I had a constant tug of war between my head and my heart. My heart wanted and knew I could love and be loved in return, but my little ego believed I was too messed up for anyone to love me. It was torture. ​​And even though I wanted to be in love I was scared to let love in so I kept attracting men who weren't emotionally available which reinforced my belief that I'd be alone forever. A painful cycle that reached its end when I met Steve.