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2 Dead Dogs and a Crushed Hat
There's a punchline at the end of life that makes it all funny? Right?
Come on, indulge me!
What a year. I'm laughing now. But then. Ouch.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF LOSS AND OTHER BAD JOKES THE UNIVERSE TELLS US.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving understanding.
'Utterly brilliant . Funny, honest, generous and profound. Clever, surprising and never predictable; and did I mention he's funny?'
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: grief, dead dogs, the end of us, crushed hats, survival laughs, Ben Keaton, spoken word, Father Ted, black comedy, foolish resilience, Dirty Stupid Wisdom.
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
I Yam what I Yam – Tattoo’s Crazy
Popeye, the spinach eating cartoon sailor of the 1930s and 40s said it best.
He knew who he was and had the tattoos to prove it.
Identity emerges.
Some know day one and can’t wait to get going.
This is one of those days.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY INKED ON SKIN AND MEMORY.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: tattoos, identity, Popeye wisdom, comic essays, father and son, inked skin, finding yourself, spoken word, Ben Keaton, generational conflict, body as canvas, Father Ted, Dirty Stupid Wisdom.
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Those self-help gurus must live perfect lives, right? So why do they look like they just came out of rehab? Knowing the right thing to do and doing it are not the same thing at all. That’s why bakeries sell out by 2pm.
THIS IS THE STORY OF HUMANITY Vs COMMON SENSE
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: bad decisions, failed wisdom, self-help myths, reckless impulse, comic essays, life choices, foolish truths, Ben Keaton, spoken word, Dirty Stupid Wisdom.
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Acting is a mad business. You get to do things you’d run from in the real world.
'You’ll be naked in this scene.'
'I feckin won’t!'
'So will she.'
'Oh. Ok then.'
Some roles get under your skin. Others swallow you whole. The thrill is intoxicating, the comedown brutal. Somewhere along the way you may forget where the character ends and you begin.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF SURVIVAL
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: live sex on stage, kissing strangers, acting, method madness, stage intoxication, theatre life, comic trauma, obsession, Ben Keaton, Father Ted, reinvention, Dirty Stupid Wisdom.
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
There are lots of ways to lose friends — not returning a lawnmower, fancying the wife, constantly leaving wee on the floor after bathroom visits. All of them in the canon of possibility.
I just didn’t see this one coming.
This episode is about the bewilderment of loss. The not-calling, not-texting, not-saying-goodbye kind of ending that leaves you staring at your phone like it owes you an explanation.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP YOU THOUGHT WAS MUTUAL.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter:
Disappearing friends, not-so-mutual friendships, social silence, Ben Keaton, comic essays, spoken word, grief 2.0, ghosting without death, rural relationships, male emotion, Dirty Stupid Wisdom.
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Ben Keaton is a drinker in constant search of that sweet spot.
That mix if soft warm, witty repartee embodied by his childhood heroes. This episode is a hymn to booze and online shopping. Those next day deliveries are just full of surprises after a few glasses of red.
'Did I really order nipple tassels? Well, better try them on then.'
THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON EXCELLENT DECISIONS MADE UNDER THE INFLUENCE.
And maybe, just maybe, you should take his cards.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: joyful drinking, creative impulse, online shopping, Ben Keaton, comic essays, spoken word, artistic freedom, spontaneous choices, drunken clarity, Dirty Stupid Wisdom
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Superstition, ghosts, there’s no need to believe in any of that unless it shares your DNA and slips you cash when you’re broke.
This episode is an account of the madness that creeps in
when ladders, pianos and dead fathers collide.
A TRUE STORY BASED ON UNRESOLVED FEELINGS AND DEAD PEOPLE
And maybe, just maybe, your dead relative can pop back and sort things.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter:
ghost stories, Irish childhood, superstition, father and son, haunted houses, spiritual connection, Ben Keaton, comic essays, spoken word, fatherhood, dead relatives, Dirty Stupid Wisdom
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Ben Keaton keeps a list of people he hates.
It’s not a list you’d write down.
It’s a private tally of rage.
Petty. Profound. Occasionally piss-soaked.
This episode is about the fantasies we quietly enjoy and the hatreds we politely deny— It might include a theatre director who pours a pint over your head. I wonder who HE is?
There’s no grand solution to the things that make us seethe. You can dream about a car, a scream, and the funeral you attend, smiling.
But it’s just a fantasy.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF IMPOTENT VIOLENCE.
And yes—he keeps a list. He really does.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter:
personal protest, repressed anger, comic monologue, inner rage, Ben Keaton, spoken word, enemies list, Catholic guilt, Dirty Stupid Wisdom
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
Some sights stay with you forever. The shock may even cause you to rewrite history. In this case the bollocks of a time lord in an intimate setting. You don’t plan for it but once those fellas are out there, there’s no unseeing them.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON FAILING MEMORY
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: Doctor Who, backstage madness, accidental exposure, celebrity bollocks, comic trauma, iconic encounters, Legends of TV, timeless testicles
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
All Inclusive
Ben Keaton’s feed is having a breakdown. The algorithm is too confident. It thinks it knows us, when we don't know ourselves. He’s starting to question what honesty actually looks like. Not the polite social kind— the real McCoy.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sleep.
Dirty Stupid Wisdom Litter: mental health, the algorithm, overthinking, modern guilt, social masks, reluctant honesty, compassion fatigue, child poverty UK, SEND education
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Copyright © 2025 Dirty Stupid Wisdom. All rights reserved.
From the publisher's feed
I know a lot of things.
Correction. I have a lot of experience.
Moments of brilliance, tragedy, joy, success and poor decisions. A slop bucket of life.…
These essays are an effort to make sense of that. It's supposed to make sense isn't it? We wouldn't be the only known living beings in the star system for no reason, that would be ridiculous.
I like simple things. And I like the pain we suffer. It cuts through the noise. And I like my confusion funny. Dirty Stupid Wisdom is my collection of funny, ridiculous, painful moments that suggest clarity and insight. They won't cure you but they might sustain you for a short while.