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It's so wrong
All that I want from you;
You're all I want–
And all I've ever gotten
It's funny, huh,
How it all works out
Around the world and back
And I'm still the same as I ever was
You're all I want,
Because y're everything I'm not
False flag
I might throw in the towl
I don't mean to brag but
My mind is fowl
I live in the gutter
With less responsibility,
I might be a part animal
But–
What you see is what you get
(If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic
Till the sun comes up,
And it sets again)
Or was it acid
My secret combination
A flower in a garden
Beg your pardon
I got a hard on
Honest
Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you.
Promise.
Thats about the only promise i can make.
Moe toxic than AIDS.
You have AIDS.
Anything can be arranged.
You would do that just to spite me?
I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis.
This is the worst.
This is the worst, ever.
EAT THE BRATWURST.
NAAEEERR.
EAAT THE SAUSAGE.
NOOO–AAAHHH.
JUST–EAT IT.
AHHHHHHHH.
This story takes forever to tell.
Well, it's going to have to be less than forever.
For what.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME.
This version of me likes everything spicy.
That's it? That's the only difference?
–and does a lot of cocaine.
Oh. That's
Nice.
*snifs*
nice .
Hey.
Hey.
Hold this.
*leaves*
…haha.
What, dude.
I'm gonna kill you in your sleep.
You wanna know what's fucked up?
No.
I have dirty little secrets no one should know about–
–Christ–
–And people know about them.
I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone.
What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map.
I'm making peace with this.
Here, breakfast.
What's in this.
Eggs.
What's going on.
Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed.
-_-
Aw. That kid is cute.
I know huh.
TYLER.
Lol. who the fuck is tyler.
I don't know.
TYLER, GET IN HERE.
TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS.
[TYLER]
Woah.
Whaaat.
Ah. What's in a name, anyway?
That's it? That's the only difference.
Yup.
His name's “Tyler”
He's fucking perfect.
Yeah, except.
TYLER!
OH MY GOD. WHAT.
DId you ever figure out what happened to the-
No, not yet.
DEADMAU5
I don't respect you.
Aww. did you hear that?
I heart that.
deadmau5 doesn't respect me.
that's sad.
that is sad. I'm so sad.
I'd be sad.
now i'm sadmau5.
lol
So. Wait.
Mmhmm.
I'm–deadmau5.
Yes.
So that means.
WHAT IS THIS CRISIS.
I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am.
DADMAU5.
What did you do.
I dug up a lot of pasts.
PASTS.
And brought them to the present.
Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus.
I don't understand.
Please, please stop this.
I can't. It's happened.
PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York.
SKRILLEX
I'M A GOD.
PART II: Revenge.
ME
Revenge!? What revenge!
I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX.
SKRILLEX
DIE MOTHERFUCKER.
*dies*
This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight.
Make that 8.
8 Seasons Straight.
Wait. What was that dream I had last night
I hope she remembers.
It was something important.
Don't tell mom about this.
Mom about what.
[Explosion]
OH MY GOD.
Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can–
Do that.
But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well–
[WORST DRAGON EVER]
It's a dragon, and that's what it does.
COELACANTH GROWLS
Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke.
I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse.
What's worse than being broke in New York City.
My God, you're right. Well.
COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN.
That's it, buddy! NO more bananas
COELACANTH
???
NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty]
See?
What did you do.
Nothin.
WHAT DID YOU DO.
Don't touch me.
Why are you squinting like that.
Uh. Cause I have eyes.
You have a secret.
Everyone has secrets.
YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME.
Alright, buddy.
Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go.
Where are you going?
To get some dick.
EW.
Arguably.
That's gross.
I'm–pretty gross.
Ugh!
See ya. Or not. Whatever.
Sorry to say “I'm sorry”
So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more
Okay
I'll jus curl up under my
Security blanket
It's a curse, sure it is
I write myself blank checks
Jim Carrey me home
(whatever that means)
Cause
I've been homeless so long
And nobody wants me
It's just a bee sting,
But don't eat honey
No worries
I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry”
So he don't love me, huh
That's awful
So what was it all for
Homework
Somehow, I just go back and forth
That's the way to move forward
Sure, it is–it's a curse
*cough* a lovely photographer,
Sorry I loved him before
But it's awful now
Take me home
(Whatever that was)
No worries
I write myself blank checks
Jim Carrey me home
(whatever that means)
Cause
I've been homeless so long
And nobody wants me
It's just a bee sting,
But don't eat honey
No worries
I've been under the radar famous
Haven't been the same sense
Same senses: six of them
Don't even know what today is
__
It's just a sex thing;
I don't want the rest of you
That she can have
Your other less-than-half
I still have a percentage
(Nonsense)
I still want to grab at your–
(Aha)
First things first,
And last things last
All of these past lives
I get the last laugh
If that's your first wife
Good luck, getting it right
God knows I tried
God knows when I'm crying,
And still doesn't like it
So much for colorblind
Automatic shades, and motorized blind
What a lovely time to find
A tie that binds
Sugar and spice
That's mild,
Compared to your wild eyes
And the trials I've
Tested thorough lik vials
(or, test tubes, right)
That's the best cube, right
The latest edition
I've had my eye on
It's just a distraction
I haven't the slightest idea
What an Ion is,
Beyond science and mathematics,
This magic campaign
A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis
That's what that is
I left that Amethyst
At your Grandma's.
What.
“To Gradmother's House We Go”
I don't think this is a good plan–
This is the plan.
–at all.
I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma.
Dillon Francis.
Gross.
Listen, that's the only way.
But what if she's racist.
She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist.
MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA
[Speaking in croatian]
Damn. This is fucked up.
I think we went back too far.
WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE.
WHO'S COTTON- PICKING?
Oh God, stop this.
My eye is in the Sky–
(My eye is in the sky)
I'm always by your side
My eye is in the sky
YOu keep asking me what I want,
Like I know the answer!
Like, I know the answer–
But like, you're not gonna like it,
I mean you might,
And I could try to divide by 5
To get the answer right,
But not tonight
I'm too busy dying
I guess i”m a dick rider.
Right,
I'm just–
A big writer,
Provided I'm onto my idol
Or icon
Drawing on dollars,
A white collar criminal
It's simple
This isn't my passion–
But it's my talent;
Whatever,
I'll have to work at it
Addition, subtraction
(Erect, or dysfunctional)
Truly poetic, but
lets keep it classy
I'm passing it on my my agent,
He'll have a laugh at it.
So it's been another ten years;
Here we are,
In the place that i built
If you're so fond of me ,
How about you follow me
Into the next life,
Onward, and into the darkness
Oh! You can see in the dark now?
You succubus!
Isolate all of us,
Bring you up high till you fall down
The irony is,
I'm not ungrateful,
I just feel as if
I've slightly earned it
(Just a little bit)
Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen
But at the very least, at the end of it
I can just laugh and pretend
It didn't happen
Fellas,
You ever been shit on by two women
At the same time,
(not literally–
but , ust out o f curiosity,
If i was being seriously literal,
How many of you
Would have still said yes,
By a raise of hands?
Or, lets just have all the
Supersta DJs stand up
(Every single fan would give you a hand job!)
Just remember the guy holding
The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says
“The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore
Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom
Or the chick who's crying on her
“Fuck it, I quit!”
–But Hailey, we needed the second income
Gotta start somewhere
“–I just need a plunger”
Better try elsewhere, bud
It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this
Dillon Francis Shit.
Fuck.
I did it again
I let my obsessions slip
In the deadmau5, a false flag
In the big relay race to Skrillex
—and I can't image how backed up his inbox is
with pictures of ass and tits on
Anyday of the year,
but especially, this–
Happy Birthday, kid.
Now where's the pinata?
I oughtta wish him a bat to the head
For the shit he said
And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic
All over the internet
It's all over the internet
Better yet,
I'm on the black market,
I just bought it for a dollar
I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark
Suck my balls, fart.
That guy's a lot to handle.
Didn't I start this off with something more poetic?
I bet,
but got stuck in a mousetrap
I hope you're happy, you know
Actually,
I'm hoping it turns out tragic
Haven't you ever run out of your magic?
Wait, nobody has that.
It was.
All just.
In. Your.
Head.
Wake.
UP.
Hey kid,
What's the plan for tomorrow?
(Hopefully more falafels,
but probably not, thought)
Uh,
I gotta show up at the post office,
*facepalm*
Another Dillon Francis reference
Forget I ever had instagram
( haven't yet
So, what's the plan then?
More bacon on my bacon.
Okay, Mr. Miserable,
I get we're incompatible,
But i”m an animal,
Or at least the bi-product of something
Or somesuch
Fuck it,
I give all the way up.
Hey kid,
If i jump in front of a train
(and don't make it)
How am I gonna explain this?
I almost forgot how
When pretty girls turn evil
They get ugly
Huh
I guess I should humble up and consider us equals
huh
hey satan
I wish I could just –
Forget it
I wish i could just
Forget it
I wish i could just
Forget it
Any other kind of way,
And i could go crazy on a day like this
Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing.
I–what.
You have my blessing.
For what.
You love this girl.
CONT'D
Then marry her.
Wait, do what.
So it's settled!
Wait.
You're getting married.
DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED.
YES.
whaaaaat .
MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER.
Wait.
*CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF*
YESSSSSSSSS.
ohmygod.
Wait, why are you so happy?
Because!
*MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS*
Wow.
What's going on.
When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza.
What's so special about pizza.
CHEESE.
Oh, so it's cheese, you want?
Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker!
These are my dreams.
Well, that's gross!
Is it.
Why are we we at McDonalds?
When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds.
You're right.
I'm always right.
Maybe that's why you're so miserable.
Yeap, pretty much.
Where's your head?
In the shop.
FLASHBACk:
Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR.
That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that?
No, it literally only exists like, once.
It's an ancillary rave weapon?
No, it's–it's just a spear.
(FROM THIS SCENE)
Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in.
What's that spear for?
[Deadmau5 enters unassumingly]
YAH.
Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall.
HOOOOO
YOOOOOOO
WHAT THE FUCK.
*everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored.
You killed deadmau5
Well, you asked.
I asked why you had a spear!
–And i demonstrated.
OH MY GOD.
Lol demon-strated.
YOU KILLED DEADMAU5
Don't worry, he'll be back.
Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza.
What are you doing.
Extra cheese.
Sunni.
What does it look like i'm doing.
Ordering a pizza.
Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck!
Hello. Yeah, sorry.
Sunni.
WHAT. SHUT UP.
You're strictly vegan.
Well, now i'm vegetarian.
Shut up.
sunni!
What!? THE FUCK.
It's in your contract.
So is this.
What.
What. Do you want pizza?
Sunni.
Make that two pizzas.
Sunni
Yes, both extra cheese.
Ok.
Sunni.
Shut up.
Ok.
Sunni
SHUT UP.
No not you!
Apologies.
Ok. Use the intercom.
Peace.
*hangs up*
Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis.
Sunni, what are you doing?
I'm–going for a swim. In my pool.
No, I mean.
What.
You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies.
I also have sponsorship with Walmart.
WAL * MART
That's not the point.
What's the point?
You're being avoidant.
I–always avoid you.
You have contracts!
That's why I avoid you.
With huge companies!
Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub.
You can't just.
Trust me, Maybel.
IT's-
I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down.
What's this got to do with Dillon Francis.
NOTHIN.
*phone rings*
YO.
Ugh.
Yeah, Come over.
Sunni!
I ordered pizza.
[later, in the hot tub]
Nevermind, next scene!
Ah NO!
What!
(Don't worry, I know how it goes.)
“What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Well, for the most part, I wanted to live.
Okay, you're alive.
No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck.
Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I
SHUT UP.
What?
JUST SHUT UP.
Uhm.
UGH.
Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid.
A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence.
TO BE CONTINUED
Honestly, though–
I just wanna get like, really hot, and like
Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues
I mean, really good looking
Smart ones
Probably do that,
eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods
Cook more healthy shit
Bake pies
Fuck some more
–and forget I ever even tried to make music.
Lol
And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids
Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds,
Publish some of my books,
Play video games
And forget about what a DJ is or what they do
Unless I occasionally show up to a festival
To get shitfaced
And be really hot,
Like I never got to be in my teens,
Or in my 20's
–But on the other hand,
If i can't do any of that–
I don't know,
not exactly live my hopes and dreams,
cause , you know–
Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical
Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams,
Or even
“Living my best life”
Cause if i'm living my best iife
I'm headlining EDC,
(Before getting shitfaced),
And,
I don't know,
Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes
–I mean really good looking–
Smart ones–
But like, just one–
Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe
I don't know,
Isn't a nightmare?
But that's pushing it.
Taht's wild to think about:
Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions
One of which is music
(Fucking shoot me)
and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature–
Which is, honestly,
More, like,
Just a natural talent,
For example,
How,
Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill,
Lifting what's around apparently ‘135',
(according to some stranger at the gym)
And working out to my own mixtape–
Not once, but twice–
Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten
How goog it was;
And, it was so good,
I couldn't actually believe it–
Like, at all–
So instead of listening to another mixtape,
I just listened to it again to confirm
(With myself)
“Damn, that was good”
Cause it was–
Only to come back to this giant,
Piece of shit,
Hell hole of a hotel
To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate
Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself
For the first time in weeks.
So i think about it,
After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation
In the amount of time it's taken to turn a
15 minute mile
Into a ten minute mile,
A ten minute mile into an
Eight Minute Mile,
And An Eight minute mile into
Two eight minute miles,
Nonstop, by the way,
Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on
Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that
Didn't look like
Flinstones and taste like sweettarts
Cause lets face it:
That's sweet tarts, right?
–but it is impressive to me
I impressed myself;
I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at
Whole Foods Market
And going to the gym every day
Even if its for 5 minutes
Every Single Day
With the exception of–
You know
When my roomate's depression gets so bad
It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that
I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat
So many times
And can't help on my life to think about her
When it gets to the law that states
That you can die of other people's misery.
Cause you can,
And I almost did,
So i consider myself, these days
to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived
Cause i've got
Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and,
deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious
–and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone
And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to,
but -
Again,
I've come so far
And fought so hard just
Trying to live
or at least
Trying to catch up
To the caucasians
And sometimes, but rarely
asians and other ethnics that
actually fit in;
and were born alive rather than dead
In bodies and with minds that functioned
Maybe not perfectly,
But well enough to socialize
or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given
Not to complain
(Again)
But just to reiterate,
I was born with gifts and talents,
But, doubling back
To the 48 Laws
I learned all of them from my mom
Before I turned one
And the way I read the book was
Pretty much just
A backwards regression,
Realizing that having a mother
With so much trauma and depression
Might effect everything
And be the difference between
Being an athlete, a superstar musician
Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram;
Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me
Of how fat I am
Or that I'm black
Or how much i've failed
Or of all the things I could but can't do
Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen
Or whatever you wanna call her
We all have names, but
It's possible that
We've been lost
In all the comparison to one another
Because in all this time
Woman to woman and
Man to man
Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want.
So what do I want?
Fuck it,
I want a yacht,
With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it
Just so i can throw them off
and ride off into the sunset
So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event
Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row
–well, maybe, not all of them
but a lot,
Or maybe I just want their bodies
I don't know
The only difference between love and lust comes
From motherhood;
So where's my son fit in to all of this?
Or i should just
Leave him in the dust, with his father
Who I often think of
Cause the raised scar he left me
Crosses my tongue every other word?
Sure. Whatever.
It's just more to write about,
But I might want less to write about cause
I've been studying other authors
And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow
–But honesty, i've been working out so hard
It's hard to want to off myself
Till I come to this hotel
Where my roommate just–
Doesn't sti will with me
And doesn't sit still at all
—which is crazy to think
That in all this narcissism i've developed
I still have enough empathy
That her anxiety makes me
Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't
So empty I coud vomit
And i thought i was making it up, but
As it turned out,
Beautiful women can't be tested
And it seems she's probably still beautiful
To the many men
that would love to have
a perfect girl
To bend to his will;
But really, It's almost as if
with every evil thing she's done
someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw
With each remark
Of course, I'm sure it's all for something
But i wanted more for us to get along
Than to have a room alone
Where i could tell this story;
Or write my albums
Or wipe the slate clean
I'm thinking of just
Starting over
Of course, sixteen pages deep
I find it hard to believe
It really just comes naturally
And quite automatic
That it's almost paranormal
What do I want?
A warm body
That won't hurt me
a home of my own
A couple of dogs –
Here it goes again
Fuck Dillon Francis
I want a life so well fucking lived
And well accomplished that
It doesn't even matter,
The Festival Project, or anything in it
Fuck, I just want to be happy
What if i cured 30 years of depression
Eating Whole Foods Market
and working out, without
Therapy,
Using google documents and
Dance music as an outlet?
Wouldn't you be proud?
Or maybe I could get offed for that.
I don't know..
Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander
The password was flagship
Getting abstract and poetic again,
Picking up pennies
bending my enemies into my empathy,
Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs
Ugh
The best of the best,
A decade has passed
I'm switching my cadences,
Just in case somebody reads this crap
Blissful awareness,
I shouldn't be scares of it
Clandestine palaces crash,
Shattered by amethyst
Man, fuck dillon francis
and his happy ass,
always had it,
perfectly privleged
caucasian interchangeable
dangerous engagement of a
girlfriend .
Yeah, fuck both of them.
Again, if you're taking it literal–
Fuck it,
They're both fucking beautiful.
I'll just be
USeful, or something.
Should probably brush up my resume–
Interesting, isn't it?
Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train
before neyla went crazy,
But heyl
I made it up.
We can pretend we're individuals
But i live in a collective consciousness,
Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this
I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious
But that's just be being pompous.
I'm half a white supremacist, anyway
Conservative, straight up
But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up
But hey,
At least there's deadmau5.
Oh yeah, that's what I want.
I want to be like deadmau5.
I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers
A custom sound system
and a hot wife;
A big brain,
A fan base,
And a nice body;
I want a whole lot of
Flying around,
and everybody loving me;
And loving every body
At every party
Amen
Yeah, that's what I want.
I want to be a rockstar;
I want a daughter with Skrillex
And six encores.
I want a horse drawn carriage;
An all-star wedding,
and a Tesla;
I want my chest done so damn big,
I need a reduction.
Better stay humble.
For better, or worse, you know.
If it was a curse,
I'd probably be worse off,
Than all who have wronged me–
It never lasts long,
It's all temporary,
Nobody loves me–
I'm just a pathological insomniac
Call me a
Devil, I'll try to find him–
A vegan light skin, but in the eyes
I'd probably find him
A cut above it all,
I'm just in awe we've never talked,
But i'm just like you
A stone against a wall,
I'd be a shamed to call my father
Suicidal
But that's where my mind goes
When there's no one
And my own son
Doesn't know me
But I only know
What love is
Cause i held him
In my arms
the very moment
He was born
So
What do I want?
I want him to know?
I'll always love him
No matter where I go
And I'd rather be homeless
Than no one
In my own home
Next to his father
What do I want?
I want him to go to school
And never worry
if he''ll be able to catch up.
What do I want?
I want a family,
But that can't heppen
Cause nobody loves me
What do I want?
I want to see Satan in his own body;
Instead of taking the ones around me
And playing with them
Since he wants to follow me
What do I want?
A lot of money
Said everybody.
What do I want?
A son and a daughter–
that won't die before me.
What do I want?
I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me.
What do I want?
I want to google the definition of ‘pithy”
Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head
Like depression hasn't;
But my roomate has it
And i'm not trying to catch it
Fucking toxic obnoxious
Whatever, forget it
SUCCUBUS.
Yeah, we know what that is.
pith·y
/ˈpiTHē/
adjective
1.
(of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive.
2.
(of a fruit or plant) containing much pith.
Nice.
Yeah well.
This whole thing is opening my third eye,
To how guys see it.
It doesn't make sense
To give consent,
And then renig it;
This isn't sex
But if it was,
Why would you mess with his head like that?
And if it was
If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine
But get the fuck out of here with that
I can't
So
What do I want?
To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy
What do I want?
I want psychology to catch up to my understanding.
What do i want?
Honestly, i just want my own something
What do I want?
To balance the toxicity, I guess
Everybody has choices
And mine is–
I count my blessings, just to stay blessed
I don't want anything from anybody.
But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely .
Perhaps, soe reverse psychology,
But if I go back to school
I'll be bored
(and really horny)
If i go back to school,
I'll owe even more money!
If i go back to school
I'll do music and not psychology.
If i go back to school,
I'll have professors younger than me.
If i go back to school
I'll drown in the toxicity;
The new generation's vaping, hating themselves
canceling everything:
everyone's a baby rapist
But you can't say it
or isolate them
cause tolerating even the most
Unsavory behavior is
fuck , i lost it.
What happened.
Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a'
Lets see. fuck .
To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating,
Nope, i lost it
You thnk so
Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its
what
Soul.
What. you have one of those?
Yeah.
Dang. That's cool.
Everyone has one
(that's not true)
*shrugs* I don't.
What.
I used to.
What?!
I sold it.
What.
To the devil.
Now i'm famous.
*shrugs, super satisfied*
…How'd you get famous?
…I woke up like this.
*nods, unquestioning*
I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday.
I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy.
So what do you want?
I want to stop writing, but it's still early.
What do you want?
I want more coffee, and less yawning.
What do you want?
I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her
And she's angry I ruined my body by eating.
Perceivably.
The positives:
Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan.
The positives:
Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil;
But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know–
I've been brushing up on Kabbalah
It seems to attempt to provoke, but
I'd rather do nothing but stall
Perhaps i've adapted habits
Become pathological, or
What have you
At least I know that condition
comes from trauma
Not that i'm
Not responsible
I just stoped giving a fuck
If everything i do is wrong
And i'm the problem
Why do i keep waking up, then?
What do you want?
I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me.
What do you want?
I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week.
What do you want?
I want to raise smart and capable children.
What do you want?
I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed
I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex
I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment
In manhattan, and
My ex husband to pay back
All of the money I paid him
But that's pushing it.
I want everything.
I want a world tour
I want to do more with my life than just
Sit here
And write about it
I want to be wanted and loved
Not by everybody
But perhaps
Just a loyal fanbase
A few hundred thousand
Maybe a million
Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and
My talent is condensed and limited by
The language barrier
I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier
I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy
I want people to know the rest of the story
Why i'm crazy
How I made it all up–
And they helped me
How we all decided on the world we're in together
And the only way to get to heaven is to remember.
Kx5
…I remember.
MAN, SHUT THE FUCK
–
UP.
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-U.
It's so wrong
All that I want from you;
You're all I want–
And all I've ever gotten
It's funny, huh,
How it all works out
Around the world and back
And I'm still the same as I ever was
You're all I want,
Because y're everything I'm not
False flag
I might throw in the towl
I don't mean to brag but
My mind is fowl
I live in the gutter
With less responsibility,
I might be a part animal
But–
What you see is what you get
(If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic
Till the sun comes up,
And it sets again)
Or was it acid
My secret combination
A flower in a garden
Beg your pardon
I got a hard on
Honest
Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you.
Promise.
Thats about the only promise i can make.
Moe toxic than AIDS.
You have AIDS.
Anything can be arranged.
You would do that just to spite me?
I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis.
This is the worst.
This is the worst, ever.
EAT THE BRATWURST.
NAAEEERR.
EAAT THE SAUSAGE.
NOOO–AAAHHH.
JUST–EAT IT.
AHHHHHHHH.
This story takes forever to tell.
Well, it's going to have to be less than forever.
For what.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME.
This version of me likes everything spicy.
That's it? That's the only difference?
–and does a lot of cocaine.
Oh. That's
Nice.
*snifs*
nice .
Hey.
Hey.
Hold this.
*leaves*
…haha.
What, dude.
I'm gonna kill you in your sleep.
You wanna know what's fucked up?
No.
I have dirty little secrets no one should know about–
–Christ–
–And people know about them.
I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone.
What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map.
I'm making peace with this.
Here, breakfast.
What's in this.
Eggs.
What's going on.
Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed.
-_-
Aw. That kid is cute.
I know huh.
TYLER.
Lol. who the fuck is tyler.
I don't know.
TYLER, GET IN HERE.
TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS.
[TYLER]
Woah.
Whaaat.
Ah. What's in a name, anyway?
That's it? That's the only difference.
Yup.
His name's “Tyler”
He's fucking perfect.
Yeah, except.
TYLER!
OH MY GOD. WHAT.
DId you ever figure out what happened to the-
No, not yet.
DEADMAU5
I don't respect you.
Aww. did you hear that?
I heart that.
deadmau5 doesn't respect me.
that's sad.
that is sad. I'm so sad.
I'd be sad.
now i'm sadmau5.
lol
So. Wait.
Mmhmm.
I'm–deadmau5.
Yes.
So that means.
WHAT IS THIS CRISIS.
I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am.
DADMAU5.
What did you do.
I dug up a lot of pasts.
PASTS.
And brought them to the present.
Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus.
I don't understand.
Please, please stop this.
I can't. It's happened.
PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York.
SKRILLEX
I'M A GOD.
PART II: Revenge.
ME
Revenge!? What revenge!
I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX.
SKRILLEX
DIE MOTHERFUCKER.
*dies*
This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight.
Make that 8.
8 Seasons Straight.
Wait. What was that dream I had last night
I hope she remembers.
It was something important.
Don't tell mom about this.
Mom about what.
[Explosion]
OH MY GOD.
Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can–
Do that.
But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well–
[WORST DRAGON EVER]
It's a dragon, and that's what it does.
COELACANTH GROWLS
Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke.
I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse.
What's worse than being broke in New York City.
My God, you're right. Well.
COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN.
That's it, buddy! NO more bananas
COELACANTH
???
NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty]
See?
What did you do.
Nothin.
WHAT DID YOU DO.
Don't touch me.
Why are you squinting like that.
Uh. Cause I have eyes.
You have a secret.
Everyone has secrets.
YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME.
Alright, buddy.
Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go.
Where are you going?
To get some dick.
EW.
Arguably.
That's gross.
I'm–pretty gross.
Ugh!
See ya. Or not. Whatever.
Sorry to say “I'm sorry”
So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more
Okay
I'll jus curl up under my
Security blanket
It's a curse, sure it is
I write myself blank checks
Jim Carrey me home
(whatever that means)
Cause
I've been homeless so long
And nobody wants me
It's just a bee sting,
But don't eat honey
No worries
I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry”
So he don't love me, huh
That's awful
So what was it all for
Homework
Somehow, I just go back and forth
That's the way to move forward
Sure, it is–it's a curse
*cough* a lovely photographer,
Sorry I loved him before
But it's awful now
Take me home
(Whatever that was)
No worries
I write myself blank checks
Jim Carrey me home
(whatever that means)
Cause
I've been homeless so long
And nobody wants me
It's just a bee sting,
But don't eat honey
No worries
I've been under the radar famous
Haven't been the same sense
Same senses: six of them
Don't even know what today is
__
It's just a sex thing;
I don't want the rest of you
That she can have
Your other less-than-half
I still have a percentage
(Nonsense)
I still want to grab at your–
(Aha)
First things first,
And last things last
All of these past lives
I get the last laugh
If that's your first wife
Good luck, getting it right
God knows I tried
God knows when I'm crying,
And still doesn't like it
So much for colorblind
Automatic shades, and motorized blind
What a lovely time to find
A tie that binds
Sugar and spice
That's mild,
Compared to your wild eyes
And the trials I've
Tested thorough lik vials
(or, test tubes, right)
That's the best cube, right
The latest edition
I've had my eye on
It's just a distraction
I haven't the slightest idea
What an Ion is,
Beyond science and mathematics,
This magic campaign
A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis
That's what that is
I left that Amethyst
At your Grandma's.
What.
“To Gradmother's House We Go”
I don't think this is a good plan–
This is the plan.
–at all.
I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma.
Dillon Francis.
Gross.
Listen, that's the only way.
But what if she's racist.
She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist.
MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA
[Speaking in croatian]
Damn. This is fucked up.
I think we went back too far.
WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE.
WHO'S COTTON- PICKING?
Oh God, stop this.
My eye is in the Sky–
(My eye is in the sky)
I'm always by your side
My eye is in the sky
YOu keep asking me what I want,
Like I know the answer!
Like, I know the answer–
But like, you're not gonna like it,
I mean you might,
And I could try to divide by 5
To get the answer right,
But not tonight
I'm too busy dying
I guess i”m a dick rider.
Right,
I'm just–
A big writer,
Provided I'm onto my idol
Or icon
Drawing on dollars,
A white collar criminal
It's simple
This isn't my passion–
But it's my talent;
Whatever,
I'll have to work at it
Addition, subtraction
(Erect, or dysfunctional)
Truly poetic, but
lets keep it classy
I'm passing it on my my agent,
He'll have a laugh at it.
So it's been another ten years;
Here we are,
In the place that i built
If you're so fond of me ,
How about you follow me
Into the next life,
Onward, and into the darkness
Oh! You can see in the dark now?
You succubus!
Isolate all of us,
Bring you up high till you fall down
The irony is,
I'm not ungrateful,
I just feel as if
I've slightly earned it
(Just a little bit)
Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen
But at the very least, at the end of it
I can just laugh and pretend
It didn't happen
Fellas,
You ever been shit on by two women
At the same time,
(not literally–
but , ust out o f curiosity,
If i was being seriously literal,
How many of you
Would have still said yes,
By a raise of hands?
Or, lets just have all the
Supersta DJs stand up
(Every single fan would give you a hand job!)
Just remember the guy holding
The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says
“The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore
Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom
Or the chick who's crying on her
“Fuck it, I quit!”
–But Hailey, we needed the second income
Gotta start somewhere
“–I just need a plunger”
Better try elsewhere, bud
It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this
Dillon Francis Shit.
Fuck.
I did it again
I let my obsessions slip
In the deadmau5, a false flag
In the big relay race to Skrillex
—and I can't image how backed up his inbox is
with pictures of ass and tits on
Anyday of the year,
but especially, this–
Happy Birthday, kid.
Now where's the pinata?
I oughtta wish him a bat to the head
For the shit he said
And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic
All over the internet
It's all over the internet
Better yet,
I'm on the black market,
I just bought it for a dollar
I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark
Suck my balls, fart.
That guy's a lot to handle.
Didn't I start this off with something more poetic?
I bet,
but got stuck in a mousetrap
I hope you're happy, you know
Actually,
I'm hoping it turns out tragic
Haven't you ever run out of your magic?
Wait, nobody has that.
It was.
All just.
In. Your.
Head.
Wake.
UP.
Hey kid,
What's the plan for tomorrow?
(Hopefully more falafels,
but probably not, thought)
Uh,
I gotta show up at the post office,
*facepalm*
Another Dillon Francis reference
Forget I ever had instagram
( haven't yet
So, what's the plan then?
More bacon on my bacon.
Okay, Mr. Miserable,
I get we're incompatible,
But i”m an animal,
Or at least the bi-product of something
Or somesuch
Fuck it,
I give all the way up.
Hey kid,
If i jump in front of a train
(and don't make it)
How am I gonna explain this?
I almost forgot how
When pretty girls turn evil
They get ugly
Huh
I guess I should humble up and consider us equals
huh
hey satan
I wish I could just –
Forget it
I wish i could just
Forget it
I wish i could just
Forget it
Any other kind of way,
And i could go crazy on a day like this
Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing.
I–what.
You have my blessing.
For what.
You love this girl.
CONT'D
Then marry her.
Wait, do what.
So it's settled!
Wait.
You're getting married.
DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED.
YES.
whaaaaat .
MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER.
Wait.
*CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF*
YESSSSSSSSS.
ohmygod.
Wait, why are you so happy?
Because!
*MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS*
Wow.
What's going on.
When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza.
What's so special about pizza.
CHEESE.
Oh, so it's cheese, you want?
Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker!
These are my dreams.
Well, that's gross!
Is it.
Why are we we at McDonalds?
When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds.
You're right.
I'm always right.
Maybe that's why you're so miserable.
Yeap, pretty much.
Where's your head?
In the shop.
FLASHBACk:
Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR.
That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that?
No, it literally only exists like, once.
It's an ancillary rave weapon?
No, it's–it's just a spear.
(FROM THIS SCENE)
Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in.
What's that spear for?
[Deadmau5 enters unassumingly]
YAH.
Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall.
HOOOOO
YOOOOOOO
WHAT THE FUCK.
*everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored.
You killed deadmau5
Well, you asked.
I asked why you had a spear!
–And i demonstrated.
OH MY GOD.
Lol demon-strated.
YOU KILLED DEADMAU5
Don't worry, he'll be back.
Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza.
What are you doing.
Extra cheese.
Sunni.
What does it look like i'm doing.
Ordering a pizza.
Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck!
Hello. Yeah, sorry.
Sunni.
WHAT. SHUT UP.
You're strictly vegan.
Well, now i'm vegetarian.
Shut up.
sunni!
What!? THE FUCK.
It's in your contract.
So is this.
What.
What. Do you want pizza?
Sunni.
Make that two pizzas.
Sunni
Yes, both extra cheese.
Ok.
Sunni.
Shut up.
Ok.
Sunni
SHUT UP.
No not you!
Apologies.
Ok. Use the intercom.
Peace.
*hangs up*
Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis.
Sunni, what are you doing?
I'm–going for a swim. In my pool.
No, I mean.
What.
You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies.
I also have sponsorship with Walmart.
WAL * MART
That's not the point.
What's the point?
You're being avoidant.
I–always avoid you.
You have contracts!
That's why I avoid you.
With huge companies!
Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub.
You can't just.
Trust me, Maybel.
IT's-
I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down.
What's this got to do with Dillon Francis.
NOTHIN.
*phone rings*
YO.
Ugh.
Yeah, Come over.
Sunni!
I ordered pizza.
[later, in the hot tub]
Nevermind, next scene!
Ah NO!
What!
(Don't worry, I know how it goes.)
“What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Well, for the most part, I wanted to live.
Okay, you're alive.
No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck.
Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I
SHUT UP.
What?
JUST SHUT UP.
Uhm.
UGH.
Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid.
A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence.
TO BE CONTINUED
Honestly, though–
I just wanna get like, really hot, and like
Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues
I mean, really good looking
Smart ones
Probably do that,
eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods
Cook more healthy shit
Bake pies
Fuck some more
–and forget I ever even tried to make music.
Lol
And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids
Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds,
Publish some of my books,
Play video games
And forget about what a DJ is or what they do
Unless I occasionally show up to a festival
To get shitfaced
And be really hot,
Like I never got to be in my teens,
Or in my 20's
–But on the other hand,
If i can't do any of that–
I don't know,
not exactly live my hopes and dreams,
cause , you know–
Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical
Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams,
Or even
“Living my best life”
Cause if i'm living my best iife
I'm headlining EDC,
(Before getting shitfaced),
And,
I don't know,
Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes
–I mean really good looking–
Smart ones–
But like, just one–
Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe
I don't know,
Isn't a nightmare?
But that's pushing it.
Taht's wild to think about:
Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions
One of which is music
(Fucking shoot me)
and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature–
Which is, honestly,
More, like,
Just a natural talent,
For example,
How,
Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill,
Lifting what's around apparently ‘135',
(according to some stranger at the gym)
And working out to my own mixtape–
Not once, but twice–
Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten
How goog it was;
And, it was so good,
I couldn't actually believe it–
Like, at all–
So instead of listening to another mixtape,
I just listened to it again to confirm
(With myself)
“Damn, that was good”
Cause it was–
Only to come back to this giant,
Piece of shit,
Hell hole of a hotel
To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate
Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself
For the first time in weeks.
So i think about it,
After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation
In the amount of time it's taken to turn a
15 minute mile
Into a ten minute mile,
A ten minute mile into an
Eight Minute Mile,
And An Eight minute mile into
Two eight minute miles,
Nonstop, by the way,
Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on
Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that
Didn't look like
Flinstones and taste like sweettarts
Cause lets face it:
That's sweet tarts, right?
–but it is impressive to me
I impressed myself;
I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at
Whole Foods Market
And going to the gym every day
Even if its for 5 minutes
Every Single Day
With the exception of–
You know
When my roomate's depression gets so bad
It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that
I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat
So many times
And can't help on my life to think about her
When it gets to the law that states
That you can die of other people's misery.
Cause you can,
And I almost did,
So i consider myself, these days
to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived
Cause i've got
Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and,
deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious
–and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone
And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to,
but -
Again,
I've come so far
And fought so hard just
Trying to live
or at least
Trying to catch up
To the caucasians
And sometimes, but rarely
asians and other ethnics that
actually fit in;
and were born alive rather than dead
In bodies and with minds that functioned
Maybe not perfectly,
But well enough to socialize
or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given
Not to complain
(Again)
But just to reiterate,
I was born with gifts and talents,
But, doubling back
To the 48 Laws
I learned all of them from my mom
Before I turned one
And the way I read the book was
Pretty much just
A backwards regression,
Realizing that having a mother
With so much trauma and depression
Might effect everything
And be the difference between
Being an athlete, a superstar musician
Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram;
Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me
Of how fat I am
Or that I'm black
Or how much i've failed
Or of all the things I could but can't do
Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen
Or whatever you wanna call her
We all have names, but
It's possible that
We've been lost
In all the comparison to one another
Because in all this time
Woman to woman and
Man to man
Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want.
So what do I want?
Fuck it,
I want a yacht,
With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it
Just so i can throw them off
and ride off into the sunset
So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event
Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row
–well, maybe, not all of them
but a lot,
Or maybe I just want their bodies
I don't know
The only difference between love and lust comes
From motherhood;
So where's my son fit in to all of this?
Or i should just
Leave him in the dust, with his father
Who I often think of
Cause the raised scar he left me
Crosses my tongue every other word?
Sure. Whatever.
It's just more to write about,
But I might want less to write about cause
I've been studying other authors
And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow
–But honesty, i've been working out so hard
It's hard to want to off myself
Till I come to this hotel
Where my roommate just–
Doesn't sti will with me
And doesn't sit still at all
—which is crazy to think
That in all this narcissism i've developed
I still have enough empathy
That her anxiety makes me
Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't
So empty I coud vomit
And i thought i was making it up, but
As it turned out,
Beautiful women can't be tested
And it seems she's probably still beautiful
To the many men
that would love to have
a perfect girl
To bend to his will;
But really, It's almost as if
with every evil thing she's done
someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw
With each remark
Of course, I'm sure it's all for something
But i wanted more for us to get along
Than to have a room alone
Where i could tell this story;
Or write my albums
Or wipe the slate clean
I'm thinking of just
Starting over
Of course, sixteen pages deep
I find it hard to believe
It really just comes naturally
And quite automatic
That it's almost paranormal
What do I want?
A warm body
That won't hurt me
a home of my own
A couple of dogs –
Here it goes again
Fuck Dillon Francis
I want a life so well fucking lived
And well accomplished that
It doesn't even matter,
The Festival Project, or anything in it
Fuck, I just want to be happy
What if i cured 30 years of depression
Eating Whole Foods Market
and working out, without
Therapy,
Using google documents and
Dance music as an outlet?
Wouldn't you be proud?
Or maybe I could get offed for that.
I don't know..
Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander
The password was flagship
Getting abstract and poetic again,
Picking up pennies
bending my enemies into my empathy,
Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs
Ugh
The best of the best,
A decade has passed
I'm switching my cadences,
Just in case somebody reads this crap
Blissful awareness,
I shouldn't be scares of it
Clandestine palaces crash,
Shattered by amethyst
Man, fuck dillon francis
and his happy ass,
always had it,
perfectly privleged
caucasian interchangeable
dangerous engagement of a
girlfriend .
Yeah, fuck both of them.
Again, if you're taking it literal–
Fuck it,
They're both fucking beautiful.
I'll just be
USeful, or something.
Should probably brush up my resume–
Interesting, isn't it?
Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train
before neyla went crazy,
But heyl
I made it up.
We can pretend we're individuals
But i live in a collective consciousness,
Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this
I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious
But that's just be being pompous.
I'm half a white supremacist, anyway
Conservative, straight up
But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up
But hey,
At least there's deadmau5.
Oh yeah, that's what I want.
I want to be like deadmau5.
I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers
A custom sound system
and a hot wife;
A big brain,
A fan base,
And a nice body;
I want a whole lot of
Flying around,
and everybody loving me;
And loving every body
At every party
Amen
Yeah, that's what I want.
I want to be a rockstar;
I want a daughter with Skrillex
And six encores.
I want a horse drawn carriage;
An all-star wedding,
and a Tesla;
I want my chest done so damn big,
I need a reduction.
Better stay humble.
For better, or worse, you know.
If it was a curse,
I'd probably be worse off,
Than all who have wronged me–
It never lasts long,
It's all temporary,
Nobody loves me–
I'm just a pathological insomniac
Call me a
Devil, I'll try to find him–
A vegan light skin, but in the eyes
I'd probably find him
A cut above it all,
I'm just in awe we've never talked,
But i'm just like you
A stone against a wall,
I'd be a shamed to call my father
Suicidal
But that's where my mind goes
When there's no one
And my own son
Doesn't know me
But I only know
What love is
Cause i held him
In my arms
the very moment
He was born
So
What do I want?
I want him to know?
I'll always love him
No matter where I go
And I'd rather be homeless
Than no one
In my own home
Next to his father
What do I want?
I want him to go to school
And never worry
if he''ll be able to catch up.
What do I want?
I want a family,
But that can't heppen
Cause nobody loves me
What do I want?
I want to see Satan in his own body;
Instead of taking the ones around me
And playing with them
Since he wants to follow me
What do I want?
A lot of money
Said everybody.
What do I want?
A son and a daughter–
that won't die before me.
What do I want?
I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me.
What do I want?
I want to google the definition of ‘pithy”
Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head
Like depression hasn't;
But my roomate has it
And i'm not trying to catch it
Fucking toxic obnoxious
Whatever, forget it
SUCCUBUS.
Yeah, we know what that is.
pith·y
/ˈpiTHē/
adjective
1.
(of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive.
2.
(of a fruit or plant) containing much pith.
Nice.
Yeah well.
This whole thing is opening my third eye,
To how guys see it.
It doesn't make sense
To give consent,
And then renig it;
This isn't sex
But if it was,
Why would you mess with his head like that?
And if it was
If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine
But get the fuck out of here with that
I can't
So
What do I want?
To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy
What do I want?
I want psychology to catch up to my understanding.
What do i want?
Honestly, i just want my own something
What do I want?
To balance the toxicity, I guess
Everybody has choices
And mine is–
I count my blessings, just to stay blessed
I don't want anything from anybody.
But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely .
Perhaps, soe reverse psychology,
But if I go back to school
I'll be bored
(and really horny)
If i go back to school,
I'll owe even more money!
If i go back to school
I'll do music and not psychology.
If i go back to school,
I'll have professors younger than me.
If i go back to school
I'll drown in the toxicity;
The new generation's vaping, hating themselves
canceling everything:
everyone's a baby rapist
But you can't say it
or isolate them
cause tolerating even the most
Unsavory behavior is
fuck , i lost it.
What happened.
Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a'
Lets see. fuck .
To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating,
Nope, i lost it
You thnk so
Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its
what
Soul.
What. you have one of those?
Yeah.
Dang. That's cool.
Everyone has one
(that's not true)
*shrugs* I don't.
What.
I used to.
What?!
I sold it.
What.
To the devil.
Now i'm famous.
*shrugs, super satisfied*
…How'd you get famous?
…I woke up like this.
*nods, unquestioning*
I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday.
I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy.
So what do you want?
I want to stop writing, but it's still early.
What do you want?
I want more coffee, and less yawning.
What do you want?
I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her
And she's angry I ruined my body by eating.
Perceivably.
The positives:
Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan.
The positives:
Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil;
But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know–
I've been brushing up on Kabbalah
It seems to attempt to provoke, but
I'd rather do nothing but stall
Perhaps i've adapted habits
Become pathological, or
What have you
At least I know that condition
comes from trauma
Not that i'm
Not responsible
I just stoped giving a fuck
If everything i do is wrong
And i'm the problem
Why do i keep waking up, then?
What do you want?
I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me.
What do you want?
I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week.
What do you want?
I want to raise smart and capable children.
What do you want?
I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed
I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex
I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment
In manhattan, and
My ex husband to pay back
All of the money I paid him
But that's pushing it.
I want everything.
I want a world tour
I want to do more with my life than just
Sit here
And write about it
I want to be wanted and loved
Not by everybody
But perhaps
Just a loyal fanbase
A few hundred thousand
Maybe a million
Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and
My talent is condensed and limited by
The language barrier
I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier
I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy
I want people to know the rest of the story
Why i'm crazy
How I made it all up–
And they helped me
How we all decided on the world we're in together
And the only way to get to heaven is to remember.
Kx5
…I remember.
MAN, SHUT THE FUCK
–
UP.
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-U.