Divorce in Plain English

Legally divorced. Still trapped in the same house.

That was my reality. And for a long time I did not have wordsfor what it was doing to me.

The marriage had legally ended. The paperwork was done. And Iwas still living under the same roof as the person I had just divorced —because the consent order had not been agreed, the financial settlement wasstill being disputed, and neither of us could simply walk away.

I worked from home every day. There was no commute. No office.No physical escape from the situation.

This episode is about what that actually feels like from theinside.

— Separate shelves in the fridge. Separate plates. A lockedbedroom door. The specific physical details nobody talks about.

— The hypervigilance of living with someone who issimultaneously the person you built your life with and your legal opponent.

— The compartmentalisation that keeps you functioning whilethe situation costs you more than you realise.

— The quiet ordinary moment when my former partner finallyleft — and what it told me about everything the previous months had done to me.

If you are living in the same house as your ex right now —this episode is for you.

This content is based on personal experience of the financialremedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal orfinancial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional. If you arestruggling with the emotional impact of your situation please speak to your GPor contact Mind at mind.org.uk

Free Divorce Finances Starter Checklist:https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com

Book a Clarity Call (£47):https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session

Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£12):https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

Follow Divorce in Plain English on Spotify so you never missan episode.

Can I afford to keep the family home after divorce? It is the question I hear more than any other. And it is the one most people enter negotiations about without the information they actually need.

• The five numbers to know before any negotiation about the family home — and why most people only know one of them
• The trade-off that costs women the most in UK divorce proceedings — keeping the house and giving up the pension
• How to tell whether keeping the family home serves your financial future — or works against it

This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.

📩 Free Divorce Finances Starter Checklist: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com
📅 Book a Clarity Call (£47): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session
📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£12): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🎙️ Season 2 of Divorce in Plain English is now live.

Follow on Spotify so you never miss an episode.

There was a day when I stopped fighting my divorce. Not because I had won. Not because the process was over. Because the way I had been fighting was costing me more than I could afford to keep paying — financially, physically and in the quality of every decision I was making.

• What the sustained state of conflict does to your nervous system over time — and the cost that never appears on any solicitor's bill
• The shift from reactive to strategic — what it actually means and why it produced better decisions and a better outcome
• The one question Vincent asked himself that changed everything — and how to apply it to your own situation right now

This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.

📩 Free checklist and newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com
📅 Book a Clarity Call (£47): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session
📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£12): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🎙️ Season 2 of Divorce in Plain English is now live — new episodes every two weeks. Follow on Spotify so you never miss one.

My mortgage sat at 8.8% for years during my divorce. Not because I was bad with money. Not because I had not tried to fix it. Because remortgaging required agreement from someone who had no intention of agreeing.

Every month I watched money disappear that did not have to disappear. I was borrowing to cover bills. Working seven days a week. Visiting my doctor because the stress was affecting my health. And the mortgage just kept sitting there — a reminder of how trapped I was inside someone else's choices.

• Why divorce creates financial traps that have nothing to do with your income or your willingness to act — and what being trapped inside one actually feels like
• The real cost of the 8.8% mortgage — not just in money but in health, sleep and the sustained anxiety that never switches off
• What Vincent wishes he had done differently — and what to do if you are in a similar position right now

This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.

📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com
📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session
📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🎙️ Season 2 of Divorce in Plain English is now live — new episodes every two weeks.

Follow on Spotify so you never miss one.

Nobody asked how I was coping.

They just expected me to keep going.

And I did.

In this episode of Divorce in Plain English, I talk openly about something I have never addressed directly before: the silence many men carry through divorce.

I share my own experience of working seven days a week, carrying financial pressure alone, watching my mortgage jump to 8.8%, taking out loans to cover bills, and convincing myself I was fine when I wasn't.

This is not a legal episode.

It is a personal one.

We talk about why men stay silent, what that silence costs us financially and emotionally, and what I wish I had done differently.

If you are going through a divorce right now, or know someone who is, I hope this episode helps.

No legal advice. Just plain English from someone who has been there.

📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com

📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session

📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

• What divorce actually does to a person emotionally — and why the weight of it is so rarely talked about honestly
• How prolonged financial stress during proceedings affects you psychologically — and what happens when grief gets pushed down instead of processed
• What Dr Venus Olla wishes every person going through divorce knew about their own emotional response to it

Vincent James is joined by Dr Venus Olla — Registered Psychotherapist, trauma specialist and founder of Olla Healing Arts in Windsor, Ontario — for the most personal and important conversation this podcast has ever had. Dr Olla brings over 20 years of clinical experience in trauma, grief and life transitions to a discussion that goes far beyond the finances.

This content is based on personal experience and clinical expertise. It is for information only — not legal, financial or therapeutic advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional for your specific circumstances.

📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com

📅 Book a personal session with Vincent (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLq4xFuF59tYompLnGumBPqzaR3ddGilFz

📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🌐 Work with Dr Venus Olla: https://www.venusolla.com

🎙️ Season 2 of Divorce in Plain English is now live — new episodes every week. Follow on Spotify so you never miss one.

I have answered questions about divorce finances for two seasons. In two days I ask the questions I could never answer myself — with Dr Venus Olla, Registered Psychotherapist with many years experience in trauma and grief. Dropping 1st June.This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb🎙️ Full episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6co6pfsXEjTLB2XRhXZRCG▶️ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceinPlainEnglish

In eight days the most personal and important episode of Divorce in Plain English drops. Dr Venus Olla — Registered Psychotherapist — joins Vincent James for a conversation about the emotional weight of divorce that most people carry completely alone.This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb🎙️ Full episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6co6pfsXEjTLB2XRhXZRCG▶️ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceinPlainEnglish

There was a moment in my divorce when I realized that nobody was coming to explain the process to me — and that if I did not start understanding it myself I was going to lose things I could not afford to lose.

• Why the fog of not understanding the financial remedy process costs you more than you realize — in money, in decisions and in your sense of control
• The moment Vincent stopped reacting and started understanding — and how that single shift changed everything about how he approached his proceedings
• What 22 years of carrying the financial weight of a marriage actually means in the eyes of the court — and why Vincent found out too late

This content is based on personal experience of the financial remedy process in England and Wales. It is for information only — not legal or financial advice. Always seek advice from a qualified professional.

📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com

📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session

📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🎙️ Season 2 of Divorce in Plain English is now live — new episodes every week. Follow on Spotify so you never miss one.

📩 Free weekly newsletter: https://divorceinplainenglish.substack.com

📅 Book a personal session (£95): https://calendly.com/adejames/talk-to-vincent-personal-divorce-experience-session

📖 Financial Remedy Roadmap ebook (£25): https://shinajames.gumroad.com/l/drdgzb

🎙️ Full episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6co6pfsXEjTLB2XRhXZRCG

▶️ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceinPlainEnglish