Bigger Love with Scott Stabile

Hi Friends,

Okay first I want to remind you all that I have a new book out. It’s called It’s Okay: A Book of Permissions. I keep imagining those of you who read it being overcome by a growing sense of self-acceptance as you make your way through the pages. Like you may actually embrace the idea of being okay with all aspects of your humanity. Like you may find yourself feeling a bit more peaceful about yourself, a bit more generous with your self-compassion. That’s my vision anyway. My hope.

If you click HERE, it will take you to my website with some ordering options. Please consider buying, reviewing, and spreading the word about It’s Okay. I self-published this one and welcome all and any help getting it out there to more people. For those of you who have already bought it, thank you so much. It means a lot that you support my work, and that my work supports you in a good way.

Let me know what some of your favorite pages/passages are. Where do you need to be reminded that it’s okay?

In the above audio, I read an excerpt from It’s Okay, and then dive a little deeper into the themes brought up in the excerpt. If attachment to victimhood is something you’ve struggled with—and I suspect most of us have to varying degrees—or if you’re someone who is quick to judge others who present as victims, this may be a helpful listen.

Here’s the excerpt, but you’ll need to listen to the recording to get the deep dive:

It’s okay to move through life like a victim, to let the actions of others shape how you see yourself, and to allow unfair circumstances and past traumas to influence how you show up in the world. It’s okay to believe that bad things always happen to you, and to feel too discouraged to try changing anything because nothing ever seems to work out anyway. Just remember that living from a victim mindset can make it nearly impossible to reclaim your agency and create the changes you long for. You are not responsible for everything that has happened to you, but you are responsible for how you choose to respond to it. You can honor your pain without letting it define you. And it is never too late to grow in self-love, to reclaim your power, to question catastrophic thinking, to explore new ways of meeting your needs, and to decide who you want to be despite the suffering you’ve endured. You may have been the victim of cruel circumstances, but that doesn’t have to be the story of your life. Unless you choose it to be.

As always, I welcome and appreciate your comments. How did this land for you? Anything else you feel is important to add? Let us know.

I feel it’s important to be real with who we are and what we’re going through, while at the same time recognizing our agency in creating change. The more connected we stay to our personal power, the more likely we are to trust in and utilize it to create more fulfilling shifts in our reality.

I believe in us.

Thank you so much for being here.

And please, if you’ve read It’s Okay, (thank you so much!) take a moment to leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. I appreciate it!

Big Big Love to you all.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To support my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you!

Upcoming Events

DETROIT FRIENDS: Join me on Wednesday, August 19th, at Affirmations Community Center in Ferndale, for the official Book Launch of It’s Okay.

Other News

* The ebook version of my books, Enough as You Are and Big Love, are still on sale for just $0.99 on Amazon, so grab em while they’re cheap.

* I joined Pinterest recently. If you’re thinking, Wait, Pinterest still exists?, then you’re like I was about ten days ago. Then I learned that it can be a great resource for sharing my writing and making people aware of my books. We’ll see. If you’re on there already, you can find me at https://www.pinterest.com/writerscottstabile/

Hi Friends,

I wanted to send us all into the weekend with something uplifting, a little reflection and a lot of love. So I pulled out my book Enough as You Are, meditated on it for a few moments, and asked it to offer some words for this community. I flipped through the book with my eyes closed and landed on page 107.

I felt like doing my part I felt like doing my part to change the world, so I started by giving thanks for all the blessings in my life, rather than bemoaning all that was missing from it. Then I complimented my reflection in the mirror, instead of criticizing it as I usually did. Next I walked into my neighborhood and offered kindness to everyone I passed, whether or not they offered theirs to me. Each day I did these things, and soon they became habit. Each day I lived with more gratitude, more self-love, and more kindness. And sure enough, the world around me began to change. Because I had decided so, I was single-handedly doing my part to change it.

In the audio above I spend a few minutes diving deeper into the passage, and I hope I give you reason to consider living with more gratitude, more self-love, and more kindness. And remember, you’re worthy and enough, even if you don’t.

Let me know if you like this short recording format. I like connecting with you this way. I was doing it more often in the past but have gotten away from it. And, if you feel inspired, please share with us something you feel grateful for, something you love about yourself, or just some kind words for everyone here.

Wishing each of you a weekend filled with peace, connection, and more than one moment of delightful surprise.

I’m grateful for your presence here, and in our world. You make this place a much more beautiful place to be.

Big Big Love,

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. If you’re vibing with my work here, please consider becoming a paid subscriber ($5/month or $50/year). Thank you!

Upcoming Events:

Free Talk on Insight Timer: Monday, July 13th, at 10am PT / 1pm ET

HOW TO HAVE THE HARD CONVERSATIONS (YOU KEEP PUTTING OFF)

In this talk we're going to look at how we can communicate more effectively and compassionately, especially with the tough conversations we tend to avoid. Whether it's a romantic partner, co-worker, family member or dear friend, it is within you to be grounded and brave enough to show up — even initiate — the conversations you know you need to have, the ones you’ve been putting off, dreading, and making all kinds of excuses to avoid. Please have pen and paper handy in case you want to take some notes.

Go HERE to add to your calendar.

If you’re a yoga teacher, check out the opportunity at the end of this essay to join me and David at our Sardinia retreat at a significantly discounted rate in exchange for sharing your gifts.

Hi Friends,

I came across this video I recorded a couple years and felt it might be good to share it again right now. It helped me to feel a little more grounded when I rewatched it, and reminded me that no matter what else is going on, there is always beauty, compassion, creativity, and so much other goodness happening too.

Let me know how the video landed for you, and if there’s anything you want to share with us all that might bring a little more peace into this moment, by all means share away.

Sending you all so much love.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Upcoming Events:

SOUL RENEWAL RETREAT — June 6th - 13th, 2026: If you’re already thinking about taking a European vacation this year, or any kind of vacation, I want to offer this as a different kind of option. Not sightseeing your way into exhaustion. Not rushing from place to place. But settling into one place. One rhythm. One circle of humans. One intentional recalibration. Please read what I wrote about this retreat below:

Hi Friends,

This past Sunday I offered the sermon/reflection at the First Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ann Arbor. I spoke about something I’ve been wrestling with for years now: how to stay rooted in my heart when I’m confronted with words and actions that feel ignorant or cruel—and how to do that without abandoning my integrity.

If you’re struggling similarly, I hope this talk is helpful in some way. Please let me know how it landed and/or how you’re staying heart-centered these days.

If you’d rather read than watch the video above, the original manuscript is below.

Good morning, everyone.

Thank you, Manish, for inviting me into your congregation.

I’m really happy to be here with you all on Valentine’s Day weekend—a time when love is often framed in solely romantic terms. Chocolates. Roses. A nice meal, hopefully. All good things, to be sure.

But today, I want to talk about love in a much broader, more consequential sense. The kind of love that matters not just in our relationships, but in moments like this one—when the world feels fractured, frightening, and at times deeply cruel.

Many of us are carrying a lot right now. Grief. Anger. Fear. Exhaustion. A sense of disbelief about what is happening in our country, and about what forms of cruelty are being normalized in plain sight.

I’m not here this morning to offer spiritual platitudes or forced optimism.I’m here to honor and advocate for the power of love.

I experience love as an energy—alive within us and around us at all times. Which means we get to intentionally engage with that energy whenever we choose.

When we engage creative energy, we may feel compelled to sing, or dance, or cook, or write.

When we engage love’s energy, we feel compelled to be kind. Compassionate. To forgive. To empathize. To honor the clarity of our heart over the fears of our mind.

And I want to be clear: choosing love does not mean looking away. It does not mean compromising our convictions or pretending harm isn’t happening.

Love asks something braver of us.

It asks us to stay present—to what’s happening around us and within us—without abandoning our integrity or our humanity.

That’s what I want to explore with you this morning:What does it mean, really, to live from love in a time like this?

One of the most persistent myths about love—especially in spiritual contexts—is that it’s passive. That it’s synonymous with being agreeable, or quiet, or endlessly patient.

Love may show up that way at times, but often, choosing love is the hardest, bravest choice one can make, especially in these divisive times. And it’s certainly not a quiet choice right now.

Love is not separate from activism, or resistance.Love is what gives these things their depth and direction.

Living from love doesn’t mean we stop naming cruelty. It doesn’t mean we stop—if we feel called—organizing, protesting, protecting the vulnerable, drawing firm boundaries.

Living from love means we refuse to let fear, contempt, or dehumanization become the fuel for our actions.

Because when they do—even in the name of justice—we risk recreating the very harm we set out to dismantle.

I know how easy that is to say, and how hard it is to live.

For thirteen years of my life, I was part of a cult—a small spiritual community centered around a guru whom I believed to be enlightened, and whom I believed would help me become enlightened.

I didn’t join because I was naïve or lacking discernment. I joined because I was seeking belonging, meaning, certainty. I wanted to feel safe, and seen. I wanted to feel chosen.

At first, it felt like all of that had been found. There was clarity. Community. So much love and compassion. A shared moral framework.

But slowly—and surely—I began to override my own inner knowing.

Doubt was reframed as weakness. Discomfort meant I needed to try harder. Questions were discouraged. Challenges to the guru were framed as resistance to God’s will.

My guru described himself as a puppet of God. If I objected to him, I was objecting to God.

And I grew to believe that. I was surrounded by people who believed that.

What I lost during those years—even inside what looked like a loving spiritual container—was my capacity to trust myself.

I learned to surrender my own discernment in order to belong.

And that experience has shaped some of how I understand what’s happening in our culture right now—because this dynamic is not unique to cults. It is a deeply human vulnerability.

Any group—spiritual, political, or cultural—that requires us to abandon our inner authority in exchange for belonging is, first and foremost, pretty culty. It is asking us to trade integrity for inclusion.

And that trade is everywhere.

It’s easy to see this dynamic at work in movements we oppose. It’s tempting to locate it entirely in MAGA culture, Christian nationalism, authoritarian leadership—and there is no doubt that groupthink, cognitive dissonance, and moral outsourcing in these groups are causing real harm. We’re seeing and feeling it every day.

But if we’re being honest, we have to acknowledge that progressive spaces struggle with this too.

Nearly all spaces do. Because this is human.

The pressure to conform.The fear of being cast out.The subtle rewards for certainty.The rejection of—even punishment for—nuance.

When belonging feels conditional, integrity becomes fragile.

We posture. We perform righteousness. We shame others to reassure ourselves we’re on the right side. We dehumanize those whose dehumanizing efforts we’re resisting.

And while that may feel momentarily empowering, it comes at a cost.

Because shame—whether directed outward or inward—hardens us. Narrows our vision. Distances us from the very values we claim to be protecting. The very future we say we want to co-create.

I want to be clear: compassion is not approval. It is not forgiveness on demand. And it is not something we demand from those who have been harmed.

Compassion is a practice we engage in so that we don’t become what we’re resisting.

Author Glennon Doyle often shares the story of a Vietnam War protester who stood outside the White House every night with a single candle. When asked if he thought his actions would change the administration, he replied:

“I don’t come here every night so that I change them. I come here every night so that they don’t change me.”

His words really struck me.

I’ve struggled with this administration to stay in my heart. I’ve struggled, within all the divisiveness, to remain compassionate. In the face of so much cruelty, I’ve struggled to stay connected to my integrity, to who I truly am beyond all this noise and insanity.

Because that’s the question underneath all of this:å

How do we resist cruelty without letting cruelty reshape us?

How do we stay in our hearts when we’re outraged?

How do we face dehumanizers without dehumanizing?

How do we tell the truth without abandoning our humanity?

In my experience, one answer to these questions is simple—but not easy:

We prioritize self-love.

That may sound counterintuitive. I’m speaking about showing up with more compassion for others, and now I’m talking about self-love?

But how we relate to ourselves informs how we relate to everyone and everything else.

We cannot remain in integrity with the world if we are constantly betraying and abandoning ourselves.

When we haven’t learned to treat ourselves with kindness and grace—especially when we’re anxious, wrong, overwhelmed, or afraid—we are far more likely to outsource our worth to groups and ideologies.

We become reactive instead of rooted.Performative instead of present.

When I am willing to recognize my inherent worth—worthy simply because I was born, worthy until the day I die—then I am much more likely to recognize the inherent worth and dignity of every other human being.

That principle—the inherent worth and dignity of every person—is not just beautiful theology. It is revolutionary practice.

If I believe I am only worthy when I am right, then I will treat others as only worthy when they are right.

If I relate to myself with shame and harshness, I will relate to others with shame and harshness. This is how it works. We tend to give what we practice.

But when I offer compassion to my flawed humanity, even when I react from fear instead of respond from love, I am more capable of offering compassion to others who do the same.

We cannot say, with certainty, how we would show up right now had we lived the lives of those whose words and actions we find so abhorrent. Had we experienced their conditioning, and traumas, and fears, we may have ended up exactly where they are, saying and doing the things we find so ignorant and cruel. Let this understanding be a pathway to empathy and compassion.

This is no way suggesting agreement or condoning harm.It is refusing to ignore the heart. Refusing to bypass love.

It’s holding that candle in front of the White House so as not to let the cruelty and evils we see change us.

Self-love is what allows us to pause, to return to our hearts, and to respond—not react—from there.It’s what helps us resist shame as a strategy—toward ourselves and others.It’s what anchors our resistance in empathy rather than contempt.

Self-love doesn’t dilute our moral clarity.It stabilizes it. It energizes us to show up for others as we do ourselves.

And Every wisdom tradition on the planet speaks to loving others as ourselves:

Jesus said, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Buddha said, Considering others as oneself, one should neither harm nor cause harm.

Muhammed said, None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.

Nature shows us that survival itself is relational—nothing lives only for itself, and everything that endures does so by giving and receiving in balance. Ecosystems survive not through domination, but through reciprocity—life sustaining life.

This too, in my opinion, comes back to self-love. I actually do believe that we’re loving our neighbors as we love ourselves, which is to say, not very well at all. With shame. With fear. With endless criticism.

We treat ourselves harshly, and so we treat each other harshly.

We bypass kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. We reject love—at our own expense, and at the expense of our society.

I don’t speak about this as theory. I know the cost of rejecting love.

When I was fourteen years old, my parents were shot and killed in a fruit market they owned in Detroit.

For years, when I thought about the man who killed them, I hated him. I wanted him to suffer. To die.

But that hatred was poisoning me.

So I made a conscious effort—not to forgive him—but to understand him. I imagined what kind of despair must exist in someone to reach that point. I imagined his fear and loneliness. That he must have felt so angry and lost, unseen and unloved.

And I recognized those feelings in myself. Even the violence, which I told myself I could never relate to, I actually could relate to, at least in thought. I had imagined terrible deaths for him.

The more I empathized with his humanity, the more the hatred dissolved. He became not just a killer but a human being—in pain—who made a terrible choice. I felt more and more compassion for him. And then one day, almost miraculously, I realized I had forgiven him.

Empathy was the pathway to forgiveness.And that forgiveness became one of the greatest gifts of my life, and one of the most potent indicators of the power of love.

Recently, I watched a video of people standing outside an ICE headquarters in Minneapolis, singing:

“It’s okay to change your mind. Show us your courage, leave this behind. It’s okay to change your mind, then you can join us, join us here anytime.”

That is our potential. That is empathy, and compassion. That is an invitation.

I’ve also watched many videos of people screaming profanities at ICE agents, and I’ve found myself cheering them on.

And if I witnessed someone being dragged from their home, I don’t know how I would respond. I can feel my blood boil just imagining it.

But I do know this:

The world I want to help co-create—the beloved community so many of us long for—cannot be built from contempt. It’s not possible.

It must be built from courage, integrity, and love.

And because I have power over only myself, it is incumbent upon me to rest in integrity, to listen to the guidance of my heart, and to love myself and my fellow human beings as fiercely as I can.

The question isn’t whether we want to create a more compassionate and loving world. Of course we do.The question is this: from what place will we create it?

I’d like to share a poem by Thich Nhat Hahn that speaks to our capacity for empathy and compassion.

Please Call Me by My True Names

Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow --even today I am still arriving.Look deeply: every second I am arrivingto be a bud on a Spring branch,to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,learning to sing in my new nest,to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,to fear and to hope.The rhythm of my heart is the birth and deathof all that is alive.I am the mayfly metamorphosingon the surface of the river.And I am the birdthat swoops down to swallow the mayfly.I am the frog swimming happilyin the clear water of a pond.And I am the grass-snakethat silently feeds itself on the frog.I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.And I am the arms merchant,selling deadly weapons to Uganda.I am the twelve-year-old girl,refugee on a small boat,who throws herself into the oceanafter being raped by a sea pirate.And I am the pirate,my heart not yet capableof seeing and loving.I am a member of the politburo,with plenty of power in my hands.And I am the man who has to payhis “debt of blood” to my peopledying slowly in a forced-labor camp.My joy is like Spring, so warmit makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.My pain is like a river of tears,so vast it fills the four oceans.Please call me by my true names,so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,so I can see that my joy and pain are one.Please call me by my true names,so I can wake up,and so the door of my heartcan be left open,the door of compassion.

I’ll end with a short prayer.

Feel free to close your eyes and place your hands over your heart if that feels good.

May we learn to live from love—not as a concept, but as a daily embodied practice.May we remember our inherent worth and dignity, even when we falter.May we stay anchored in self-respect when fear invites us to abandon ourselves.May we tell the truth without cruelty, and resist harm without perpetuating it.May we hold fast to compassion so that the forces we oppose do not shape who we become.And may the way we love ourselves quietly ripple outward—into our relationships, our activism, our communities—helping us co-create a more just, courageous, and compassionate world.

Amen. Blessed be. Thank you.

I hope this reflection was helpful to you all, and I pray we can continue to remain in our hearts, in love, no matter how else we choose to show up in these times.

Big Big Love,

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Upcoming Events:

SOUL RENEWAL RETREAT — June 6th - 13th, 2026: Please read what I wrote about this retreat below:

Hi Friends,

Tara Brach shared this parable on a recent podcast episode, and it feels perfect for right now—especially for those feeling powerless in the face of all this cruelty and insanity.

Please give it a listen.

Remember: You are more powerful than you know, in your capacity to influence hearts and minds. We are more powerful than we know, as a people united in love.

Let’s stay rooted in our hearts, in our integrity, and allow ourselves to be led from there. To speak and act from there. It all matters.

I’ll be participating in the general strike tomorrow as an act of solidarity with others in protest against the DHS and ICE. In truth, this is not a hard thing for me to do, as I don’t go to school, don’t report to a job, and don’t like shopping. I do believe, however, a large general strike is one of few things that will get the attention of the government, and the corporations currently controlling this country. I don’t have a clue how big tomorrow’s strike will be, but I like the energy of citizens saying NO MORE OF THIS B******T, and making choices that reflect it.

Thanks for your presence here. It means a lot.

So much love to you all.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love with is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free subscriber.

Our next online breathwork journey is this Wednesday, Jan 14th, at 8pm ET.

Hi Friends,

As we continue to experience and bear witness to the profound cruelty of this president, his administration, and the agencies they run, I am finding a modicum of peace in the understanding that the story is not over. We are in a really f*****g terrible part of it right now, and it’s nowhere near over.

I hope the audio above serves you in a good way. Let us know what’s helping you stay grounded right now. Where are you finding some peace?

As we move into this new year, I am as committed as ever to letting the voice of love guide me as much as possible, and to offering myself a lot of grace—and nudging myself back as quickly as possible—when I fall off the love train.

Thank you for your presence here.

Big love to you all.

xoxo…Scott

Upcoming Events

ONLINE BREATHWORK: Wednesday, Jan. 14th, 8pm ET. Details here.

SOUL RENEWAL RETREAT — June 6th - 13th, 2026: Join me and David Gandelman for our Soul Renewal Retreat in Sardinia, Italy. These retreats are next-level powerful. No words for how excited I am about this one. Details and registration here.

Order signed copies of my books Big Love and/or Enough as You Are for the holidays (US residents only). See below for details.

Hi Friends,

I recorded this video for any of us who tend to have a hard time during the holiday season, or who go into certain holidays or anniversaries with a sense of dread and the repeated assertion that this time of year always sucks.

I hope this video helps you open to another possibility for the upcoming holidays, or Valentine’s Day, or whatever time of year tends to be more challenging. Please let me know how the video lands for you, and please share any practices that serve you in a good way during the holiday season.

What I continue to find is that the more committed I am to something sucking, the more likely it is to suck. Conversely, the more open I am to more peaceful and joyful possibilities, and the more intentional I am about creating them, the more likely they are to happen.

Nothing is a given. Not even the suck.

Sending a ton of love to each of you, and a ton of gratitude for your presence here.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. If you’re benefiting from my words, and have the means, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you!

SIGNED BOOKS FOR THE HOLIDAYS! (US residents only)

I’ll be signing and shipping copies of Big Love and Enough as You Are for the holidays, from now through December 15th.

If interested, reply to this email with the title, quantity, to whom you want the books signed, and the shipping address.

One copy: $21, shipping included

Two copies: $38, shipping included (to one address)

Three or more copies: $17 per copy, shipping included (to one address)

Pay for your order through Venmo: @Scott-Stabile-1 and I will ship out your book/s within three business days.

I’m biased, but I think books make for some of the best gifts, and signed books make for even better ones. I promise to write something sweet to you or your loved one.

SOUL RENEWAL RETREAT — June 6th - 13th, 2026: Join me and David Gandelman for our Soul Renewal Retreat in Sardinia, Italy. We just got back from our Portugal retreat and it was mind-flowingly beautiful. No words for how excited I am about this one. Details and registration here.

Hi Friends,

Maybe, like me often these days, you find yourself looking at our world in flames and asking some version of what’s the point of anything anymore? My mind loves to incapacitate me in the muck of who cares? and nothing matters anyway and its favorite, what’s the point? I’m not gonna pretend I have a definitive answer to that question, but I was up early the other morning, still-dark-out early, so I lit a few candles, grabbed my journal and asked myself from a place of curiosity rather than dread, what’s the point? Here’s some of what came through.

The point is to take your time making coffee in the morning, embrace the ritual, inhale the beans as they grind, use heavy whipping cream because why not, don’t just stir but froth it, and savor that first sip especially and every sip to follow.

The point is to stare at the trees and smell the trees and touch the trees and listen yes listen with your whole body and soul to the trees. The point is to get close to the trees and closer still, and become the most tree-like human you can be.

The point is to feel like s**t when you get rejected because of course it hurts, but not feel like s**t about yourself because their rejection of you has to do with them and you’re still and always beautiful and worthy no matter what.

The point is to numb yourself, with food or booze or drugs or sex or shopping or the f*****g internet, or all of them in the same hour because this world is hard as hell to live in and with and through. And when you’re done numbing, to let yourself feel again because deeper than that need to numb your life is the need to feel your life.

The point is to let yourself feel whatever it is you’re feeling, without needing to make sense of it or justify it or have others feel okay about it. And to remember that feelings are fleeting, all of them, eventually.

The point is to move your body when your body wants to move and to stop moving it when it needs to rest. To listen to your body in general and all the time and with more devotion than when you listen to your mind.

The point is to masturbate, to learn your body and desires, to please yourself so you can show others how to please you too.

The point is to breathe, and forget to breathe, and for the love of all that’s holy remember to breathe again. And breathe.

The point is to see others beyond your limiting stories of them, and to see yourself beyond your own limiting stories, too. To be willing to let go of whatever stories no longer serve you.

The point is to have your back, and front, and sides too, to be the captain of your cheerleading squad, GO YOU!, and to listen for those heart truths (even no especially when you feel ugly and alone) that whisper you’re beautiful and enough and so f*****g lovable it hurts.

The point is to give up your shame, every last drop of it, to get to a place where it’s impossible to shame yourself because you can’t find one reason to do so, you’ve forgotten how. The point is to understand there never were true reasons to shame yourself, so all you’ve really forgotten are unnecessary lies.

The point is to be willing to love and accept yourself even when you have no idea how to love and accept yourself. The point is to remember that your willingness is the perfect place to start and is itself a profound act of self-love.

The point is to play with animals as often as possible, pet them and walk them and let them teach you how to love by how they love you.

The point is to have friends you can burp and fart in front of because no one likes holding in their burps and farts, and have friends who burp and fart in front of you too.

The point is to laugh your ass off as often as possible and as often as possible find something funny in the hard stuff too. The point is to finally accept laughter as one of the great healers and practice at it many times every day.

The point is to eat whatever foods make you feel good and not judge yourself when you eat the ones that don’t.

The point is to make peace with both your serious distaste for social media and your stubborn addiction to it, and to make peace with your inability to make peace with either.

The point is to accept there are many experiences in this lifetime that aren’t yours to have, just as you will have many wanted and unwanted experiences others will never know.

The point is to surrender to all that Source energy flowing through you, surrender to your oneness with all that is, to the fact you are as divine as you are human and as human as you are divine.

The point is to just show up, as you are, and trust that’s enough.

The point is to be messy in your very own way and have your s**t together in your very own way too. The point is to make peace with all the contradictions, or at least to stop fighting them.

The point is to take risks and cheer yourself on even if you don’t succeed how you’d hoped, and to get so lost in your comfort zone you stop trying anything new for a while. But not forever.

The point is to be of service in whatever way your heart calls you to be of service, to serve from desire and not obligation, from resonance and not pressure.

The point is to trash your throat raging at God for subjecting you to this planet, and then soak yourself in tears praying for tips on how to be here.

The point is to trust your gut and listen to it as often as your fear and disappointment will allow, and then so often your fear and disappointment learn to stand aside and make space for all that peace and surprise your trusted gut delivers to you.

The point is to trust yourself, and when you can’t to trust your life, and when you can’t to trust your God, and when you can’t to trust your inability to trust anything for the time being.

The point is to hold grudges and blame everyone else and wish mean people would die, and to become so effortlessly forgiving you no longer see anything needing forgiveness.

The point is to be authentic, and fake, and honest, and conditioned beyond honesty, and so sincere and so full of b******t, and determined to keep taking baby steps and giant leaps toward more and more truth no matter what.

The point is to be as present as possible with what’s before you, no matter what that is, and to accept that it’s difficult and rare to be wholly present with what’s before you and to stop trying so hard to be here now when the now gets lost in the trying.

The point is to be free, somehow, in a world of prison guards, the harshest, most merciless among them your own mind.

The point is to love, yourself and everyone else, no matter what.

The point is to be human, because you’re a human being and there’s nothing else for you to be here.

The point is to be human.

Wishing you big and bigger love,

xoxo…Scott

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I could’ve kept writing and writing but feel I included enough The point is… this time around. Let me know which of the points above, if any, resonates the most with you. And what comes up for you when you close your eyes and meditate on the question, what’s the point? I’d love to read some of your The point is… responses.

I first shared this essay here on May 11, 2022, though I could’ve written it today. I’m in Portugal right now leading a retreat and feeling deeply fulfilled by community. In this moment, the point is to foster and/or find community. To say yes to connection. To remember that we need each other.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

THE UPLIFT — Monday, November 24th, 7-9pm ET: Join me, Lisa McCourt and Karen Salmansohn for a free, two-hour online gathering meant to encourage community, openness and love. Come as you are. Leave a bit uplifted. Register for free HERE.

SOUL RENEWAL RETREAT — June 6th - 13th, 2026: Join me and David Gandelman for our Soul Renewal Retreat in Sardinia, Italy. No words for how excited I am about this one. Details and registration here.

Hi Friends,

I almost bailed on sharing this video because I sing in it, and few things scare me as much as singing in front of people. Not that anyone was there while I was singing, but still.

But I felt a call to share a song with you that usually helps me feel a bit more grounded and at peace. And I also felt a call to do something that seriously triggers my fear of being judged, and to do it anyway.

So here we are.

The song is called I Release Control, by Alexa Sunshine Rose, whose name I spaced in the video. I encourage you to close your eyes and sing along with me and see how you feel when you do. Let me know.

Also, to be clear so as not to scare you, I’m only singing for a minute or two in this ten-minute video. The rest of it is me talking about what’s on my heart today.

Thanks for being here. For real. It’s lovely and helpful to be connected to so many open-hearted souls in this space. I appreciate your presence, and your love.

Beautiful beautiful weekend to you all.

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Upcoming Events:

Troy, Michigan: Breath & Belonging on Sunday, Sept. 14th, from 12:30-2:30pm.

Wyandotte, Michigan: Breath & Belonging on Wednesday, Sept. 24th, from 7-9pm

Harbor Springs, Michigan: Authentic Connection Workshop on Sunday, October 5th, from 11am - 3pm.

Inner Peace & Power in Portugal: A spot or two has opened up on our sold-out retreat, so grab it now if you want to join me and David Gandelman in Portugal this November.

Hi Friends,

I’m having to be extra intentional about bringing myself back to my heart these days, so I recorded this meditation that does just that. I mean, I’m not gonna listen to it again, because I can’t meditate to my own voice, but I hope it helps you feel a bit more love-centered and peaceful within the midst of all this horror and chaos.

Let me know how it resonates with you.

This is not the time to forget that we are, each of us, profoundly loving beings. Let’s not give up on our heart’s guidance, in how we relate to ourselves and each other. Even with all the anger. Even with all despair. Love serves every energy, every emotion, as a healer and a guide.

Thanks for being here, for bringing your hearts to this space and to our world.

I love you.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Upcoming Events:

DETROIT: Join me this Friday, August 22nd for a Live Breathwork Journey in Troy, Michigan, from 6:30-8:30pm.

FREE GATHERING: Join me, Lisa McCourt and Karen Salmansohn next Monday, August 25th, from 7-9pm ET for The Uplift, a two-hour, free gathering designed to add some more peace, connection and joy to our lives. Come as you are. Leave uplifted.