Diversity Dad podcast - Helping dads to "buck conventionally" and celebrate doing fatherhood differently.

Jennifer K. Jordan is a California-based author with a passion for celebrating the spiritual in our daily lives and educating others. She has worked as a writer and teacher and holds dual Master’s Degrees in Education and School Counselling.

As a huge advocate of equal parenting for dads, Jennifer spent many years searching for and interviewing the fathers of Dadly Wisdom, her book which presents a positive image of the active dad. She now offers their powerful stories in this transformative book of love, joy and inspiration.

Jennifer says her motivation for writing her book was her own dad. When her mother passed away in 1998, she got to know her father in a whole new way.

“I came to really appreciate his wisdom as a father”.

She was already a writer, and starting asking people if they knew wise dads not only in her locally, but also in other states, for her book about fathers. Jennifer ended up interviewing 100 fathers, and chose 52 to appear in the book.

Most of the dads she spoke with were older, and she got a sense that to acquire wisdom, life experience is needed. She says the most common characteristic was that they were extremely humble.

“They were just going about their business; feeling called to the responsibility of being a dad.”

Jennifer also says many of them were service-oriented, not just with their family, but with their community.  In addition to this trait, many were men of faith and had an optimistic spirit.

She believes that no one had ever asked them how it felt to be a dad.

“They really love their families and want to talk. I don’t feel like they’re given much invitation to do that in life.”

Jennifer noticed that her own dad became much more vulnerable after her mother passed away, and they shared on a much different level as a result.

I think our relationship was enhanced. We got to know each other as people.

“The main thing she wants readers to take away from the book is that dads

are not alone. She hopes fathers will learn from the stories in the book, as the men interviewed were from many different walks of life. She believes it will help them become even better dads and gain more wisdom about life in general. Finally, she feels that men will have more courage to speak out about their feelings.”

”I’m hopeful (the book) will inspire (dads) to be more intentional about passing on their wisdom. That’s invaluable.”

“Jennifer says that it’s not society’s norm for dads to share their feelings, and it takes a lot of strength for them to realize that sharing won’t take away from their manhood.

Her biggest challenge in writing the book was the sheer magnitude of the project. Project co-ordination was difficult, as the fathers were in other states and countries, and had to approve the final draft. It took one busy dad 8 months to approve his part of the book.

“I was committed to what I was doing, and willing to wait. It was all worth it.”

Jennifer also says that cold calls were often hard to make, as well as interviewing prominent men.

“They were still dads; they just love their kids and wanted to share. No matter how successful

To support dads, mothers can “step out of the way.”

Talking to them about how they feel about being a father and celebrating them for taking care of the family as well is important.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

http://www.jenniferkarinjordan.com/

@JKJWisdomSeries

The post Episode #25 – Jennifer Jordan | The wisdom of dads appeared first on Helping dads in a non-traditional situation be great at parenting..

In this installment of the Diversity Dad Resource Series, Jama’l talks with Kevin Renner. Kevin interviewed over 50 women worldwide for his book, “In Search of Fatherhood.” He received his social science degree from the University of California, as well as an MBA. While attending post-graduate school, he lived with over 600 women and men from around the world at an international house. He was previously in marketing for startup companies, as well as successful global companies. Kevin has an interest in cross-cultural perspectives, which has given him the opportunity to work throughout Europe, as well as Asia. Kevin had the idea to write his book when his daughters were 9 and 13 years old. He realized that although men learn a lot from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, nowhere are they taught how to raise a little girl into womanhood.

“Here’s the most important thing we have to do, and it’s the thing that we’re the least equipped in.”

He struggled himself with the issue and was told that if he wanted to learn how to be a father, especially to young girls, he’d have to go talk with women.

“Every woman, is by definition, a daughter”

Kevin originally began speaking with women that he was friends with about how their lives were shaped by their fathers. He then decided to expand to outside of his social circle, to women around the globe. He spoke with people from 19 different countries, from ages 20 to 90, from CEOs and Supreme Court judges to marginalized and homeless women.

“Their stories formed the basis of what became a real interesting adventure for me personally”.

He found cultural differences between the women, but says that at a psychological level, the similarities are substantially greater than the differences. Kevin states that despite whatever culture a daughter is born into, the human needs are universal in that daughters crave the attention and acceptance of their parents.

“If the father is not there, his absence has the most profound impact on the life of his daughter”

The lessons are learned in the stories they share, according to Kevin. This can be either by the heroic, or the horrific, nature of their fathers. The stories made Kevin aware of his interactions with his own daughters.

“Every time you do something with your daughter, it affirms in her that she is interesting and worthy of your time”.

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 Christos Pittis is a social marketing extraordinaire. He offers the social marketing services that he provides through Fiverr. He’s also working on a start-up, which looks to expand and build a more scalable model of that website. He has two kids; a 7-year old daughter and a 5-year old son. Some of the activities that he enjoys most are walking, playing football and travelling. Christos grew up in Cyprus, Greece and still maintains a residence there, as well as working in London, England.With Fiverr, he started by offering $5 services and expanded to $10 and $20 ones. Now he’s looking to expand his sales funnel and is in the process of rebuilding his website and social media tools to include more content such as videos, downloadable material and podcasts.

He enjoys working from home because he loves his kids and wants to spend as much time as possible with them. The most important thing to Christos is maintaining a proper work/life balance. He works on Fiverr for 4 to 5 hours a day, and spends the rest of his time at home with his family.

“I think a Diversity Dad is someone who keeps the balance with family and work”

Christos says he’s not afraid to fail and to make mistakes, which separates him from a lot of other people.

“I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that’s the reason why I am here today”

He’s trying to learn new things everyday and develop different ways of social marketing. With his first Fiverr gig, he changed the post description 20 times, while checking the analytics and reports to see the results of each change.

“It’s important to stay in front of the technology and the trends”

The one thing that excites him the most about being a dad is teaching his kids what he knows. Christos has his daughter watch him whenever he creates an Instagram photo. It not only shows his kids how to use technology, but also allows them to spend time together. He’s most proud of his children doing well in school and helping other kids do the same.

His biggest obstacle has been working too much and having multiple jobs, although he is trying his best to avoid this and spend lots of quality time with his wife and kids.

His one piece of advice to fathers is to have your kids understand the purpose of life and for them to set high goals for their lives. He wants his own kids to be good people, help others and to give love.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.ChristosPittis.com

@CPittis (Twitter)

The post Episode #23 – Christos Pittis | Social Media Parenting appeared first on Helping dads in a non-traditional situation be great at parenting..

Hogan Hilling is a father of three and a nationally recognized author who has published 8 books regarding fatherhood. This has led him to create the “Dadly Series.”Hogan was also invited to the Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about being an at-home dad with his disabled son. He is also creating the “Dadly Rally” which gathers dads to talk about fatherhood. Hogan believes he is a Diversity Dad because of a number of reasons. His single mother raised him, after his parents divorced when he was two years old. He moved from Brazil to the Netherlands with his mom and brother, and reunited with his own father after 27 years of separation. Hogan is a dad of a child with special needs, Wesley, and went through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. As a father advocate, he says he has worked with almost every type of father there is.“I’ve had a wealth of experience and a wealth of supportive dads in my social circle”Hogan believes the biggest challenge he has had is fighting the stigma that our culture has created about men being inept, irresponsible and incompetent parents.He’s had financial struggles due to the large medical bills for his son, as well as the emotional challenge faced when people didn’t see his son as a human being. Hogan says his son has taught him a lot about life. “Embrace the special gift your child has, and support the passion that they have for the life that they want to live” He believes the community embraced him because of his attitude towards Wesley. ”I asked for them to embrace him not because they had to, but because they wanted to being mindful about spending time with all of his kids is the one thing that he is most excited about making every second and minute I spent with my kids count.’ “Hogan says he looks at fatherhood through the eyes of his children.” “That’s the part of being mindful; nothing else matters. One of the things I feel best about as a father, is on my deathbed, I’ll never say that I wish I spent more time with my kids.”Appearing on Oprah was one of his proudest moments because he got the opportunity to share his parent experience with others. Hogan never dreamt of being an author, but says it just fell in his lap.Every day he would write in his journal about a happy moment, or something he learned from his kids. Someone suggested he turn his writings into a book. He believes that parents unfortunately tend to focus on the negative aspects of being a parent, because they feel that without drama, they’re not normal. “People are so engrossed in the challenges of raising a child, and not looking at the joys.” “His one piece of advice is that people set their ego aside, and ask for help from others dads.” “If you’d like a father-friendly environment, act like a friendly father, especially to other dads.” The Dadly Rally is debuting in Marc 2016 (Los Angeles), but they Hogan and his partners want to go nationwide within 5 years (see INTERVIEW LINKS). The people involved want to leave a better parenting legacy for kids. INTERVIEW LINKS www.DadlyRally.com [email protected] (Email)

The post Episode #22 – Hogan Hilling | The Dadly Rally appeared first on Helping dads in a non-traditional situation be great at parenting..

Steve Rodgers is a consultant, business and lifestyle coach, as well as an author. He has his own academy, the “Alchemy Advisors”, which trains and helps businesses thrive. He loves yoga, Kung Fu, self-improvement and exploring new things. Steve has been married 25 years and has two children. Steve was an executive in a real estate company for many years. For the last 5 years, he ran his own real estate business in San Diego, with 400 agents and 8 offices. He made a life change last year after his wife had a major health crisis during a surgery. As well, he found he was losing his passion for the real estate industry, and in the last year has re-invented himself both in terms of business, and his health. “I’m taking my skills and background, utilizing them in a new way forentrepreneurs. I’m excited about this new path I’m on.” Steve’s wife had two children from her previous marriage, and he believes beingtheir step dad has made him a Diversity Dad. He shares that they found a way to blend together, despite the different dynamics. Within the first 5 to 10 minutes of meeting his wife, he knew he was going to marry her and felt they had a “soul connection.” “He believes that being part of someone else growing, and watching them evolve, isthe most important piece of being a dad.” “Realize you’re on a journey with someone, besides just your spouse.” “Moments that stand out for him include his son winning a global Internet contest atthe age of 16, and his daughter getting married and being able to walk her down the aisle.” “Even though I’m not their biological dad, they have grown to look at me as theirDad.” “The biggest obstacle for Steve and his kids were navigating the teenage years.” When kids are spreading their wings and testing boundaries, that’s always a reallychallenging time. Steve feels that kids need discipline, but you also have to give them great memories that don’t just involve money (camping trips, taking them to the movies, etc.)There were times that the children reminded Steve that he wasn’t their real dad, but he didn’t take it personally. His one piece of advice to Diversity Dads is to lead by example, no matter what agethe kids are. “They really watch what you do, not what you say. Set that example yourselfand live that life yourself.” Steve’s new book, “Lead to Gold: An Entrepreneur’s Journey through Transition andTransformation is launching in early 2016. INTERVIEW LINKSwww.SteveRodgersBlog.comwww.TheAlchemyAdvisors.com

The post Episode #21 – Steve Rodgers | Dress up and Show up as a Dad appeared first on Helping dads in a non-traditional situation be great at parenting..

Mashup Episode – Show Notes

In this episode of Diversity Dad, Jama’l takes excerpts from past episodes of 2015,

Bolaji O., is the CEO of Bravepreneur Parents Academy. He shares with listeners the

Jay Forte of the Greatness Zone stresses the importance of being aware of who you are. He says that it’s a requirement for all of us to get comfortable with this and recommends that we created a "personal board of directors" ;people who care and love you – period.

Michael Anthony Duncan pulls a lesson from The Cosby Show, and talks about an episode where Bill Cosby helps a new dad. To do so, he tells the new father

Cedric Hameed says his biggest obstacle as a dad is wondering if he could actually

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Malik Jones – Show Notes

He says that the public school system in his city is going through a lot of turmoil, with art being subject to program cuts.

“One of the common components of a good school is a balance of education and arts”

Malik feels so strongly about this that he holds a workshop at the local recreation center every Tuesday and Thursday.

“Art gave me an incentive to go to school”

Malik loves being a father and says it’s the best thing that he has experienced in his life. He’s always looking for better ways to be a dad, and improve his kids life (by teaching them poems, about culture, etc.) which he says makes him a Diversity Dad.

He grew up on welfare with his siblings and single mother. His peers were selling drugs and committing robberies. He realized it wasn’t for him and he had art and football to keep him out of trouble.

“I was able to break away from all that and see a broader frame of life”

Malik became a social worker because it was the only thing in college that he connected with.  As a child, he knew what it was like for social workers to come into the home, and he was familiar with counselling, as he had attended anger management sessions.

Malik became a father figure for his younger brothers, by teaching his younger brothers football skills and other life lessons. This paid off when two of them received full scholarships to play the sport. One of his brother’s currently plays professionally in the NFL, with the Cleveland Browns.

He has his kids at least once a month, as they live with their mother (Malik’s ex) in Pittsburgh. He also has them on alternate holidays, as well as for two months during the summer.

When with his children, Malik is very hands on and instils values in them.

“Our relationship is awesome. It came out of fear of losing them.”

“I just made sure that in the time I had them, I did the best job as a parent that I could possibly do”

As much as he hated it at the time, it was the best move for them to live with their mother as he said it as a better environment.

His proudest moment of being a dad is the one that he realized he was really a father. He’s proud when he sees his kids following the rules they agreed upon and self-disciplining themselves. When this happens, he says he knows he did something right in raising them, and he’s constantly working to be an even better father.

Malik embraces the challenges that come he way, and he says the biggest obstacle he faced came during the court battle with this ex.

“It was very daunting and difficult, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It made me a better man and a better person.”

His one piece of advice for parents is to “just be there”, because if you do, your kids will never forget.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

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