What if some of the things we once thought were proof of love were actually signs of fear, insecurity or emotional dependence?

In this episode, I talk about three things I used to interpret as love when I was younger and now, as an adult, I see them very differently.

We also get into why feeling “special” can make us mistake unhealthy behaviour for affection, and what changes when you stop relying on someone else's behaviour to tell you what you're worth.

A little uncomfortable, a little reflective, and hopefully useful.

Content note: This episode contains a brief mention of suicide.

Sometimes, we spend so much time trying to be seen by the wrong people that we forget about the ones who have always been there.

This week, I’m thinking about friendship, belonging, and what it means to have people who love you through every version of yourself.

Because the people who love you already do.

I thought giving away ten laptops to students would be easy. I was wrong.

Over 500 applications, some questionable decisions, a few lessons in how to receive good news, and one person who tried something truly wild.

This episode is about what stood out to me about people, integrity, and the stuff school skips.

Some days, the work you love feels like work. And on those days, motivation can be hard to find.

This week, I found mine in two places: the consequences of not doing the work, and a really good bánh mì.

In this episode, I'm thinking about the things that push us when we don't feel like moving and the things that pull us forward when we need something to look forward to. Because maybe we don't have to wait for motivation to magically appear. Maybe we can create our own reasons to keep going.

I miss arguing with people. Not because I enjoy arguing, but because I liked knowing what people actually thought. Now, sometimes I read a comment and wonder: is this person speaking, or is their AI speaking through them? AI is an incredible tool, but what happens when we stop using it to sharpen our thinking and start using it to think for us? Maybe the thing we should be protecting most in the age of AI is the one thing that makes us human: our ability to think.

Why do we stay silent when something is clearly wrong?

From an awkward moment on a plane, to feedback at work and the things we notice with our kids, this episode is about how sometimes saying the uncomfortable truth is actually the kinder thing to do.

I share the simple 3-part approach I use to give honest feedback without being a jerk.

Start small. Say the thing. Work those muscles.

The Be The Bad Guy article I talked about.

A friend told me she'd failed at her marriage. I told her she hadn't. Not because the marriage didn't end, but because a marriage failing and you failing at marriage are two different sentences. This episode is about the failures that are genuinely yours to own, the ones that were never yours to carry, and how to tell the difference. Sometimes life is living us, not the other way round.

You feel attacked. That doesn’t mean you are. This episode is about the habit of defensiveness — the difference between someone judging you and you assuming they are, and how to break the pattern with some class 😉

“No” is two letters, but also a full sentence. In this episode, we discuss why you’re not the custodian of everyone’s feelings and the difference between explaining your “no” and justifying it. Say more nos. Trust me, the world will remain in place.

The Science of Self Preservation: https://aybee.fika.bar/the-science-of-self-preservation-01KQV74R39SM01FQKJBK9JKT2E

Feelings are as unreliable as the UK weather. They change as information changes, or as time passes. In this episode, I break down why feelings should get a voice but not a vote, and what to base your decisions on instead.