If you haven’t already, please consider pre-ordering my upcoming book, Enough as You Are, at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound. Thank you!

Upcoming Events: Online Breathwork Journey TONIGHT; Live Breathwork Journey in Southfield, Michigan on Thursday, July 20th; Online Writing Yourself workshop on Saturday, July 29th; Live Your Truth retreat in Spain from August 31st - September 6th.

Hi Friends,

I’m not sure how many of you are on social media; I’m guessing most of you, on one site or another. I also suspect most of you don’t see what I post on social media, because the algorithms there limit a page’s organic reach in hopes that we’ll pay for people to see our posts. I’ve got 350,000 followers on Facebook and sometimes my posts go out to fewer than 1,000 people. See the photo below.

The above is a note I got from Facebook on a recent post. For every $25 I spend I could reach 70 more people, so if I wanted to reach all of my followers there, at $25 per 70 people, it would cost a measly $125,000. For one post. As reasonable as that sounds, I don’t pay to boost my posts. I do place ads for my events sometimes, but not for my writing.

I’m sharing this with you not to complain, which I do to myself often enough, because I find their boost practices and pricing ridiculous. I’m telling you this because I really like some of the things I share on social media and feel like sharing a handful of those same writings here today. If you’ve seen the following on Facebook or Instagram already, well, what can I say, the Universe must really want you to see these messages again. :)

Let’s start with a little love for maybe.

I’m guilty, like all of you I’m sure, of saying maybe to things I knew I wouldn’t do. It’s easier than saying no even when we’re clearly a no. I’m happy to report I don’t say yes to things that are a no nearly as often these days, and I continually surprise people with my willingness to say no to things I don’t want to do. Isn’t that strange, that it’s more unusual than not for many of us to say no to things we don’t want to do? For me, I think it’s the fear of being judged, more than anything else, that has me saying maybe, or even yes, to a clear no. God forbid people think I’m a dick.

And I understand wanting to give our energy to things that evoke a hell yes, and not necessarily to ones that inspire a more tepid, yeah okay I guess. The call for a hell yes is a way of encouraging us to, for the love of all that’s holy, stop saying yes to things that are a no. But as usual, so much gets lost in the extremes. In this case, it’s the patience and curiosity of an honest maybe that gets disregarded. And that’s too bad, because an honest maybe can sometimes lead to a hell to the hell yes.

Next up, let’s own our s**t.

I was scrolling through voice texts I sent to myself and came across the above words from a long time ago. I don't know who or what I was referring to in that moment, but I do know I have minimized other's reactions so that I could feel less shitty about myself, and my reactions have been minimized a lot through the years too. It doesn’t feel good, in either direction.I’m getting much better at taking responsibility for myself, for my words and actions. It's hard to do sometimes, particularly when I've acted like an a*****e, but my God does it feel better than avoiding and denying responsibility. It takes a lot of energy to resist accountability, and just makes you look like an even bigger a*****e than you were in the first place. And by you I mean me. As with saying no when I mean no, I'm not perfect with this, either, and my ego wins out sometimes. But not nearly as often as it used to. And damn if I don’t find it attractive to watch someone just own their s**t, with sincerity, and acknowledge they were an ass. And then apologize for it. Talk about sexy.

That leads us to desire.

I don’t expect to stop wanting things. Ever. I don’t expect you to, either. Desire is as natural as breathing, and we don’t judge ourselves for taking breaths. Let’s stop judging ourselves for our desires. Even the superficial ones. Even the nonsensical ones. Even the kinky ones.

I happen to believe that meeting my needs — as in solitude, time in nature, open-hearted connection — is more fulfilling than meeting my wants — as in an on-call massage therapist, a home in the south of France, endless sushi — but I’m done shaming myself for being a person who continues to want, every day even. All day even.

At the same time, I recognize how much more peaceful I feel when I don’t care as much about the manifestation of my wants. If they happen, wonderful. If they don’t, no problem. Sushi has a lot of mercury anyway. And how many massages can one man get? Okay, probably a lot, but still.

Let’s end with this one:

Now this one isn’t especially profound, but I wanted to encourage you to stop for a moment, really stop for a moment, even close your eyes, and take a nice, slow, deep breath. And another. And another. And remember, without a doubt, that you are beautiful, and worthy, and enough. You always have been and you always will be. There’s no other possibility. So why not start to believe it?

Before I say goodbye for now, I wanted to let you know that I’ve decreased the paid subscription price for Bigger Love from $7/month to $5/month, and from $70/year to $50/year. I did this to make a paid subscription even more accessible and to incentivize more readers to upgrade from free to paid. That is, if you feel you benefit from this newsletter and have the means, of course.

Whether you have a free or paid subscription, or are just checking things out for the first time, I’m thrilled you’re here, and you have access to all the same writings. The only additional benefit, for now, that paid subscribers have is a generous discount on all my online events.

Become a free or paid subscriber below.

Thank you for sharing this space with me. It’s nice to connect outside of traditional social media. To exist outside of the algorithms. I like it here.

Sending you all so much love.

Scott

Upcoming Events

TONIGHT, Thursday July 13th: Join me for Online Breath & Belonging and see why people are so committed to this transformational breathwork practice.

Thursday, July 20th: Join me live in Southfield, Michigan for Breath & Belonging. This will be an intimate gathering and will fill up, so be sure to secure you spot soon.

Saturday, July 29th: Join me online for my monthly Writing Yourself workshop. This is a beautiful opportunity to use writing as a tool for self-discovery, and to connect with like-hearted people while doing so. No writing experience necessary.

August 31st - September 6th: Join me and my buddy, meditation teacher extraordinaire, David Gandelman, for Live Your Truth, a weeklong retreat in Spain that focuses on meditation, writing and breathwork.

Get full access to Bigger Love with Scott Stabile at scottstabile.substack.com/subscribe