Gentle comedy writing read out loud will make your day so I am pleased to feature these on my new show.
the diary of a nobody by george and whedon grossmith read for librivox.org by martin clifton chapter two tradesman and the scraper still troublesome going rather tiresome with his complaints of the paint i make one of the best jokes of my life delights of gardening mr stillbrook gowing cummings and i have a little misunderstanding sarah makes me look a fool before cummings

april the 9th commence the morning badly the butcher whom we decided not to arrange with called and blaggered me in the most uncalled for manner he began by abusing me and saying he did not want my custom i simply said then what are you making all this fuss about it for and he shouted at the top of his voice so that all the neighbors could hear pah go along i could buy up things like you by the dozen i shut the door and was giving carrie to understand that this disgraceful scene was entirely her fault when there was a violent kicking at the door enough to break the panels it was the blaggard butcher again who said he had cut his foot over the scraper and would immediately bring an action against me called at farmersons the ironmonger on my way to town and gave him the job of moving the scraper and repairing the bells thinking it's scarcely worthwhile to trouble the landlord with such a trifling matter arrived home tired and worried mr putley a painter and decorator who had sent in a card said he could not match the colour on the stairs as it contained indian carmine he said he spent half a day calling at warehouses to see if he could get it he suggested he should entirely repaint the stairs it would cost very little more if he tried to match it he could only make a bad job of it it would be more satisfactory to him and to us to have the work done properly i consented but felt i had been talked over planted some mustard and cress and radishes and went to bed at nine april the 10th farmerson came round to attend the scraper himself he seems a very civil fellow he says he does not usually conduct such small jobs personally but for me he would do so i thanked him and went to town it is disgraceful how late some of the young clerks are at arriving i told three of them that if mr perkup the principal heard of it they might be discharged pierce a monkey of 17 who has only been with us six weeks told me to keep my hair on i informed him that i had had the honour of being in the firm 20 years to which he instantly replied that i looked it i gave him an indignant look and said i demand from you some respect sir he replied all right go on demanding i would not argue with him any further you cannot argue with people like that in the evening gowing called and repeated his complaint about the smell of paint gowing is sometimes very tedious with his remarks and not always cautious and carrie once very properly reminded him that she was present

april the 11th mustard and cress and radishes not come up yet today was a day of annoyances i missed the quarter to nine bus to the city through having words with the grosses boy who for the second time had the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall door and had left the marks of his dirty boots on the fresh cleaned doorsteps he said he had knocked the side door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour i knew sarah our servant could not hear this as she was upstairs doing the bedrooms so ask the boy why he did not ring the bell he replied that he did pull the bell but the handle came off in his hand i was half an hour late at the office a thing that has never happened to me before there has recently been much irregularity in the attendance of the clerks and mr perkup our principal unfortunately chose this very morning to pounce down upon us early someone had given the tip to the others the result was that i was the only one late of the lot buckling one of the senior clerks was a brick and i...