Direct Your Life

What if the secret to becoming a confident leader isn't waiting until you feel ready—but learning to recognize your potential, embrace your uniqueness, and take action before fear talks you out of it?

Kay Fittes is the founder and CEO of High Heel Success, a national speaker, executive coach, and author who has spoken to more than 100,000 women throughout her career.

In this episode of Direct Your Life, Kay shares her transformation from an introverted young girl who felt "invisible and pitiful" to leading organizations and commanding corporate stages.

We explore why leadership sometimes begins by accident, how to set firm boundaries without burning bridges, and why practicing difficult conversations can transform your confidence.

And yes, gentlemen, this conversation is for you too!

We discuss:

▪️ From Invisible to Influential — How a young girl who struggled to find her voice became a nationally recognized speaker, and how one mentor changed the direction of her life.

▪️ Accidental Leadership — The hilarious story of how accidentally calling a hospital emergency drill an hour early opened the door to greater leadership opportunities.

▪️ Nudging vs. Shoving — Why raising expectations can elevate people's performance, and how small steps and thoughtful questions encourage others to recognize their potential.

▪️ The Art of Saying No Gracefully — How to establish boundaries, protect your energy, and prevent resentment without damaging relationships.

▪️ The 5-Question Reputation Survey — A practical exercise for uncovering blind spots and discovering strengths others recognize in you.

▪️ The 3-Bucket System for Feedback — How to process criticism without becoming defensive, identify opportunities for growth, and recognize feedback that doesn't deserve your attention.

▪️ Mock Runs vs. Role-Playing — Why rehearsing important conversations, salary negotiations, and leadership decisions builds confidence before the stakes are high.

▪️ The Power of Being Different — How Kay uses her 4'11" height, Southern accent, and sense of humor to navigate uncomfortable situations and command respect.

This conversation is part leadership blueprint, part communication masterclass, and a powerful reminder that confidence isn't something you wait for. It's something you build through action.

As Kay reminds us, if you don't communicate your message effectively, it may never reach the people who need to hear it.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 — Show Bumper & Introduction 00:01:50 — Meet Kay Fittes: Founder & CEO of High Heel Success 00:02:27 — Why This Conversation Matters for Both Men and Women 00:03:45 — Rapid Fire Fun Questions: Heels, Coffee & Hard Ball for Women 00:05:30 — From Invisible and Pitiful to the National Stage 00:07:15 — The Mentor Who Changed Everything: Dr. Robert Kronik 00:11:30 — Accidental Leadership: The Hospital Emergency Drill 00:15:20 — Raising Expectations: Nudging vs. Shoving 00:19:10 — Stop Living by Other People's Expectations 00:21:45 — Leadership, Teamwork & Protecting Your Time 00:25:00 — How to Say No Gracefully Without Burning Bridges 00:29:15 — Why Poor Communication Can Cost You Everything 00:32:40 — The 5-Question Reputation Survey 00:35:10 — The 3-Bucket System for Processing Feedback 00:40:30 — Mock Runs: Practice Confidence Before You Need It 00:43:45 — Using Humor & Uniqueness: The 4'11" Smurf Story 00:48:30 — Kay's Life Movie Trilogy: Little Girl Alone to I Did It! 00:50:00 — What Does It Mean to Direct Your Life? Reinvention & Intentional Living

THE DIRECTOR'S TOOLKIT

Explore Kay Fittes & High Heel Success

Discover Kay's coaching, speaking, leadership development, and books.

Website: High Heel Success

Books Mentioned

Hardball for Women — Pat Heim and Susan K. Golant

https://amzn.to/4zG62Kt

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DIRECT YOUR LIFE:

▪️ Download my free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet — tonysuriano.com/directyourday ▪️ Get your copy of Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will book here — directyourlifebook.com ▪️ Direct Your Life Weekly: Mindset tools, real stories, and weekly fuel to direct your life: tonysuriano.com/newsletter

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for being here, Tony

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

What if the secret to building an 8-figure business isn't grinding harder—but building systems that make you less necessary?

Austin Netzley is an entrepreneur, author, and the founder and CEO of 2X and Operations.com, where he's worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs to build better systems, scale their businesses, and reclaim their time. He's also the author of The 2-Week Vacation Test and From 6 to 7 Figures.

We discuss why a successful business shouldn't only produce revenue and profit—it should produce time freedom. Austin breaks down how to build systems that operate without you, use AI and automation intelligently, manage your energy instead of obsessing over your time, and create systems for your life—not only your business.

We discuss:

▪️ The Three Pillars of a Healthy Business — Why revenue growth, profitability, and time freedom all matter—and what happens when your business still depends on you.

▪️ The 2-Week Vacation Test — Why stepping away from your business exposes weak systems and builds the muscle required for real freedom.

▪️ Physical Triggers & The Wrap-Up Routine — How a 5-minute end-of-day reflection and simple physical cues can close mental loops and keep work from following you home.

▪️ AI-Powered Operations — How entrepreneurs can use AI and automation to streamline fulfillment and growth without removing the human element.

▪️ Designing a Level 10 Life — How Austin maps the areas that matter most—wealth, health, relationships, family—and builds systems around them.

▪️ The 12-Year Family Commitment — How Austin created a recurring travel system to stay deeply connected with family across the country.

▪️ Energy Management vs. Time Management — Why so much of our energy gets spent on things that don't matter—and how auditing your week can expose what needs to be eliminated, delegated, or systemized.

▪️ The Morning Clap Trigger — Austin's 30-second Jerry Maguire-inspired ritual for intentionally stepping into a positive, high-energy state.

This conversation is part operations masterclass, part lifestyle blueprint, and a reminder that the point of better systems isn't doing more work—it's creating more freedom for what actually matters.

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Get 15% off: dangercoffee.com/directyourlife Or use code TONY

#dangerpartner — I earn a commission (and you get a discount) when you use my link or code.

📘 The 2-Week Vacation Test by Austin Netzley https://amzn.to/4Aztg6b

🌐 Operations.com

🌐 2X.co

📱 Connect with Austin instagram.com/netzley

(00:00:00) Intro (00:00:38) Show Bumper (00:01:00) Meet Austin Netzley — Freedom over hustle and building leverage (00:02:40) Why Systems Matter — The 3 pillars of a healthy business (00:06:50) Mentally Detaching — The 2-Week Vacation Test and physical triggers (00:10:30) The Wrap-Up Routine — Closing open loops before going home (00:12:15) Rapid Fire Fun Questions — Ocean's 11, The ONE Thing, and egg timers (00:14:40) AI-Powered Operations — Transforming small-business workflows (00:18:30) AI in Marketing & Fulfillment — Customizing experiences in real time (00:23:00) Defining Success — Mapping out a Level 10 Life (00:25:15) Strategic Family Systems — 12 years of monthly travel and uncle trips (00:29:00) The Energy Audit Challenge — What are you repeatedly doing that you can systemize? (00:32:00) Energy Management vs. Time Management — Cutting the energy-draining 80% (00:34:00) The Morning Clap Trigger — Jerry Maguire, positivity, and garage workouts (00:40:00) Legacy & Eulogy — Becoming the "dopest family man of all time" (00:47:30) What Does It Mean to Direct Your Life? — Austin's definition

Direct Your Life:

▪️ Download the free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet — tonysuriano.com/directyourday ▪️ Get your copy of Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will book here — directyourlifebook.com ▪️ Direct Your Life Weekly: Mindset tools, real stories, and weekly fuel to direct your life: tonysuriano.com/newsletter

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for being here, Tony

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

What if the secret to conquering creative burnout isn't resting more—but doing the hard things that scare you?

Jake Staley is a hit television and film composer who has created music for major projects like The Five-Star Weekend on Peacock, ABC's number-one network show High Potential, and the highly anticipated upcoming season of The Last of Us on HBO.

We discuss why waiting for inspiration is a trap and how true creative freedom is built through aggressive self-discipline. We also break down the concept of the "Buffer Period" and "Doorway Triggers" to help you shut off the noise of your work so you can stay fully present with the people who matter most.

We discuss:

▪️ Projecting the Placebo — How acting with confidence before you actually have it builds the momentum that makes success a self-fulfilling prophecy.

▪️ The "Hard Two Weeks" Rule — Why slow, incremental habits often fail and why aggressively stacking multiple hard challenges rewires your brain faster.

▪️ Controlling the Controllable — How taking ruthless ownership of your physical health, diet, and movement builds mental armor against professional rejection.

▪️ The 50% Battle — Why doing the exact things you absolutely hate (like hitting freezing water or lacing up for a run) is the ultimate victory over your mind.

▪️ The 4:45 AM Routine — How Jake structures his mornings so he can be completely present for his family by 3:00 PM.

▪️ The Buffer Period — A tactical 5-minute decompression transition to prepare your brain for "not working" before you walk through your front door.

▪️ Decisive Vision — Why "indecision is the only wrong decision" and what working with top Hollywood showrunners teaches you about leadership.

▪️ Self-Awareness vs. Woo-Woo — Why "thinking about what you are thinking about" is the ultimate adult superpower.

This conversation is part creative masterclass, part mental conditioning system, and part reminder that when you take control of what you can—you rewrite the script of your life.

TIMESTAMPS

(00:00:00) Intro (00:00:38) Show Bumper (00:01:00) Meet Jake Staley (00:02:40) Creative Burnout & Staying Enthusiastic (00:06:50) Projecting Confidence — Turning false confidence into a self-fulfilling prophecy (00:11:15) Desktop Drumming — How failing to sit still in school paved the way for a 19-year music career (00:18:30) Controlling the Controllable — Shifting habits aggressively to break a cycle of defeats (00:24:10) Stacking the Hard Stuff — Why Jake advocates for a brutal "two-week rewire" over tiny habit changes (00:32:45) Defeating the 50% — The mental victory of doing the physical things you absolutely hate (00:41:15) The 4:45 AM Routine — Organizing your workday so you're fully available for your kids by 3:00 PM (00:47:20) The Work-Life Transition — Using buffer periods and Brendon Burchard's doorway triggers (00:53:10) Thinking About Your Thoughts — Why self-awareness is the differentiator of a true grown-up (00:57:45) Lessons from Hollywood Showrunners — Why indecision is the ultimate wrong decision (01:01:20) What does it mean to direct your life? Jake's definition

Direct Your Life:

▪️ Download the free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet — tonysuriano.com/directyourday ▪️ Get your copy of Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will book here — directyourlifebook.com ▪️ Direct Your Life Weekly: Mindset tools, real stories, and weekly fuel to direct your life: tonysuriano.com/newsletter

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for being here, Tony

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

What if the best leaders aren't at the top of the pyramid—but underneath it? Steve Balczo is the Executive Director of Veteran Services and a retired Marine Sergeant Major whose leadership perspective was forged over a 29-year career in the Marine Corps.

We discuss why true growth isn't about waiting for a promotion—it's about demonstrating the skills of the next level before the "rank" ever changes. We also break down the military concept of resection: finding your true coordinates on the map so you can stop drifting and start directing your life with military precision.

▪ Leadership vs. management — why great leaders eventually work themselves out of a job.

▪ The Ladder of Hope — why growth requires finding a new ladder to climb, regardless of your age or success.

▪ The Life Resection — a Marine navigation technique Steve uses to figure out where you actually are when you feel lost in the current scene.

▪ The Director's Window — how Steve's 4:15 AM ritual creates stability before the rest of the world starts making demands.

▪ Turning setbacks into coordinates — how two major layoffs eventually led Steve to his next opportunities instead of becoming the end of the story.

▪ The upside-down leadership pyramid — why leadership becomes less about being seen and more about removing barriers for the people around you.

▪ The Bulletized Reset — a ridiculously simple technique for protecting your flow and getting back into deep work after interruptions.

▪ Editing your life without deleting the bad scenes — why mistakes, potholes, and setbacks may contain some of your most valuable material.

This conversation is part leadership lesson, part life-navigation system, and part reminder that no matter where you are on the map—you can find your coordinates and call the next shot.

(00:00:00) Intro (00:01:25) Meeting Steve — The power of presence, humor, and a clean slate (00:04:05) Rapid Fire Fun Questions — Breaking the ice and getting behind the "Sergeant Major" exterior (00:06:15) Leadership vs. Management — Why true leadership means working yourself out of a job (00:11:00) The Ladder of Hope — Why humans crave growth and age is never a limiter (00:20:45) The Resection Technique — A Marine method for finding exactly where you are on the life map (00:28:10) The Director's Window — Steve's 4:15 AM ritual for building hope and stability before the world breaks in (00:36:00) The Oracle Shift — Turning two major layoffs into opportunities by staying present and open (00:46:20) The Upside-Down Pyramid — Shifting from "look at me" leadership to removing barriers for your team (00:59:15) Editing Your Script — Why the potholes and mistakes in your past are teaching moments worth keeping (01:11:30) Protecting the Flow — Using white noise and a "bulletized format" to resume deep work after interruptions

Direct Your Life:

▪️ Download the free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet — tonysuriano.com/directyourday ▪️ Get your copy of Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will book here — directyourlifebook.com ▪️ Direct Your Life Weekly: Mindset tools, real stories, and weekly fuel to direct your life: tonysuriano.com/newsletter

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for being here, Tony

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

What if the secret to scaling your life isn't doing more, but doing much less? Chandler Bolt is a 7x bestselling author, the founder of SelfPublishing.com, and a mission-driven entrepreneur who has helped over 8,000 authors—myself included—bring their books to life.

In this episode, we discuss why "going wide" is the ultimate drifter trap and how true success requires the discipline of depth. We break down the "half-built bridge" metaphor: why starting a dozen projects ensures you never reach the other side of your goals. We also dive into the tactical mindset shifts needed to clear the bottlenecks in your business and your relationships.

We discuss:

▪ Depth vs. Width — why building "half-built bridges" is the primary reason most people feel frustrated and stuck.

▪ The Bottleneck Question — the one obsessive question you must ask daily to identify what is actually stopping your growth.

▪ The 80/20 Principle and "Stop Doing" lists — how to raise the level of your "no" so you can finally raise the power of your "yes."

▪ Relational Deposits — why calling your peers to a higher standard is a selfless act of love, not a conflict to be avoided.

▪ Success as Stewardship — redefining success as maximizing your God-given gifts rather than following a one-size-fits-all lens.

▪ Be a Lighthouse, Not a Flashlight — a tactical strategy for dealing with skeptics by showing them what's possible instead of trying to force them to change.

▪ Controlling the "Ocean" — why wasting energy on politics or the economy is like being mad at the waves for crashing.

▪ Scaling with Immersion — how to "nerd out" on your weaknesses until they become your greatest strengths.

This conversation is a masterclass in focus, a reminder that your thinking is often the biggest bottleneck you face, and a call to stop letting society direct your script.

(00:00:00) Intro (00:04:05) Rapid Fire Fun Questions — Getting to know the "ADHD college dropout" behind the success (00:07:15) The Business Author Mastermind — Why you should never water down your mission or your product (00:09:30) Depth vs. Width — Why "half-built bridges" are keeping you from your destination (00:12:45) The Bottleneck Question — The single most important question to ask if you want to scale (00:17:10) 80/20 and the "Stop Doing" List — Auditing your calendar and bank account to reclaim your energy (00:20:15) Relational Deposits — How to move from being a "peacemaker" to a "challenger" with love (00:26:10) Maximizing God-Given Gifts — Why success means "blooming where you are planted" (00:30:45) Lighthouse vs. Flashlight — How to stay focused on your vision while the haters watch from the shore (00:35:15) Controlling the Controllable — Why you need to stop being mad at the "ocean" of external circumstances (00:37:50) The Director's Chair — The butterfly effect of our "bad" scenes and why in-person beats remote (00:42:00) Directing Your Life — Why the road less traveled is the only way to be authentically you

The Map: Need help with your book? Check out Chandler's program: https://selfpublishing.com/directyourlife

Direct Your Life:

▪️ Download the free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet — tonysuriano.com/directyourday ▪️ Get your copy of Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will book here — directyourlifebook.com ▪️ Direct Your Life Weekly: Mindset tools, real stories, and weekly fuel to direct your life: tonysuriano.com/newsletter

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for being here, Tony

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

What happens when life completely wrecks your routine?

After 12 days of newborn sleep deprivation, I found myself running on micro-naps, snapping more easily, and realizing something important:

Your character isn't revealed when life is easy. It's revealed when your nervous system is fried.

When you're exhausted, overwhelmed, and stretched thin, it's easy to drift into autopilot—to stop caring, stop creating, and start merely surviving.

But those are the moments when you need to step back into the Director's chair.

In this episode, I share the practical mindset shifts and daily tools that have kept me grounded while navigating new fatherhood, caring for my wife after a C-section, and trying to remain the person I actually want to be.

If you've been feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or like life has knocked you off course, this episode is for you.

Free resource: Download my free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet: tonysuriano.com/directyourday

• Why caring is a conditioned skill—not simply an emotion.
• The surprising lesson a retired bridge builder taught me about the two types of people.
• What becoming a new father revealed about patience, identity, and leadership.
• How to shrink a two-hour morning routine into five minutes without losing momentum.
• The science behind the D.O.S.E. chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins) and how to naturally trigger them.
• Why sleep deprivation doesn't have to steal your direction.
• How to stop drifting and reset your day—even when life feels chaotic.

• The Direct Your Day System — My one-page framework for creating intention before life creates it for you.
• Micro-Rituals — Why consistency beats perfection during stressful seasons.
• The Patience Trigger — The simple phrase I repeat every time my baby cries to become the father I want to be.
• My Sleep Deprivation Stack — The supplements and habits I've been using to stay mentally sharp despite interrupted sleep.

• Get my book: Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will: directyourlifebook.com
• Download my free One-Page Direct Your Day Sheet: tonysuriano.com/directyourday
• Direct Your Life Newsletter for exclusive mindset tools, real stories, and the weekly fuel to Direct Your Life. tonysuriano.com/newsletter

Thank you for being here,

Tony

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for tuning in!

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: tonysuriano.com/speaker

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

🎵 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@tonysuriano

In this episode, I sit down with leadership expert and author John Lentini to talk about why character—not talent—is becoming the rarest resource in modern leadership.

And if your character drifts… your results eventually will too.

John breaks down his "Engineering Character" framework and the six core dials that shape how we lead ourselves, lead others, and navigate pressure without losing who we are.

• The six "character dials" every leader should monitor
• Why discipline without empathy eventually breaks trust
• How resilience and mindset work together under pressure
• The power of honest feedback and the 360 process
• Why creativity still matters in the age of AI

The Character Dashboard Visualize your life as a six-dial control panel. Which dial needs recalibration right now?

Diverse Empathy Different people require different communication approaches. Stop leading everyone the same way.

Ground Rules for Hard Conversations Before difficult conversations, create mutual agreement around honesty, openness, and intention.

Learn more about John Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnjlentini/ Website: https://www.johnjlentini.com/ Book: https://www.johnjlentini.com/pre-order-book

• Download the One-Page Director's Sheet: https://tonysuriano.com/directyourday
• Get my book: Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will: https://directyourlifebook.com

Thank you for being here,

Tony

⭐️ Follow the show so you never miss an episode, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for tuning in!

If you're ready to stop drifting and start directing your life—join the Direct Your Life Newsletter for exclusive mindset tools, real stories, and the weekly fuel to Direct Your Life. https://tonysuriano.com/newsletter

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: https://www.tonysuriano.com/speaker

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL

I sat down with Jacob Salem for a conversation about something most people quietly do…They shrink. They dim their light to fit rooms, expectations, or fear.

Jacob and I get into what it actually looks like to own your energy, stop playing small, and direct your life with intention.

We talk about:

• Why dimming your light costs more than failing

• Using every ounce of energy and resource you have

• Making decisions that move your life forward—fast

• What it really means to step into the version of you that's waiting

Because this's about expanding into everything you're capable of.

If you've been holding back—even a little—this episode is your cue.

🎧 Tap in and start directing.

👉 Business: https://ezmetrics.com/

👉 Book: Speaker Millionaire Secrets

If you're serious about getting booked and building a speaking career, check out Jacob's Speaker Bureau:

👉 https://tonysuriano.com/becomeaspeaker

Get my book: Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will

👉 https://directyourlifebook.com/

Thank you for being here,

Tony

——

⭐️ Follow the show, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for tuning in!

If you're ready to stop drifting and start directing your life—join the Direct Your Life Newsletter for exclusive mindset tools, real stories, and the weekly fuel to Direct Your Life. https://tonysuriano.com/newsletter

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: https://www.tonysuriano.com/speaker

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonysuriano

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A NEW SEASON OF DiRECT YOUR LiFE IS HERE I'm starting to bring prolific guests on the show!

And there was no better place to begin than with my friend, Bob Burg: Hall of Fame keynote speaker, co-author of The Go-Giver book series (1M+ copies sold), and one of the leading voices on influence, communication, and value-based leadership.

His perspective has impacted entrepreneurs, sales professionals, speakers, and business leaders around the world through his books, talks, and Daily Impact newsletter.

In this episode, Bob and I break down why that shift isn't just nice… it's strategic—and it changes everything in your business and your life.

Most people think influence is about pushing, convincing, or getting. It's not. It's about shifting your focus—off yourself and onto what actually creates value for others.

Enjoy, lean in, and take notes.

• You're grinding for results but feel like you're running on empty

• You're a giver, but need to find balance

• You want to lead—but keep getting pulled into self-focus

• You struggle to say "no" without guilt or over-explaining

• You catch yourself wasting time instead of executing

• You're waiting to feel ready before taking action

The Influence Myth

Why people only act for their reasons—not yours—and how to align with that instead of fighting it.

Leadership vs. Human Nature

How shifting from "me-focused" to "other-focused" creates real leverage.

Action Precedes Feeling

Why waiting to feel motivated is a trap—and how to move first.

The Art of the Respectful "No"

A simple, powerful way to protect your time without damaging relationships.

Directing Your Awareness

Why awareness—not effort—is the real unlock when you feel stuck.

The Efficiency Filter

"Is what I'm about to do the highest and best use of my time?"

The Respectful Refusal

"Thank you for asking. While it's not something I choose to take on, please know how honored I am that you would think to ask me."

Physiology Shift

Don't wait to feel ready. Move your body first—your mind will follow.

This is what most people miss: Giving isn't passive. It's power.

And when you learn how to use it, you stop chasing outcomes… and start attracting them.

🎧 Hit play.

👉 Daily Impact Newsletter: burg.com https://burg.com

If you want to go deeper into the ideas we talk about:

👉 The Go-Giver by Bob Burg & John David Mann https://amzn.to/3PLrBYo

👉 The Go-Giver Inflencer by Bob Burg & John David Mann https://amzn.to/3QhRRtt

👉 How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie https://amzn.to/4mdotAO

👉 The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David Schwartz https://amzn.to/4sKzuvD

👉 The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer—one of my favorites! https://amzn.to/4sSvE3M

👉 Living Untethered by Michael A. Singer—one of Bob's favorites! https://amzn.to/4tp6MjQ

Thank you for being here,

Tony

——

⭐️ Follow the show, leave a review/rating, and share this with someone who needs it.

Thank you for tuning in!

If you're ready to stop drifting and start directing your life—join the Direct Your Life Newsletter for exclusive mindset tools, real stories, and the weekly fuel to Direct Your Life. https://tonysuriano.com/newsletter

Tony Suriano

🌐 Book Tony for speaking or podcast interviews: https://www.tonysuriano.com/speaker

Follow me around internet town @tonysuriano

📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonySuriano

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonysuriano

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonySurianoDYL/

📕 If you're ready to stop drifting and start directing your life, this is your book: Direct Your Life Or Someone Else Will 🎧 (Audiobook listeners—you're covered too.)

When things fall apart… this is where most people drift.

In this episode, I break down the final 5 beats of the 15-beat system—and how to navigate the hardest stretch of your life without giving up or losing direction.

This is the collapse → comeback phase.

Show Notes:

In this episode, I break down the last 5 beats of the 15-beat system—and how to navigate the hardest stretch of your life without drifting or giving up.

• Understand why things falling apart might be part of the process

• Handle the mental spiral (the 2 a.m. thoughts) without losing yourself

• Shift from reaction to direction in high-stress moments

• Take action when you don't feel ready

• Actually finish what you started

Beat 11: All Is Lost

When the job, relationship, or identity disappears—and why this moment matters more than you think.

Beat 12: Dark Night of the Soul

The internal battle. The doubt. The questions.

Plus the It's a Wonderful Life reframe that shifts everything.

The Role Model Hat

A simple tool:

How would you respond if someone younger was watching you right now?

Beat 13: Break into Three

The shift from stuck → open → ready to move.

Beat 14: Finale (Slaying the Dragon)

Where you stop thinking and start proving who you are.

Beat 15: Final Image

You don't just reach a new outcome—you become someone new.

The "Alternative" Sentence

"I will persist in what matters to me because the alternative is ______."

Conditioning Your Nervous System

Why journaling both the good and bad prepares you for pressure.

Annual Directing

How to treat your year like a 15-beat movie so you stay grounded through chaos.

You don't need a new life. You need a new cut.

🎧 Hit play.

——

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Tony Suriano

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