We met at 23. Fell hard. Traveled the world. Got pregnant. Built a life...and somewhere along the way... I disappeared. 

In this episode 1 : part 1 of Dickmatized and Disappointed, I take you all the way back to when I first met Baxter (aka the man I spent 15 trying to love, save and fix). From our Eat-Pray-Love style backpacking honeymoon phase to the moment he told me he never really loved - this is the raw, romanticized beginning of a relationship that should've ended WAY sooner. 

This is where the red flags start.

This is how it all began. 

It didn't happen all at once. It was years of trying, forgiving, shrinking and staying for the kids. Until the lying, the cocaine and the final straw broke my will one last time.

In episode 1 : part 2, I walk you through the downfall. The emotional detachment. The addiction. The betrayal and the rage-filled, liberating moment I finally told him I was done. 

This isn't just the end of a relationship. It's the beginning of a women reclaiming herself - and getting ready to step back into the dating world that would soon show her just how messy, magnetic and dickmatizing it could get!