Dirty Brown

Dirty Brown

By Kriti JSociety & Culture
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Dirty Brown episodes

  • How Jyulz Rebuilt Her Life After Divorce and Loved Again

    Jyulz got married in India, got divorced in India, and then found the courage to fall in love and marry again - this time in Canada. In this episode, she opens up about the moment she realized she'd been compromising herself away, and why choosing to leave her first marriage became the hardest and most important decision of her life.

    Host Kriti J talks to Jyulz about the early signs for the relationship not working, the weight of family and cultural expectations, and the slow, quiet process of rebuilding trust in her own judgment. Jyulz describes what it actually felt like to sit her parents down and tell them she was getting a divorce, what daily life looked like as a divorced woman in India, and the fear of being alone that came with starting over.

    Jyulz shares her story with honesty and humor, offering a real look at what it takes to walk away from a marriage that looks right on paper, heal on your own terms, and find love again when you least expect it.

    If you've ever stayed somewhere too long, questioned your own instincts, or wondered whether life after heartbreak can still hold love - this conversation is for you.

    Connect with Dirty Brown: Instagram, YouTube

    Connect with Jyulz: Instagram

    Chapters:

    • 00:00 Introduction to Jyulz' Story
    • 00:53 What Marriage Meant to Jyulz Before Her First Marriage
    • 02:42 Recognizing the Signs That Things Were Not Working
    • 04:17 The Difference Between Self-Abandonment and Compromise
    • 06:52 The Scariest Part of Leaving a Marriage
    • 07:36 Family Reactions and Acceptance of Divorce
    • 10:53 Living as a Divorced Woman in India and The Move Abroad
    • 14:20 Loss of Pets and Emotional Support
    • 15:19 Finding Love Again and Unlearning Fear
    • 17:37 Reflections on Healing and Moving Forward
    • 20:39 Badchalan Energy Quiz
    • 23:25 Final Reflections
    • 24:37: Behind The Scenes


    26 min
  • From Scared Indian Girl to A National Boxer ft. Mallika Bhatia

    She hid her boxing career from her Indian parents for years - until a family group chat gave her away. In this episode of Dirty Brown, host Kriti J sits down with Mallika, a South Asian boxer, to talk about competing in secret, losing the biggest fight of her career at nationals, and why that loss taught her more about self-belief than any win ever did.
    In this episode, you'll discover:

    • How boxing became Mallika's outlet for emotional release and overcoming fear
    • Why she competed in secret and how her parents actually found out and what happened next
    • The mental game behind her toughest fight: losing at nationals, and what it taught her about self-belief
    • The role of discipline, emotional regulation, and authenticity in pursuing a passion your family doesn't fully understand
    • Her vision for Rani Rose Club, the all-female boxing community she's building after leaving a stable corporate career


    Connect with Dirty Brown:

    • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_dirtybrown_/YouTube:
    • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCFxyY8xM2hz0zg_r3qoukA

    About Mallika Bhatia: Malika is an amateur boxer, founder of Rani Rose Club, dedicated to empowering women through martial arts, and an advocate for building character and confidence through sport. She combines her passion for boxing with her expertise in people development and leadership, creating a community where women rise together.Connect with Mallika:

    • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raniroseclub/
    32 min
  • Season 2 is here!!

    Dirty Brown is back for Season 2. Real, unfiltered testimony from South Asian women who made the choice their family didn't approve of - and are still standing.New episodes premiere Sep 16. Subscribe so you don't miss them.In this season:🥊 A boxer who found her voice by refusing to be afraid💍 A woman who divorced in her 20s and found love again on her own terms🌍 Leaving India, choosing Sweden, and unlearning the "perfect" script🌹 Building an all-female boxing club from scratch👨‍👩‍👧 A father who never quite accepted his daughter's choice⚭ A woman changing the narrative of marriage and partnership


    Episodes will drop biweekly Wednesdays! Let's gooo!

    2 min
  • I Quit My Big Tech Job and Why I Don't Feel Free

    I quit my big tech job at 37 with no backup plan - just savings, a podcast, and a feeling that something in me was dying. I thought I'd feel free. Instead, I felt lost. This is the episode nobody talks about: what actually happens after you make the brave choice.

    One month in. No KPIs. No performance reviews. No one telling me where I stand. What I didn't expect was that the hardest part wouldn't be the financial fear or the beginner mistakes at 37 - it would be the voice in my head asking: do I even deserve to want this?

    That voice has a name. It's the Good Girl script. And it doesn't go quiet just because you took the leap.

    If you're a brown woman who has blown up a life that looked good on paper - or is standing at the edge of it - this one is for you. Not the highlight reel of the brave choice. The actual cost of it.

    Chapters:

    • 00:00 Why Quitting Didn't Feel Like Freedom
    • 03:54 What My Colleagues' Reactions Actually Revealed
    • 05:20 The Hidden Cost of Losing Your Corporate Identity
    • 06:18 The Good Girl Script Nobody Warned Me About
    • 08:38 The Three Unexpected Gifts of Quitting
    • 11:43 Unlearning the Script, One Episode at a Time
    • 12:09 If You're Standing at the Edge of Your Own Leap
    • 12:55 Celebrating progress and announcement

    Connect with Dirty Brown:

    • Instagram
    • YouTube
    15 min
  • The Art Of Performing - Why I Chose To Be 'Unpalatable' To My Family ft. Reet German

    At age seven, Reet German was brought from India to Canada by a father she had never met, leaving her mother behind. In this episode of Dirty Brown, Reet joins host Kriti J to discuss how that moment of "shock" birthed a lifelong performance of being the "Good Girl" - and the radical, "besharam" choices she made to burn that script down.

    From checking herself into a hospital alone at her lowest point, to selling everything and world-schooling her daughter across 20 countries, Reet's story is what it actually looks like to stop performing and start living on your own terms.


    Connect with Dirty Brown:

    • Instagram
    • YouTube

    Connect with Reet German

    Chapters

    • 00:00 Introduction: "I Was In Shock": Uprooted From India at 7
    • 01:04 Meet Reet German: The Woman Behind Reignite with Reet
    • 01:24 Growing Up in Punjab: A Childhood Full of Love and Roots
    • 04:20 The Day Everything Changed: Brought to Canada by a Stranger
    • 07:38 "Someone Pulled the Rug Out": The Trauma of Displacement
    • 09:09 Learning the Art of Performing: The Good Girl is Born
    • 14:00 The Checklist Life: Marriage, House, Baby - and Emptiness
    • 21:00 Hitting Rock Bottom: Checking Herself Into Hospital Alone
    • 23:20 People Pleasing to Free: Selling Everything and Starting Over
    • 27:28 Going Back to India After 31 Years
    • 28:38 Trusting Her Gut: Finding Her Mother in a Punjab Village
    • 34:06 "It Didn't Happen TO Me. It Happened FOR Me."
    • 36:21 Closing: She Came With the Real Story
    38 min
  • She Raised Herself, Had A Kid Outside Marriage, & Has Zero Regrets ft. Manisha Solomon

    What does it actually cost a brown woman to choose herself - for decades?

    Manisha Solomon is an Indian woman in her 50s, unapologetic, and refuses to be invisible. In a culture that expects brown women to fade into the background after 50, Manisha has spent her entire life doing the opposite - and paying the price for it.

    In this episode of Dirty Brown, Manisha opens up about growing up with an emotionally absent mother, being forced to become independent at age 8, and writing a declaration at 12 that she would never get married. From cycling alone to Muay Thai to acting in her late 40s, she has never once asked for permission.

    We also get into:

    • What it's like to be estranged from your mother as a brown woman
    • How she raised her son as the complete opposite of how she was raised
    • Why she has never once felt invisible - even in her 50s
    • Keeping her last name, having a child outside of marriage, and not caring what the community thinks
    • The Badchalan Energy Quiz - how her answers changed from her 20s to her 50s

    Chapters:

    • 00:00 Introduction: "Maybe I Just Am"
    • 00:25 Meet Manisha Solomon: The Brown Woman Who Refuses to Fade
    • 02:22 Forced to Grow Up at Eight: The Cost of a Broken Home
    • 05:04 Estranged From Her Mother: Why She Never Looked Back
    • 07:02 Grieving a Mother Who's Still Alive: The Kit Kat Theory
    • 10:32 Acting in Her Late 40s: A Brown Woman Choosing Visibility
    • 14:25 How She Dresses, How She Defies: Style as Rebellion at 52
    • 16:42 She Wrote a Declaration at 12: No Marriage, One Child
    • 17:58 Having a Kid Outside Marriage & Keeping Her Last Name
    • 20:46 The 12-Year-Old Who Wrote the Rest of Her Life
    • 22:04 Raising a Professional Archer Instead of a Doctor or Engineer
    • 24:00 The Badchalan Energy Quiz: Age 20 vs Age 52
    • 28:04 What She'd Tell Her Teenage Self About the Woman She Became
    • 30:55 Kriti's Closing Reflection: What Unlearning Actually Costs
    33 min
  • Meet the woman behind Dirty Brown | Celebrating 10+ episodes

    She's spent 11 episodes asking the questions. This time, she's answering them.

    In this special milestone episode, your host Kriti J switches seats and Shruti Sridhar takes the mic. What follows is one of the most honest conversations on the podcast yet: why Dirty Brown started from a place of anger and why Kriti is glad she waited, what it really means to be a brown woman living between two worlds, and the cultural script she's been quietly rewriting for the last decade.

    Plus: the Badchalan Quiz makes a return — and this time, the host is in the hot seat.

    In this episode:

    • The real story behind the name Dirty Brown
    • Why COVID cracked everything open
    • What's coming next for the podcast - including the naughty stuff
    • Kriti's vision for what Dirty Brown can become

    Chapters:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 00:19 Dirty Brown Turns 10: The Host Gets Interviewed
    • 01:06 15 Years in Tech, H1B Dreams and Why COVID Changed Everything
    • 03:42 What Is Dirty Brown and Where Did the Name Come From?
    • 05:07 How the Badchalan Aurat Series Was Born
    • 08:30 Indian Woman Abroad: Identity, Marriage Pressure and the Cost of Freedom
    • 13:56 What Makes Kriti - Hobbies, Books and the Feminist She Became
    • 17:24 Have You Led a Full Life? Taking Risks and What's Coming Next
    • 24:57 Badchalan Energy Quiz: Is Kriti a Certified Badchalan?
    • 27:30 Outro

    Connect with Dirty Brown:

    • Instagram



    29 min
  • Part II: Is Life For Brown Women Better Abroad? | The Negotiations Tax

    Is life for Indian women better abroad? In Part II of our deep dive into the "India vs. Abroad" debate, host Kriti J and guest Sugandha S move from the safety of the streets to the safety of the systems we live in.

    If Part I was about the physical "Safety Tax," Part II is about the "Negotiation Tax." We explore sexism at workplace and systemic issues in India vs Abroad.

    We also get deeply personal about the "Marriage Script." In a culture that often views a woman’s 30s as a deadline, how do we use financial independence to reclaim our autonomy? From healing after emotional abuse to finding a "frequency match" in a partner, we discuss why choosing to stay unmarried isn’t a pause - it’s a move toward a more authentic life.

    Chapters:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 00:29 Sexism in Global Workplace
    • 02:19 Paternity Leave & The Caregiver Trap
    • 03:55 Normalizing Period Leave in the Office
    • 05:28 Marriage Pressure and Family Expectations
    • 08:29 Financial Independence & Female Autonomy
    • 09:49 Red Flags: Dating Apps & Modern Feminism
    • 12:33 Relationships, Trauma & Healing
    • 14:29 Part I & II conclusion
    • 17:03 Outro
    19 min
  • Part I: Is Life For Brown Women Better Abroad? | The Safety Tax

    On paper, lives of these two Indian women are remarkably similar - both are independent, childfree women working on their passions. However, their daily "negotiations" with physical space look very different. From the audacity of Uber drivers in Gurgaon to the subtext of racism and isolation in Toronto, host Kriti J and her long-time friend Sugandha explore the invisible "Safety Tax" that women pay just to exist.

    In this conversation, we discuss:

    • Why Sugandha feels she had to buy her safety by purchasing a car and paying a premium for gated housing.
    • The psychological "bubble" Kriti creates to ignore unwanted attention in public spaces.
    • The reality of harassment while running outside, from night-time training to ultra-marathons.
    • How the "Tax" of living abroad often involves navigating microaggressions and the feeling of being an "other."

    This is Part 1 of a two-part series. Next episode available in two weeks. Make sure to follow!

    Chapters

    • 00:00 Introduction
    • 00:52 Unmarried, Childfree, Independent
    • 01:27 The Freedom Myth: Comparing Life in Toronto & Gurgaon
    • 04:15 Why Independence in India Costs a Premium
    • 06:50 The Runner's Dilemma
    • 09:03 Street Harassment
    • 13:00 The Racism Tax for Brown Women Abroad
    • 15:08 Strategy of Avoiding "Lustful Eyes"
    • 17:51 Navigating Freedom and Societal Pressures
    • 19:50 What's next

    Follow Dirty Brown on socials

    21 min
  • Why This Indian Woman Chose Ultramarathons Over MBA ft Sugandha Singhal

    What happens when a "good girl" trades an MBA for ultramarathons and designer career paths for desert dust? In this episode of Dirty Brown, Sugandha Singhal joins host, Kriti J to discuss how endurance training became her ultimate tool for self-discovery and social rebellion - from defying the "settled" timeline of her 30s to overcoming self-image issues. It’s a conversation about reclaiming your body, your time, and your right to be "difficult.

    • 00:00 - Intro
    • 00:16 - Meet Sugandha Singhal
    • 00:34 - Reality of Ultra Running
    • 05:27- Why most people quit (and she stayed)
    • 07:35 - The 12-hour daily grind
    • 11:36 - The "Bulky" Myth: Women's fitness in India
    • 16:05 - UPSC/MBA dreams vs reality: No regrets
    • 19:36 - Badchalan Energy quiz
    • 23:58 Part II Teaser
    • 24:42 - Bloopers

    Follow on socials

    • Instagram: @_sugs_ , @moveasy.co
    • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@_dirtybrown_⁠
    26 min

About Dirty Brown

From the publisher's feed

Dirty Brown is a feminist podcast unlearning patriarchy, one bold take at a time. Host Kriti J dives into the messiness of societal norms and cultural contradictions that shape South Asian women.