Design Yourself

It's one thing to see what you want, but it's quite another thing to be able to communicate that vision to others. When we know how to say what we want, others can help support us on that path and we can more clearly direct ourselves to the future we desire. This weeks episode looks at common roadblocks to saying what you want like fear, lack of clarity, wordiness and concern for what others think. Sharon then shares ways to overcome that resistance like being direct, getting specific about what you want, being "selfish" and more. Finally you will learn how to put all of these tools together and get into the everyday practicing of saying what you want.

• Too many words
• Fear
• Lack of clarity
• Focusing on What Others Want

• Be direct
• Let go
• Be specific
• Focus on What YOU Want
• Cultivate the emotion that will serve you
• Honor the emotion that you are in

1. Ask Your Heart, "What Do I Really Want?"
2. Quiet Your Mental Chatter
3. Write it Down
4. Say it Aloud
5. Tell A Friend

• Design Yourself 5 – Vision Meditation
• Design Yourself 92 – Vision

Today Sharon explores the topic of asking for help. You will learn about why flexing this skill is a critical component of successful leadership and sane living, what holds us back from asking for help, and why we've got to push forth and ask anyway. Finally, Sharon offers 5 Rules of the Road for how to get past your own discomfort or habit of not asking for help and move into the practice of doing it anyway.

• • We don't know what to ask for
  • The "Busy-ness Cycle"
  • It makes us uncomfortable
  • No one can do it as well as me
  • I'm in control, thank you very much

• • Our own capabilities are finite
  • We can't do everything
  • You can leverage others' strengths to cover your own blindspots *
  • You will learn something – about yourself, about your habits
  • Going it alone can get lonely and it's necessarily riddled with your own limitations. You can't see beyond you.

• • Be clear and specific
  • Be open
  • DON'T ask at the emotional breaking point
  • Keep doing it
  • Embrace Hearing No

• Learn more about the Camino de Santiago – a pilgrimage walk through Spain that profoundly changed my life. (Among other things it taught me that sometimes getting to the end goal just isn't the point.)

• Psst. If you are curious about walking the Camino yourself, here is a must read book, A Pilgrim's Guide to the Camino de Santiago.

Vision, if we're lucky, is what propels us forward. We set our sights on what we want and then choose to move in that direction. It's rare that our visionary paths are linear but the sightline helps keep our actions aligned with our values, our choice. This month's "Design Myself" theme is vision. You will hear about how vision fits into Sharon's larger 2018 path, receive a few questions to prompt your own visionary reflection, learn about the connection between vision and seasonal (springtime!) living and hear about some personal updates in Sharon's life and business. Whether you are curious to learn about some of the behind the scenes looks into this coach entrepreneur's world or to prompt your own Design Myself path forward, this week's episode is for you.

"It's about not taking on too much…the thing I do want is to choose intentionally, to be choiceful. And that's ultimately what Design Yourself is about. When you are figuring out what you want and you are making it happen and you are going after that thing that really matters to you, that's about being in a place of choice. It really doesn't usually matter what the thing is, it's that you are saying, "Yes, this is what I choose" – as a human being or as an organization. You are not just letting things happen to you.

• Vision is a present action; not just about the future
• Spring is a perfect time for visioning. Like planting the seeds that you want to bring into being over the Summer and Fall months.
• Be choiceful about your commitments. Make sure this is THE vision you REALLY WANT!

• What do I want?
• What, if I gave it up, would I not miss at all?
• What would support me in letting go of that?
• What am I desiring that would light me up?
• How might I manifest that thing?

• Sue McLeod Coaching

This week's episode is all about the simplest of tools for getting stuff done: The To Do List. This week Sharon geeks out on the best times to tap into this tool, her favorite 4 variations on the To Do List, and 4 tactics to make sure that you leverage this resource to best effect. Here's the basic theory, one size fit all solutions simply don't work. But that doesn't mean you have to begin every solution from scratch. Sharon offers these templates and strategies to arm you with some best practices to customize your own approach.

1. To stop feeling overwhelmed
2. To let yourself dream up something ambitious
3. To achieve something you've never done before
4. To bring your big ideas into fruition
5. To get stuff done

The Comprehensive List – Whether you write it all out on pen and paper or capture it in an online tracking tool, the Comprehensive To Do List allows you to put down everything in your head in one place. Bonus: It usually lowers your stress levels in the process.

Timeline Map – What needs to get done this day/this week/this month/this quarter/this year? Your Timeline Map will tell you. This tool can be incredibly useful when planning for what you want to achieve in your work or business for the year.

Action Planning Tool – A timeline map used in Sharon's Go Beyond visioning process. Download the Vision Action Plan here.

Index Card Strategy – To build momentum with a particular to do list, write out your to do lists on Index cards. You can use index cards (or post it notes!) to write out both 1) like tasks that you can knock out quickly, and 2) individual items that are part of a big project.

Project Lists – Lay out what needs to be achieved to take a specific project from start to finish. This is especially important for both building momentum and making sure that you really understand what it will take to make a larger project or initiative happen. Often using an online tool makes sense here.

Brain dump + transfer – First write everything out and then take that list and move each item into your regular workflow practices. Don't just leave the big list or things will almost always fall through the cracks.

Segment your list into "like tasks" – This straightforward approach has the advantage of both breaking up the to do list into more manageable chunks and sets you up you execute similar tasks at the same time. Yay efficiency!

Use an online tool to track and communicate between team members – Basecamp, Trello, Slack, Google Docs/Sheets, Asana (et cetera!) all have their pros and cons.Here are the headlines on leveraging online tools:

• Always be tracking
• Use it before you think you need to
• With teams: Use it for ongoing work teams, not for "one offs"
• Commit to it

Make it fun

• Blog post to give you insight into Sharon's "book problem" =)
• The joy-seeking, stuff purging consultant, Marie Kondo
• List writing/project management tools referenced:
  • Basecamp
  • Trello
  • Slack
  • G Suite
  • Asana

It feels good to step out of winter hibernation and embrace the energy of spring. This week's podcast episode is all about shifting into a space of action to get stuff done. But not just any things - the things that matter. Sharon frames this week's conversation around how to know that you are ready to move to action by highlighting both potential red flags and readiness signals. She then offers up her tried and true resources for shifting from being ready for action to being in the action. Her 5 Tips for How to Get Sh*t Done include everything from creating a roadmap to dropping the unnecessary distractions to cultivating boldness. This week's episode is great for anyone who is feeling ready to dive into a new project or perhaps follow through on that idea that's been on the back burner for long enough.

"Timidity has no place in the space of holding a purpose and taking action."

When we are on the midst of realizing something close to our heart, money worries often show up. It might be about fear of change or a concern about being vulnerable. No matter the circumstances, when we are on the cusp of a transition money worries are a common road block. This week's episode highlights some of the reasons the two are so linked up and then shares strategies for how to buck this unhelpful trend. You'll hear about how you less the fear and move into inspired action. You'll learn about why cynicism around money is getting in your way and how to grow your sense of confidence and bank account too. For anyone in the midst of a transition who is feeling stuck around money, this episode is for you. If you've got a dream, don't let money stop you from running after it. There is nothing stopping you, including money.

"What would support you in taking back your power from the worry, from the fear that is present? How might you move forward? How might you cozy up to that money worry and see it for what it is."

• Cozy up to your worry
• Take inspired money action
• Get clear on what's scary but not dangerous versus what is dangerous but not scary

• Name without apology what you want
• Let go of the cynicism around money
• Build a sense of confidence and trust in yourself
• Lean on your spiritual practice

• Design Yourself Episode 13 Money, Money, Money shares 5 ways to own your money mindset

Do you have one of those friends who you freaking love to hang out with and who kind of blows your mind when it comes to what she has created professionally? Natalie Tincher is just like that. She's about as down to earth as they come and super impressive. Time Out Magazine named her business one of New York's top personal shopping services. In today's episode we learn all about Natalie's journey from freelance copy editor to thriving entrepreneur. We discuss everything from fast fashion and personal styling tips to how love and empowerment fuel everything that Natalie does. We also learn about what some of the investments Natalie has made to scale her business including hiring her first employee and rebranding her business. This episode is a great fit for anyone who has ever wondered how to put your whole self into a thriving entrepreneurial business. It's also a must listen for anyone curious about the power of self love and failing forward.

"I lead with my heart and love with everything in life. So I need everything I do with my clients to also feel that way." - Natalie Tincher

• Time Out New York, Top Six Personal Shopping Services which highlights Buttoned Up Style (now BU Style)
• The Paid Stylist
• Marie Kondo's Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
• Can you support handmade work and box stores? By Grace Bonney of Design Sponge
• The website Sharon peruses for capsule wardrobe inspiration
• Essentialism
• AYR jeans
• Aloe style of AYR jeans that Natalie was wearing during recording
• Rachel Craven

Have you ever had the feeling that things just seemed to fall into place without any effort at all? The feeling that just by wishing for something that of course it would be so? April's "Design Myself" theme is inspired by just such a feeling – the feeling of magic. In this week's episode, Sharon shares some of her resistance to the idea of magic and the 5 spaces she's exploring this month to play with the wild possibility of making things happen – with ease. From getting out into her own garden to vacationing in one of her favorite places to paying attention to the moon, this week's episode offers up many opportunities for brings a little more magic into your everyday. Wand optional.

"Changing our questions can change our life. What we ask, directs where we follow. What we see determines where we question. You've got to shift your perspective – literally change the question – to move down a new path."

1. See Something New
2. Ask New Questions
3. Be Positive + Allow For Healing
4. Pause + Look Within
5. Experiment

• Garden Awakening by Mary Reynolds
• Being Boss interview with Mary Reynolds
• Lunar Abundance by Ezzie Spencer
• Design Yourself 57: Make Magic

What if I told you that you could actually increase your brain function in just 8 weeks and all you have to do is meditate? Scientific studies have shown the meditating can improve things like your memory, compassion and sense of self relevance. At the same time it can decrease your anxiety, fear and stress. In this week's episode, Sharon shares her own journey into mindfulness and meditation and how she has come to understand these two practices. She then offers up 5 simple ways for how to bring mindfulness into your everyday and how these simple tactics lay the groundwork for more in depth meditation. If you are a meditation-curious or ready to deepen an existing practice, the week's episode is for you.

"What is it that my awareness lacks? What am I hungry for? What diversions am I giving more attention to than my true self?"

These two terms are often used interchangeably. Here is how Sharon sees the two:

Mindfulness - The act of bringing an observer's lens to your thoughts; quieting the mind by bringing focus to it.

Meditation - Letting go out your thoughts and tapping into your inner being and in so doing connecting to the universal oneness of all things.

1. Pay attention to your breath - Take 3 deep breaths and really allow yourself to notice the quality of each breath.
2. Hold a receiving posture - Sit or stand with your palms up, shoulders back and chest open.
3. Follow your thoughts - Sit down with both feet rooted into the ground and bring focus to your thoughts. Do not let the thoughts run the show; allow your attention to slow your thoughts down.
4. Appreciate the action you take - Bring attention to whatever you are doing. Be in the task and appreciate your ability to both do and notice what you are doing.
5. Get uncomfortable with not doing - To find stillness, we often have to move through the discomfort of not choosing the distraction.

• Poet Louise Glück - Her poem "Ancient Text" can be found in The Seven Ages
• Oprah & Deepak's 21-Day Meditation Experience

What are you afraid to say out loud? What places do you feel stuck? Sharon is joined by her dear friend and fellow executive coach Bethany Dufour in this week's episode to explore these questions and more. You'll get an honest and unfiltered look into the places where Sharon gets stuck and also get to observe a coaching conversation in action. Sharon talks about getting her chakras read, being in the middle of a transition but also feeling stuck, her fear of disappointing people and her worries about being selfish when she prioritizes herself first. You'll hear her move towards realizations about needing to stop doing something and also her new distinctions about how she is holding the idea of letting go. This is a great episode for anyone who is curious about some of the personal questions that Sharon is working through, anyone who is curious what it is like to be coached, and anyone who is working through his or her own transition.

"That's one of the greatest benefits of coaching – it's the space for you to reflect deeply on questions that are simple and yet profound." – Bethany Dufour

"I need to stop doing something. But what?" – Sharon Lipovsky

• Jess Lively's podcast episode called Afraid to Tell You was a source of inspiration for me creating today's episode
• Jess Lively originally approached this topic with this blog post.
• Bethany Dufour, our host extraordinaire is the founder of Maley Group and the cofounder of The Next Play
• Terry Gross
• Caroline Myss