Every day you go for a run.

Sometimes you feel yourself lagging, so you imagine there’s a tiger on your tail, and that adrenaline gives you a turbo boost.

Sometimes you feel like quitting, so you picture a pot of gold at the end, and that helps you finish.

A running expert says you should act like you’re running on hot coals, to keep you on the front of your feet.

You try it, and it improves your stamina and energy.

Sometimes, just for a change, you try running barefoot, or with your eyes closed, or with your arms out like an airplane.

Every time you hear or think of a new way to run, you try it to see how it works and how you feel.

The variety is fun.

All you changed was the image in your mind, and that changed your emotions and actions.

Ideas and beliefs are tools.

Choose them for the desired effect.

I’m pretty bad at bowling and frisbee.

I roll the ball or throw the disc straight at the target, but away it curves.

After this happens a few times, I adjust.

I stop aiming straight since that’s not working.

If it always curves to the left, I aim to the right.

It feels wrong to aim away from the target.

But it curves back to the center.

It works.

Same with thoughts.

I try to think straight, but sometimes my thoughts lean to one side.

When my mind is missing the target, I aim it the other direction, to compensate.

I tend to blame others too much.

Everything bad is someone else’s fault.

So, to compensate, I assume absolutely everything is my fault.

I tend to underestimate how much time a project will take.

So, to compensate, I make my best prediction, then double it.

I tend to assume I’m right.

Then I noticed I was talking more than listening, and wasn’t learning.

So, to compensate, I assume I know nothing and have a lot to learn.

To be clear:

The new thought is not meant to be correct.

It’s a counter-balance, to correct for my tendencies.

Like aiming the bowling ball or frisbee to the right, so that it curves back into the target.

Another definition of the word “true” means straight and accurate.

And the word “bias” means angled or curved.

So we can choose beliefs that are not true because they’re useful to compensate for our bias.

When I’m feeling troubled, it helps to look around at reality.

Am I in physical danger?

No.

I’m in a room.

I’m safe.

It’s a reminder that the trouble is in my head.

So I get away from all people and media, to avoid all viewpoints, opinions, and drama.

I shut off my devices.

I go to a place where the natural world is untouched by humans.

Ideally deep into nature and stay a few days, but a beach or a forest for an hour will do.

I fill my senses with reality: wind blowing, waves crashing, plants and animals doing their thing.

This place was about the same a million years ago, and a million years from now, when people are gone.

Nature carries on.

Humans are just another chattering species, making noise like birds and dogs.

Almost nothing people say is true.

My thoughts aren’t true.

Norms, obligations, the past, the future, and fears: none of it is real.

They’re just thoughts formed into stories.

Out here, they don’t exist.

I find this a better starting place for reframing.

Here’s a common optical illusion:

Two horizontal lines, the same length.

The top one has diagonal lines going out from its edges.

The bottom one has diagonal lines going in from its edges.

Your instincts insist that the top line is obviously longer.

But if you measure them to confirm, you’ll prove to yourself they’re actually the same.

So your wisdom has to go against your instincts, and remind yourself the lines are actually the same, even though it feels wrong.

You override your instincts with wisdom.

Your instinct says somebody wronged you.

Your wisdom reminds you that they could say the same about you.

Your instinct says your current situation is horrible and hopeless.

Your wisdom reminds you that you can use any situation to your advantage.

Your instinct says you know right from wrong.

Your wisdom reminds you that your norms are one of many valid perspectives.

Your first thought is an obstacle.

You need to get past it.

Outsmart it.

Your instinct never goes away.

But let your wisdom have the final say.

Some beliefs are basically facts, but without absolute proof.

Tomatoes are a vegetable.

Tonight’s movie starts at 7:00.

Then my friend shows me proof that tomatoes are a fruit and the movie starts at 8:00.

Cool!

I’m glad to be corrected.

Some beliefs make people really emotional.

Think of one of your particularly strong beliefs.

If someone showed you absolute proof that your belief is wrong, would you be glad to be corrected?

Would you instantly change your mind?

Why not?

Maybe you see that belief as a part of who you are?

Would changing it change your public persona?

Your self-identity?

Some people, when challenged on their beliefs, get all upset and scream, “But I believe this deeply in my heart of hearts!”

Wow, look at all that emotion!

It must actually be true!

Yeah, right.

As if the amount of emotion measures the truth of the belief.

Maybe it measures the opposite.

If it was absolutely objectively true, there would be no need to get upset.

You could just point to the conclusive proof.

That’s that.

Instead, you might be using that word “believe” to mean “my identity depends on this”.

Especially if you feel the need to tell everyone your beliefs.

Whenever someone says, “I believe …”, then whatever they say next is not true.

If it was a fact, there would be no need to declare a belief.

You don’t say, “I believe in squirrels.”

You don’t say, “I believe squares have four sides.”

It’s just a fact, so there’s no need to take a stance.

You say “I believe” when it’s not a fact that everyone can see.

Since people view it differently, you share your perspective on how you see it.

A belief is something you think is true, without proof.

A fact is an objective reality — something proven true — verified with conclusive evidence.

No beliefs are true.

If a belief was proven true, it would no longer be a belief.

Galileo believed the planets orbit around the sun, but he didn’t have proof.

Hundreds of years later, when it was proven true, it ceased to be a belief and became a fact.

But in his lifetime, it was just a belief.

Beliefs are a stance on what’s inconclusive.

You have to say “I believe …” because it’s not the only answer.

It’s not a fact.

(Not yet.)

Kids scream, “Monster in the hallway!”, and hide behind the couch.

They stack up cushions for protection, and plan their defense.

They know there’s not really a monster in the hallway, but it’s exciting to feel the adrenaline of panic, to make a shelter and feel safe.

One kid yells, “The floor is hot lava!”

Leaping between furniture is a fun challenge.

One slips and wails, “Help! I’m falling! Save me! Save me!”

Now one kid can feel protected, while the other gets to be the rescuing hero.

Mom calls, “Pancakes are ready!”, and all stories stop when the kids run into the kitchen.

Kids believe anything fun for a while.

It’s called “make believe” because they’re making up beliefs.

The game has a purpose.

Each belief gives them a new situation, and lets them adopt a new role like protector or inventor.

Grown-ups have their own version of make believe:

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Those people are evil.”

“I would be creatively prolific if I could quit my job.”

None of these statements are true.

But we like the way it feels to believe.

Beliefs have a purpose.

They help us adopt a perspective or identity.

They help us take action, or cooperate with others.

The only problem is when we confuse belief with reality, and insist that something is absolutely true because we believe it.

Beliefs don’t exist outside the mind.

(Have you ever seen one in nature?)

All beliefs are make believe.

My mom inherited an ugly painting from her mom.

It hung in the living room, and visitors would comment on how it felt wrong.

But she kept it there for sentimental reasons.

One day, when she took it out to be reframed, they found the artist’s signature and date written underneath the old frame.

Turns out the painting had been hanging upside-down this whole time.

Turned right-side-up, it looked much better.

Kind of like beliefs.

We inherit pictures of how to think and act, and tend to keep them as-is, even if they’re problematic.

Your mother always said, “be careful”, teaching you to live in fear.

Your father had a terrible temper, teaching you to not share your thoughts.

Your first major breakup taught you that you don’t deserve love.

This is the interior design of your mind — your internal environment.

Take these paintings out under a bright light to be reframed.

When you remove the frame and flip them upside-down, you can make sure they’re hanging the right way.

Or decide to throw them away.

The movie “500 Days of Summer” is a beautiful example of doubting your past.

We see many scenes of a boy and a girl happily in love, but always from his point of view.

Then suddenly, the girl says, “I think we should stop seeing each other.”

The boy is shocked and confused, and sinks into depression because he’s convinced that she’s his true love, and he doesn’t understand why she would break up, since they were so happy.

Eventually, his little sister says, “I think you’re just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, you should look again.”

Then the movie does something wonderful.

It replays those same scenes it showed before, but now with a different edit.

Before, we saw her smile at him, but now the camera watches longer, and we see her smile was fake, lasting only a second.

Now we see they had many fights.

Before, we saw them holding hands, but now we see he tried to hold her hand and she refused it, pulling away.

Now we see that she never loved him.

The signs were there all along.

He had been focusing only on the happy memories, ignoring the rest.

When he focuses on the bad memories, her breakup is not confusing or even painful.

This perspective helps him make peace with the past and move on.

Consider this cinematic approach for the memories that haunt you.

For example: almost everyone says they were unpopular in school — that they were bullied and teased.

They form their self-identity around that story.

“People make fun of me. I’m not one of those likeable, popular types.”

It’s probably not true.

It’s probably a misinterpretation — not realizing that happened to everyone.

Next time you look back, look again.

Replay your past from different angles until you find the lesson or closure you need.

There was a crime out on Park Avenue today, so the police are gathering information.

A helpful witness said, “He had a red mustache, green eyes, and a scar by his right ear. He was 6-foot-1 and had a tattoo of a dragon on his right shoulder.”

The police said, “This is great information. How sure are you of this?”

The witness said, “I’m completely sure. 100% positive. I mean, I didn’t see it first-hand because I was inside the back room with no windows, but I think I heard someone whispering something like this.”

That’s your brain, in the dark, inside your skull.

It can’t see or hear, or experience anything directly.

It interprets little signals sent through nerves, which is not much information to work with, so it’s often mistaken.

But it tells you it’s completely sure.

100% positive.

The movies that scare me the most are the ones where the hero realizes he can’t trust his own mind.

“Vanilla Sky”, “Memento”, “A Beautiful Mind”, “Jacob’s Ladder”, “The Others”, “Fight Club”, “The Sixth Sense”, and “The Matrix”.

It’s terrifying to find out you’re crazy.

What you thought was real is not.

But if you can’t trust your mind, what can you do?

In each of these movies, the hero gets through it for the better.

When he finds out his mind has been tricking him, it’s upsetting, but he adapts.

His mind was at odds with reality but can now see the difference.

It’s even a relief, because it explains some frustrating moments of confusion in his past.

Since old beliefs were disproven, the hero takes in reality with clear eyes.

He carefully proceeds with less confidence and more humility.

So can you.