is one aspect of this, that you really can't put dollar sign on. But then the other part of that is the false hope, you know, are we giving people false hope? And I don't know, it was just bizarre, the way you know what little we're about it, and we haven't really followed up the last month or so. But with the committee, I think most of the committee that was involved that said, No, we don't want it, you know, they've all resigned and just it is it was kind of an odd situation to have so much turmoil in a regulatory agency.

 

Terry  41:27

Yeah, about, right, a lot of light. Yeah. A little light into the FDA and their processes and procedures, and everybody kind of gears it toward whichever outcome that they're hoping for. And maybe it's run, you know, a big pharma thing. So it's like, oh, so,

 

Carmen  41:46

but as it's, it's so confusing, and I want to save and say, as a nurse practitioner, what I do know when I'm faced with famines ago, what can we do? We had medicines, we thought might slow it down, but not for everybody, right? And I'd say now they're going to how we're going to know that it helps if it's meant to slow it down and not make it better. Right? Because for some people, they might make it better, but not all, and I didn't want to say yes, it's gonna make it better, because I can't I can't even guarantee that at all. I can't even I don't that was like a unusual or unusual. And so I say like, this is the best we have. This is the best we have right now. We think it can help. It's worth a try. And if there's any bad, you know, if there's interact, if they don't do well with it, clearly we stop it. And then they say, well, in a year or two, how are we know if it sometimes if we stop that they get worse again, but we don't know who that's going to happen to? It's horribly cruel. It's horribly cruel. And they're like, well, do I stop it and let nature take its course? Are they going to get worse right away? Like, maybe? So that's the reality of what we do have?

 

Terry  42:56

Yeah. Right. And I

 

Carmen  42:59

go ahead. No, I was gonna say that is what we do know is that when I'm hearing this other things, and like, that's not that much different than what we already do know. And we're telling people, we really hope it helps, but we don't know.

 

Terry  43:11

Yeah, we're not sure.

 

Carmen  43:12

Yeah, there's no sorry, God. It's all we've got. And that's all they have to look forward to. It's like, if I don't have, if I take it now and it helps, then maybe I'll have a better, longer life with my family. And we're talking sometimes people in their 40s and 50s. Here. Yeah, yeah. Where it seems like yeah, I'm willing to take the chance. I'll take the chance. And if it doesn't work well, that I at least

 

Terry  43:35

I try. You don't have any other you just don't have any other options. My my dad, have we lost him in 2014. And he's he suffered from it. It was dementia, it picks disease, dementia. So he was on Aricept for many years. And it seemed to help for a while. But I if he were around now I has his daughter would say whatever it takes, there is no other option. I mean, there's nothing else. And if he takes it, maybe it helps them. Maybe it speeds up the process, whatever. If he doesn't, then definitely nothing's going to happen. I mean, he's going to continue to progress with this disease, and he's going to pass away without any other option available to him. So I would be grasping at straws, you know, wanting to to him to do whatever necessary to keep them around cell phone.

 

Carmen  44:35

Yeah. And I think again, because we are a society if we take a pill and it makes it better. Yes. And this is not the case with dementia yet. We don't have that. I don't think that's a common knowledge for the general public unless you've experienced it. What it's like to have nothing, no hope at all until there's a little bit of hope. And,

 

Roy Barker  44:55

and I think a message maybe to younger people is to clean up Clean up your lifestyle make some changes. Not Not that, you know, I don't know, there's, I think I'm not sure if they've ever really come down on, you know, hereditary versus lifestyle, but I do know that there are a lot of things that we can control that, you know, there's some research I've done years ago was that a lot of this Alzheimer's became more prevalent after the low fat diet craze of the 70s. And that, you know, maybe the fat, I've read some research and actually went and heard a presentation about, you know, coconut oil and the use of that trying to, you know, we've cut out so much of the fat that that's one thing that supposedly, I guess attacks your brain. Yeah,

 

Terry  45:47

that's the problem, right? fat that you need that omega sixes and threes, and nines, and all of that. So if we can get the younger people to start eating, you know, more organically and for brain health, gut health, all of that, instead of eating processed everything and moving and exercising some

 

Carmen  46:06

Yeah. So there's, there's a psychologist, I've had a few interviews with on our program, who works with people with mild cognitive impairment quite a bit and, and just for people who are aging, and he's just like, well, healthy body healthy mind to start with, right. And so the Yes, the moving the socialization, you know, healthy eating, it's the whole again, that whole all of allistic that, because what happens in the body happens in the brain, and vice versa. And so it was kind of like, okay, that at least can it can help you can help our bodies resist

 

Roy Barker  46:49

disease, sleep, sleep is important as well, I think that Terry did turn up a study a couple of weeks ago about the sleep deprived, and you know what, how that raises our chances.

 

Carmen  47:04

And that, you know, and so many people, and probably some of your listeners are in that sandwich generation and similar to to Roxanne I was talking about caring for their children and their parents and themselves. Yeah, and the ones that usually get left out are themselves.

 

Roy Barker  47:20

Yep. Again, sure we'll do another message for the caregivers is that is so important for them. Because there used to be, there was a study one time that said, For those that are, you know, some of the worst dementia patients, their caregivers will die 80% of the time before the actual dementia patient will die, or their loved one. So that gets back to self care. And you know, we there are great respite programs, there are people that are willing to help but have to know what's out there. And you have to be you have to understand if you're not here, who is going to take care of your loved one. So that should be some motivation to you know, really focus on self care, where you can take the best care of your loved one as possible.

 

Carmen  48:05

Yeah. And it's a challenging thing. And for a lot of people, it's learning self care a new Yes. I never really thought about it. especially women, they're like, I like, yeah, this is really hard. And it's like, yeah, like how do you be a daughter to your mother, when you really are more of a mother? You do you have to be more motherly? And is that 24? Seven? And it's, it's it's a constant thing and a while you're caring for your children and yourself.

 

Terry  48:38

Yeah. And it's not so mean someone that's selfish to take care of yourself. You have to reframe yourself think okay, yeah. And the guilt part of it. I mean, it's not that we're trying to guilt you and but whatever works. I mean, if you need to be guilted into it, take care of yourself.

 

Carmen  48:57

Yeah, and I know it's as I traveled with a friend of mine who spoke and he early onset Alzheimer's is younger than me. And when we would, we had like two or three places in a row. So I was there. And I was, like, caring for him. But he did really well. But there were times he wasn't. And I remember one afternoon, I was just like, you know what, I'm going to kick myself for ever saying to people, you got to take your carry yourself even take five minutes, because I didn't even have five minutes to take care at that. It was like there was something happening. Like if I were to take a shower, I heard like, what happened to the coffee? And you know, like, well, you should about me, the kind of coffee maker and used to and I had just done that. And that was it. You know, and it just is and then the next day, it's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. Oh, yeah, buddy. I got it.

 

49:51

Oh, there it is. There it is. There it is. Yeah.

 

Roy Barker  49:57

Well, thanks for that digression. I know You know, it's just good to get get your opinion as well. You know, since you're out there working with a lot of people with dementia in their family, so thank you for digressing with us and giving us your opinions there. All right, well, a couple things. One is a tool or a habit. What is something that you do every day that you feel adds a lot of value to your life?

 

Carmen  50:23

Well, I know it seems kind of funny because it's what I do for a living too. But for me to go out in nature and photograph, just walk see the flowers, I get down on the ground, I look at all different angles to me, I can lose hours, and it doesn't even seem like it. And just kind of one with the bees and never been stung. I've been surrounded. And is that to me? It's just, yeah, the most peaceful thing. And my dogs Sparky, of course. Yeah.

 

Roy Barker  50:54

Yeah. It's funny, because, you know, we moved out to a very unique place a year a few years ago now. And you know, Terry is not a Pioneer Woman. And I don't think she minds me saying that out loud. But it is amazing. Just the quality of life because you know, we she has a little herd of deer that she takes care of. And we've got a family of raccoons that come out at night and go to the feeder and try to eat corn. Yeah. Do you know armadillos, all this stuff? And it's just amazing to be able to step out and just enjoy the world that is around us. For sure.

 

Terry  51:32

Deep breath just yelling and exhaling and the trees and not the snakes. Not still not fancy, though.

 

Carmen  51:41

Now that's where I draw the line on this. Yeah, I wear my boots. Oh,

 

Terry  51:47

yes, I am a little up girl. But it is it has made a huge difference. Just being out here. The stillness, the sounds, the smells, the I mean, just everything is just made a huge difference. Sounds wonderful. Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on. We're not that far. Yeah, we will be headed that way soon. Very soon. Yeah.

 

Roy Barker  52:14

All right, Carmen, well, tell us a little bit about Doggies for Dementia. And then tell us also about the photography and you know, what you do, who you'd like to work with? How you can help? And of course, how they can reach out and get a hold of and also the foundation? Just tell us tell us a little bit about everything you got going on?

 

Carmen  52:31

Okay. That's a lot, right. I would just say, um, so definitely, for families that are impacted by dementia, the Doggies for Dementia program. It's a redo actually, for most it's two photo sessions, one with the dog and it that might be I mean, I take my time to make sure everybody's comfortable, and there's no hurry, no worry. And we go with it, how it goes. And and then I usually come back a week or two later and show those photos and we have a video slideshows. So I have a couple cameras going on, including the one I have in my hand and a video camera over my shoulder. Because I realized that people say the most amazing things, when I'm taking still pictures. I just haven't going out. And yeah, and that is often a real huge highlight for people to have, and especially as time goes on, and their loved ones no longer there to have their voice and the video and things and you know, there's never a charge for families. We Our goal is for our videos and our images to go viral. We want that we want the world to understand dementia and to hear their story and to honor their loved ones. And so that's, you know, the only piece of that, and we're very flexible. I have gone all over Texas, and I'm even going to make a Georgia and another month to do a shoot there. So it's really just kind of depends. And my husband and I were just like, let's go, let's just go and, and so I'm vaccinated, I always wear a mask, and we're quite careful. We keep our distance and knowing it's more difficult in communities, but it depends but certainly in people's homes we do can do that. So that's the doggies for dementia. We don't ask families even to donate or to we really want to honor their loved one in that way if they wish to. They can but there's really are there's really no expectation there. We're funded by donations and sponsorships of companies businesses that love the idea and want to help fund that and so we're always open to that. That's the piece for Doggies for Dementia and the nonprofit. I phone so let's say a family says we would love to do this with my my mom or my dad or whoever it might be but we really don't want that be really public. I do that and my for profit business, Carmen's Legacy Productions and their special pricing for families impacted by dementia. So they can still do it. And we don't we don't go public with it's it's our it's our thing and it's just as beautiful. It's just we're not. It's just not part of the social media.

 

Roy Barker  55:18

Okay. Okay. That's awesome.

 

Terry  55:20

And your website is

 

55:23

Doggies for Dementia.org Doggies for Dementia.org. And we're on Instagram and Facebook. And under Carmen Davailus is on LinkedIn. Twitter is Doggies for Dementia. I don't do a lot with Twitter. So I don't talk about that. Yeah. Yeah, we have a YouTube a video blog, we call it Experts Dig In With Doggies For dementia, we talk in fact, you guys need to be our guest to do we talk about people doing amazing things and to help families for for some information for family, family, caregivers, and, and others impacted by dementia. So all different walks of life, including families,

 

Terry  56:06

families, and you have I noticed behind you, you have one of your Well, you have a couple of books. Do you want one? Or do you want to hold them up? Sure. So just as

 

Carmen  56:18

Yeah, this is the one I say I left my nursing career for. I continue to heal on the you know, with the camera. And so this one has 13 different stories, unique stories. And you know, when I thought in like 30 families, I met them and hear a lot of the same and I didn't in what I realized and what how the name came about then was I'm sitting there in my living room with 13 piles of paper and the audio tapes. And I'm like, how do these? How are we connected other than dementia? Because I really didn't want it to be all about dementia. I wanted it to be about challenges and triumphs, and what are people doing and it just happened to be a dementia was that one common thread and, and then I realized, like there were 13 different spiritual needs. We have spiritual, basic spiritual needs that we have similar to our physical and emotional needs and spiritual needs. And each one had like a crisis of that spiritual need, that they work through to resolve. Interesting. Yeah. And that was my master's was in spirituality and health care and why it took me so long to see that as I'm sitting there, and I thought, Oh my gosh, this is like 123. All and that's how it came about and why I needed the sacred stories from the other side of dementia.

 

Terry  57:38

Yeah, that gives me goose bumps and it all it just always comes full circle, doesn't it?

 

Carmen  57:45

Right there. Yeah, yeah, it is. And in even, you know, up until the time I thought, I'm gonna write this book, I was in the clinic, I really thought I would retire until well beyond, you know, 5455 whatever I was then and in a family had come in and their story touched me so. And I thought somebody again, I thought somebody needs to tell these stories. And I got no, I need to write a book and suddenly like the idea, by the time I'm driving home from work, I had a plan in mind. And, you know, I better take a photography class better at least. I've never written a book, I don't know what made me think I could write a book or do any of that. It's a good thing. I didn't know all that went into that. Until I was just like, on this, I felt like the Blues Brothers. I'm on a mission from God. Just was like such an epiphany and which was not really in character for me.

 

Terry  58:45

Were you saying Heidi had he had

 

Carmen  58:48

it in my head, I feel driven like that. I just have to do this. And I don't know what it's going to take. But I know pieces are going to fall into place. And it's going to happen. And I and as I've transitioned, you know, through because it took a while I transition from one world of the clinical world to the other and there was a big blend in there. I don't know if I've ever been happier and what I'm doing every day. I'm so excited to get up and do

 

Roy Barker  59:20

another one of the many messages is that, you know, there's always things that we can do and sometimes we feel caught in our life. But you know, we can follow our heart follow our passion. And I think that's the biggest reward is just feeling happy and satisfied with what you get up and do. Oh my gosh, so lucky.

 

Carmen  59:40

Congratulations. I can't thank ya. I say it made a huge financial change in my life. Yeah, I think it extended my life quite especially quality. I hope quantity too because just it's just been Yeah, I just wake up excited.

 

Terry  59:59

That's great. Well, we thank you for sharing all of the photos sharing your stories here today but go on Carmen's Instagram Doggies for Dementia or Facebook or, or Twitter wherever you go, just go there so enlightening, and it's just so touching. Yes.

 

Roy Barker  1:00:19

Yeah. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to talk with us. It's been a pleasure. It's always My pleasure. Thank you. All right, well, that's gonna do it. for another episode of AGEUcational Of course, you can find us at www.AGEUcational.com we're on all the major podcast platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Spotify, if we're not a one that you listen to reach out, be glad to add it to make it easier for you to listen to us every week. Also, we're on all the major social media platforms, we probably hang out on Instagram a little more than others. So reach out to us there. We'd love to interact with you. Also, a video of this interview will go up on YouTube when the episode goes live. So go over there and check. Check that out as well as some of our previous guests. Until next time, that's gonna do it for us. Take care of yourself and take care of your health.

www.doggiesfordementia.org

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