Before we dive in, I wanted to make you aware of a few upcoming offerings.

March 6th: Online Breathwork Journey (discount for paid Substack subscribers)

March 16th: Online Enough as You Are Workshop (discount for paid Substack subscribers)

May 4th - 11th: Sacred Bali Retreat!

The following is an AI-generated transcript of the above video message, for those of you who prefer to read rather than watch. I cleaned it up a bit (got rid of some likes, etc.), but it definitely reads like someone who is speaking. It’s interesting for me to watch the video and feel like I offered some helpful perspectives fairly eloquently and then to read the transcript and feel like I don’t know how to put words together. :) In any case, I’m grateful that Substack offers this transcription capability, especially because I’ve been more interested in sharing through speaking than writing these days. Whether you watch or read, let me know how these perspectives landed for you.

Hey there friends,

Wishing you a beautiful day, a beautiful moment, whenever it is you're tuning into this. I wanted to tell you a little story about my past 24 hours. Actually, going back to last week. I was guiding a breathwork session and as it was beginning, the attendees were telling me that there were sound issues. They could hear my voice, but the music wasn't coming through. I couldn't figure out how to fix it in the moment so I had to cancel the session before it had even begun.

I had another breathwork session last night and spent a good chunk of the day trying to figure out what the issue was between Zoom and Spotify, knowing it was probably just one button that I wasn't figuring out to push. I took my computer to the Apple store, I went on a lot of online forums, but everything I was doing wasn't fixing the situation. As you might guess if you've ever dealt with technical issues (and I'm sure you all have) I was finding myself getting frustrated and annoyed and feeling like this was a huge waste of my time having to put so much energy into this glitchy tech issue.

And what I did was I kind of caught myself in the moment of the frustration, or one of the moments, and in the moment of annoyance I caught myself thinking, oh, I'm wasting my day and I'm wasting my time. It never feels good to think that or feel that way about something.

So I interrupted that thought pattern. I interrupted that way of being with the situation, and I just checked in with myself. I said to myself, Okay, this is an experience that is frustrating and is annoying or can be and you can choose to be in annoyance as you're dealing with it and you can choose to reflect on this experience as wasted hours and wasted time or you can make a different choice. You can choose to open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing this glitchy tech stuff and not knowing how you’re going to solve it or if it's going to be solved or when and bring to that a sense of okayness, a sense of peace.

And what that looked like for me in the moment was just acknowledging that I was getting frustrated and annoyed, and considering what there was I could do about that. What I chose to do in that moment was to do some breathing. Different than the breathwork I practice, a more meditative breath. I chose a breathing pattern where you give your exhale two extra beats than you give your inhale. So if you're inhaling for three seconds, you exhale for five seconds. This communicates to your body, it communicates to your parasympathetic nervous system that you're in a state of relaxation, which then encourages your body to enter a state of relaxation.

So that was something I did that shifted the energy in that moment. Also, simply by bringing awareness to the fact that I was getting frustrated and annoyed and anxious and lost in this idea of wasted time, just by acknowledging it and bringing some attention to it it allowed that energy to dissipate. The reality is it's silly to reflect on anything as wasted time because how can I make that judgment about what I'm experiencing?

It was a gift just to look at a moment that would typically annoy and frustrate me and see if is there was something else I could bring to it, if there was a learning there, a possibility for growth or deeper awareness. That’s not wasted time, that's valuable time if it's allowing for the present moment to be a moment of expansion, of awareness.

And then also what I did was just allow for the annoyance. There's nothing wrong with being annoyed. There's nothing wrong with being frustrated and disappointed. I was looking at the part of my mind that needed to judge even that as me being somehow less than or not evolved as I could be because a more evolved person wouldn't get annoyed by technical glitches. This is what my mind says, but give me the most evolved person on the planet and give them some technical glitches and I would bet my money that they're going to get annoyed simply because these types of things are annoying, and it's okay. But even bringing a sense of acceptance to the annoyance and frustration allowed for the energy of it to dissipate.

What I found myself feeling most of the day as I spent hours working on this (and it eventually got resolved) was that most of that time was not spent in the depths of annoyance and frustration that I would typically feel in those experiences. So I'm sharing this because there's always an opportunity to bring to whatever moment we're in a bit more awareness. There's always an opportunity to ask ourselves when what we're feeling is annoyance and frustration or disappointment or whatever it is, Is there another way that I can be with these feelings while at the same time acknowledging these are totally okay feelings to feel?

I'm consistently looking for ways to be more expansive in my experience of my life and in the perspectives that I bring to it, and in that expansion we can acknowledge it's possible to hold frustration while at the same time holding ourselves open to transcending that frustration and looking at ways to be with it differently. We're wildly expansive energetic beings and whenever I find myself locked into one way of looking at something, especially if that way is creating for me annoyance, frustration, disappointment, misery, suffering in some way, there's an opportunity there to expand the lens, expand the perspective, shift my focus, make myself available to more than just that one way of looking at something. And, at the same time, honoring my humanity and the fact that we sometimes just get really focused on one way of looking at something even when that focus is leading to misery.

There's always an opportunity to offer ourselves grace and self-love and compassion and all of these things that make any moment more palatable, that bring to every moment a bit more peace, a bit more acceptance, a bit more understanding. So I offer that to you, when you find yourself spinning out in some way, be with the spinning out while also making yourself available to creating a reality that lives beyond the spinning out. What would that look like?

I send you all so much love and a deep prayer for all of us that we can bring to whatever it is we're experiencing more acceptance, more okayness, more peace with what is. Yes. That.

So much love to you.

Scott

Bigger Love is reader supported. If you’re vibing with my work, and have the means, consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5/month or $50/year.

A Request:

If you’ve read my book Enough as You Are, and you really liked or loved it, please leave a rating and review on Amazon. Even one sentence helps a lot. Thanks for your support in this way.

Our Bali retreat is just over two months away, and there’s still space for you to join us. Join me and David Gandelman for a week of meditation, breathwork, self-love, community and so much laughter and joy. Details here.

Hi Friends,

I felt the call to pull an oracle card to send us into the weekend. Today’s card is coming from the Sacred Earth Oracle deck, and I appreciated this reading a lot. It felt like a firm but gentle nudge to act in alignment with our needs and desires.

The card: Motion

The deck: Sacred Earth Oracle

As always, I’d love to know how this card landed for you. What resonated? What didn’t? How might you apply this guidance into your life? Please share.

I find it energizing to know how much power lives in the choices I make, and that I can make different choices at any time. I can consider what feels more meaningful, joyful and connected, and make choices that serve those desires. And when I don’t, I can choose to be really kind to myself anyway. No matter what, I can choose to shine compassion and love on myself, and on others. So can you, and it’s a game-changer.

Sending you all a huge hug and gratitude for being here, and so much love, today and always.

Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. If you’re loving it, and have the means, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you!

The Sacred Bali retreat is just three months away. Join me and David Gandelman in stunning Bali in May for a weeklong retreat of meditation, breathwork, self-reflection and fun. Info here.

Hi Friends,

Substack is doing some cool things. They have AI-generated transcription, so when you post a video, the platform transcribes it if you want it to. For those of you not into watching videos, you can now read what I say in the videos I post. The writing isn’t as refined, but it does sound like my speaking voice, because it is. I cleaned it up a little bit, because I say Right? way too often.

Before sharing the transcription below, I wanted to make you aware of several upcoming offerings. Just click on the underlined events that interest you for more details. To avoid Eventbrite service fees, you are welcome to Venmo me your registration fees for my solo events. Just be sure to include your email. Venmo ID: @Scott-Stabile-1

Monday, January 15th: Sacred Bali Retreat Information call. If you’re curious about my May Bali retreat with David Gandelman, we’ll be talking all about it.

Thursday, January 18th: Live Breathwork Journey in Ferndale, Michigan. Come journey with me in person!

Saturday, January 27th: Enough as You Are Workshop in Ferndale, Michigan. We’re going to love the hell out of ourselves. Hugs guaranteed.

Sunday, January 28th: Inward: Writing for Self-Discovery Workshop (online via Zoom). Let’s get real with ourselves, together.

February 7th-12th: Sayulita, Mexico retreat with Jacob Nordby & David Gandelman. Counting down the days for this one. Bring on the fun and bring on the sun!

May 4th - 11th: Sacred Bali retreat with David Gandelman. Meditation, breathwork, self-reflection, community, all in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Okay, here’s the transcription for the video above:

Hey, what's up friends.

So today I've been thinking about awareness, about paying attention, and the power that lives in the act of paying attention to our lives and the choices we're making, and how those choices affect us, how they feel.

It can feel very easy to feel out of control, and like we don't have the power in our lives that we actually have. When we start to pay attention to our choices in a different way, and really check in with ourselves as we're doing something: How does it feel to do this thing that I'm doing?

Do I feel uplifted by it? Do I feel depleted by it?

If the answer is I feel depleted by it and this is something I'm continuing to do in my life over and over and over again, then there's the opportunity to stop doing it, right? To bring awareness to the fact that this thing I continue to do actually doesn't feel good, actually doesn't uplift me, it depletes me. It feels more harmful than healthy.

The more we bring awareness to our choices, the more active we can become in aligning with choices that actually serve us, that actually bring peace or joy or connection or meaning or whatever it is we're seeking in our lives. And the more we can start eliminating the choices that don't.

Of course, this doesn't mean we're always going to be perfect about it, or that we're always going to eliminate unhealthy choices. We're all making unhealthy choices. In that case, we can remember that we're human and part of being human is to make unhealthy choices. And we can be really gentle and loving with ourselves when we do, instead of choosing to shame ourselves and abuse ourselves and belittle ourselves because of the unhealthy choices we're making. We can eliminate that step.

But I think so much starts with awareness. It starts with a willingness to pay attention to our lives and understand that we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Our power lives in our awareness, it lives in our intention, it lives in the actions we take, the words we speak, the thoughts we think, it lives in our willingness to align ourselves, as far as I believe, with love, with compassion, as often as possible.

And then we start to feel a little less out of control because we are taking control of the things we can take control of, which is essentially who we are, how we're showing up, the choices we're making, the words we're speaking. We don't have control over anything else out there.

Right? We see that over and over and over again.

As much as we want to control people, as much as we want to control the people in our lives and make them do and be the people we want them to be, we can’t. So let's take responsibility for the one thing we can control, which is ourselves. Let's bring awareness to how we're showing up. If we want to see more love in the world, let's be the love that we want to see in the world. If we want to see more compassion in the world, as we all do, let's be an example of the compassion we want to see. If we want to see more forgiveness in the world, how are we doing with forgiveness? If we want to see more kindness in the world, what choices are we making around kindness?

What choices are you making? That's what you have power over.

When I feel overwhelmed by what I'm seeing out there, it's a reminder for me to go within, to get back to my story, to get back to my choices, to get back to the power I have to be an example of all the things that I want to see in the world. Then I feel a lot less overwhelmed, typically a lot less out of control because I'm controlling what I can. And again, when I'm not controlling what I can, I'm being really kind to myself. I'm reminding myself that I'm human.

You're human. We're human beings with human minds. Human minds are insane. We're doing the best we can be doing. We don't have to shame ourselves. Shame's not a healer.

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about.

I love you all and I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us. I believe in love with everything I've got and all that love invites into our lives. And I believe that love is the one thing that stands to create real healing in our world. So my commitment to love is as deep as ever and I love you.

Big, big love.

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Be sure to check out the exciting news at the end of the email.

Hi Friends,

Are you up for the challenge of intentional self-love this weekend (and beyond)? Watch the video (4 minutes long) and let me know one or two or ten ways you plan to love yourself.

As I wrote in Enough as You Are, Self-love is a skill, and as with all skills, the more you practice at it, the better you become. It’s the only possibility. By deepening your love for yourself, you naturally deepen the love you have for others as well, and for our planet. With love as a guiding force, all is possible, all the time.

Wishing you all a beautiful weekend, however that looks and feels for you.

So much love!

Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

EXCITING NEWS:

Many of you are likely familiar with my dear friend Jacob Nordby. Well, Jacob invited me and David Gandelman to offer some breathwork and meditation at his upcoming yoga, creative renewal and self-discovery retreat in Sayulita Mexico, and he’s just announced a HUGE DISCOUNT ON REGISTRATION for the event. As he put it in a recent email…

We want to make this an easy(er) YES for you.

You can get $1,300 off the Private Room rate or $1,147 off the Shared Room rate, PLUS we've added a "Hostel-Style" room option for just $1,000.AND if you choose Private Room, you can bring a travel partner to share that room with you at no extra cost!

See below for the coupon codes!

COUPON CODESPrivate Room: MX2024 for $1,300 off (travel partner $0)Shared Room: MX2024SR for $1,147 offIf you want to grab a "Hostel Style" spot for just $1,000, visit the page now!Note: coupon codes are case sensitive, so please use all-caps.

GO HERE for information and to register. See you in the sunshine!

For those interested in the Sacred Bali retreat with me and David Gandelman, join us for an informational call on Monday, January 15th, to answer any questions you might have about the experience. We’ll gather on Zoom and talk about what a truly extraordinary week this is going to be. GO HERE to register for the call.

Also, if you are a yoga teacher who would like to lead a daily one-hour yoga class, or a photographer who would be willing to snap photos throughout the week, we’re offering a significant discount on registration in exchange for your talents. Reach out if you’d like to explore this possibility.

Three things first:

* Join me during the day THIS SUNDAY on New Year’s Eve for Imagine It!, a creative visualization workshop to carry us into this new year with intention and imagination. It’s going to be fun, energizing and powerful.

* Join me and David Gandelman in stunning Bali in May of next year for a weeklong retreat of meditation, breathwork self-reflection and fun. As of today, there is only one room type still available (as either a single or a double). They’re gorgeous villas, so you’ll be pleased. Info here.

* My buddy Jacob Nordby invited me and David Gandelman to join in on a retreat he’s offering in Sayulita, Mexico in February (soon!). I’ll be guiding some breathwork sessions and doing a lot of hanging out in the sun. Info here.

* There’s a fourth thing now and it’s free!

I just learned (literally in the last five minutes an email came through) that Krishna Das is going to be talking about and leading kirtan LIVE and FREE on January 2nd at 8:30pm EST. I saw him live in Santa Fe a couple years ago and it was a profoundly gorgeous experience. It’s through the Shift network and they’ll send out the recording to those who sign up, if you can’t make it live. I’m excited for this. Info here.

Hi Friends,

The video is from April of 2021, and I’m glad I watched it again because I needed the reminder. It is too easy to succumb to the darkness of this world and forget our inherent power.

I rarely listen to or watch anything I’ve done, but I’m going through all these old videos because I feel like there are some helpful perspectives in them. I’m getting better at detaching myself from the me in the videos and doing my best to take them in objectively. Of course, I still notice every imperfection, both in my appearance and my speech. Our minds can be such b*****s.

What I appreciate about this video is the simple reminder that it is in us to feel whatever we’ve felt before. If you’ve ever felt inner peace, even for a moment, it’s in you to feel it again. If you’ve ever felt self-love, even for an instant, it’s in you to feel it again. We can start believing that we don’t have the capacity to feel the things we want to feel, when the truth is we’ve likely already felt some version of these things many times before in many different ways.

Bottom line: it’s all within us. It’s all within you. And every time we align with what feels most peaceful, or creative, or compassionate, or true within us, we not only serve ourselves but those we love and our entire world. It’s the only possibility.

I’d love to hear how the video landed for you, and any additional perspectives you’d like to offer. Let me know.

As we move into this New Year, let’s remember who we are at our core — wildly creative, loving and peaceful beings — and let’s commit (I mean, if you want to of course) to expressing what feels most true within.

Wishing you all a beautiful New Year, filled with possibility, and joy, and connection, and so so so much love.

All love, always,

Scott

p.s. Really think about joining me this Sunday for Imagine It! If you feel a strong call and money is a concern, reach out and we’ll work something out. Don’t be shy.

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Three things first:

* Today (12/19) is the last day to get all New World Library books, including Enough as You Are and Big Love, at 50% off. That means Enough as You Are is only $8.97.

* Join me for Online Breathwork tomorrow, Dec. 20th, at 5pm pst / 8pm est.

* Join me during the day on New Year’s Eve for Imagine It!, a creative visualization workshop to carry us into this new year with intention and imagination.

Hi Friends,

I recorded the above video in August of 2021. I don’t recall if I shared it anywhere. I could have recorded the exact same video today, or last year, or in 2018 or 2016 or pick a year. We live in a violent and insane world. We’re all feeling it to some degree. I’m someone who practices (and doesn’t always succeed) at looking for the potential gifts when everything feels like it’s falling apart. I focus on one potential gift throughout this video and invite you to share other potential gifts you are feeling during this difficult time, in this often too-difficult reality.

I say f**k and b******t a lot in the video, just FYI. If you can make it through the profanity and the general heaviness, I’m hopeful you’ll find something that resembles inspiration, or at least a gentle/maybe-not-so-gentle nudge toward a deeper commitment to truth, and to love.

I’d love to know how you feel about receiving more videos in general, and invite you (always) to share with me how you feel this newsletter could feel more meaningful and fulfilling for you. I’m all ears.

I’m grateful for your presence here. Sending you all so much love.

Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Join me and David Gandelman in Bali next May. There’s nothing I’m looking more forward to in 2024 than this retreat. Details here.

Hi Friends,

FIRST, SOMETHING COOL:

My publisher, New World Library, is offering 50% off all of their books, including Enough as You Are and Big Love. It’s an incredible opportunity to stock up on some great books at a huge discount. Enough as You Are is only $8.97! I’m biased, but it makes a really great gift. The sale runs until Dec. 19th.

ANOTHER SOMETHING COOL:

I’ve just announced a visualization workshop called Imagine It!, to take place on New Year’s Eve day (9am PST / 12pm EST / 5pm GMT). Let’s head into the new year with intention and imagination, reminding ourselves we are not only beautiful, worthy humans but also the powerful creators of our own experience.

I recorded the short video above several months back. Please ignore the “Happy Monday” part, unless you’re seeing it on a Monday, of course. Substack is making it easier to integrate videos, and I suspect I’ll be sharing more videos moving forward. I’ll try to keep them short and sweet, but I do like to talk so we’ll see. Let me know what you think of this one.

The bottom line: We don’t have to wait to fix or achieve anything or show up differently in our lives in order to start loving ourselves. We can begin with self-love, start with a willingness and commitment to love ourselves no matter what, and see what realities unfold from there.

You are worthy of the deepest love you have to share. I promise.

So much love to you all!

Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Our Bali retreat is just five months out and a beautiful group is coming together for it. Meditation, Breathwork, Sacred Springs, Community, Yoga, Massage, Delicious Food, SO MUCH FUN. Join us!

If you’d rather listen to than read today’s writing, just click on the recording above.

Before we dive into today’s writing, I want to highlight two things:

If you’re looking for a great gift for others or yourself, you can get signed/personalized copies of my books through my website here. Order them sooner than later if you want them for the holidays.

My next online workshop, Enough as You Are: Turning Self-judgment into Self-love, happens on Sunday, December 10th. Go here for details and registration.

Hi Friends,

I’ve been doing a bunch of podcast interviews lately for Enough as You Are, and one of the hosts (I don’t remember whom) said some version of the following: All paths lead to death. They said this not as a morose reminder of our mortality, but as an invitation to walk whatever path feels most aligned with your heart. To let yourself be freer with your choices, because death is the endgame for all of us, so why not do whatever it is you feel called to do on the way there. It’s not like if you do this and not that or that and not this, you’re not going to die eventually.

One of the more liberating realizations I’ve had in my life aligns with this idea that all paths lead to death. Years ago I came to the understanding that no matter what I say or do in my life, I will be judged by some people. Whether I choose to live in line with my conditioning or with my authenticity, I will be judged. So will you. Knowing this, why choose the conditioning? Why choose falseness? Why choose the compulsion to meet the expectations of others when they’re counter to our heart’s desires? We can instead choose authenticity. Truth. Freedom. At least more often than we are right now, yes?

It’s hard to accept that we’ll be judged no matter what we do, just as it’s hard to accept that all paths lead to death. These are not the most joy-filled realizations. And yet, in that acceptance there is — or can be — a sweet liberation. At the very least, an invitation.

In Enough as You Are, I put it like this:

Some people will not jibe with who you are and what you have to say. Some will misunderstand you, while others may understand you perfectly well and simply not like you, for whatever reason. All of this has nothing to do with you, not really. You can’t control how others respond to you.

Try not to limit yourself, your authentic expression, out of fear of being judged or criticized or made fun of. We are judged, criticized, and made fun of by some no matter how we choose to show up. That’s one of the less fun parts of being human.

And yes, it’s true that if you keep quiet, blend in, or hide yourself, you won’t attract as much attention or judgment from others. (People are more comfortable with those who stay silent.) But — and this is a big but — when you hide yourself behind your fears and live in a whisper when you were born to sing, you don’t invite the same beautiful connections and possibilities that come with living your life out loud. Not fearless, but brave just the same. So committed to being yourself that you forget how to be anyone else. More than anything, free.

It’s really difficult to step outside of our desire to be liked, or accepted, or understood by others. Or outside of our fear of not being any of those things. I live with all those desires, and walk arm-in-arm with the fear of being judged, pretty much all the time. What’s changed for me is that, though I care about what others think of me, and expect I always will to some degree, I’ve grown to care much more about what I think of myself. Yes, I’m afraid to be judged, and yes, I’m more willing than ever to align with what feels most true to me, even when I know judgment will come my way. Both things are true.

We all know this, but it bears repeating: We are with ourselves every moment of every day of our entire lives. There will never be a more important relationship than the one we have with ourselves. Me with me, and you with you. And it will always be within our power to strengthen that relationship, should we choose to.

I am as committed as I have ever been to deepening the relationship I have with myself, to offering myself kindness, compassion and grace. Again and again. It is this very commitment, and the actions I take to support it, that allow me to show up more authentically than ever, and to experience the seriously beautiful benefits that come with living more honestly. Self-love helps us move forward with our fears, rather than allowing the fears to keep us from moving forward as often. Self-love allows us to take risks we might have not have otherwise taken, to face the possibility of failure, to make changes we feel called to make. When you know you’ve got your back, no matter what, you show up for your life differently. More courageously. More honestly.

And the beautiful benefits I referred to above are not just those we experience for ourselves. In Enough as You Are I write the following:

Not everyone will be able to handle your truth. Some will condemn you, and that’s okay. People fear what they don’t understand. But there’s a sweet flip side. A balance. Some will be so inspired by your courage, by your willingness to be yourself, that they’ll begin to open up to a truth inside themselves they didn’t know was there. Or did know but were too scared to acknowledge. They will start to dance into their freedom, groove into all that makes them unique. And you will have been the spark to their light, because you were strong enough, brave enough to ignite your own. Your happiness is reason enough to be yourself, but if you need another, think of the others, think of our world of followers needing someone to lead. Needing to lead themselves. Home.

Whatever it is that gets you to align yourself with your heart more often, and thereby with your truth, I recommend giving some attention to it. Whether it’s knowing that all paths lead to death, or that you’ll be judged no matter what, or that your alignment paves the way for others to connect with their hearts as well, let it be one more source of motivation to say yes to yourself and to your life. You are wildly loving and worthy of the deepest love you have to share. Start sharing it with yourself like never before, and your life will change for the better. It’s the only possibility.

I challenge you, right now, to share one thing you love about yourself. Center in your heart and click the comment button below and share with us some of your self-love. If it’s easier to use the word appreciate than love, then share something you appreciate about yourself. I would love to know.

If you want to take a deeper dive into self-love practices, and ways to work with your mind when it’s spinning in self-judgment and self-abuse, I’d love for you to join me on Sunday, December 10th, for my new online workshop called Enough as You Are: Turning Self-judgment into Self-Love. It’s three hours with the option to partake in an hourlong breathwork journey at the end.

To be clear, I don’t look at any of us as broken or needing to be fixed. I see us as people who simply need to remember who we are at our core: extraordinarily peaceful and loving beings. The work I feel most called to do is to remind us of our innate peace and love, and to invite us to share these energies with ourselves first and then watch how much more willing we become to share them with others. To share them in general.

As with all of my personal workshops, those who are paid subscribers to this newsletter receive a significant discount. I’d love for you to join me on the 10th if you’re able. And if you’re feeling a strong call but finances are an issue, send me an email and we’ll work something out.

Before I sign off I’d like to remind you of this, without a doubt: You are beautiful, worthy and enough, as you are. I promise, just as you are.

I love you so much,

Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. A beautiful way to support my work here, if you have the means, is to become a paid subscriber. Thank you so much.

The Sacred Bali retreat is less than six months away! Join me and my good buddy David Gandelman, and a beautiful group of open-hearted souls, for a week (May 4th - 11th) in one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

JUST ANNOUNCED: A new workshop called Enough as You Are: Turning Self-judgment into Self-love, on Sunday December 10th. Details here.

Also, a reminder that David Gandelman and I are holding our Sacred Bali retreat in May of next year. There’s a beautiful group forming for this weeklong event. Join us! Details here.

Hi Friends,

I’m writing the following thoughts in the second person (to you) but rest assured I’m writing this all to myself as well. That’s always the case, because really, we are all the same. Please remember, no matter what: you are beautiful, worthy and enough, just as you are. Really, just as you are.

Who you are right now is someone you have never been before, so limiting yourself based on past versions of yourself doesn’t make sense. It is possible to reflect on your past in a way that serves rather than limits you, that nudges you forward rather than keeps you stuck. You may not have a say in many of the thoughts that pour through your mind, but you do have a say in the perspective you give to them. Be generous with yourself. Give yourself grace.

It is in you to love all aspects of yourself, even what you consider to be unlikable, even what you judge or try to deny, even the parts that are unable to love all aspects of yourself. Self-love is a skill, and like all skills, the more you practice at it the better you become. When you find yourself mired in self-abusive thinking, try taking yourself out of your mind and connecting with your heart. Invite the love in. Ask love what it has to say about you, and as much as you can, listen to this voice of love that is alive within you. It will only ever remind you of your beauty, your strength and your worth.

You may not be able to choose happiness, but you are certainly able to make choices that tend to lead to happiness. Consider the habits, relationships and hobbies that make you smile, that are fun and meaningful, that remind you how beautiful life can be, and carve out more time for them. Prioritize them, and watch as you find happiness choosing you more often.

If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. It’s okay to wait until you are.

The more gentle you are with yourself, the more honest you’re able to be about your needs, desires and limitations. When you are willing to offer yourself compassion —no matter what you discover about yourself — you invite truer discoveries, real reflections not inhibited by shame and self-loathing. To know yourself for real requires that you love yourself for real too. It’s never too late to begin this process.

It’s possible sometimes to try too hard. And wise sometimes to walk away.

Resist the compulsion to shame others for having different opinions than you, or for not showing up in the way you are, or in the way you believe they should be. Nothing of value comes from this kind of shaming behavior; it just contributes to more division and more war. It is possible to be clear and loud about your convictions and your activism without condemning others for theirs, without dehumanizing your fellow human beings in order to make a point. If more peace and love is truly what you want to see in our world, then it is incumbent upon you to be an example of more peace and more love. Nothing of value needs to be compromised in order to do so.

This, from my new book, Enough as You Are, feels especially relevant: It’s one thing to acknowledge how difficult life can be, but it’s another to focus on it, to talk about everything that feels wrong all the time, to act like there is only darkness and misery here. In our compulsion not to deny the harsh realities of this unpredictable existence, we often end up denying life’s extraordinary beauty. We focus our gaze on division and blind ourselves to real connection; we seek out examples of brutality and ignore the many moments of kindness; we bind ourselves to the opinions of others and silence the deep wisdom of our hearts. In our effort to avoid spiritual bypassing we pass right by the endless exhibits of love on this planet, within this humanity, from one to another and another to one. There is so much hardship — yes, too much — and there is so much beauty too. Where are you looking, and what are you looking for?

Gratitude is one of the fastest paths to joy. Whether or not you are celebrating Thanksgiving, consider taking some time (even two minutes) to speak out loud what it is about your life you feel grateful for. Really let yourself sink into a state of appreciation for everything that is working in your life, for the relationships that bring you joy, for the lessons that have helped you grow, for whatever it is your heart feels called to appreciate. Notice how you feel when you are immersed in gratitude, and allow that feeling to compel you to acknowledge your appreciation more often.

There is nothing wrong with you. Really. You’re human, like the rest of us. Try giving yourself some grace.

I’d love to know which of these thoughts resonated most with you, and if you feel like sharing some of your gratitudes, I’d be delighted to know.

I love you all so much and appreciate your presence here. For all those celebrating, I wish you a beautiful Thanksgiving. For all those struggling, I send you a huge energetic hug and an extra heaping dose of love.

With gratitude and love,

Scott

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Hi Friends,

I had a lot I wanted to share today so I recorded a podcast episode rather than what would have been an exceedingly long essay. This recording captures just some of my thoughts about the state of our world, and the place for love within it.

The piece I read from the poet Andrea Gibson can be found here.

Sending you all so much love, and my deepest prayer for peace across our planet, and a peace within our own hearts that can make this greater peace possible.

xoxo…Scott

Bigger Love is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

My new book, Enough as You Are, is out now. Here’s the piece of writing from the book I shared in the recording:

Join me and David Gandelman for our Sacred Bali retreat from May 4th-11th next year. If you feel the call and can make it happen, I can’t encourage you enough to make it happen. It’s going to be an extraordinarily powerful, joyful and meaningful week. For real. Go HERE for details.