After months of silence, I’m finally ready to speak.

This episode is a raw confession , of drifting, drowning, and losing the light inside me while life pulled me under. I talk about the nights I cried without understanding why, the prayers that felt hollow, and the distance from Allah that terrified me more than anything.

But I also talk about the moment everything shifted:

standing outside a masjid, crying before the words could even form, finally admitting that something was wrong, and finally realizing that Allah never leaves a heart that still wants Him, even faintly.

This is a story of struggle, of faith worn thin, of the slow return after feeling spiritually empty.

It’s for anyone who’s been there…

and for those who haven’t, so you can recognize the signs in those you love.

This isn’t a comeback story wrapped in perfection.

It’s a beginning, the kind that starts with trembling steps and whispered du’a.

Welcome back to the journey.

We’re finding our way home together.

In this Episode of Diary of A Wavering Soul we are no longer wavering in 2018. Join me as we enter the year of 2022. The year in which Sabr and Tawwakul has became known to me. I have not yet mastered these skills but I am beginning to ponder on what it means to portray the two. Sometimes Sabr is more than just knowing patience, its understanding it and working with it. I am learning how to let go. I don't know it yet but this would be one of the best things for my mental health. It starts with a small step and with time, it gets a bit easier.

In this episode of Diary of A Wavering Soul, I reflect on my struggles with doubt and uncertainty in my faith. I share the questions and fears that have been weighing on my heart- wondering if my prayers are truly heard, if I'm doing enough, and if my faith is real. I talk about the disconnect I sometimes feel, and how hard it can be to hold on when everything feels unclear. But I also remind listeners that doubt is a natural part of the journey, and that faith isn't about perfection but about trust. Despite the struggle I encourage myself (and you) to keep showing up, to keep striving, and to trust that Allah's plan is greater than our understanding.

In this opening episode of The Weight of Doubt, we begin by exploring the first step in the journey of struggling with faith: recognizing and acknowledging doubt. For many, doubts about Islam can arise quietly, almost unnoticed, and over time they grow into larger questions about belief, identity, and purpose.

This episode serves as a starting point—a space to reflect on the doubts that often go unspoken. We’ll talk about how doubt can creep in unexpectedly, whether it's doubts about religious practices, understanding the teachings of Islam, or the challenges of balancing faith with the complexities of everyday life.

We’ll also discuss the importance of allowing yourself to notice these doubts without fear or shame, and how this acknowledgment is the first step toward addressing them. Whether you're questioning something specific or feeling a general sense of uncertainty, this episode is about creating an open space to begin the conversation and understand that doubt is a natural part of the journey of faith.

Tune in as we set the stage for deeper reflection and exploration in future episodes, offering a gentle reminder that struggling with faith doesn't mean you're lost—it's just the beginning of a meaningful journey. 💌