Discipling By Jesus

To escape from a confused chat thread, David rephrased three concerns he had about Ernie's proposed topic for this coming Tuesday (1/5/2021) on The Great Reset:

1. It does not provide continuity, or address open problems
2. Ernie seems to be placing all the responsibility on David, rather than sharing it
3. The goal should be to model (live out) discipleship, and Ernie's proposal doesn't seem to accomplish what his proposal attempted, i.e. establishing a baseline he can use to hold people's feet to the fire (and vice versa) 

Ernie clarified that he did intend to address #1, apologized for #2, and expressed curiosity about how #3 interacted with what he would present.  David then worried that Ernie was placing too much pressure on himself by attempting to address all of that!. Ernie blithely reassured him that this is how he does his best work -- by raising expectations he does yet know how to fulfill!

Will this work?  Or come back to bite him? Stay tuned to find out!

References

• Automated Transcript (plus Chat Thread)
• Divided by a Common Language 

Robby contacted Ernie to ensure he hadn't hurt his feelings during Tuesday's The Great Reset. He had agreed with Janet that he too would leave the group if it was true that Ernie was espousing non-scriptural foundations, but didn't think that was the case.

Ernie admitted that he had partly called out Robby's statement for dramatic effect; the emotional pain was minimal (and addressed).  However, he would have preferred Robby to validate Janet's emotions without necessarily endorsing her reasoning (about leaving), even if he disagreed with her facts.

Surprisingly, Robby realized that he had actually lied in that statement. In reality he would not have left the group under such circumstances.  However, he unconsciously said whatever seemed necessary to reduce tensions (as he had been trained to do by his family of origin).

This led to a discussion of abjection: the instinctual response to reject what is "not-self."  Ernie's claimed this was behind Janet's desire to leave the group, Robby's subconscious attempts to reduce conflict, and even his conscious mind's rejection of the part of himself that lies to avoid conflict.  Ernie suggested "communion" as the opposite of abjection, though they both identified weaknesses with that word.

This tied into a larger critique Ernie had of Robby's model of "hearing and following Jesus."  While that is clearly a good thing, Ernie pointed out that the disciples (and many others) clearly heard and followed Jesus for three years, yet still fell away at the cross (except for John).  He suggested the stronger term "Jesus lover", reflecting Jesus' challenge in John 21:15-17 for Peter to "love" (identify with, even in suffering) rather than merely "like" (enjoy for the sake of benefits) him.

He ended by arguing that in the end, the only thing that matters is relationships.  And in particular, that if we focus in the right way on improving our relationship with our "selves", we will open ourselves to not just hear Jesus more clearly, but become a conduit of His grace to all our other relationships.

References

• Automated Transcript
• Immanuel Approach
• Abjection (Julia Kristeva)
• Being as Communion (John Zizioulas)
• Prelude to Reconciliation (Type 1 and 2)

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me." -- John 10:27

After an extended period of reconciliation, Steve and Ernie return to discuss questions of discipleship. 

Ernie proposes the alternate term "spiritual fathering" to describe the relationship of Paul with Timothy.  He affirms that this kind of authority-based model, built around implicit trust in the "father figure," is essential for new believers.  However, he argues that:

1. A group of mature believers like The Great Reset wouldn't accept an authority like that
2. When it doesn't work, we blame individuals rather than the model
3. When it does work, it is hard for people to transcend the limitations of the father figure

Steve was wiling to concede those points, but didn't see that as sufficient motivation for pursuing a new model.  For his part, Ernie struggled to articulate what exactly he would do differently.

Will they be able to find an answer? Does it even matter?

References

• Automated Transcript

David was surprised that Ernie was so upbeat about Tuesday's conversation with Janet.  Perhaps this is because Ernie was primarily hurt by Janet appearing to withdraw from the group relationship, then reaffirming that relationship (and Ernie's emotions) on Tuesday.  David was less optimistic, because Ernie and Janet had not appeared to reach a common understanding, which implied such problems were likely to recur.

This was poignant for David because he felt frustrated in his attempt to encourage Janet to reconcile. Waiting until Ernie finished also did not seem a viable option, since he was scheduled to work with Janet on Apples of Gold.

When Ernie suggested David set those feelings aside, this led to an extended discussion of compartmentalization: whether there were healthy or unhealthy ways to do that, and how that related to authenticity.  David shared his ongoing debate with Bill about whether churches are more like train-wrecks or ship-wrecks.  Ernie suggested that churches are slightly better at showing grace for personal addictions (shipwrecks) than relational dysfunction (train-wrecks).

Stay tuned to find out if The Great Reset will be train-wrecks all the way down, or we might find a way out through the cross.

References

• Automated Transcript
• HeartSync Ministries
• Internal Family Systems
• Jungian Psychology

After a bruising (if surprisingly productive) episode last Tuesday, David shares frustrations about his relationship with Bill. He also has to remind Ernie that the reason he (David) didn't welcome Ernie's input was that Ernie didn't seem interested in understanding David.  Ernie conceded the point, but argued it was wrong for David to bring Bill up if he didn't want Ernie's help.  David immediately agreed, apologized and confessed.

[They had initially agreed to remove the offending section, but later decided to show it to Bill first. He surprisingly agreed to publish it, but wanted to discuss David's characterization of Bill's motives.  They ended up resolving, or at least identifying, their core issues, and are in a much better place.  Which will no doubt make for a much less stressful Christmas dinner!]

David then suggested a model for why we had trouble understanding each other: we are both original thinkers, and have therefore developed heuristics for dealing with "conventional" thinkers -- which backfire when used on each other!  Ernie agreed, but felt the solution was to create shared experiences we could point to in order to develop a new vocabulary.  David argue Ernie had already tried that, and that a better route was to find some common priors and extrapolate from those.  Ernie was doubtful, but agreed to let David try next week, and they could alternate after that.

References

• Automated Transcript
• Two and a Half Men (IMDB)
• Shaka, When the Walls Fell (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Ernie is surprised to discover that David:

1. Has not been truly engaged with The Great Reset during Season 6
2. Does not think Ernie shares his belief that The Great Reset should focus on relationships
3. Feels obligated to conform to Ernie's values, as owner of the group

(David, for his part, was surprised that this wasn't obvious to Ernie).

Much of this seems to stem from Ernie's perspective that he is a "Steward" of the group. As such, his responsibility is not to impose his values, but create a safe space for everyone to express their values to better reflect Jesus' values.  

This created a conflict in Season 5, when Ernie shut down David's questioning of Bill.  Ernie chose "create a safe space" over David's "express his values."  

Was that a false choice?  Could Ernie have done better? Even if not, what should be done now?

Stay tuned for next Tuesday, to see if the group can help them find a better way forward.

• Automated Transcript

Ernie and David debrief The Great Reset (12/7). Should we primarily focus on being Discipled by Scripture? Or should we be figuring out a way to articulate and implement the vision of our Producer, Ted Hahs? Whose vision really counts, anyway? Will Bill ever come back? And what would it take for David to feel this has all been worth it?

References

• Automated Transcript (UberConference)
• What are User Stories? (Agile Alliance)
• The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint Exupery)
• Genius versus Crackpot (Twitter)

In this powerful follow-on to last Tuesday's episode of The Great Reset, Janet shares about the trauma she experienced as a child, and the struggle she faces between expressing her anger and trying to be "perfect." In particular, she confesses a deep desire to slap whoever dissed her, rather than having to show them compassion.

Ernie suggested naming that part of herself "Slappy", and asking what it wants -- and where it came from. Janet shared how she was required to be silent whenever she witnessed abuse at home, lest she make things worse.  More, she was explicitly trained to either lie or freeze up when invited to share unpleasant truths.

Ernie encouraged Janet to visit a place where she had felt close to God, and invite Slappy to encounter Jesus there.  Janet chose a tree she used to climb at Summer Bible Camp. Slappy, true to its name, just started slapping Jesus, over and over again.  Jesus just stood there with smile on His face until Slappy was all tired out. Then Ernie suggested He would say: "Thank you [for being honest].  Now come, and follow me."

References

• Automated Transcript
• Inner Healing Movement
• Parts of Personality
• Immanuel Approach
• HeartSync Ministries

David and Ernie both enjoyed Tuesday's episode of The Great Reset, but not in the same way.  Ernie saw it as encouraging progress towards the group learning how to "Love More Like Jesus."  But while David considered it a positive experience, he did not see it as any sort of real progress. He felt it was more like a random walk. Ernie conceded the apparent randomness, but claimed even that can generate forward progress, with the right filter (a la Maxwell's daemon).

To clarify his thinking, David claimed that relational problems are like speed bumps: there is usually one difficult part, after which it is "green pastures" (until the next bump).  Some of these are minor problems that a "mature adult" can easily get over (or not even notice), whereas others are extremely difficult.  That is why he didn't see Tuesday's call as progress:  while we didn't do anything "wrong", we haven't yet overcome the truly hard part necessary to bring reconciliation.

Put another way, truly challenging speed bumps require a "miracle" to overcome. He has seen unexpected miracles like that in the group (e.g., Steve speaking up, Ernie submitting to criticism), but this Tuesday's encounter wasn't sufficient. 

Ernie liked many aspects of David's framework, but wondered why David didn't seem particularly curious about Ernie's framework.  David countered that he was in fact very curious about what was going on inside Ernie's head.  However, it seemed obvious to him that Ernie's framework was (or at least should be) basically the same as his, since they were built around the same values.

Ernie countered by attempting to draw a distinction between "validity" and "effectiveness":  multiple models may be equally valid (in the sense of well-formed), but differ greatly in how and where they are useful.  David disagreed with that use of the word 'valid' -- but Ernie had to run off to a meeting, so they left with that unresolved.

References

• Automated Transcript
• Elephant Listening (The Great Reset, S6E1)
• Random Walk
• Maxwell's Daemon
• Activation Energy
• What are Leading and Lagging Indicators?
• Well-Formed Document

After several weeks of intense conversations, David and Ernie find themselves at loose ends. Ted has not only taken on the Producer role (with David as Director and Ernie as Writer), but proposed a new format to experiment with in Season 6. That, plus a relatively uneventful Season Finale, means that the Dynamic Duo have nothing urgent to argue about.

Rather that quit early, they take up David's suggestion to simply share about their lives.  Ernie shares about his COVID utopia of being able to stay home with his family rather than driving 2.5 hours a day for school and work. David expresses his gratitude at spending Thanksgiving with Bill and Irene after an emotionally challenging November.

While there are still important and difficult questions that will eventually need to be addressed, perhaps this is an appropriate time to simply appreciate one another as human beings rather than focus on what divides us. Happy Thanksgiving!

References

• Automated Transcript
• TGR-S5E7 Jobs to Be Done
• Thanksgiving Special (The Great Reset, S5E7)
• "We are all losers" (Guardians of the Galaxy)