Diaries of a homosexual

I got plastic surgery and it was a lot! There were complications, plenty of emotions, and it brought up things that I haven't thought about in a long time. So many different experiences lead me to finding a plastic surgeon in the middle of the night on my phone in Berlin and I REALLY shared it all. Maybe a little too much, but I hope you can relate to the stories I tell and have a laugh because wtf.

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This week, I wanted to share an old audio file I found while procrastinating on studying for my exams. I did this interview with my dad back in early 2022, not too long after coming out to him. We have definitely had a complicated relationship throughout my life, but I love him so much and have been able to get much closer over the past years. I cried multiple times while editing this episode, and I hope it can maybe help even just one person. I love you all. Thanks for listening; I hope you enjoy.

A month in Rio. Living in the favelas, yacht parties, climbing Christ the Redeemer twice (once wasn't enough, apparently), and kissing what felt like half the city. Luckily, my friend Hannah came along for the chaos and this episode is us trying to make sense of the best month of our lives.

They say every night in Europe tells a story, but this week on Diaries of a Homosexual, my nights told a full-blown saga one with fashion statements, criminal investigations, and kebab-line philosophers.

First, Maddie met a man in only a skirt who wasn’t just rewriting the rules of fashion but possibly her entire worldview. Meanwhile, my attempt to break into Berghain didn’t just end in rejection, it ended with me solving a crime. Who knew the bouncers were gatekeeping the club and Berlin’s unsolved mysteries?

Then there was the train incident: me running like I was auditioning for the Olympics, only to end up with bloody arms and linen pants that would make any dry cleaner weep. And because subtlety isn’t my forte, I thought disguising my lesbian friend as a little boy to sneak into a men’s club was a genius idea. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

The night peaked in a McDonald’s bathroom, where I was mid-vomit/makeout when a fight broke out. The kind of scene that makes you question if you’re the protagonist or just an innocent bystander in life’s absurd sitcom. Maddie’s insights on love and heartbreak came later, as we untangled the lessons buried in our collective chaos.

And just when I thought the night couldn’t be saved, a stranger in a kebab line handed me advice so profound, I’m now calling it my guiding life philosophy. This episode isn’t just about the drama it’s about what we learn from it, whether it’s how to laugh at our own misfortune or how to move forward with style (and maybe a new pair of pants).

If you’re craving more scandal and self-discovery (and, honestly, who isn’t), subscribe to my Patreon. Because if my life is a train wreck, you at least deserve a front-row seat.

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After a breakup, some people find themselves. I found ten men and a one-way ticket to Germany.

In this episode, I take you through my wild post-breakup European summer where Germany became my playground, and heartbreak turned into cliff jumping, free Dua Lipa concerts, and some questionable decisions. Picture me, juggling five men at once like a circus act with no safety net. But here’s the kicker, while I was trying to figure out if any of them were boyfriend material, Amsterdam decided to toss me out of a bar (drugged, no less), while my friend Maddie met the love of her life.

Was it love? Lust? Or just a chaotic rebound tour of Europe? Pack your metaphorical bags because this story is only getting started.

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Still stalking your ex? You and I both know that has to stop. This week I'm spilling everything that happened after the breakup and how I moved on. You'll also get to hear a snippet of the distrack I wrote for my British man after we learned some insane information about his ex. Stay till the end for when I answer your messages in a new segment called CALL KRISJAY.

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Join me on Patreon for access to the full distracks, exclusive monthly bonus content, monthly live Q&A advice sessions, exclusive voting rights, group chats with me, weekly diary entries, and a letter sent to you every month in the mail from me!

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Breakups suck...really bad but hopefully you learn some important lessons. I know I sure did! Although this was recorded DAYS after going through one, it will equip you with some tools to handle situations like these because (not to brag) but I feel like it was handled pretty well (on my end). Maybe you're just nosey like me or maybe you'll take something out of it but I PROMISE you will not be bored.

this week I explain the juicy details of my six-month hiatus, following your passions, how I have been improving myself, and what the future of the podcast will be. There is some real advice in here that you definitely won't want to miss.

Feeling anxious about being alone forever? got no rizz? This week let's talk about some things that have helped me to feel less anxious when it comes to relationships and how to get good at being alone. It's important to feel good about yourself before you start dating so let me share with you some of the things I do every day that keep me feeling confident (I guarantee you haven't heard of them). When things start going well in the relationship department it's impossible to know the right time to pop the "L word" but let me give you my rule of thumb on how to tell if it's that time.

Join me this week as I share about my recent trip to LA, where I discovered that there are two different types of fun. What happens when you come back from your trip and realize you've been procrastinating on work? Don't worry. I've got your back with some handy tips on how to get things done even when you've left it to the last minute. I will also tell you my pro tips for a vacation so you don't end up with mild arsenic poisoning from tap water.

And speaking of things that come out of nowhere, let me tell you about Teefy, the guy who headbutted me on the Skytrain in Vancouver. Yes, it really happened, and I'll share the valuable lessons I learned from the experience.

I'll also touch on first kiss nerves. I'll share some personal stories and tips on overcoming those jitters and making that first kiss a success.

Lastly, we'll tackle the age-old question of whether they actually like you or if you're just delusional. Trust me; we've all been there, and those things they're doing you think are signs they like you may mean just what you think they do.

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