Difference Makers Podcast

The Arrival

I’d always known that life had a twisted sense of humour. But I wasn’t expecting my latest punchline to arrive in the form of a fluttering parchment letter, as if delivered straight from some medieval courier. I mean, who still writes letters for Pete’s sake? The inked scrawl promised answers to the swirling mess of thoughts that had cluttered my head for as long as I could remember—thoughts I’d long since given up on organising. Subconscious struggles, the letter said. Almost sounded clinical. But I wasn’t one to turn down a good mystery. Even if it meant getting on a rusty boat and setting sail for an island with the subtly ominous name of Eden.

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Eden. The name alone dripped with irony. I stepped off the boat, the sand warm beneath my boots, and took in the sight of the island—a lush, tropical paradise that seemed to pulse with life. It was beautiful, sure, but there was something... off. It was serene in that way a calm ocean looks before swallowing a ship. Looming in the distance, like a disapproving parent in silent judgment of my every step, a tower so tall it scraped the sky. My eyes traced its jagged silhouette, and I felt a flutter of something between excitement and dread. The letter had mentioned something about a “Triangle of Influence” at the top of that tower. Influence over minds, over emotions. Control.

I snorted. Control, huh? As if anyone had real control over anything. But I was here, wasn’t I? Curiosity, as they say, killed the cat. Or at least lured it into a very questionable situation.

And so I took my first steps toward the tower, heart thudding in sync with a bible verse that floated into my mind—something my old mentor used to say whenever I got too deep in my own head: What you think shapes who you are. Proverbs, I think. Or maybe just his own brand of wisdom. Either way, the message was clear: I needed to get my thoughts in order if I had any hope of making it to the top.

The Whisper

The path to the tower was unnervingly quiet, save for the occasional rustle of the wind in the trees. I found myself jumping at every shadow, expecting some monstrous beast to leap out and drag me into the underbrush. But no, something far more unsettling awaited me.

A figure stepped out from behind a tree, cloaked in shadows and wearing an expression that hinted they knew far more than they were letting on. “You seek the Triangle of Influence,” they said, their voice a low whisper that seemed to curl around my brain like smoke.

I nodded, feeling a prickle of unease. “Yeap, that’s the plan.”

The figure tilted their head, eyes gleaming. “Power over minds, emotions... yourself. But it will cost you.”

There it was. The catch. There’s always a catch. “And what’s the price?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant, though my heart was doing its best impression of a drum solo.

“You must climb the tower and face three trials. Goal. Cost. Personal Benefit.” The figure’s voice was laced with something that felt both like a warning and a challenge. “Only when you confront the truth of these will you unlock the power you seek.”

Ah. So it was one of those journeys. The kind that required self-reflection and emotional vulnerability. Great. I was just here for the shiny artefact, but apparently, I’d signed up for a full-on therapy session. Still, my curiosity—it had a way of leading me into the weirdest situations. And this was no exception.

As I turned toward the tower, I could almost hear that old mentor of mine again: Don’t get stuck in the ways of the world. Let your mind change, and you’ll be transformed. He’d always been annoyingly cryptic. Romans, maybe? I couldn’t be sure. But the words gave me a strange sense of determination. This was the kind of thing I couldn’t just back out of.

The First Trial: The Cost

The inside of the tower was a nightmare. Or maybe it was the inside of my brain. Hard to tell the difference. The walls were lined with mirrors that didn’t just reflect my image—they reflected every insecurity I’d ever had. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, those insecurities started to move. My reflection grinned at me, but it wasn’t friendly. It was the grin of someone who knew exactly how to tear me down.

“You’re not ready for this,” it said, voice dripping with disdain. “You think you can just waltz in here and grow? Change? Master your emotions? Oh please. You’re terrified of change.”

My heart raced, and I felt the familiar grip of panic threatening to tighten around my chest. The amygdala, right? That part of the brain that hijacks your rational thoughts and sends you spiralling into freeze-fight-or-flight mode. Well, I was frozen neck-deep, the only thing keeping me from bolting instead was sheer stubbornness.

I clenched my fists, remembering another bit of wisdom—something my mentor had once told me when I was overwhelmed: Don’t be afraid. You’re not alone in this. Isaiah, maybe? The words calmed the storm inside me, just enough for me to push back against my reflection.

“Yeah, it’s scary,” I said, my voice shaking but firm. “But I can handle it. Vulnerability? Change? Whatever. Bring it on.”

The reflection sneered and faded, leaving me alone in the mirrored room. The first trial was over, but I had a feeling the hardest part was yet to come.

The Eye of the Storm

After that unsettling confrontation, I was expecting more chaos, but instead, I found... peace. Halfway up the tower, I stepped into a garden. A garden, of all things. The air was still, the flowers blooming wildly in a kaleidoscope of colour, their sweet scent washing over me like a balm. For the first time since stepping off the boat, I felt a sense of ease… of clarity.

I sat on a stone bench, letting the quiet seep into my bones, and reflected on what I’d learned so far. Influence wasn’t about controlling others—it was about aligning. Aligning my goals, my willingness to pay the cost, and the benefits I sought. It was about knowing exactly what I wanted, and understanding the price I was willing to pay to get it.

The Guide appeared again, though this time, they didn’t speak. Their presence was enough to remind me that I wasn’t done yet, but for now, I could enjoy this moment of calm. I thought of another verse, something about peace that transcends understanding. Philippians, maybe? It was a nice thought.

The Second Trial: The Goal

The garden didn’t last long. The next challenge was a maze, mocking me with maddening misdirections, each turn twiting tighter. The walls shifted, the ground tilted, and every path seemed designed to take me further from my objective. And then there were the distractions—illusions of shortcuts that promised quick rewards. The walls shifted like liqud glass, flickering between reality and dreams, each path more impossible than the last. I almost took one of them, tempted by the allure of an easy way out. But something in the back of my mind stopped me.

Focus on what really matters. That was the advice I needed. I remembered something my mentor had said once about keeping your eyes on the bigger picture—don’t get distracted by the next shiny object. Set your mind on higher things. Colossians? I think.

With that thought in mind, I pushed forward, ignoring the temptations and trusting my instincts. Eventually, I found the central chamber and felt a wave of satisfaction wash over me. One step closer.

The Third Trial: The Personal Benefit

The final trial was the hardest. It wasn’t a mirrored room or a maze, but a void—a blank space where I was alone with my thoughts. And my thoughts were brutal. They showed me two futures: one where I stayed exactly the same, and one where I embraced change, growth, and influence. The problem was, the future where I stayed the same felt... safe. Comfortable. The other future? It was full of uncertainty. Risks. Potential failure.

I doubted myself. Could I really handle this? Was I even worthy of the benefits that came with mastering influence and emotion? The weight of my past failures crushed me, and for a moment, I wanted to give up.

But then, a quiet voice inside reminded me of something I’d once heard: I can do anything through Him. Philippians, right? I wasn’t sure. But the message was clear. I had to believe.

With newfound resolve, I chose the path of growth, even though it scared me. And just like that, the trial was over.

The Triangle of Influence

At the top of the tower, I stood before the Triangle of Influence. It wasn’t what I expected. Not some magical artefact glowing with power, but a simple crystalline structure. Yet as I touched it, I felt something shift inside me. Clarity. Control. Not over others, but over myself. Synapses in my brain fired, strengthening connections, pruning the ones I didn’t need. I felt... powerful. But not in the way I’d anticipated. It was quieter, more internal. A sense of alignment. A sense of purpose.

As the Triangle began to glow, I felt a pull—a shift in reality. Before I knew it, I was being transported somewhere new, somewhere unknown. But this time, I wasn’t afraid anymore.

I was ready.

Or at least, so I thought…

Your Challenge: The Triangle of Personal Influence

This week, take the lessons from the Island of Eden and apply them to your own life by completing the following steps. Think of this as your own journey up the tower, facing the trials of Goal, Cost, and Personal Benefit.

* Set Your Goal (First Trial)

Identify one specific area of your life where you’d like to improve your emotional control or influence, whether it's in your relationships, work, or self-care. Write down a clear and actionable goal. Make sure it's something you truly want to achieve, not just something you think you should do.

Example: "I want to stay calm and focused during stressful meetings at work."

* Identify the Cost (Second Trial)

Reflect on what it will cost you to reach this goal. Will it require vulnerability, time, or stepping out of your comfort zone? Be honest with yourself about the sacrifices you’ll need to make, and write them down.

Example: "I’ll need to set aside time for daily mindful practice, meditation or prayer. I’ll also need to let go of my fear of judgment when sharing my ideas."

* Understand the Personal Benefit (Third Trial)

Take a moment to visualise the personal benefits you’ll gain from achieving this goal. How will it impact your emotional well-being, relationships, or sense of self? Write down the positive outcomes that will come from embracing this change.

Example: "I’ll feel more confident, reduce my anxiety, and be able to contribute meaningfully in meetings, which will open up new opportunities for growth."

* Take One Small, Tiny, Minuscule First Step

Now, take action. Pick one small, tiny, minuscule, manageable step you can take this week that aligns with your goal and reflects your commitment to paying the cost. Keep it simple, but make it intentional.

Example: "Before my next meeting, I’ll spend five minutes doing deep breathing exercises to centre myself."

* Reflect & Adjust

At the end of the week, reflect on your progress. Did you feel more in control? Did you notice any shifts in your emotions or mindset? If things didn’t go as planned, don’t worry—adjust and try again next week. Growth is a process.

Bonus Tip: Journal each day to track your thoughts and feelings. This will help reinforce your self-awareness and the changes you're making.

By the end of the week, you’ll have a better understanding of how aligning your goals, costs, and benefits can help you master your emotions and influence your life in positive ways. Just like the protagonist, you’ll be one step closer to internal mastery.

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Meet Barry

Barry first crossed my path outside a grimy pub, nestled in one of the most avoided parts of town. I was heading the new EU-funded “Access to IT” course at the local college, aimed at transforming the lives of unemployed youths often stuck in a cycle of despair. Barry, with his hardened exterior, was precisely the kind of individual we were trying to reach.

I handed Barry a course flyer that day, to which he responded by crumpling it into a ball and giving explicit instructions on where to shove it. Taking the hint, I backed off and moved on. But two weeks later, something unexpected happened.

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A Rough Start

It was a regular Tuesday morning when Barry, looking every bit as intimidating as before, strode into my classroom. My students fell silent, their eyes glued to their textbooks. Barry waved the crumpled flyer, now a relic of our first encounter, and demanded, “What’s all this about?”

In those pre-smartphone days, there was no one to record the tension or call for help. I invited Barry to a corner table, hoping one of my students might slip out and fetch security if needed. But they didn’t; they simply continued to study.

Barry dropped his guard and began sharing his story of an unpleasant childhood, being expelled from school at 15 for fighting, and wandering the streets with no direction. Job prospects were nil, his lack of qualifications and his reputation making him an undesirable candidate for any position. We talked for a while, and eventually, Barry filled out the application form.

The Brain's Inner Theatre

Understanding the brain's role in communication can shed light on why people like Barry feel isolated. The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is akin to a theatre stage, focusing our attention amidst a barrage of sensory input. Stories engage our brain, fostering connections and empathy through the release of oxytocin—the love hormone.

Know someone who would like this?

Barry's School Struggles

Barry faced enormous challenges. He flunked his first assignment, and I feared he might give up. But instead of anger, Barry showed frustration with himself. He confided in me, revealing his struggles and admitting that the only thing he knew how to do was look tough.

With patience, Barry slowly made progress. By the end of the year, his scores were passable, though not exceptional. Encouraged, Barry applied to UMIST, a renowned IT school. He dared to hope.

The Power of Storytelling

Communication often fails when it lacks heart. Data and facts without emotional connection quickly fade from memory. Barry's journey teaches us that effective communication must blend information with empathy and narrative. By understanding and relating to others, we transform mundane exchanges into memorable interactions.

An Unexpected Reunion

Years passed. My project at the college ended, and my career took me across Europe and Asia. Ten years later, while running a workshop back in the UK, Barry appeared at the back of the room. He looked different—bald, scarred, but changed.

During the break, Barry approached me. Over coffee, he shared how he had gotten into UMIST, graduated with honours, and started a business producing community videos. These films aimed at steering youngsters away from drugs and back into education. He was now a leader in his community, spearheading initiatives to improve the area.

A Heartfelt Thank You

With tears in his eyes, Barry thanked me. "You were the first person to believe in me," he said. "You gave me a chance, and that inspired me to help others."

Barry’s transformation wasn’t just about turning his life around; it was about igniting a chain reaction that could uplift an entire community.

In the end, it’s all about HUGS: Touch my Heart. Understand me. Give me something new. Tell me a Story.

Reflection Questions

* Empathy in Leadership: How can you incorporate empathy into your daily interactions with your team or colleagues?

* Effective Communication: Reflect on a recent conversation where you shared important information. Did you balance facts with emotional connection?

* Transformational Impact: Are there individuals in your professional life who might benefit from your belief and support? How can you be their advocate?

* Personal Growth: Think about a challenge you've faced in your career. What story can you tell that might inspire and guide others facing similar challenges?

Conclusion

Barry’s journey reminds us that the most significant transformations often begin with a single act of belief and empathy. As leaders, it's our responsibility to understand, support, and elevate those we lead, creating ripples of positive change that extend far beyond our immediate reach.

What’s Better Today?

It’s a simple question, but one that challenges your thinking, uncovers patterns, and reveals hidden beliefs. And that’s exactly what I do—I help leaders debug their thinking, break free from limiting beliefs, and master their leadership code through neuroscience, storytelling, and the truth of Jesus Christ.

Hi, I’m John Michael and for over 30 years, I’ve coached leaders, designed transformative learning experiences, and uncovered what truly moves people from stuck to unstoppable. Real transformation isn’t about working harder—it’s about thinking better, seeing truth, and choosing differently. That’s what I teach.

What I Do & Why It Matters to You

I believe leadership isn’t just about skills—it’s about clarity, self-mastery, and purpose. True leaders don’t just manage tasks; they influence, inspire, and make a difference. But too often, we’re held captive by old thinking patterns—mental “bugs” we unknowingly picked up over time.

Through faith-based coaching, neuroscience-backed insights, and engaging storytelling, I help leaders:

✔️ Identify and debug the hidden “bugs” in their leadership thinking

✔️ Replace limiting beliefs with truth and intentional habits

✔️ Develop self-mastery to lead with confidence and clarity

✔️ Step into their God-given purpose and make a lasting impact

Everything I teach is built on this foundation: You were made by God to make a difference that gives glory to Him (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Explore the Difference Makers Leadership Code

I’ve developed several key sections to equip you on your journey:

* From Geek to Great – Move from expert to influencer by reprogramming your leadership mindset.

* MAD Coaching – Build daily habits for transformational leadership.

* The Difference Makers Series – A faith-meets-neuroscience storytelling experience.

* Difference Makers Short Stories – Parables with powerful leadership lessons.

* Sparks – Short, thought-provoking insights to ignite breakthroughs.

If you’re ready to stop operating on default, rewrite your leadership code, and step into the influence you were designed for, then let’s start.

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